My friend just found out
That a 28 week old baby is inside the womb. How do you not notice that from 3 months?

What shocking, or nice, or both (yay babies!) has happened to you today?
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

JMG has NO children.
Another insight for JMG fans.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

JMG is a jaffa

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Why am I getting reports a certain large man nearby is in fact a seedless grape?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

I am

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

That's probably a good thing

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

Indeed it is
I dont want more spawn.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

If you did, they'd be one of the popular lot at school.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Headmaster by playtime.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

I nearly got hit by a mad Jaguar driver on the way back from the shop at lunch

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

yeah, sorry about that

(thediscokingpin, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

I doubt many people know exactly what it feels like to have a baby in their womb

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

I had to go on NATIONAL RADIO and explain why women are shit on comedy panel shows.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

Can you sum it up in a media friendly sound-bite?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

If I could I'd probably get a lot more work.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

Can I listen to this online somewhere?
I would like to hear your musings
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

the funny ones aren't

( scott,, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I feel a bit bad for some of them
Mainly the ones who go on the News Quiz and then talk about boys and relationships and Facebook.

It's just please, try not to be the stereotype. Be more like Sue Perkins.
( Theoban What of it, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

They got the wrong man for knifing that pregnant mother
my fun continues unhindered.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

Which womb?
This is important.
( ArthurTheRat, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

Womb 101, starring Paul Merton, this week's guest is an unexpected foetus.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

Next week: Brian Blessed

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

A nice nurse managed to get some blood out of my body after only 6 goes.
Which wasn't particularly nice but quite shocking.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

go punch
( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

You must look like a dart board.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

She had to punch you 6 times ?
She must have been a bit of a pansy.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

I'm no nurse
but i'm sure I could get blood out of you much quicker than that
(thediscokingpin, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Fuck all, unless you count my resolve to resign increasing dramatically.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

But how is your desire to resign dramatically?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

Large. Very tempted to tell them where to stick their job.
ALAS! Mortgage.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

:(
Did you look at new sofas at the weekend?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

No I looked at the telly, mainly.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

:D
Was there anything interesting on?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

STAR TREK

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Always good :)
My DVDs are secured inside cardboard boxes until Sat 20th though
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

whatdooyoodoo?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

operations admin, project management
or as I like to call it 'having the piss taken out of my poor undermined self for close to two years thanklessly'.

Woe is me, emo emo emo etc.

Apologies for dickishness last week, also. Being under lots of pressure makes Captain an odd girl.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

so whatdooyoodoo exactly? that's a tremendously vague job title.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

That's it, that's what I do.
my job title depends on the client you ask.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

is it secretarial in nature?
I'm not taking the piss, I just don't know what it means.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

No.
You know project management? Operations management? Mix them up, add a bit of shit that's far too senior for me to do and you'll be approaching it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

I know project management, but operations management, I've no idea what that means.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

The physical stuff. Managing printing, mailouts, the physical running of the projects.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

Ah, gotcha.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Dont resign
there is a recession on.

At least you're only miserable for about 8 hours a day, with no money you will be miserable for 24 hours a day.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

I'm trying not to, Goaty
but they're being fuckers.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Maybe she just didn't get any morning sickness or the like.
Bear in mind unborn babies are very very small for the first little while.

As in, teeny weeny at month 3.
( Bats, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

Holy shit, that person has a xenomorph growing in them

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Take off and nuke the whole damn site from orbit.

(thediscokingpin, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

NARY A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT ONE OF YOU BLOODTHIRSTY FUCKERS SUGGESTING THAT.
www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=nuke+orbit

OH, INTERNET.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

We just want the world to end

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

But it is the only way to be sure

(thediscokingpin, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

I know, I was just being grumpy
Because I have massive ladypart grump each month!
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

What's the current rule on 'Pics or GTFO'?

( Bats, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

I suggest "pics or GTFO"
with a side order of calling cr3.

PAUL! is this one Bou, again?

EDIT - it looks like it's not. ah, well.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant
whats the latest you can have an abortion?
( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

Half past four.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Shit, only 39 minutes, gotta hurry
*runs off to Gin & Coat Hangers 'R Us*
( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

24 weeks?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

if you're a fatty you can go for a while and not notice, to be honest.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

She's got one in her womb?
How the hell did that get in there?
( Theoban What of it, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

i assume she is a fat chick and her periods are hit an miss due to obesity
fuck all
( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

This can also happen to skinny chicks.
If they've had anorexia related issues.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

So we've concluded she's either a porker or a mental

( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

She could be a mental porker, to be fair.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

this is correct, they also get very hairy and turn into lesbians in my experiance

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Any of the video evidence I've seen regarding lesbians suggests that their bodies are clean shaving.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Or women that haven't had a baby or been pregnant yet
some are really irregular until they've had a bairn.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Women, eh?
If it's not one thing it's the other.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

I know, right?
Essentially we're just padded occasional storage bays.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

To be fair, some of ye can also cook.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I can, but that's to be expected.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

which womb?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

I am posting from a womb

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

My new wifi card arrived.
and it only took 5 minutes to set up with debian.

This surprised me because usually wifi and linux is a massive pain in the cunt.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

tell me more

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

ok
apt-get install ralink-firmware network-manager
modprobe wifi0
ifup wifi0

that's it, it then burst into life.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)