Hello, internet.
Have you been injured on the road, at work, or after a trip or fall anywhere? Have you considered squeezing someone for money after your own stupidity?

Or answer your own question. Whatever.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

I was going to go in for compo after I got assaulted
but it was all a lot of kerfuffle just to get a couple of hundred quid to replace my specs.

Also: bloody hell, Threadless take a long time to approve submissions.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

Yes it is a diving watch and it's pressurised to 5 atmospheres.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

I have a G-shock watch somewhere that can hold a database of up to eight phone numbers

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

people with G-Shocks apparently don't have many friends

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

I had my home phone number and my gran's phone number in it :(

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

in fairness... I've had watches like those with totally pointless features...

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

I never understood that stuff.
Surely 80% of the cases they get must be completely unworkable? How can you get X amount of quid off a company just because the floor was wet and you fell?
( Bats, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Liability insurance, isn't it? Or something like that.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

That was my understanding.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

it's to do with loss-of-earnings, as well as physician bills etc...
and, of course, the MENTAL ANGUISH of having to watch Jeremy Kyle every afternoon
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

I had some mental anguish yesterday afternoon.
Jezza and Maury. It was proper HELLISH.

Also, in other news, HUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

how was Take That...
and what was your preparations?
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

They were amazing, hubare.
It pissed it down and I got utterly soaked to the skin but I'd do it again. It was just a spectacle. And I got to see Howard and scream at him for a bit. And I did a bit of a cry when they sang Rule The World at the end.

43 Blue Stars out of 44.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

COR!
WET T-SHIRT!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

And bra
and knickers. And feet. I was fucking drenched.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

*swoon*
*fires up twin-turbo-pander engine*

EDIT: I've heard from friends of the lady-persuasion that it was very very good...

the gig... not your wetness... although I'm sure that got a lot of attention
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

when I shriek and scream and cry at girls I would like to touch, it doesn't go down well

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

I'd never sue for something like slipping over. I couldn't do it.
I did claim when someone drove into me though. It took just over 5 years though, and that ended with an out of court settlement. If I'd pushed on with it, it'd likely still be going on.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

A few years ago my mother was involved in an accident whereby
a family in VW Polo lightly tapped her car. Her car got a dented wing, and the polo got a scrape in it's rear wing. Everyone got out, the Polo driver slapped his head and said as much as 'I didnt see you, it was us changing direction on the roundabout. Never mind we'll get the insurances sorted out and at least no one is hurt'. Hands were shook, apologies made and everyone drove off.

Three weeks later a lawyers letter arrived stating that all three occupants were now incapable of work and what was she going to do about it? The injuries reported were: Severe head trauma for the bloke, whiplash that required immediate medical attention for the wife and inducement of debilitating panic attatcks for the daughter that led to her resigning from work.

My, how we laughed. We laughed even harder when we drove to their house and they were in the garden playing happily with a child, and bouncing about on a trampoline.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

then you murdered them?

( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

When i re-post this on the appropriate QOTW I will have, yes.

(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

Don't leave us hanging!
How did it end?
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

I'm hoping they got BEATEN UP for fraud.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

As they had never met me before I went to their wall and asked them for local directions to get a feel for them, just in case.
Then we took a few photos on the trampoline and sent them to her insurance company for them to issue a rebuttal.
Never heard a peep after that from anyone.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

my mu got real whiplash once when someone drove into the back of her car,
it didn't stop her going to work, mind.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

real whiplash is bad news.
Fake whiplash is far more managable.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

What's really fun is if you initially dismiss it as just a stiff neck.
Then you can enjoy fucked up discs later on and for the rest of your life.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

I would like to think it's widley enough known nowadays that people would think about it.
In days gone by i've heard many stories like that, though.
Mostly from people who didn't have properly adjusted headrests. People seem to think they are just there to piss you off when reversing.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

Mine was a side impact, so the head rest didn't do much.
The relatively minor soft tissue damage led to muscle tension, which eventually dehydrated 4 discs, 2 of which prolapsed.

Definitely should have got that stiff neck seen to sooner :-(
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

I fell down some steps once, broke my ankle
That was fun

Also fell on a railing when trying to climb over. Got a scar on my arse now.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

I have a scar on my arse too.
*Arse scar FIVES*
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Two inches to the left and I would've been violently sodomised by an iron railing
Lucky escape, maybe.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

Mine's just from dull old meningococcus septacaemia
*yawn*
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Oh man that's Latin and everything
That's not unexciting! FANCY TERMS AHOY
( Theoban What of it, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

ingococcus septacaemia
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Ha ha ha ha.
Well done, you bittersweet bundle of misery.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

That's because I'm lovely
and not at all a fat ranting shouty Irish ginger dwarf.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Arf

( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Robots
BBBBZZZZZZZZZT
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Yes, I'm an inconsiderate cunt
For wanting to claim for the 18 months loss of earnings following a serious RTC caused by a wanker that was speeding on the wrong side of the road.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

you utter utter utter twat

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

I know, right?
Permanent spinal damage is a small price to pay for a little bit of "quick" cash.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Ouch!

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

or, unless, it was some else's stupidity which caused your incapacitation

(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

I fell onto the bonnet of a passing car the day before yesterday
/trufax
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

"fell"
from, where, the sky?

EDIT: Con-Air flashback
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

Off of the pavement
Thankfully the car was undamaged.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Bugger me, are you ok?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

A bit bruised but thankfully the car was going at a crawl.
Poor lady driving it was very shocked though.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

Glad you're both ok though...
I bet you were really shook up, I'd have been.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

I have sadly become quite used to falling
although I don't usually land on cars.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

I fall quite a lot
I tend to land on people or the floor.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

I'm tempted to buy one of those comedy padded sumo suits
shall we get one each and go shopping together?
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

:D that sounds fun

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

she is but the car's a write off
no offence
( mongychops, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

Because I'm huge?
Too right!
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

I just cut my hand while cutting up some boxes

( magnum, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

Sue the company that made the boxes.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

It was much like this in sound
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qXw9EZskO4&feature=related
( magnum, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

i tripped and fell on to a mans erect penis whilst looking at wildlife on hamsted heath, i now have herpes yet am entiteld to no money other than the 50 pounds he gave me
life can be cruel
( mongychops, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

I'm always bumping into something
I dropped my bike doing a u-turn last night and snapped the front brake lever off. I'm not terribly graceful.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Ooops, is it easy to replace?

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

yeah
I ordered the part and will fit it when it arrives. Easy peasy.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Despite the low power of the engine I just bought
a compression test shows that it's NOT completely fucked. I almost smiled.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

Erm, congrats!

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

It cheered me up
it narrowed the problem down to only seven other areas.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

This is always good news.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Yeah, but I did notice a fuel leak
which is a bit whiffy
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

What sort of difference are you seeing on the cylinders?

(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

I fell into a ditch and broke my nose, and still have a nice scar on my face from it.
I blame my own stupidity and a large amount of alcohol.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

I´ve just found out it´s a holiday here
on the only day this week I´ve bothered coming into work.
( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Corpus Christi, innit
*lounges*
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Feria de San Bernabe apparantly
the police are trying to close the road off outside, I assume there is going to be a procession, exciting times
( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Wank like a chimp on the boss' chair.
And try and jizz a smiley face.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Thing is, my boss is a mate
I might just crack one off out the window onto the policemen below
( broadsword, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

I'm currently in the process of explosion

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

yes. Yesterday.
I use a wheelchair, I was attempting to wheel myself through a door which my friend was holding open for me.

Some FUCKWIT came up behind me and grabbed my chair. Which meant that first the wheels wouldn't move when I pushed at them, and then I was holding onto the wheelrims when the guy pushed the chair forwards so my arms and shoulders got jerked.

He seemed affronted by my yell of pain.

Today my hands hurt and my arms hurt and my shoulders are utterly fucked. Grr.
( Batsgirl, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Fucking hell. Why do some people do that?
Sure, open a door or whatever, but is it not obvious that just grabbing the chair uninvited is just rude?
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

possibly because it's quite unsettling
when a stranger suddenly grabs you and moves you about in a way that causes you pain... so where I probably *should* have explained "mate, I know you're only trying to be helpful, but you should always ask first" I was instead going "SHIT!! Get off!"
( Batsgirl, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

Reminds me of a story of one of Spacefish's mates,
he was in a club and turned round and thought he'd knocked a girl over, so he went and "helped her up", only for her to start screaming for him to put her down. It was then he realised she'd got no legs.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

pfft, that is bad luck.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

I always ask the OAP guy that regularly has a dead battery in his electric one. He lives up a hill.
Every time I ask, he still hasn't had the battery replaced. He's such a mong...
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

Its an awkward one. He probably thought he was doing a good turn.
Retractable spikes in the handles is the answer.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

it is indeed
the answer to so many things.
( Batsgirl, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

I'm going to sue the government for not making a job out of thin air for me.
Loss of earnings, mental anguish, head injury, it's all there.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

You should probably just go self-employed as a full time persuit.
That's what I'm going to do now, if I can manage not to put my neck out for a few weeks at a time.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

I don't know what I'd do.
I'm going to go into that interesting computer shop in town though and ask them if they've got any work. Or if I can sell my computers in their window or something.
If that doesn't work, going to have to start going to the IT professional social networking events that go on here and pretend I want a programming job.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)