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*sigh* who is this unfunny cunt?
jokes.zyanical.com/user/2010/08/31/3/David_Smith.html

edit: www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=86735
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:44, archived)
Why do we care?
And who are you? And why do we care about that either?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:45, archived)
i love you
thats why you care.
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:58, archived)
is it you?

if you knew who it was why are you asking us?
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:45, archived)
David Smith

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:45, archived)
he needs a funnier name
if he wants to be a comedian
(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:55, archived)
Might want to work on being such an unfunny cunt, too

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:59, archived)
baby steps

(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:06, archived)
a /b/ user by the looks of things, so probably a 15 year old newfag

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:46, archived)
That's you
you penis
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:47, archived)
he is on b3ta
and apparently taking jokes from /talk, and is called [L]olwakicuntPHD or something like that
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:50, archived)
Baldmonkey?
Also, who would bother stealing jokes from /talk?
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:50, archived)
Jimmy Carr and Jim Davidson
but no comedians though
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:59, archived)
jokes on here are so meme-y
that can't be funny out of context anyway? shirley?
(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:01, archived)
*points at chickens*

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:02, archived)
*rapes*

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:03, archived)
heh heh heh!
bless Balders
(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:04, archived)
teehee

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:07, archived)
ris?

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:08, archived)
heehee

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:08, archived)
This guy?
www.facebook.com/PurecarnageNG
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:51, archived)
Hang on, what, there are jokes on /talk?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:01, archived)
I saw someone post a joke about a door earlier
it was ajarring
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:03, archived)
The only joke on /talk is David Smith.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:03, archived)
Yes, your winky and Wotfooc's shriveled winky.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:06, archived)
Two Spider Riviera's in the bath
one says 'where's the soap?'
the other says 'it's right here!'
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:08, archived)
That's impossible.
You'd be depriving an alternate universe of the greatest Hollywood leading man ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:12, archived)
Ohb well

(I helped save b3ta! Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:02, archived)
Grrr Machine just called my dad a bin man
He wasn't that but at least he wasn't a PIG!
(I helped save b3ta! Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:03, archived)
Was he dolescum?
Are you dolescum? I bet you are.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:05, archived)
Graduate proffesional
Actually
(I helped save b3ta! Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:06, archived)
Ffuck off

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:09, archived)
You answer the phones in a call centre?

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:09, archived)
We're all graduate professionals on the internet,
actually.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:10, archived)
so someone who wasted three years of their life getting a certificate they couldn't make use of productively

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:10, archived)
it's touching that you would get upset at my father spending half his working life protecting others
thanks for your support.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:08, archived)
Protecting?
Protecting thier own interest and rubbing their big hard egos don't you mean?
(I helped save b3ta! Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:11, archived)
aren't you confusing the police with people who work in offices?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:14, archived)
or banks?
or farmers? or teachers? or anyone else who works for money?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:16, archived)
Yeah, you stick it to The Man.
You fucking idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:14, archived)
Oh man
you so rebel.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:09, archived)
Sons of Pig-Scum Policemen
Almost always turn into wankers!
Its a medical fact!
(I helped save b3ta! Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:09, archived)
what if they're not policemen when you're born?
or if they're policemen but not pig scum?
or if you weren't raised in an environment of petty frustrated outpourings against the nearest figures of authority in an attempt to masquerade your own angst at the misery of your social position?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:12, archived)
Christ you're duller than ever

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:15, archived)
I'm not sure the internet can handle this amount of irony

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:17, archived)
I keep on forgetting who is from Wales, you or SSG

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:19, archived)
Really? Great.
I thought you had gone to die in bed.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:21, archived)
shit Adam, tell me about something the Americans have that you like
that would be fascinating.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:18, archived)
Seriously, the more I think about it the more I feel that America is a better place to live in
until you get ill or shot. Or ill and shot.
I've always wanted to go to uni there too
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:22, archived)
Woo hoo hoo.
Somebody's got a crush.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:19, archived)
How wrong you are
My dad wasn't a graduate but (not that there's anything wrong with it) he wasn't a bin man. I took offence at your preconceptions and without going into specifics my job - in the service of people like you and people who deserve it more than you - there is a good chance that my work will kill me. So fuck you and your sanctimonius scumbag copper affiliates! Fuck you hard!
(I helped save b3ta! Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:19, archived)
I never knew filing, making the tea and cleaning up after everyone could be so dangerous.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:20, archived)
If thats likely to give you cancer
Then thats clearly gonna be my next job cos there's much less health and safety issues and lots less paperwork
(I helped save b3ta! Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:23, archived)
Here's hoping death comes quickly.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:21, archived)
People like me?
I live in Poland, for fuck's sake. There's not a single fucking thing about your life that could affect me in the slightest. Get off your high horse, stop getting upset about that time a rozzer caught you smoking grass with your council estate mates behind the bike sheds, and accept that your social position renders you utterly invisible and meaningless in the grand scheme of anything at all ever. Then you'll be calmer, and not worked up about bin man jibes, you Daddy's Little Boy. I bet his first name is your middle name.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:22, archived)
Fuck

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:26, archived)
Hahaha!
How wrong you are...seriously!
But coppers are generally utter CUNTS! I think most people would agree
(I helped save b3ta! Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:29, archived)
most people wouldn't.
Most idiots would.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:31, archived)
Is your job being a wide eyed loner on the edge of oblivion?

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:23, archived)
David Smith?

(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:49, archived)
http://www.b3ta.com/talk/6958368
and for the lazy - www.b3ta.com/talk/6958368
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:50, archived)
A misogynist
with a poor grasp of syntax and under-developed sense of humour.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:50, archived)
We could sure use another one of those around here.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:52, archived)
I H8 BRESTS
LOL!!!
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:54, archived)
I don't know. I don't care.
I'm in BASTARD PAIN. Fuck you, fuck your mum and fuck the horse she fucked last week whilst sucking off Sexface.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:51, archived)
blah blah blah
period blah blah
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:52, archived)
Nope. Sorry to disappoint you, but it isn't that.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:54, archived)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
*applies copious amounts of gin*

What's the matter darling?
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:53, archived)
The usual.
I'll skip the gin and down more oxycodone please.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:54, archived)
*creates magic oxycodone gin*
Love to you aceface.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:56, archived)
poor Wicca
*rubs ointment*
*administers hugs and lolmassivepaindrugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:57, archived)
The mefenamic acid tablets genuinely ARE massive drugs.
I keep meaning to photograph them for this week's QOTW.

I don't understand how I can still feel all this pain through the oxycodone though. It's like I'm bloody immune :(
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:02, archived)
oh oh! i have them too!
my friend (who now doesn't have a womb) gave me hers (bad i know but nothing NOTHING cut through the 3 weeks of pain i have every month)
(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:05, archived)
Why did your friend give you her womb?

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:09, archived)
She bought a nicer one in topshop and didn't want to just throw it away.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:14, archived)
I think it was a sequinned fanny from the Wimbledon branch on a two for one offer
They love a bit of womb bling free around there
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:34, archived)
kinky

(Mr Big Stuff, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:53, archived)
Sorry to hear you're in pain
Hope it's something that gets better soon.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:55, archived)
^^

(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:56, archived)
this ^

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:56, archived)
well I hope it gets better sooner

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:58, archived)
I hope it wasn't even bad in the first place

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:00, archived)
I hoped you would get it instead

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:05, archived)
I hoped you would get it sooner

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:11, archived)
Glued Eel - Giving 110% since 1996.
LEARN FROM HIM.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:00, archived)
I hope it gets best soonest

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:00, archived)
i hope it falls off

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:03, archived)
Try lube next time
dahling
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:59, archived)
Lube? Only amateurs need lube. Dahling.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:03, archived)
i make my own lube

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:04, archived)
Try this
www.physique.co.uk/large_catalogue_images/skin_lube_65g.jpg
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:09, archived)
i hope it really hurts
then you will maybe understand
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:03, archived)
my brain imploded some time last night
and i think i saw god except there is no god.
things are confusing.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:03, archived)
Maybe you saw an archetype and confused it with the real imaginary beardy wizard?

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:04, archived)
i mean, not that i saw a thing as such,
things sped up for a while and i guess
they haven't fully slowed down, or they have and i can't tell, but
at the top end, as things are whirling around and as it gets harder to grab on to any single one, you start to see between them and what else could that be but a god? does that make sense?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:07, archived)
was you in the matrix?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:10, archived)

the matrix Tron
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:11, archived)
A bit.
I'm absolutely battered though.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:16, archived)
Hope you're better soon

(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:05, archived)
YOU.
We're going to make some time to visit you very soon, and I was going to see if you fancied a trip up to see INRBM? I've been looking at trains, and it's only 2 1/2 hours away...
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:17, archived)
Did the guy who smacked you go to jail yet btw?

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:12, archived)
He's out on conditional bail at the moment.
Sentencing is on the 28th September.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:18, archived)
Celebratory lynch mob?
The more I think about it, the more I really don't want to be practising the kind of law where I'd have to defend fuckbags like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:25, archived)
Christ
that kid should spend a year in Siberia with no internet. I keep meeting these young 4chan types in pubs recently. fucking scary shit.
(Mr Big Stuff, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:59, archived)
Stop drinking at "The Aching Wrist"
Silly
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:01, archived)