b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Message 7342801

"I turned around and the hot dog was in the air," Woods said after signing off with a three-under-par 68. "I guess he wanted to be in the news."
If you could throw an object at a sporting celebrity that was unlikely to do them any harm, who would it be and what object would you use?

Alt: What's for LUNCH.

edit: sporting
seems to be the way this is going
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:21, archived)
I'd throw a salad at Chris Moyles, hopefully he'd take the hint
And kill himself.

Alt: Whatever I can grab in 5 minutes
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:21, archived)
I imagine he's quite good at dodging those.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:23, archived)
*applause*

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:26, archived)
I'd throw a duckling at Chris Evans

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:22, archived)
that's just QUACKERS

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:23, archived)
LOLQUAKI!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:24, archived)
ROFQ

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:27, archived)
ha, nice

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:27, archived)
ROFQMFO

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:44, archived)
QOL

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:57, archived)
O< - QOL!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:59, archived)
HUZZAH!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)
what's his sport,
marathon twatting about?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:25, archived)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:26, archived)
The 200m pay other people to laugh at my jokes

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:30, archived)
I'd throw a pineapple at Jason Lee for some mid-90s football related lols

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:25, archived)
THEN HE REALLY WOULD HAVE A PINEAPPLE ON HIS HEAD
LOL
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:26, archived)
STATTO STATTO STATTO

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:48, archived)
*drags pheonix from the flames*

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:07, archived)
The main reason we played that clip
Is because you can see Graham Kelly's pants.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:13, archived)
Fuck you fatty
I'm off to the docs to get another 2 week line.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:28, archived)
You big SILLY
docs appointment is tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:57, archived)
It's not lunchtime yet but I've eaten my lunch

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:31, archived)
classic mistake here MONO!
I've told you before, bring a distraction lunch into work as well.

OR

Make twice as much lunch.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:59, archived)
I'm off to Asda to buy DVDs I might buy more lunch.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)
you win this round MONO!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:05, archived)
I like the idea of distraction lunch

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:09, archived)
For example:
Ham sandwich, quavers and aero

PLUS

Large scotch egg/medium pork pie, pack of chipsticks.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:12, archived)
Yes, I see
I intend to give this some serious thought
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:15, archived)
It's the only way TH, the ONLY way.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:20, archived)
Assuming you're a fat useless shit.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:22, archived)
Which I am

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:23, archived)
*useless fat fives*
*misses*
*wheezes*
*puffs inhaler*
*eats another pie*
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:24, archived)
*rest eyes*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:27, archived)
You assume correct MONO!
we recognise our own kind, don't we?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:23, archived)
I just follow the crumbs

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:27, archived)
I often find myself floating, eyes closed, drooling a bit until I end up at a windowsill with a pie cooling on it.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:30, archived)
Gotta love a pie with fat-guy-levitation qualities

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:34, archived)
Not many folks past the 30's can really achieve it.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:35, archived)
Steve Cram, a tin of Spam

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:32, archived)
The name Steve Cram always used to make me think of crab paste.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:33, archived)
Whatever for?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:41, archived)
sandwiches.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:43, archived)
oh... i say... very good!

(likeajackhammer, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:45, archived)
How does it smell?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:46, archived)
crabby

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:46, archived)
ooooh matron!
*gurns*
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:14, archived)
Seb Coe, a garden hoe

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:33, archived)
Zola Budd, a handful of mud

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:34, archived)
lennox lewis, a packet of chewits

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:36, archived)
Frank Bruno, a box of Uno

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:38, archived)
Mike Tyson,
an upright Dyson
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:39, archived)
Ruud Gullit, a red mullet

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:43, archived)
Prince Naseem, a deep sea bream

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:44, archived)
Sally Gunnell, kitchen funnel

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:40, archived)
Mike Tyson, a novel by Bill Bryson

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:39, archived)
Geoff Capes
a shrewdness of apes
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:43, archived)
John Parrot, a parrot

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:45, archived)
roger black, apple mac

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:47, archived)
Steve Davis, myasthenia gravis

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:48, archived)
Willie Thorn
questionable porn
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:49, archived)
Peter Shilton
a large piece of stilton
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:51, archived)
John Barnes, keema nahn's

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:53, archived)
Norman St John-Stevas
Bag of Maltesers

CLIVE
HIVE
DIVE

/talk needs moar good Harry Hill.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:07, archived)
Rocket Surgeon
large sturgeon
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:08, archived)
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Harry_Hill
I think dogs should only be allowed to eat food that rhymes with their names. Under this system Poodles would only be able to eat noodles or strudel. But if you think about it that is the only dog which rhymes with a food so that's probably why the system isn't in effect. No, stop trying to think of a dog which rhymes with a food there isn't one. Stop it!
(later)
Quiche Lorraine, Great Dane. No, I won't accept it.
(later)
Labrador, lobster thermidor. OK, I'll accept that one.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:09, archived)
pfft "sinjin"
St John!
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:09, archived)
oh of course!
thank you! couldn't find it on youtube.

you DO have your uses. got any pea cosies?
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:13, archived)
you utter utter FAIL

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:15, archived)
I bet you think Choldmondleigh-Featherstonehaugh
is spelt "Chumley-Fanshaw".
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:15, archived)
Pfft "Stevens"
Stevas!

no, I don't. no idea what you're referencing there. Unless it's Mr Cholmondley-Warner from that Harry Enfield. In which case - WOMAN! KNOW YOUR LIMITS
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:17, archived)
how would you ask for directions to Woolfardisworthy?
they have to write "(Woolsery)" on the signs for people like you.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:21, archived)
I'd stop here if I were you. You've done enough today.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:21, archived)
but you're not me, huh?

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:22, archived)
well observed sherlock.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:25, archived)
a citrus bearing perennial, my stag like television guide.

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:27, archived)
always know boundaries.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:29, archived)
Don't panic Mr.Mannering!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:17, archived)
haha fuck

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:18, archived)
:)

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:19, archived)

00:14:01,791
Dash, there I go calling you Main-waring.
You call it Mainwaring, don't you?

209
00:14:01,958 -- 00:14:06,509
I knew a chap out in India, called himself
Chumley, spelt his name Cholmondeley.

210
00:14:06,678 -- 00:14:08,396
Absolute idiot.

211
00:14:12,398 -- 00:14:15,151
We used to call him Chilli Mushrooms.

212
00:14:15,318 -- 00:14:17,309
Chilli Mush...!

213
00:14:17,478 -- 00:14:19,673
How frightfully amusing!

214
00:14:19,838 -- 00:14:22,033
Terribly clever. Chilli Mushrooms.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:21, archived)
What in the blue hell is this?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:22, archived)
subtitles.
might come in handy one day.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:25, archived)
you mean submarinetightelles

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:26, archived)
I'm scared TH.
HOLD ME.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:26, archived)
I always loved the bit where he goes down the hill in the bath tub!
and when he falls through the open bar! "Nice and cool, Trigger, Nice and cool""!!! ROTFQMFO
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:25, archived)
AKB!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:16, archived)
Linford Christie: a stick

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:33, archived)
because you think black people are no better than dogs?
shame on you, mgt.
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:44, archived)
I didn't think that.
Shame on you.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:45, archived)
shame on, you crazy diamond

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:47, archived)
If you can't dance too.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:49, archived)
Apparently I'm awesome at dancing when I'm completely smashed,
shame I don't remember it
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:50, archived)
Inhibitions to the wind, and all that

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:51, archived)
I've got no inhibitions when it comes to wind.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:53, archived)
do you stand naked in storms and scream obscenities?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:06, archived)

awesome hilarious
I suspect your friends are being kind/laughing at you
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:54, archived)
the distinction between awesome and hilarious is not one that I recognise.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:55, archived)
Ah well, don't worry about it then

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:57, archived)
some of my best friends are black, Manolith
*smugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:46, archived)
are you johnny?
www.blackpeopleloveus.com/
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:48, archived)
In many ways, Yes
but in the most important way (actually NOT being him), no.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:49, archived)
I'd throw the crushed dreams of the disaffected masses at david cameron

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:35, archived)
anyone who seriously thought he would be magical Mr Fix-It
only has himself to blame.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:37, archived)

r he tar d c
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:48, archived)
this is the most pragmatic form of protest I have ever heard of

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:50, archived)
I would throw a one-month early contract upgrade taking up the "O2 Internet Saver 200" with a "HTC Titan", and I'ld throw it to myself gently.
No, wait, I'd throw a 1kg solid gold bullion brick, again, gently, so I could catch it.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:51, archived)
you're neither sporting, nor a celebrity
stop cheating, gonz
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:52, archived)
this is really rather cunning,
but what sport would you take up first? There's no doubt at least that you are a personality.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:53, archived)
I'd throw myself at the feet of Sophie Ellis Bextor

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:52, archived)
FOBTQOTW

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:58, archived)
Fall over backwards, then quack over Terry Wogan?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:01, archived)
five orphan bolivians, transported quickly over to wigan?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)
Fire occurs because tinder quickly oxidises then WHOOMP!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:08, archived)
fallen objects bounce twice quixotically, often trouncing wimps.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:11, archived)
Fart once, burp twice, quietly open the window

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:13, archived)
flew over the Tardis quickly, often turning west.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:19, archived)
blah di blah blah blah chevron.

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:14, archived)
+one out

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)
naturellement

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:14, archived)
QMFAO

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:03, archived)
Football only brings the quiet ones to work?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)
I'd throw a wasp at Sepp Blatter
The impact wouldn't harm him but there's a chance it might sting him, and with any luck he would be allergic to wasp stings and go into anaphylactic shock.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:15, archived)
I'd throw a bladder at him.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:22, archived)
or a step ladder

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:26, archived)
not your real ladder?

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:27, archived)
Hello Muddah.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:33, archived)