If this was your last day alive
what would you do?
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:07, archived)

Don't do it man

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:07, archived)

cheers
but it's pretty much set in stone at this point.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:14, archived)

Have you talked to anyone apart from /talk about this?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:18, archived)

A doctor might be a good place to start

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:22, archived)

what about Dr. Imble?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:23, archived)

I'm really more of a doctor of journalism.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:42, archived)

shipman?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:24, archived)

You think a good bum-fingering would sort him out?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:27, archived)

It seems to cheer some people up

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:27, archived)

Not me obviously

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:27, archived)

Snuggles?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:27, archived)

I got locked in an institution for my last attempt
came so close to getting smashed by a train that it hit my foot as I jumped out of the way. Talk about the nick of time.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:44, archived)

do you mean you went to a psych ward on a section for a bit?
it's not really like one flew over the cuckoo's nest, it it now?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:51, archived)

nah it was just boring

( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:53, archived)

so how long were you 'locked' in this 'institution' then?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:56, archived)

28 days

( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 14:00, archived)

Did you come out with half your hair shaved off?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 14:10, archived)

No I came out with the same melancholic despair I went in with

( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 14:27, archived)

i'd live for a few more decades

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:10, archived)

die,
obviously. duh
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:10, archived)

well that's a given
I was meaning something to do before the grand finale.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:14, archived)

a fat lady has to sing first

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:18, archived)

she already sang
her soft, enchanting voice lured me to my doom.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:25, archived)

go up the juicer

( mongychops, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:11, archived)

probably go home

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:11, archived)

I'm already home

( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:15, archived)

put the bins out

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:16, archived)

I have communal bins
they're always out
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:17, archived)

I thought you were asking us what we'd do,
so it turns out it's all about you, is it?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:19, archived)

I was hoping for suggestions
All I'm doing right now is chain smoking and drinking loads of coffee.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:20, archived)

What sort of physical condition are you in and do you have access to a woman?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:26, archived)

Tip top physical condition
and no, not a single woman. My mum doesn't count.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:28, archived)

K you should totally find some whores and have the filthiest possible sex with them

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:30, archived)

According to something on the news the other day
they're only £20 in the midlands and you can pretend you were buying tomatoes when you are arrested.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:31, archived)

I dread to think what the tomatoes were really for.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:32, archived)

Nah
for one I don't know where to find any, and for two I'm not a fan of prostitution. Wouldn't really do anything for me.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:32, archived)

Wait what the fuck how come you're dying then? I mean I'm no doctor but don't you have to have something wrong with you to be dying?
Wait, it turns out I AM a doctor and I still reckon you need to have something wrong with you to be dying.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:31, archived)

Depression
Hopelessness, loneliness, regret, failure.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:33, archived)

Oh. Ok well don't kill yourself, go and see your doctor, explain how you're feeling and see what they can do for you.
Rather than telling an internet forum full of people who will probably think it's funny to tell you to kill yourself.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:36, archived)

Wait so is the question what would we do if he was about to die which he apparently is or what we would do if were were going to die but we were him?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:20, archived)

the latter

( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:29, archived)

gaz rob and tell him what icon you'd like us to have

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:19, archived)

Giving the place a quick tidy too
Don't want to leave the place a shithole
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:16, archived)

Wait are you serious?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:18, archived)

deadly serious

( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:26, archived)

how are you doing it?

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:30, archived)

formic acid + sulphuric acid
produces deadly amounts of carbon monoxide.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:34, archived)

i hope so, this constant needy beakering got tiresome ages ago

( mongychops, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:34, archived)

makes me look mentally stable.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:43, archived)

Let's not go mad here

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:46, archived)

pffft.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:50, archived)

Sometimes the most sane response to life is to off yourself
The romans actually had a system where you could apply to end your life and if approved they would grant you the necessary toxins to do so.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:47, archived)

Then I'd write a will and put the bins out. I think you're allowed to put them out early if you're gonna die.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:16, archived)

Wouldn't really have much to say in it
"give my things to a charity shop" maybe
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:19, archived)

Regret my entire life, and wish I could start over

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:19, archived)

haha not really, can you imagine?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:20, archived)

See, when they say you should live every day as though it is your last, they don't really consider how depressing that could be

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:21, archived)

It'd be horrible
Knowing that this is it...that everything you've experienced and achieved has been for nought. Fuck that...you're better off not knowing.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:22, archived)

This happens on a daily basis
which is why I'm about to gas myself.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:30, archived)

Gas? In what way? The oven?
That could hurt other people.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:30, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7671369
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:35, archived)

oven gas doesn't kill you unless it displaces all the oxygen and you suffocate
I've done my homework on this one.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:35, archived)

I'd shit, shit, shit
and shit some more.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:19, archived)

But would you use the toilets at work?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:22, archived)

Hey, this is serious! Unless he's just talking about internet dying like baldmonkey did every other week

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:22, archived)

He has been talking about it for a while, but then someone made me feel bad when I treated him like an annoying attention-seeker.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:24, archived)

It's not your fault

( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:30, archived)

I know

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:40, archived)

True
dunno why I said that
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:46, archived)

A charity parachute jump.
Then it wouldn't matter too much if I was the one that ended up with the faulty chute.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:21, archived)

I have a faulty chute
and still applying the cream
( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:25, archived)

This has always been my ideal way to go
but I'm too skint for the likes of that.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:27, archived)

FFS if you're going to top yourself you might as well get a Wonga payday loan eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:34, archived)

take loads of whizz and go to a roller disco

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:22, archived)

not really, I'd break into your house and torture you and your family

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:22, archived)

KILL!!!
My list is prepared
( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:23, archived)

JUMP, JUMP, JUMP

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:23, archived)

Good thinking!
The upbeat pop-rap stylings of Kriss Kross are sure to change shitshitshit's mind about hanging himself in the garage.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:26, archived)

Now I feel suicidal :(

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:32, archived)

\o/
stand aside Samaritans, there’s a new sheriff in town
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:32, archived)

I'd hack my bollocks off and wear them like a pair of hairy specs

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:25, archived)

DEFINITLEY
Stick my suicide note on an internet message board?!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:26, archived)

I'd post a grainy photocopy of my gaping anus to 'Duncan' from pop sensations 'Blue'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:29, archived)

That's your answer to everything, Boyce.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:31, archived)

He said 'last day on earth', not Christmas 2001

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:31, archived)

probably have a massive wank
and a bit of a cry
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:29, archived)

Presumably you've considered all the options
Is this actually the only one? Seems a little lazy to be honest. Nothing's completely unfixable. Also, suicide seems like the best way to be completely forgotten. But then, I'm judging it by my own standards, which I guess you shouldn't really do.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:30, archived)

I did try to sort my life out
I gave up drinking, smoking, ate healthy, excercised. To no avail.
( shitshitshitshit x_x, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:38, archived)

Perhaps you went in the wrong direction?
Maybe if you had increased your drinking, smoking, unhealthy eating and laziness you would've felt better by now
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:41, archived)

or if not better then at least drunk
fat and wheezy...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:43, archived)

That 'Lemmy' fellow always seems pretty upbeat.
Hmmm...I think you might be onto something here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:45, archived)

Call the Samaritans you fucking beaker.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:31, archived)

this is real puma

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:31, archived)

I'd play some Judas Priest records backwards

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:31, archived)

ROCKIN' MIDNIGHT AFTER LIVING

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:45, archived)