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Stoopid n00b questions
1) Is it considered bad form to post more than one entry into a compo?
2) Would the cover of the Pixies Surfa Rosa count as NSFW? I mean the difference between porn and art is that art is in black and white.

Thanks
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 19:06, archived)
You'd best send a PM to mongychops, he knows about that sort of thing.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 19:40, archived)
I do, it's my shackle

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 20:12, archived)
a) this website is so dead no one gives a subatomic shit
b) NSFW isn't a cultural stance, you pillock. It's a warning for the viewer that stuff might display on screen that one's colleagues/bosses woukd ask difficult questions about. If you haven't worked that out yet, get off the fucking Internet.
c) don't bother, your competition entriy won't win anyway.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 20:00, archived)
1) Cheers
2) Cheers
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 20:02, archived)
3) cheers

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 20:13, archived)
FAQ off!
Haha, see what I did there?
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 20:14, archived)
Well
I did read the FAQ in detail before posting. It didn't cover multiple compo entries though. In case I can be arsed to do one that's not crap.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 20:48, archived)
Just go for it champ

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 20:51, archived)
Send them all in. they can only liven the board up.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 21:02, archived)
Chill
buybenzocaineuk.co.uk
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 21:06, archived)
1) No. But a few people may start bleating if you do them all in separate threads in quick succession.
2) What Grrry said.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 21:16, archived)
Alright

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 21:33, archived)
It's not morning, it's not morning, it's not morning any more
(any more)
It's not morning any more
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 14:58, archived)
Are you sure, your watch ain't all that

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 15:14, archived)
thanks for the update
seriously, if it wasn't for you people, i'd have to look at a clock
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 15:32, archived)

l
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 17:19, archived)
20% off anything on eBay until 1800 hrs UK time.
HURRY!!!
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 17:15, archived)
Stick to TV

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 17:28, archived)
Bugger all on.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 17:35, archived)
Come on, you must be able to watch some utter shit

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 17:45, archived)
There's only been 2 things on this christmas worth watching
1 The League Of Gentlemen
2 Oasis: Supersonic
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 18:39, archived)
Morning, isn't it?

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 8:05, archived)
Alright yeti, who are all these weirdo cluttering up the place

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 8:19, archived)
Alright mongy.
I've got no idea, m8'tt. A bunch of them just cropped up overnight and seemed to think they'd been here before. It's like a Shambles DDoS attack.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 8:22, archived)
Hi

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 8:28, archived)
One from the top row, two from the middle row and three from the bottom, please.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 8:37, archived)
Fuck off mate

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 9:54, archived)
Robust bit of Christmas aggression there m'hat'e.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 10:07, archived)
Piggers.
Hope you and your lovely Mrs had a Merry Xmas? Back at work? I am unfortunately.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 11:39, archived)
yo momma so old she took her driver's license on a dinosaur
hahaha, classic Ludacris. they got hoes in different area codes.

morning
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 8:31, archived)
You have to take pity on the man, though; he can't even spell.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 8:40, archived)
Morning

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 8:44, archived)
30% off all orders of Turkish delight if you bring a live ferret to the shop.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 9:06, archived)
Puked myself hollow, last night.
Not taking full advantage of this buffet breakfast, this morning.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 9:07, archived)
Get all those Yuletide toxins out in one go, that's the spirit.
My body's been telling me to take it easy as well - I had vegetable soup for dinner last night and that was it.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 9:10, archived)
1.5 pints of beer, yesterday, so I'm hoping it was something I ate.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 9:18, archived)
Here's hoping.
Because, you know, otherwise that would make you some kind of giant WUSS or something.
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 9:37, archived)
If I'm lucky, it might be norovirus!

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 10:15, archived)
It's what all the 'in' people are getting this season.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 10:22, archived)
morn
ing
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 9:15, archived)
The suspense was killing me for a moment there.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 9:23, archived)
Aye looks like it
Morning all
(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 11:13, archived)
I believe so

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 11:38, archived)
#prayforkabul

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 12:32, archived)
May Allah destroy all the enimies of lslam. True Muslim never want to Kell an animal how come a human.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 12:33, archived)
I've lost my prayer fork.

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 12:41, archived)
Happy Easter jebends

(, Thu 28 Dec 2017, 0:49, archived)
Happy Holidays from the bottom of my heart to the tip of my benis.
Now let's have your best chavish insults to use on my friends and co-workers in America.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 22:53, archived)
No.

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 22:54, archived)
please be more specific
north america? central? south? latin?
vespuccica would've been much more fun name for a country tbh.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 23:10, archived)
"Ahhh-mahhhr-eee-caaah"
Sry... it must be my American accent.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 23:28, archived)
Just scored a SNES mini for 80 quid!

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 20:57, archived)
Retro gaming is 90% pure shite.

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 20:59, archived)
Old games are mostly absolute wank

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 21:12, archived)
Yes, but Nintendo made fantastic games back then.

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 21:22, archived)
squid are tasty

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 22:19, archived)
Yes. Yes they are.

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 22:25, archived)
But you could have spent that 80 quid on something worthwhile

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 22:37, archived)
isn't that the rrp?

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 22:45, archived)
+f

Poooeeee mano dun a guff
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 22:48, archived)
bloody sprouts

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 23:37, archived)
Dunno.
Sold out really quickly though.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 22:54, archived)
I was just thinking
about the time I managed to write "First" on a new post at the stroke of midnight new years eve a few years ago. At the time I was most amused, not (some may think) that I had managed to be the "first" to post (although let's be fair back then that was quite the thing) but more so as I had then the marvellous opportunity to laugh at all the other posts that came after mine saying that they were "first" when indeed, as it transpired, they were not.

Such halcyon days indeed.

What do you miss about the "old days" ?

alt question - what's for supper?
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:26, archived)
Blimey. If you're lonely enough to be thinking about that, maybe you really ought to kill yourself.

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:30, archived)
I'm not lonely
I have my imaginary friends to keep me company.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:42, archived)
I'll miss this view when I move
imgur.com/gallery/4JutT

Alt: shoe and xo cognac
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:31, archived)
Nice! This is the view from my place
imgur.com/mpbYksv.jpg
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:37, archived)
That's just beautiful

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:45, archived)
Shithole here
imgur.com/a/o6qPQ
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:48, archived)
Yesss

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 18:21, archived)
really?
you could easily recreate the effect with a pile of concrete bricks and a few old CD racks in your back garden
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:40, archived)
Alright McRichard

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 19:54, archived)
Oh do fucking shut up nobody is reading all the shit you type

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:39, archived)
oh
thanks for the reply.
Made my day that the famous mongychops replied to my comment.
3 stars will post again
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:41, archived)
My collection of dancing space potatoes

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 18:08, archived)
massive drugs

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 18:46, archived)
Amoxicillin 3000's¿?¿? U nutter

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 18:58, archived)
I remember when I used to be so engaged in a thread
that I'd get quite upset when it fell off the board due to all the traffic.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 19:22, archived)
My USB bluetooth dongle must have taken a knock in transit
as it no longer works properly, which means no music tonight either. ARSE!

Apparently it's the shittest one on the market, though, according to Amazon reviews, so it's probably just as well that I have to get a new one.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 19:32, archived)
Shit off

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:06, archived)
Shit on

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:08, archived)
+Tell me can you feel it? The
+is ...
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:24, archived)
Alright, Mr. Miyagi

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:10, archived)
*whacks off*

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:26, archived)
bellicose rhetoric

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:20, archived)
#infest

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:26, archived)
Alright MGT.

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:27, archived)
Alright

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:28, archived)
Alright MRT.

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:28, archived)
Alright MCB

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:29, archived)
Alright DRB

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:30, archived)
Might go outside and build a sleetman

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:28, archived)
Soggy the sleetman

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:30, archived)
Peter Puddle

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:33, archived)
I hope Peter Sutcliffe doesn't die this year, that would be one celebrity death too far.

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:35, archived)
Someone form a protective ring around Rose West!

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 15:57, archived)
Willy Piddle
a river named Piddle exists in Dorset. can someone pls wee in it so that it all makes sense?
...
"Several villages which the river passes through are named after it: as well as Piddletrenthide there are Piddlehinton, Puddletown, Tolpuddle, Affpuddle, Briantspuddle and Turnerspuddle." etc.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:37, archived)
There's a town in Ireland called Muff
and they have a diving club.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:51, archived)
There's a Wyre Piddle iirc

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 15:08, archived)
Waaaaaay ahead of you

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:54, archived)
Bloody hell it's cold out

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 15:00, archived)
Fucking is

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 15:08, archived)
I think my winky fell off on the way to the pub

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 15:42, archived)
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit off
Because you got to get lost because you know you're soft, uh-huh
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:18, archived)
I will always click the Furious 5

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
^ fat panda

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
morning

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 7:19, archived)
Morning grrr

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 7:44, archived)
alright m

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:03, archived)
That's what *she* said.
I am hungover and probably technically still drunk in the office this morning, and I have nothing to do. I've also turned up in a shirt and tracksuit trousers because I sort of missed my alarm clock. Long live working between Christmas and the new year.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 8:10, archived)
fuck it all
no-one's productive in this non-week anyway
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:04, archived)
Exactly.
I've got a project that's due on 5 January but it's only a couple of days' work so I can't be arsed with it right now.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:13, archived)
Hiya

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 8:35, archived)
sup

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:04, archived)
Alright

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 8:42, archived)
word

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:04, archived)
happy nein o'clock @ all

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:00, archived)
lol hitler

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:05, archived)
I've spent the night in a hotel, sans kids and sans dogs.
I'd forgotten what it's like to awaken naturally.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:06, archived)
sans every thing

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:18, archived)
So sorry that you've been kicked out, especially at this time of year

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 10:12, archived)
It might be the best thing that's ever happened to me.
#freedom
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 10:52, archived)
morning

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 9:27, archived)
Morning

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 10:25, archived)
Yo.

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 10:32, archived)
My plans for getting a beer at lunchtime and spending the afternoon faffing around have been trounced
by the arrival of two loud children in the workplace, and I am not happeh about it.
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 10:46, archived)
The other half has had a screaming row with the lodger
who stormed out. I took my porridge upstairs for a bit of peace.

Fucking Brazilians...
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 10:56, archived)
ayahuasca porridge, I hope

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 11:09, archived)
Nom

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 14:06, archived)
morning

(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 12:22, archived)
Just did my first poo since Saturday
how's your christmas dinner coming out?
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 13:36, archived)
Like Wonka's river

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 13:42, archived)
with a fat german kid floating in it?

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:49, archived)
:D Not this time, thankfully

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 16:25, archived)
my poo seems a lot healthier than my non-holiday diet

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 13:51, archived)
In small, green triangles

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 14:04, archived)
I threw up yesterday evening.

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
in a fine spray

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 14:31, archived)
Alright, 'frank sinatra'

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:10, archived)
dreaming of a shite christmas?

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:24, archived)

n did
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:30, archived)
Didn't have one, I am hemorrhaging money on the horses tho

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 14:51, archived)
I have had 9 watery excretions

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 14:57, archived)
8 rabbit droppings, 7 logs a floating, 6 man eggs laid
5 STINGING RINGS
4 kids dropped off, 3-ply wipes 2 splashed balls, and a sharting in the lavvy.
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:11, archived)
I nearly shit myself in the shed earlier trying to lift the front wheel back in to the bandit

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:49, archived)
arse-bandit

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 21:05, archived)
I was going to cook a curry yesterday but accidentally got pissed instead.
I'm not looking forward to my next shit.
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:25, archived)
there's a lot of that going around

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:42, archived)
Lot of what? Accidentally getting pissed or not looking forward to ones next shit? Or both?

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:46, archived)
accidentally getting pissed
i feel i may accidentally fall into a bottle of raspberry absolut
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 15:50, archived)
God speed.

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 16:00, archived)
Never really had the opportunity to get properly hammered over Christmas.
Going to get properly hammered tonight to make up for it.
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 17:20, archived)
Real shame that one who's obsessed with poo doesn't post here anymore.

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 18:18, archived)
Rachelswipe does still post, actually.

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 18:28, archived)
No, the other one. Bob Todd, that was it.

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 18:49, archived)
omg only 365 sleeps until Christmas
some pricks have already got their decorations up
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 21:13, archived)
Utter pricks
Still, is everybody ready for Christmas?
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 23:09, archived)
It's the anniversary of my best friend's death
Trying not to be sad. She wouldn't approve.
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 23:24, archived)
Merry Fucking Christmas
I watched a bloke shitting baked beans out early this morning.
Mind you, he was poorly, so he couldn't help it much.
Merry Fucking Christmas :)
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 1:11, archived)
can't work out what the best quality street is

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 7:50, archived)
The big purple one

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 9:47, archived)
Filth

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 10:22, archived)
fudge

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 10:35, archived)
Them green triangle things.

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 11:19, archived)
don't be fucking stupid

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 11:47, archived)
Well they're my favourite :(

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 12:03, archived)
Strawberry delight

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 11:23, archived)
Tricky one but I'd say
Redhill
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 11:26, archived)
Bond Street

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 12:06, archived)
the orange and red set are the real money makers

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 13:14, archived)
vine street is a cunt to land on, mind

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 14:30, archived)
merry Kwanzaa to all our African haplogroup boarders
(CET, of course) and good night
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 23:24, archived)
GMT or fuck off, no offence

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 23:28, archived)
Earth's Flat
Don't you know...
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 4:04, archived)
Fuck off back to the USA.

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 4:25, archived)
Hello new person
Araf off back to Wales, Mate. ;)
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 8:47, archived)
"slow off"? o_0

(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 11:57, archived)
Yes.
It's the only Welsh word I know (it's on all the signs on the B roads there) so I like to use it wherever possible. :D
(, Wed 27 Dec 2017, 5:37, archived)
just watched Gremlins
Christmas fillum?
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 21:34, archived)
Santa Does Staines

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 21:36, archived)
nah
too stuffed
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 23:11, archived)
sure why not
merry christmas, pricks
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 23:14, archived)
Of course it is.
My fave xmas fillum though is still probably Lost Hearts. Loved it from when it was first broadcast. And ever since I got the dvd box set of the BBC Ghost Stories For Christmas I've watched it after getting home from the pub on Grrrmas morning.
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 3:34, archived)
Any cunts put / on played Last Christmas?

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 18:56, archived)
yeah
soundcloud.com/moongangs/laaaaast-chriiiiiistmas
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 19:34, archived)
Probably some have yeah

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 20:40, archived)
No
Hitting the raspberry absolut
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 20:53, archived)
#euphemism

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 21:07, archived)
My xmas duties have just finished, it's totally glenfiddich o'clock at broadsword towers

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 21:07, archived)
Been on the wine since 2
Halfway down the vodka now. Got the ladybird book of the zombie apocalypse
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 21:18, archived)
fuck off, spanish

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 21:09, archived)
Smegma

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 21:25, archived)

No thanks, I couldn't eat another thing.
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 22:42, archived)
Heart FM did
cunts.
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 23:11, archived)
Urrghhhhh
Sick wil inner ear infection so walk like im pissed, stuck in hotel with in laws.
Might as well get pissed!!!

Easy way out, split with my women.... zero fucks given.


Yah, run forrest...........
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 14:32, archived)
lol

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 14:37, archived)

youtu.be/yEiY9jNzS7w
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 14:41, archived)
Winning at life.

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 15:40, archived)

Any tinnitus or loss of hearing?

I was diagnosed with Manieres disease last week.
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 18:06, archived)
Good

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 18:18, archived)
don't think of it as losing your hearing,
but gaining somebody else's hearing
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 18:21, archived)
Yeah, double plus on those matey.

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 18:50, archived)
Manieres
You will die eventually
(, Tue 26 Dec 2017, 0:50, archived)
MERRY GRRRMAS EVERYBODY!
Is everyone drunk yet? I'm drinking some coffee cream liquer thing like a ponce. It's not bad. I'm gonna go back to the spicy in a bit I think.
Did Santa bring you all a lump of coal? That's the best bit I think.
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 12:21, archived)
and to you.
i got nothing and I gave nothing. best grrrmas ever. not much getting drunk with my nan tho. reserving a ticket end of the year to finally watch that wars of the stars thingamajig so that I can use the internets again without fear of spoilers
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 12:34, archived)
Santa got me nowt , fat fucking bearded cunt

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 12:57, archived)
Yeah, he looks a bit Jewish too.
Never mind mongy. Here's a nice Grrrmas song to cheer you up: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItlSHnLSFS4
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 13:20, archived)
Chrs stu, I'm in the pub anyway, this one shuts at 4, the one up the roads open till 7 tho

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 13:52, archived)
he's Greek you daft spongecake

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 14:38, archived)
Not drinking before lunch
I got many nice things
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 13:29, archived)
I got nice things and booze

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 14:18, archived)
Yah bitch tits, in hotel room waiting for room service.

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 18:54, archived)
Merry Christmas
To all you b3tards out there
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 0:09, archived)
I don't think I'm ready yet.

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 7:15, archived)
Happy Holidays, everyone!
Except the Zoroastrians, obviously, you cunts can all go fuck yourselves.
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 8:09, archived)
Poor Freddie. :(

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 9:59, archived)
Alright 'Bryan Singer'

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 14:02, archived)
Pub time

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 9:09, archived)
proper Sunday Christmas thread, this is

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 9:44, archived)
It's 9.48 and I'm already full

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 9:49, archived)
Don't forget to have a shit so you can fit more food in

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 9:54, archived)
See, this is where I'm going wrong

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 9:55, archived)
Merry non-denominational festival to all.
I'm still full from yesterday and we haven't even started yet today.
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 10:02, archived)
I just woke up fully clothed, shoes still on and everything. Top pissheading.

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 10:32, archived)
Braw

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 11:12, archived)
Merry Christmas to you all, except banned poster Dozer and that Star Wars knob from the other day

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 11:20, archived)
Merry Christmas Richard.

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 11:23, archived)
And to you

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 12:33, archived)
Merry Xmas bbz xxx
There's a bucketload of sprouts on the menu for lunchtime so I'm looking forward to a bit of quality guffing later on.
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 11:28, archived)
Sprouts+gravy=spravy
Maybe yours will catch on.
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 12:31, archived)
MERRY EVERYTHING!

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 12:00, archived)
WOOHOOOOOOOO

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 12:34, archived)
Merry Christmas, denizens of /talk

(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 11:45, archived)
Everybody's ready now, right..?

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 21:32, archived)
stick your cock in a stocking and fuck a walnut

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 21:49, archived)
Yer almost, just about to start the wrapping up

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 21:54, archived)
For what?

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 22:07, archived)
I've fucked up
I've been getting ready for halloween all this time
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 22:15, archived)
so much enthusiasm

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 22:58, archived)
While everyone’s asleep, daddy put the Christmas tree up. Lamaisah’s going to be happy

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 23:00, archived)
I hope Santa comes, 'cos I didn't bother buying any presents.

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 23:30, archived)
You're in luck, there's a dodgy-looking bearded guy in your kid's room right now

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 23:42, archived)
The father-in-law has been at the cooking sherry again, then?
The kids were all set to leave a tot of rum out, this year, but then the daughter found the bourbon, so I've had to neck a shot of that, instead.
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 23:48, archived)
I'm half cut and listening to the spector Christmas album so it is Christmas, yes.

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 23:43, archived)
I survived another Polish christmas
dodged the pickled herring, bypassed the carp in jelly, spurned the sour beetroot drink and stuck two fingers up at the mashed pea mayonaisse salad.

Rankest christmas food?
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 16:51, archived)
trifle
it has bananas and custard in it
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 16:54, archived)
You're right
trifle is sugary gunk for toddlers
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 16:59, archived)
i'm having something simple tonight
fish finger butty, maybe
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:00, archived)
Have something healthy and nutritious

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:40, archived)
Booze?

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:46, archived)
How about grilled chicken, vegetables and whole grain rice

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:56, archived)
Sounds positively frightful

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 18:25, archived)
fish fingers
This was always my christmas eve dinner of choice, however one year I discovered a lack of said items in freezer. I DID find a bag of scampi and the rest is history!!
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:48, archived)
I have no scampi
Or it would be my first choice too
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:54, archived)
what history? are you famous?

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:57, archived)
history shouldn't be a mystery

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 18:01, archived)
I just wonder if someone has recorded in a historical tome
"purpledoris did a fishy shit"
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 18:14, archived)
In late 2017, the United States Library of Congress deemed this beeter post "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" and selected it for preservation in the International Archive Of Important Internet.

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 18:26, archived)
Dun dah dunnn dah Dunn dah dunnn

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 21:10, archived)
I've only been awake a couple of hours, had a breakfast beer in the shower, just eaten a frikadellen and I'm off the pub

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 16:59, archived)
I would just reply 'marzipan' but I have a feeling that's a bannable offence

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:20, archived)
I think people who hate sprouts have some genetic thing that makes it taste bad.
A similar problem is some people have a genetic problem where corriander tastes like soap to them. That'd be worse, I reckon.
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:40, archived)
+asparagus wee

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:42, archived)
That'd be me
Too much coriander makes soapy curries
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:47, archived)
I'm sorry to hear about your inferior genes.

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:56, archived)
I think I must have some version of taste/smell blindness
considering all the popular flavours make me want to vom, and my favourite tastes are liquorice, vinegar and petrol.

The smell of melted chocolate makes me heave.
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:57, archived)
I like the smell of petrol, but can't say I've tasted it.
The trick is to stop sucking on the pipe before it enters your mouth.
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 18:13, archived)
easier said than done

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 18:15, archived)

Fried with pancetta
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 21:33, archived)
Mate, christmas is tomorrow

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 18:26, archived)
Different zone innit, GMT+25

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 18:30, archived)
More like GMT -50 years

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 19:30, archived)
I love pickled herring, rest sounds gross.
My parents are pretty sound about food so Christmas is usually fine from that POV.

Sorry I don't have any amusing stories about gross Christmas food.
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 19:07, archived)
but do you just like pickled herring?
or pickled hering in cream or pickled herring in tomato sause or pickled herring in jelly or pickled herring with onions?
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 19:11, archived)
all this food sounds great to me tbh,
you're such a fussy eater, worse than Vegans
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 14:36, archived)
Xmas Eve morning

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 10:44, archived)
Word

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 11:47, archived)
to

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 12:03, archived)
the Wise Men

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 12:05, archived)
Rich.

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 14:12, archived)
really
Please tell me you don't actually live in Houghton Regis....
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:49, archived)
CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS
CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 12:22, archived)
Are you ready?

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 12:47, archived)
Y

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 12:57, archived)
Nope

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 13:51, archived)
Looking forward to the prince charles speech

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 14:07, archived)
wait, is it christmas?

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 12:49, archived)

○●
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 12:58, archived)
FUCK YES

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 14:13, archived)
Because of that fucking Christmas song I thought slade were shit for years. They're not.

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 16:37, archived)
Might print out this post and wrap some presents in it

(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 17:19, archived)
Just updating you all - I'm ready for Christmas
Please amend your spreadsheets accordingly
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 14:10, archived)
there are no decent christmas films on
no scrooged, no die hard, nothing!
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 16:27, archived)
No Gremlins?
:(
(, Mon 25 Dec 2017, 12:20, archived)

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