morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 7:04, archived)

Finally, some sanity

(97800, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 7:30, archived)

Yes

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 3 Dec 2018, 8:13, archived)

Hope Sandoval y/n

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 8:19, archived)

y
Mazzy Star is th3 sh1zn1t.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 8:25, archived)

Nowt like staying up till 02:30, missing your alarm and having to Uber it to work.
Morning.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 8:25, archived)

yeah hi

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 8:38, archived)

yes

( $$ ✅, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:05, archived)

omg omg it's so nearly christmas !!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:06, archived)

I forgot to open my advent calendar on Saturday so I opened two days' worth on Sunday and had two chocolates at once.
Take that, societal customs.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:09, archived)

you fat fucker

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:16, archived)

They were Lindt as well.
None of this Kinder nonsense.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:19, archived)

like omg!
fart on me
( $$ ✅, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:13, archived)

*guffs*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:15, archived)

is everyone ready for Christmas yet?

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:41, archived)

Not really.
I've got to see if I can pigeonhole my boss this afternoon and talk about time off.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:51, archived)

fink u mean buttonhole m8

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:54, archived)

u r correct.
My brain is still a little fuzzy this morning.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:55, archived)

tton m
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 9:57, archived)

talk about time wank him
(97800, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 11:43, archived)

Christmas this jelly
(97800, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 10:12, archived)

Ning!

( Lord Gnome, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 10:59, archived)

I want more ning, fucker

(97800, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 11:35, archived)

Just about

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 3 Dec 2018, 11:41, archived)

alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 13:17, archived)

Snooker's on, so yes

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 13:55, archived)

awesome

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 18:50, archived)

alright ger

( mongychops, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 13:59, archived)

Dave

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 18:50, archived)

Spurs looked hit and miss today, leggy

( mongychops, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 19:17, archived)

teh horbz

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 14:05, archived)

bumholes

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 18:50, archived)

Greetings.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 14:17, archived)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaardvaaaaAAAAAArk

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 18:51, archived)

Yo.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 20:56, archived)

ye, you?

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 16:29, archived)

Dai

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 18:51, archived)

My teeth are itchy.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 16:53, archived)

I know that feeling

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 18:51, archived)

alright

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 18:04, archived)

mofahahahahaha

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 18:51, archived)

RIP Paul 'Trouble' Anderson

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 19:42, archived)

With a name like that, he should have seen it coming

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 22:43, archived)

Who's watching the fight then?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 1:38, archived)

You stomping cunt.
Everyone was just about to swamp my thread with a thousand replies.

You've scared them away now.

If we're really quiet... and talk about trainers...
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 2 Dec 2018, 2:24, archived)

Tyson just gone down in the 9th round *bites nails*
Surely someone is still up
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 5:35, archived)

For all b3tans just waking up
It was a draw!
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 5:48, archived)

Didn't know there was a fight.
In answer to the real question around here, though, I have bought some twinkly lights and an advent calendar. I'm also going to have a tour of the Chrimbo market in town this week, possibly even today, for a slug of their turbocharged mulled wine.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 9:23, archived)

If I want to see 2 men beat the shit out of each other
I'll go down the local spoons
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 11:24, archived)

Didn't see it but I hope they agreed to just sit down and talk about things like proper grown ups

(97800, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 11:28, archived)

Will Smith's mum

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 11:36, archived)

And yet our best trained, best educated, best equipped, best prepared troops refuse to fight

(97800, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 11:52, archived)

brexit now

( $$ ✅, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 11:56, archived)

as a matter of fact, it's safe to say that some of them would rather switch than fight

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 12:46, archived)

'Switch' as in 'switch sides and support the enemy cause' or just as in 'lay down their weapons and go home'?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 13:00, archived)

Pinch punch 1st of December.
I've put up my tree. On shoe and whisky and ginger wine and mulled wine and cider. My cats are going mental with tinsel and it's all very festive. What a gwahn with your breadbins?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 2 Dec 2018, 0:01, archived)

what is everyone on about today?
i have loads of dead bushes in my garden, and not even one of them tore at my tights
( maia posted this on, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 16:08, archived)

listening to the kids chasing each other round the house
saying one or other of them has the mange
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 16:56, archived)

Do they have mange?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 17:35, archived)

I doubt it

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 19:05, archived)

Is this speak in code day or what

(97800, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 16:57, archived)

if it was, you wouldn't understand the answer

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 16:59, archived)

-.-- --- ..- / -.-. ..- -. -

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 19:24, archived)

Ok nice one

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 17:23, archived)

bbbbbbBBBBBBBBbBrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRrrrRrrRrrooooooooiOoooOOOAaaaaAaaaadswOOOOooooooOOOOooooRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrdddDddddddd!!!?!

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 18:08, archived)

Where the fuck have you been

( mongychops, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 18:24, archived)

somewhere marginally more entertaining.
Work, mostly, and doing up a house like a proper grown up.

Alright mongy. How's the bivvy life?
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 18:27, archived)

Bivvy life has been slow this year , 8 times I think I've been

( mongychops, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 19:41, archived)

slright sss

( broadsword w⚓, Sun 2 Dec 2018, 1:10, archived)

Why don't you burn them down?
Burn them all down. Burn it all.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 17:33, archived)

My tights are red and they have polka dots on :)

( $$ ✅, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 17:50, archived)

pdlka

(97800, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 18:00, archived)

poo and wee

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 17:54, archived)

Did your dead bush invade Iraq?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 18:00, archived)

No, but plenty of Iraqis invaded her dead bush iykwim

(97800, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 18:01, archived)

tbh i thought it was filled with kurds

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 18:15, archived)

No whey

(97800, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 19:01, archived)

Oh dear lord

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 19:06, archived)

Went to a vernissage this afternoon of an exhibition that combined microbiology and mythology.
Pretty interesting stuff it was too. Then felt inexplicably knackered, went home for a nap, and have just woken up. Oh, and I caved and bought some Christmas decorations this morning even though I said I wasn't going to.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 20:22, archived)

What kind of mythology?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 20:47, archived)

Mostly Japanese and Aboriginal; the artists did a master's in social sciences and they're the main 'tribal' mythologies she's studied.
You can see some of the pics here.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 20:54, archived)

Nice
My interest is mostly Greek mythology, with a bit of Egyptian thrown in. Should probably pay attention to Norse mythology due to my heritage, but tbh it leaves me cold
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 21:23, archived)

It's cold in them tharr Norse countries alright.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 21:58, archived)

That's probably why my danish ancestors moved to England

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 22:12, archived)

Sandi Toksvig, I've found your b333ter account!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 22:31, archived)

I'm not Sandi
No clue as to where my danish heritage comes from as my dad doesn't talk about his family
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 22:58, archived)

Afternoon
I'm spending the day being very ill. How are you chucklefucks spending the weekend?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 15:43, archived)

my old firm called up in a panic on Friday asking for more videos
so I'm charging a fat fee to lose part of my Saturday. All done now though.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 1 Dec 2018, 15:46, archived)

evening

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 20:43, archived)

aye, right enough

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 20:49, archived)

yup

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 20:58, archived)

Hey
onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-jewelry-wearable-art/roman-gold-sardonyx-cameo-finger-ring-mask-satyr-5/63699
( mongychops, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 21:08, archived)

lol, finger ring

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 21:46, archived)

It's the smile I'm after , cute

( mongychops, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 22:26, archived)

Dude looks like an albino Zoidberg after smoking a peng bit of puff.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 22:29, archived)

Steven Tyler's really struggling these days

(97800, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 23:05, archived)

It's night now

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 21:59, archived)

Yippee ki yay motherfucker

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 22:28, archived)

I told the work experience girl that was my favourite Christmas film today and she looked at me as if I were a Martian.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 22:34, archived)

You just found your first replicant

(97800, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 22:39, archived)

She probably prefers Lethal Weapon.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 23:04, archived)

Not very festive, is it

(97800, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 23:07, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:21, archived)

wanker

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:31, archived)

Is this how you usually start your day?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:38, archived)

always.

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:49, archived)

media.giphy.com/media/l396VO7eqMcpD08ve/giphy.gif
(97800, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:32, archived)

bit crude, m8

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:33, archived)

Nice hat

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:40, archived)

brexit

( $$ ✅, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:47, archived)

...with Narada Michael Walden

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:50, archived)

Who better to guide us through this period of economic uncertainty

(97800, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:56, archived)

Ross Kemp On Borders

(97800, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:57, archived)

there is no one more suited

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:58, archived)

res.cloudinary.com/jpress/image/fetch/c_fill,f_auto,h_438,q_auto:eco,w_962/https://inews.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/mrblobbyonbrexitpanel.png
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 8:19, archived)

he could perform at the after party

( $$ ✅, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 8:09, archived)

Nothing more need be said

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 8:12, archived)

Friday.
Got to get down on Friday.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:56, archived)

Fartyin fartyin yeah

(97800, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 7:58, archived)

yeah
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 8:06, archived)

gotta have your bowl

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 8:13, archived)

Wouldn't mind a bowl to start off the weekend, now that you mention it.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 8:15, archived)

+pain-free
+e
+movement
(97800, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 8:32, archived)

Lol old.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 8:43, archived)

Yo , suppose I better go take some grapes and Lucozade today

( mongychops, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 9:10, archived)

Take a tape measure
tell him you've found a decent price on a coffin, one careful owner
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 9:16, archived)

jings!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 9:45, archived)

Jiminy jillikers

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 9:47, archived)

Grackles, gaskets and gumboots!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 9:56, archived)

have you been sacked from the new job already?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 9:57, archived)

He's l33t h4xx0r3d the firewall, I reckon.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 9:59, archived)

Using my new phone
since the company's now paying my phone bill for me
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 30 Nov 2018, 10:05, archived)

I HAVE BEEN USOIPED ON MY OWN TEWITOWY!

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 11:17, archived)

alright, Elmer "Brexit" Fudd

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 11:47, archived)

BWEXIT THEATHON! FIRE!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 11:53, archived)

women feel comfortable in my pwesence

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 12:05, archived)

Morning.

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 7:02, archived)

Hello.
I hab god a cold.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 7:06, archived)

Willard

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 29 Nov 2018, 7:52, archived)

anyone else watch vic & bob last night?

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 7:54, archived)

No

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 29 Nov 2018, 7:59, archived)

Hi hun

(97800, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:01, archived)

I think the lines might have needed cleaning in at the gig I was at last night.
I could blow a dog off a chain this morning.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:03, archived)

blowing dogs, lol

(97800, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:11, archived)

What is it that it is, chive turkey.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:31, archived)

going London, ain't I

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:34, archived)

Say hi to the queen for me

(97800, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:35, archived)

I think you say cooee to queens, don't you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:36, archived)

don't get knifed

( $$ ✅, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:37, archived)

going tooled up, my tactic is to get the first blow in

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:41, archived)

▀██▀─▄███▄─▀██─██▀██▀▀█
─██─███─███─██─██─██▄█
─██─▀██▄██▀─▀█▄█▀─██▀█
▄██▄▄█▀▀▀─────▀──▄██▄▄█
( $$ ✅, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:37, archived)

Jesus is love m8

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 8:43, archived)

One for the treble, two for the bass, come on /talk lets rock this plaice

           ,-.           ,.---'''^\                  O
          {   \       ,__\,---'''''`-.,      O    O
           I   \    K`,'^           _  `'.     o
           \  ,.J..-'`          // (O)   ,,X,    o
           /  (_               ((   ~  ,;:''`    --morning
          /   ,.X'.,            \\      ':;;;:
         (_../      -._                  ,'`
                     K.=,;.__ /^~/___..'`
                             /  /`
                             ~~~  

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 29 Nov 2018, 9:02, archived)

evening

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 19:19, archived)

Yes bruv.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 19:38, archived)

Thank you for your service

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 20:26, archived)

You're welcome.
My jaws ache.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 20:28, archived)

It is, yes.
How is everyone?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 19:41, archived)

Thank you for the music

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 20:26, archived)

Let's make this good

(97800, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 19:54, archived)

Thanks for all the fish

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 20:28, archived)

Innit

( mongychops, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 19:59, archived)

What ho

( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 20:24, archived)

Thanks but no thanks

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 20:28, archived)

You realise before long you are going to have to show an interest in teen culture for your daughter yeah ?

( mongychops, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 21:00, archived)

Might get a face tattoo and a prison sentence

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 21:18, archived)

I admire her ambitions

( mongychops, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 22:00, archived)

evening!

( vladimir, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 21:02, archived)

Vlads here, come on

( mongychops, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 21:13, archived)

hello mongy

( vladimir, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 21:31, archived)

I have "liked" this post
_{.
(97800, Wed 28 Nov 2018, 21:16, archived)}