There was no fox activity at all last night.
Probably chilling at one of their other dens..? Maybe the cubs are off learning how to hunt by now.

allthingsfoxes.com/fox-den/ claims to be all you need to know about fox dens but it isn't.

No way is a fox digging 3-8 feet deep in Kent clay. There's like 6-9 inches of soil and beyond that you'd need a fucking boring machine. This den must sit between the concrete foundations of the shed and the top of the clay layer.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 14 May 2024, 15:34, archived)

Ahhhhhh you're from Kent
This explains an awful lot
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 14 May 2024, 17:28, archived)

I live in Kent
I'm not from Kent.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 14 May 2024, 17:39, archived)

Me too!
I'm gonna guess... Gravesend
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 14 May 2024, 17:42, archived)

You guess you live in Gravesend?
I know where I live.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 14 May 2024, 17:44, archived)

Ashford?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 14 May 2024, 17:44, archived)

Deal or no Deal?

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 14 May 2024, 18:46, archived)

Cock Lane, Hamstreet, Obvs.
Near Slutshole.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 14 May 2024, 21:02, archived)

Hi wanker's, Queef here with a cool new /chat thread
day off today but cba to do shit all, so I've done some exercise, had a virtual doc appt and done my tax return. Both rock AND roll, in equal measures.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:21, archived)

I'm making some toast

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:32, archived)

that's the thing I fear the most

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:42, archived)

More than being chased by beepeedee with an enormous dildo?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:43, archived)

how could beepeedee chase me with himself

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:48, archived)

-with +,

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:48, archived)

beepeedee is an enormous dildo

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:51, archived)

I'm getting the vibe that beepeedee is an enormous dildo

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:53, archived)

e that ration,
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:54, archived)

Alright Marky Mark

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 14 May 2024, 15:01, archived)

These 'enormous dildo' accusations are deeply hurtful.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 14 May 2024, 15:08, archived)

said the enormous dildo

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 15:09, archived)

classic 'enormous dildo' response

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 May 2024, 15:10, archived)

try lubricating yourself first

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 May 2024, 15:10, archived)

Quite right.
You strike more as a sort of human buttplug.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 May 2024, 15:27, archived)

try being a bit smaller

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 16:33, archived)

You've already done three things
That's a full day's work for me
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 14 May 2024, 14:34, archived)

I'm trying to get out and about on days off, museums etc
domestic admin doesn't quite cut it for me
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:43, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:44, archived)

😘

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 14 May 2024, 17:27, archived)

New box of tissues, cover came off clean without ripping, I'm feeling so blessed right now

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:35, archived)

Bless you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:44, archived)

living the dream, bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:44, archived)

-d

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 16:37, archived)

Just done my second shit of the day.
It was number two.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 14 May 2024, 11:21, archived)

who does number two work for?

(piss and shit, Tue 14 May 2024, 11:22, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Tue 14 May 2024, 12:09, archived)

sticklebricks

(piss and shit, Tue 14 May 2024, 12:56, archived)

Tits

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 14 May 2024, 14:35, archived)

The Porcupine From Purgatory

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 17:06, archived)

Don't tell him, Pike!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 May 2024, 21:34, archived)

I'm in a meeting with my head of department
she's one of the biggest energy vampires I've ever worked for. She just sits there silent while other people fill the silence with verbal drivel.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 May 2024, 12:15, archived)

I dunno, the silent one seems like the good one.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 14 May 2024, 12:35, archived)

Cheryl Crust
So what's the budget?
.....
What is it you want to achieve with this project?
.....
Who are we benchmarking outselves against? Who is our competition?
....
What do you want to to
.....
Hello?
....
Is there anybody there?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:05, archived)

.......
...... why don't you send an email to all the staff to ask if they have any ideas.
Okay, and then you'll do what with the ideas?

.....

Hello?

.....

The ideas people have for what your vision should be? What ....


Oh I give up.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 May 2024, 14:07, archived)

penis

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 17:54, archived)

She could be a Machiavellian evil genius.
Or perhaps just a mardy cunt. It can be hard to tell.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 May 2024, 12:48, archived)

This is pretty much what I've heard back from her superiors
I've been here long enough that I know the senior team. They are perplexed.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:45, archived)

I once worked with a guy like that
when I eventually gave up talking to him, he filled in the gaps
I think he'd subconciously picked it up as a conversational gambit
(piss and shit, Tue 14 May 2024, 12:57, archived)

those who know do not speak, those who speak do not know

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:15, archived)

This is why 'dumb' also means 'clever.'

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 May 2024, 13:27, archived)

It's a bit deeper than that, it actually points to the fact that a silent fart can be very deadly
and that you should never admit responsibility
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:30, archived)

Swap her for our office manager
She insists on weekly meetings where we all have to contribute something and sends endless emails
I am planning to kill her
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:23, archived)

bring that up at the next meeting, a chance discuss something you feel strongly about for a change, i guarantee she'll be impressed

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:28, archived)

You're funny guy
#goodfellas
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:19, archived)

^ Joe Pishy

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:23, archived)

He was brilliant in that movie

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:24, archived)

he was pish

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:32, archived)

funny how?

( theniwokeup has been awake since, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:33, archived)

Morning troops
Happy Online Romance Day!
Feel free to gaz me with tender messages xxxx
Alt, it is also Dance Like a Chicken Day, so be lolwaki and annoy the fuck out of work colleagues
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 14 May 2024, 7:10, archived)

morning

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 7:13, archived)

No thanks.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 14 May 2024, 8:24, archived)

I said a tender message
Not a cockgaz
Bloody nonce
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 14 May 2024, 8:54, archived)

The bike lock I keep at work wasn't unlocking
but I finally rembered to bring in some WD40 and it's working a treat now. Click, like and subscribe for more great anecdotes and life hacks.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 May 2024, 9:11, archived)

I think I've overloaded the motor on my 36v hammer drill
the spindle turns but it doesn't get up to speed, have you got any tips or tricks to get it up and running?
(piss and shit, Tue 14 May 2024, 10:04, archived)

I'd suggest....
communityrepairnetwork.org.uk/
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 May 2024, 10:27, archived)

ooh ta!

(piss and shit, Tue 14 May 2024, 10:29, archived)

Have you tried CIIJASIIE?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 May 2024, 10:34, archived)

obviously

(piss and shit, Tue 14 May 2024, 10:46, archived)

Sorry, but it's always best to tick off the obvious remedies first, I find.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 May 2024, 12:13, archived)

especially if you've been bitten by a tick

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 May 2024, 13:22, archived)

Rust probably

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Tue 14 May 2024, 11:02, archived)

www.jiosaavn.com/lyrics/bungle-grind-lyrics/QhsHYEdCQl0
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 14 May 2024, 9:50, archived)

That's pretty grim tbh

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Tue 14 May 2024, 11:04, archived)

I rescheduled all my lessons today
And I'm going to take the day off.
Also taking 2 weeks in July
I am fucking exhausted.
I am an introvert and talking to people all day wears we out.
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Tue 14 May 2024, 11:01, archived)

keep the fuck off my lawn
∵*.•´¸.•*´✶´♡
°☆ °˛*˛☆_Π____*˚☆*
˚ ˛★˛•˚*/______/ ~⧹。˚˚
˚ ˛•˛•˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門｜ ˚*
🌷╬╬🌷╬╬🌷╬╬🌷╬╬🌷
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 22:20, archived)

If there's any fuck on your lawn, I bet you put it there yourself, your dutty bastod.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 13 May 2024, 22:37, archived)

get about from my post you

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 22:40, archived)

FUCK YOUR LAWN

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 13 May 2024, 22:48, archived)

💪 (•︡益︠•) 👊

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 23:27, archived)

www.kroger.com/product/images/large/front/0084154810841
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 14 May 2024, 0:27, archived)

common sense at last

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 May 2024, 3:17, archived)

Having foxes living in your garden makes nightime smoking 600% more terrifying.
They creep up on you, make a fucking weird noise and then vanish in a flash of movement. The other night one made a sound like a fucking bear or something, made me jump about 12' in the air.

They also creep about killing small screaming creatures, of which I didn't realise I had so many, and now I don't.

This cohabitation is proving a little bit stressful for all concerned, I think.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 13 May 2024, 19:52, archived)

Foxes are awesome

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 20:10, archived)

Quit smoking you weak willed wanker
#teamfox
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 13 May 2024, 20:20, archived)

There's nothing weak about my willed wanking.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 13 May 2024, 22:00, archived)

Smoking is not good
Sos
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 21:31, archived)

I ain't vaping oil, so smoke smoke smoke.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 13 May 2024, 22:02, archived)

Or just give up?
I smoke hash, in a pipe, not touched that terbaccer for 20 odd years
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 22:19, archived)

Smoking is not good
Sos
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 13 May 2024, 23:17, archived)

600%? a 12 foot jump? a fox impersonating a bear?
I'm finding this anecdote very hard to believe

2/10 Would not read again
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 14 May 2024, 0:26, archived)

600% is accurate.
Okay maybe 12mm is more accurate than 12'. The growl was very loud (very near), very low pitched and very sudden.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 14 May 2024, 1:37, archived)

Are you not allowed to smoke inside your own home?
It's the Woke Nanny State gone mad woke, I tell you.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 May 2024, 6:29, archived)

CHEW ON MY BEEFY FLAPS

(sticklebricks, Mon 13 May 2024, 19:43, archived)

LOL
tagline
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 13 May 2024, 19:48, archived)

Is there a vegetarian option?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 13 May 2024, 19:53, archived)

Is there a vegan option

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 20:09, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 19:59, archived)

Alright chef

( mongychops, Mon 13 May 2024, 21:39, archived)

I fink u freeky an I like you a lot

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 16:35, archived)

Can I put my penis in your cleavage?
Not even saying please
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 13 May 2024, 17:47, archived)

Yes

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 17:52, archived)

Stopped crying now then and just posting shit?

( mongychops, Mon 13 May 2024, 18:05, archived)

I feel better now that work is over
But this is the title of a song by Die Antwoord
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 18:32, archived)

Here's the video
youtu.be/8Uee_mcxvrw?si=MpUu5X6NwdEPE2zb
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 18:33, archived)

They're a right pair of cunts, those two.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 13 May 2024, 18:49, archived)

Bou I agree with but come on bruv mongy's alright

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 May 2024, 19:10, archived)

Left my phone in browns. U sure?

( mongychops, Mon 13 May 2024, 21:38, archived)

He'

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 13 May 2024, 22:13, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 13 May 2024, 19:11, archived)

Why?

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 20:09, archived)

Stuff like this:
www.yahoo.com/entertainment/danny-brown-accuses-die-antwoord-193241287.html#:~:text=Danny%20Brown%20has%20accused%20Die,experience%20left%20him%20%E2%80%9Cshellshocked.%E2%80%9D

And this
www.nme.com/news/music/die-antwoord-removed-festivals-homophobic-attack-hercules-love-affair-andy-butler-2539949
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 13 May 2024, 22:13, archived)

They're a shady lot and no mistake
But no different to any other rappers
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Tue 14 May 2024, 11:09, archived)

bollocks to all that rubbish. weather is too weathery today so i've got the day off.
i'd just like to take this opportunity to announce that i have the day off.

i intend to spend it drinking in honour of queef's hangover.
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:16, archived)

I'd like to announce that I'm depressed

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:23, archived)

fuck off little miss buzzkill

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:25, archived)

:'(

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:26, archived)

you've got lots of lessons today. no time to be depressed. get back to work! *cracks whip*

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:27, archived)

😭
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:28, archived)

i'm not wasting my time talking to a pseudo tween that only communicates with emojiis
it's like talking to mofaha
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:31, archived)

Ok fine.
I'm crying.
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:44, archived)

ok fine.
i'm not a counsellor.
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:48, archived)

Not human either

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 14:41, archived)

beep boop beep

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 20:36, archived)

🤐
That's me told
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:47, archived)

lol

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 16:07, archived)

In honour of his hangover I have 4 bottles of stout
And am waiting till noon to start allotment drinking
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:45, archived)

my farts are especially smelly this morning.
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:51, archived)

I've just finished the umderground plumbing for my new downstairs loo
just got to put in a new floating floor and the internal plumbing, and decorate. So it might be finished by christmas
(piss and shit, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:08, archived)

the carpet fitter turned up this morning and then immediately said he'd have to come back tomorrow
so fuck knows what that was about
(piss and shit, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:10, archived)

his carpet didn't match your curtains

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:21, archived)

worst porn film ever.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:24, archived)

It's niche porn for asexuals.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 13 May 2024, 13:28, archived)

they love a bit of niche they do

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 15:57, archived)

Niche Lorraine, in particular.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 13 May 2024, 16:01, archived)

+ Kelly

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 13 May 2024, 16:21, archived)

+ R.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 13 May 2024, 16:50, archived)

Piss

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 13 May 2024, 17:49, archived)

that's R. Whites

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 22:05, archived)

i'm a secret lemonade rimmer
r soles, r soles
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 14 May 2024, 3:52, archived)

b+

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:26, archived)

fair

(piss and shit, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:37, archived)

umdergroumd, overgroumd, mombling free
the mombles of mumbletown mumfyhumble are we
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:31, archived)

+ drunken
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:38, archived)

I'm watching horror films
So no change there
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:43, archived)

i'm watching sci-fi horror shorts on the youtubers
www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2X2odndvaIfDXcgCY9lwohDKa-N8mi1D
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 12:52, archived)

fuck off then

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 13:07, archived)

I'll have to have a proper look at those when I'm on the laptop

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 13 May 2024, 14:41, archived)

Humphrey said that after landing, the two passengers “jumped in a car and drove home” to Tuggerawong

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 14:13, archived)

Is that bird out of the zutons still fit?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 13 May 2024, 14:47, archived)

she knows the way to Tuggerawong

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 14:51, archived)

With legs like hers I BET SHE DOES

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 13 May 2024, 14:52, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 13 May 2024, 8:44, archived)

urgh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 May 2024, 9:07, archived)

it's wet out here

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 9:29, archived)

You're up Brighton early

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 13 May 2024, 9:54, archived)

piers off

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:14, archived)

Go hove yourself

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:15, archived)

go drink some beach

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:17, archived)

Good hangover?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 10:25, archived)

I slept from 11am to 5pm yesterday, from 8pm to midnight then on and off all night
I still feel a bit weird. I may be getting a bit too old for that lark, at last
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:24, archived)

you were getting too old for it about 20 years ago m8

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:28, archived)

Morning
Wow mad thunderstorm last night eh?
Cleared the air anyhow, gonna be allotment day
What are you scamps on with?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 7:02, archived)

I love a good thunderstorm
Just not the headaches that precede them.
Today I will be mostly knitting and mopping, then going to work.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 13 May 2024, 7:26, archived)

This one was crazy
Headaches, possibly due to static?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 7:32, archived)

or hypochondria
cbd oil might help
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 7:38, archived)

Leeches are good tbh

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 7:50, archived)

tacky blood huffers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 May 2024, 7:53, archived)

Atmospheric pressure
I always get them before a storm and they always go once the storm has passed
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 13 May 2024, 7:55, archived)

I get those as well. And I feel irritated until the storm breaks.

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 8:16, archived)

It's more common than you'd think

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 13 May 2024, 8:29, archived)

People just don't realise its connected

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 8:32, archived)

the sky bone's connected to the air bone
The air bone's connected to the earth bone
The earth bone's connected to the brain bone
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 9:28, archived)

you blithering idiot

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 11:05, archived)

Lots of lessons today

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 7:51, archived)

Good one!

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 8:07, archived)

Today will be a high productivity day

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 13 May 2024, 8:44, archived)

Cleaning up the allotment
Doing some planting, then doggy walking
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 13 May 2024, 8:56, archived)

all aboard
|^^^^^^^^^^^\||____
| The STFU Truck |||""'|""\__,_
| _____________ l||__|__|__|)
...|(@)@)"""""""**|(@)(@)**|(@)
========================
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 2:01, archived)

morning

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 5:58, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 13 May 2024, 6:36, archived)

morning

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 6:39, archived)

Have you driven it under a low bridge? The roof is fucked.
edit: before

|⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺⎺\||_______
| The STFU Truck |||""'|""\__,_
| _____________ l|||___|_____|)
...|(@)@)"""""""**|(@)(@)**|(@)
===============================

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 May 2024, 14:11, archived)

So That's Fixed Up

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 15:58, archived)

So That's Finito, Utnowright?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 May 2024, 16:02, archived)

Northern SHITES more like
Fuck this, I'm going to bed
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 May 2024, 23:47, archived)

Aurora BORINGalis more like

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 May 2024, 23:49, archived)

Coronal mass ejections altering the trajectories of charged particles in the magnetospheric plasma resulting in ionization and excitation of atmospheric conSHITuents more like.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 13 May 2024, 0:00, archived)

ring lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 May 2024, 1:52, archived)

erections lol

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 13 May 2024, 6:14, archived)

What's gotten up YOUR bum?

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Mon 13 May 2024, 7:52, archived)

Ive had too many beers
BURP

Sundays rock
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sun 12 May 2024, 19:55, archived)

Why are you typing the word burp? I find that odd for someone who apparently teaches south African English. Is it some odd inflection for there?

( mongychops, Sun 12 May 2024, 20:26, archived)

FART
(i've had too many cabbages (consentually)).
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 20:56, archived)

You *are* too many cabbages

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:02, archived)

*boils*

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:11, archived)

So that's some charity you benefit from? Glad someone is helping.

( mongychops, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:09, archived)

not sure if i'm giving or receiving in all honesty

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:11, archived)

If its not one it's the other

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:34, archived)

Were you a contestant on Crackerjack?
you might be entitled to compensation
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:38, archived)

this ad blocker is fucking useless

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:49, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 12 May 2024, 22:14, archived)

yeah it's pretty good really

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 22:26, archived)

afternoon

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 14:47, archived)

afternoon
just had a very nice lunch, courtesy of my parents
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 12 May 2024, 15:03, archived)

i had a delicious salad
baking cakes now like a good girl
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 15:16, archived)

ooooh, I love a good salad
haven't made cakes in ages, but I might make my dad one for father's day, he'd rather eat cakes than a proper meal
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 12 May 2024, 16:32, archived)

i baked cinnamon cakes. i've eaten too many

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 17:35, archived)

I thought you were a boy not a girl
Burp
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sun 12 May 2024, 19:53, archived)

"Like a good girl" does not imply one is a girl.
Similarly, I could claim to be eating cheese "like a proper Frenchman" and it would not imply that I was, in fact, French.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 12 May 2024, 19:59, archived)

i am a girl tho

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 20:55, archived)

And French

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:02, archived)

Oui

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:10, archived)

You ate your parents?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 12 May 2024, 15:19, archived)

no, they supplied the food
silly person
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 12 May 2024, 16:32, archived)

you ate a silly person?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 17:33, archived)

Explains why she's grotesquely obese.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 12 May 2024, 18:06, archived)

bit rude m8

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 19:41, archived)

beepeedee is a camel knobber

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:03, archived)

pass it on

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 21:17, archived)

Bit rude.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 12 May 2024, 22:52, archived)

that's perverse
might take my creel and go home
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 May 2024, 23:03, archived)

Happy World Topiary Day!
I wish you well in your bush trimming
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 12 May 2024, 8:17, archived)

The council trims my bush

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 12 May 2024, 8:27, archived)

Sounds a big job!

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 12 May 2024, 8:46, archived)

i use pole loppers on mine

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 9:28, archived)

Lol pole

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 12 May 2024, 9:34, archived)

lol

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 9:42, archived)

It's done fortnightly

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 12 May 2024, 10:53, archived)

on lady garden waste collection day?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 10:57, archived)

No need
They take the trimmings with them
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 12 May 2024, 10:59, archived)

It's mother's day in South Africa I think
Sad face
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sun 12 May 2024, 8:33, archived)

:(

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 12 May 2024, 8:46, archived)

It's pretty fucking hot, I'm sacking off gardening and walking to a pub today.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sun 12 May 2024, 10:02, archived)

I'd love to go to a pub

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sun 12 May 2024, 10:31, archived)

i only drink during the week

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 10:54, archived)

- dri
+ wa
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 12 May 2024, 11:01, archived)

Too hot for the allotment
Might go to the pub for the FA final
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 12 May 2024, 11:00, archived)

footy is for lipstick wearing woofters
/ac
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 11:01, archived)

Your point being?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 12 May 2024, 11:03, archived)

what colour lipstick?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 11:05, archived)

Pinky blue
Non specific binary trans gender neutral
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 12 May 2024, 11:50, archived)

very nice

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 11:58, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 12 May 2024, 10:54, archived)

morning

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 May 2024, 10:55, archived)

Hi m8 xx

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 12 May 2024, 11:02, archived)

Not you.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 12 May 2024, 11:02, archived)

Caught smoking weed on the gangster tour. Das was cool with it. Asked him about the film Arthur's hallowed ground, and if elphick was already drinking far too much and we had a little moment. My self and my friend then went browns and watched strippers.
That's my blog
( mongychops, Sun 12 May 2024, 0:35, archived)

Does Das like a smoke?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 May 2024, 0:40, archived)

Seemed cool with it. Just laughed and said , fucking sarf london boys already on it. He had a pop at South london early and I marked his card where me and my mate were from. It was funny

( mongychops, Sun 12 May 2024, 0:45, archived)

nice

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 May 2024, 3:10, archived)

Alright mongy
Sometimes I can see why you have the word mong in your name
(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sun 12 May 2024, 20:07, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 11 May 2024, 20:50, archived)

I couldn't agree more

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 May 2024, 21:11, archived)

I could.
Try harder.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 11 May 2024, 21:36, archived)

CBA
It seems more gay than usual this year
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 May 2024, 21:39, archived)

i agree holefartwilly

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 11 May 2024, 21:44, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 May 2024, 22:02, archived)

Standard.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 11 May 2024, 23:49, archived)

Not just any bollocks, Saturday bollocks

( broadsword, Sat 11 May 2024, 21:45, archived)

That's some top bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 May 2024, 22:03, archived)

creel, it's a basket for fish

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 May 2024, 23:01, archived)

HA CHA CHA CHA

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 May 2024, 23:22, archived)

Space babies, jesus fucking christ.
Worst episode ever.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 11 May 2024, 19:10, archived)

I always pictured you as Comic Book Guy, and here we are.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 May 2024, 19:25, archived)

That's the joke
is also a Simpsons reference.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 11 May 2024, 19:58, archived)

This second one is even worse

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 May 2024, 19:54, archived)

Since RTD and Disney took over, each episode has been worse than the last.
It's quite impressive when you think about it.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 11 May 2024, 20:02, archived)

Doctor Who is a show for children

(sticklebricks, Sat 11 May 2024, 20:08, archived)

Watched the first episode and hated it

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sat 11 May 2024, 20:11, archived)

And I usually love weird things

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sat 11 May 2024, 20:13, archived)

An Unearthly Child?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 11 May 2024, 21:38, archived)

I'm not sure what it was called.

(Bou.. Fuck thee in an offly direction, Sun 12 May 2024, 8:32, archived)

Was it in black and white?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 12 May 2024, 14:12, archived)