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Morning
Coffee and almond croissant here before getting on the ferry.
(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 7:04, archived)
roll on roll off?

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 7:11, archived)
Aerosol

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 8:52, archived)
bit rude, he only asked a question.

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 11:01, archived)
i want it for my armpits

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 18:22, archived)
Thank goodness we're all old enough to remember these 50 year-old references

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 20:32, archived)
Cross the Mersey?

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 7:18, archived)
Don't get garold started about THE NORTH m8

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 8:11, archived)
Normandie

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 8:53, archived)
Wait are we doing breakfast threads now?
I thought we only had to report our lunch to /talk?
(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 8:49, archived)
morning

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 8:52, archived)
Morning.

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 8:53, archived)
Morning.

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 9:14, archived)
Good plan

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 9:24, archived)
We got a couple of brioche buns for the journey
Dear god, the butter….. I feel ill yet happy.
(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 10:02, archived)
Yummy
I had my usual peanut butter and jam sandwich and coffee
(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 10:28, archived)
Sustaining

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 10:31, archived)
I've had that same breakfast for 2.5 years

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 11:39, archived)
in what sense?

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:48, archived)
you dirty little bug eyed alien shit

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:50, archived)
Cor!

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:53, archived)
my mum says I'm cool :(

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:53, archived)
She is so right

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 21:27, archived)
alright Orson Scott Card, calm down

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 6:24, archived)
thus

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:05, archived)
Touch

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:13, archived)
what's for dinner tonight mongy?
i've bombed and ordered a chinky.
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:17, archived)
Nigga nuts and guts and slabs of human meat mother fucker

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:29, archived)
Cor!

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:49, archived)
brb is gonna be completely and utterly
unaware of this as he has everyone on ignore
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 21:27, archived)
I don't think he has me on ignore
because I got in first
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 21:37, archived)
I stuck that account on ignore years ago. Is it still going? I can't see either way. The system works.

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 22:35, archived)
He's reading and digesting every word, and you all know it.
Especially you, brb.
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 23:35, archived)
In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs, the people that came in, they’re eating the cats. They’re eating the pets of the people that live there.
It did happen. I saw it. It was on television. I saw it.
(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 1:07, archived)
Perhaps it would have been better if they'd targeted somewhere that's not so strongly associated with a silly cartoon
As it stands, right now it sounds a lot like Trump watched The Simpsons for the first time and it confused and upset him
(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 1:27, archived)
Like bedrock ?

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 1:29, archived)
Yeah it's alright

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 1:30, archived)
Saved you the trouble

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 1:30, archived)
Yabba dabba Dooo

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 1:30, archived)
I was genuinely thinking of that, also trying to remember the name of wherever Popeye takes place

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 1:35, archived)
Top of my head I don't know his town. Think I only saw it in the film

(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 1:58, archived)
I'm getting wrecked here
New strain "Blissful Wizard", my review, fine but not worth the embarrassment of having to say the name out loud when you buy it
(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 2:12, archived)
é

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:53, archived)
TOP. LEVEL. COMMENT.

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:08, archived)
HUFF. MY. HOOP.

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:20, archived)
TUP. MY. TAINT.

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:23, archived)
i think i'd rather huff his hoop

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:32, archived)
Let a male sheep bother your nethers?
Kinky
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 22:01, archived)
TOP, LEVEL, COMMA,

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:50, archived)
COMMA, LA, HARRIS,

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:05, archived)
LIVIN LA VIDA COMMA,

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:10, archived)
hullo nullo's

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:01, archived)
I'm doing a pop-up in the Gherkin on Weds

*not a euphemism
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:02, archived)
Gherkins do go well with cheese

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:31, archived)
I made my own last December and gave them as gifts
they were pretty good but not so much better than shop bought that I'd bother again. Ended up costing probably 6 or 7 times as much as Lidl ones once packaging is factored in.

tl;dr dinnae boather
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:57, archived)
geese

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 17:11, archived)
Workin' in the gherkin

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:48, archived)
it's serious
*i know i know
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 17:21, archived)
Gherkins in the jar

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:48, archived)
Getting pickled

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:48, archived)
Whatever next? 122 Leadenhall Street?

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 16:44, archived)
Don't take marys axe. Why she needs it I dunno

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 18:46, archived)
For chopping stuff, would be my guess.
That's their usual purpose, anyway.
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 20:04, archived)
Hi

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:47, archived)
EAT SHIT

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:58, archived)
SMEGWHIFF

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 15:01, archived)
BELLCHEESE

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 15:09, archived)
GOOCH GOUDA

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 15:11, archived)
, TROUSER

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 15:18, archived)
Might go to that Vic Reeves art exhibition

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 15:27, archived)
might frig a frog

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 15:40, archived)
-that Vic Reeves art exhibition +Huw Edwards’ house for a bumming

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 15:43, archived)
Dancin' dancin' danciiiiin'
I'm a dancin' machiiiiiiiine
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 15:43, archived)
bollocks

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:19, archived)
pour your gherkin juice down my throat, please

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 15:44, archived)
, Trouser

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:18, archived)
The Jackson 3

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 11:03, archived)
Jackie Jackson
Jermaine Jackson
Marlon Jackson

Tito Jacksoff
Michael Jacksoff onto young boys

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 11:09, archived)
Don't forget Glenda

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 12:07, archived)
Or Stonewall

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 12:43, archived)
Samuel L Klaxon

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 12:44, archived)
BRB MUTHAFUCKAAA

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 13:01, archived)
I have HAD IT with these MOTHERFUCKING RACISTS on this MOTHERFUCKING FORUM

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 13:14, archived)
^TFGTFGI

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:15, archived)
Georgia Meloni y/n

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 13:47, archived)
n

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:32, archived)
George Melons
As I know him.
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:59, archived)
Bollocks

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 3:13, archived)
Bollocks it is

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 3:16, archived)
Bollocks it was

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 3:40, archived)
Bollocks it will be

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 6:45, archived)
Bollocks say we all!

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 9:47, archived)
And bollocks we shall

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 10:08, archived)
Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes Bollocks'.

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 11:00, archived)
TEA OR COFFEE TEA OR COFFEE

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 7:00, archived)
beer

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 7:04, archived)
Morning
Have gorged ourselves at the breakfast buffet in the hotel and even made sandwiches for lunch. Yay!
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 8:05, archived)
Ohs noes
Got an hour wait till the train. Time for morning holiday beers!!!
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 10:03, archived)
Morning bollocks

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 8:39, archived)
Now I’m n vacashun

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 10:05, archived)
Enjoy!
I'm going shopping, got absolutely nothing in
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 10:18, archived)
are you going to Ann Summers

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 11:25, archived)
No
Ann Summers stuff is overpriced tat
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 14:31, archived)
tat for tit(s)

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 16:41, archived)
Gütten morgen

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 9:48, archived)
TOP. LEVEL. COMMENTS.
Anyone reading anything good? HARD SF? Gratuitous cross sections? Comic books for babies?
ALT: LICK MY OILY ANAL LEAKAGE
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 17:04, archived)
It shouldn't be oily. See a doctor.
How are you today anyway?
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 17:05, archived)
Top level, thanks.

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 17:16, archived)
Bought Stephen Kings new book
As we say in South Africa
It's KAK
He's really lost it
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 17:43, archived)
I never enjoyed any of his books.
Shining, Shawshank and Running Man are good films though. His acting in Creep Show eclipses everything else.
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 17:53, archived)
I haven't seen Creep Show
Sounds like something he should be in
:)
What books do you read? I used to read Arthur C. Clarke etc when I was younger and had more brain cells and more energy and longer concentration span. Now I battle to get through a long tweet.
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 18:37, archived)
ACC is great.
Larry Niven, too. Give me a big dumb object and I'm happy, but the weird sex stuff is often a problem... More so with ACC's paedo fantasies (e.g. all the Rama sequels) than Niven's alien orgy society weirdness. Not sure why megastructure-based SF is so intertwined with sexual perversions but here we are.

Give me a good comic and I'm happy. Give me a bad comic and I'll probably still be happy. No Marvel though, unless it's Kirby or Star Wars. DC's Hell-based stuff is always good (Neil Gaiman, Reign In Hell, The Demon, etc). Dan Dare is always good, especially when it's really bad.

I have about 1 metre of books piled up waiting to be read. Smaller than usual, I'm trying to cut down a little.
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 19:19, archived)
Haven't read the Rama series
Didn't know about paedo fantasies! That's horrific!

Anything besides SF?

I'm reading the The End of Mental Illness by Daniel Amen
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 9:32, archived)
Oh I can't abide self help books.
I can't help myself.

Other than scifi and comics for babies I like a good political polemic, biographies of interesting people, a little bit of space history, that sort of thing.

Rendezvous with Rama is good, well worth reading, and it could make for a good film one day. The sequels are increasingly batshit and filthy. Best avoided.
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 19:13, archived)
It's more of a text book
Or should be
(, Tue 17 Sep 2024, 16:04, archived)
Fuck, he's still alive?
He's extremely fucking old, it's probably been ghostwritten by the nurse who empties his commode. What did you expect, you fucking stupid fucking cunt, as we say in the UK?
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 22:50, archived)
@ ghostwritten by the the nurse who empties his commode hahahahaha brilliant
Well I don't know, I always liked him, but he's not good anymore.
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 9:28, archived)
The Nutritional Information on a jar of Jamaican Honey Jerk Seasoning
Fat 0.5g
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 17:47, archived)
no spoilers please

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 17:55, archived)
Shreked

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣶⣿⣿⣷⣬⡐⢶⣶⣶⡎⠉⣰⣦⣤⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⠾⣾⢿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠯⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢸

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 18:51, archived)
Because I get Shreked up and then I shits meself

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 19:02, archived)
I’m reading the comments on www.b3ta.com/talk
but they’re not very good, to be honest.
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 20:13, archived)
TOP. LEVEL. COMMENTS.

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 20:22, archived)
Just finished rereading the doomsday book
Slightly futuristic, set in Oxford, containing time travel to the black death and a modern pandemic. Bit weird, but I love it.
(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 0:23, archived)
after bollocks noon

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 14:32, archived)
Shit off, Trouser

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 15:10, archived)
shit a fuck out of your cunt

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 16:16, archived)
, dave

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 16:16, archived)
Happy Birthday, Prince Harry! 🎉🥳🍆💦🥰

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 16:11, archived)
thanks babe

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 16:15, archived)
Afternoon
Finally back in England
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 16:26, archived)
oh piss off

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 16:38, archived)
How's the cat? Glad/mad/indifferent?

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 17:50, archived)
THEY'RE EATING DOGS

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 23:33, archived)
I'm not picking him up till tomorrow

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 23:39, archived)
did you have a good time? it seemed very quick

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 23:21, archived)
Ten days
But yes, it flew by. I had a great time but I'm glad to be home
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 23:40, archived)
GOB ME OFF

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 19:49, archived)
gobs

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 20:12, archived)
Morning bollocks

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 7:46, archived)
bollocks morning

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 7:53, archived)
Isn't it

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 8:07, archived)
Fuck you, mr horrible, fuck you

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 7:56, archived)
morning

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 7:58, archived)
Morning

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 8:07, archived)
HA CHA CHA CHA

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 8:07, archived)
morning

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 9:17, archived)
SCROTE FRITTERS

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 8:07, archived)
CROTCH CRUMPETS

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 9:27, archived)
BUTTOCK BISCUITS

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 14:02, archived)
FANNY FLANS

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 17:41, archived)
FIST A DONKEY

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 8:44, archived)
MOLEST AN ASS

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 9:18, archived)
SMEGGIN' THEE STALLION

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 11:10, archived)
Smeggin' Markle

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 11:09, archived)
I've been driving in my car
Dee dee deeeee dee dee deeeee

It's a model three Tesla

Dee dee deeee dee dee deeee
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 11:46, archived)
I bought it from Carbase in Bristol. They are fantastic

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 11:48, archived)
Some guy tried to sell me paint protection. I didn't buy it.

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 11:52, archived)
^ Mad Lad
I bet you don’t have washing machine cover either
(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 12:05, archived)
alright

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 13:28, archived)
when do you get a free ride in a rocket an fuck off forever

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 14:45, archived)
🎊

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 12:02, archived)
teslas have killed motorbike men

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 14:19, archived)
alright 'The Buggles'

(, Mon 16 Sep 2024, 6:29, archived)
This is bollocks
I'm going to bed. No-one is allowed to have sexy dreams about me.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:32, archived)
They can all have sexy dreams about me instead
And awards for such great imagination
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:34, archived)
I’m in an Indian cafe and I’m very hungry and I’m starting to get upset
I ordered FULLY TWO MINUTES AGO
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:36, archived)
You need tiffin

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:37, archived)
You’re right I need to tiffen up

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:39, archived)
Chai

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:43, archived)
just reporting back, meal was great but here's the thing, they're eating dogs

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 0:09, archived)
, Trouser

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 0:59, archived)
I saw it on television, Dave

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 2:48, archived)
baby I'm not fiffin

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 11:03, archived)
Pēdīcābo ego vōs et irrumābō
My best post yet.
My liver hurts.
How are you all this evening?
We had a little birthday party for my sister with cake and everything. Even the Nonna next door came to the party. She's a Jehovahs witness so we didn't tell her it was a birthday party. Is that wrong?

Also: Whats happened to the doc? Haven't seen him for ages.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:45, archived)
Being a Jehovah's Witness makes you a gullible cunt
so fooling her by kindly inviting her to a birthday party is hardly the sum of what she deserves.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:47, archived)
She's a 90 year old lady and very sweet and kind

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:49, archived)
That's nice
She's still a gullible cunt.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:50, archived)
Are you an atheist then?

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:51, archived)
I'm a person who believes if I need a blood transfusion, I should have a blood transfusion
rather than die like a fucking Dark Ages moron.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:52, archived)
I did not know they don't do blood transfusions.

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:56, archived)
Isn't that the Mormons?
Sorry I don't know much about it.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:59, archived)
i think mechanics don't do them either

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 21:58, archived)
No that's just Mike

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:08, archived)
oh oh oh ohhhh oh oh oh ooooh

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:11, archived)
Great imagination

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:34, archived)
thanks babe xx

(, Sun 15 Sep 2024, 8:14, archived)
I tried to make an ascii picture of Bas Rutten doing his victory jump
but it was too shit to share, soz.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:59, archived)
Do you know where the doc went?
He was a nice bloke.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 20:00, archived)
The fake one?

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 20:08, archived)
Was he not a doc?

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 20:14, archived)
Well I don't care if he was a doc or not he was a nice fellow

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 20:33, archived)
Fucking cunts at wetherspoons test tasting ales like they're at an upper class west end establishment
'Nah I'll stick with the John Smiths thanks'

FUCKOFF
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 14:21, archived)
SUCK MY BALLS

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 14:25, archived)
FUCK SUCK MY BALLS OFF

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 14:26, archived)
Sexy

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:09, archived)
i love it when you talk xxx

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:28, archived)
It usually means I'm alive

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 22:35, archived)
My wristband is no longer valid
So I'm drinking lemonade while I wait for my coach
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 14:33, archived)
I'm in the garden of the Town of Ramsgate in Wapping
It's fucking lovely
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 14:53, archived)
Might go to the Prospect of Whitby next
Fuck the Captain Kidd, lovely building but Samuel Smiths pubs are well shit
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 14:56, archived)
Their beer is grim.

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 15:08, archived)
As is their wine, and their spirits

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 15:14, archived)
and their axe!

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 15:33, archived)
Their owner is a massive cunt too

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 15:14, archived)
That's me, m8

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 18:49, archived)
alright Humphrey you massive cunt

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 18:50, archived)
alright

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:43, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8423706
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 16:13, archived)
shut up captain bumguff

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:27, archived)
They do a good sausage roll on the Newhaven to Dieppe ferry
Where else does a good what?!
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 13:23, archived)
the m6 does a good traffic jam

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 13:42, archived)
My grandad said the return crossing from Dieppe is shit . Boats packed, noisy. No food .

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 13:59, archived)
Cheap beer tho

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 16:43, archived)
Ginger Pig sausage rolls cannot be bested

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 14:57, archived)
-be +fi

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:31, archived)
Dunno, soz.
I just tried to get google to translate 'you fucking love it' to Latin and the phrase it returned translated to 'and the rapists love him.'
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 17:39, archived)
That's because the word fuck did not exist back then
I imagine
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 18:59, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catullus_16
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:31, archived)
Crikey

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:41, archived)
Hi titmag's. it's me (Queef Richard's)
I've been trying to decide which of my impressions is my best. None of your lazy SirJimmeh, Caines or Connerys here. I'm niche 'eh eff'. I think it's a tossup between Mark 'Chopper' Read, and Pigsy off of 'Monkey!'.

Can you do hilarious impressions and if so, of whom? In a break from /chat traditional rules, in this instance you actually can say Hitler
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 11:53, archived)
My Justin Lee Collins is pretty fucking good also, ngl

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 11:58, archived)
I do a great impression of Rosie Jones, apparently to some it's deeply offensive.

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 11:58, archived)
Excellent, me too

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:03, archived)
Just please don't start doing them here, or I'll reflexively change the channel.

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:05, archived)
My sister does an incredible 'deaf person' impression
She'd be slung out of the old bill quick-smart if they heard it
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:20, archived)

slung out of the old bill promoted to Chief Constable
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:31, archived)
She's only a few grades below that already
The white sheep of the family
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 13:01, archived)
Not me personally,
but from the news today it looks like a partially-melted waxwork of Gary Busey would do a spot-on impression of Mike Jeffries.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 11:59, archived)
i do a great woody the woodpecker laugh

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:15, archived)
get it right ffs
the
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:23, archived)
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
hahahahahahahahaha
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:33, archived)
I do an amazing impression of the guy who owns the local Chinese restaurant

They say, Cheers you sound just like that Manc cunt Bob Thwaites
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:26, archived)
+ catgold

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:40, archived)
I do a pretty decent doctor zoidberg
and why not?
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:40, archived)
a feast is a feast!

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 16:58, archived)
I started doing this "fucking idiot" impression and now I can't stop

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:48, archived)
not sure lol

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:50, archived)
THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:50, archived)
*their

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:58, archived)

EA FIS
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 13:18, archived)
*DOG'S

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 14:59, archived)
THEIR FISTING THE DOG'S

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 19:43, archived)
morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 5:34, archived)
morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 5:41, archived)
morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 6:22, archived)
morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 5:55, archived)
morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 6:22, archived)
Morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 8:25, archived)
morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 8:26, archived)
morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 8:35, archived)
One of your parents has expressed an interest in Lord Baden-Powell and the Scout movement
Consequently, later today I intend to take your mum up 'Brownsea Island'
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 8:50, archived)
, Dave

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 8:52, archived)
Look above, at the pattern of "morning"...
YOU BROKE IT! I bet you don't even care! What has become of you, Queef's?
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 10:46, archived)
You've changed
Since the trouser thing
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 10:55, archived)
I'm incorrigible, Dave

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 11:27, archived)

inc ig +mr h
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 11:36, archived)
Good morning !
You stupid asshole
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 10:50, archived)
Still morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 10:51, archived)
morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 11:36, archived)
morning

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 12:50, archived)
Attention, of course!

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:50, archived)
Hi Dave

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:53, archived)
What if we don't?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 20:06, archived)
, Trouser

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 21:01, archived)
Bollocks

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 21:08, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8423569
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 21:13, archived)


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(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 21:15, archived)
, Dave

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 0:14, archived)
Imagine being upset
because you feel entitled to receive constant attention from people who genuinely can't stand you.

On the internet.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 22:31, archived)
What are you attempting here?
Is this your therapy session or something?
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 10:45, archived)
Maybe it's not obvious because you're ignoring/ignored by the people I'm talking about.
Even though this thread appears to be a direct reply to them.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 15:29, archived)
No I am just adding to any potential confusion.
Carry on.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 17:46, archived)
Roger, Trouser.

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 17:59, archived)
There seems to be a lot of that going around.

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 11:03, archived)
Perhaps it's age related.
Like, as people draw ever closer to death, their mindset reverts back to their mean schoolgirl stage.
(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 15:35, archived)
This whole page is a mean schoolgirl stage

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 18:58, archived)
Attention, Trouser

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 22:42, archived)
At ease, Dave

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 1:39, archived)
What, Dave?

(, Sat 14 Sep 2024, 0:12, archived)
brb, can i ask you a question?
why do you ignore half the board but still create (shit) top level comments?
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:55, archived)
it's a rhetorical question, obvs
we all know the answer
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 17:00, archived)
, Trouser

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 17:42, archived)
well, quite.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 17:43, archived)
Go fuck yourself.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:23, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8423598
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:24, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8423575
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:29, archived)
Can I ask you a question please?
If you were getting hard-core porn level sex but also STDs - keep going or not so much thank-you?
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:16, archived)
Gross. Get out.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:18, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8423604
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:18, archived)
Great movie tho

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:18, archived)
, Trouser

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:20, archived)
What sort of stds
Like, little bit of a rash or AIDs? And what sort of hard-core porn? Double fisting or continuous blowjobs?
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:19, archived)
Deep throat puking
+ chlamydia
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:20, archived)
I'd have to decline on both counts, but you carry on

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:21, archived)
FML

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:21, archived)
Charming

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:22, archived)
How come he gets a serious answer and I never get a serious answer

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:21, archived)
Because you're a cunt

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:21, archived)
My first serious answer!

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:23, archived)
shit up a gibbon you fart wrangling spacktard

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:25, archived)
Are you having some sort of fit?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:29, archived)
A bra fitting

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:30, archived)
Because you're an agenda assigning little fuck troll
Now puke down my balls you gonereah whore ;)
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:22, archived)
Oh don't bother to put the ;) there
I'm all grown up now
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:24, archived)
;)
^this was an invite to my aids party
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:25, archived)
I can handle most things
But not puke
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:30, archived)
imagine being sick the morning after accidentally eating a thousand living spiders in your sleep
and every time you throw up they run back into your mouth because it's now their home
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:14, archived)
or don't
up to you
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:38, archived)
I'll pass methinks

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:50, archived)
I'll pass as well thanks

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:53, archived)
They're not supposed to eat before they do that
That's just nasty
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:25, archived)
because he's a real boy

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:23, archived)
I thought tits was a girl

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:29, archived)
I am
b3ta.com/talk/8423615
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:32, archived)
A girl with balls

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:34, archived)
it's what we deserve

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:06, archived)
+t

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:06, archived)
And need

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:41, archived)
oh darling

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 19:48, archived)
Bugger me it's cold.
Where's my beautiful skidoo?
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:19, archived)
Your mother's mum's wank cunt shit bollocks fuck a horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt bollocks skidoo?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:19, archived)
Yeah why not

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:20, archived)
fuck off brb

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:40, archived)
everything you do is a balloon

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:48, archived)
I'm giving you till the count of orange to take that back.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 17:58, archived)
IT'S BEER COCK O'CLOCK COCK A DOODLE BEER

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:00, archived)
way ahead of you bro

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:06, archived)
oh yeah? how many beers have you got up your cock?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:22, archived)
-r

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:28, archived)
i'm inserted with bees!

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:30, archived)
Boo Bees
LOL tits
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:16, archived)
I'd rather have a nice glass of red wine

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:17, archived)
Racist bitch

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 18:18, archived)
BALLSWEAT

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 13:57, archived)
, Dave

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 14:23, archived)
Now I have to flip TWO tables...
┻━┻︵ヽ(`Д´)ノ︵ ┻━┻
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 14:37, archived)
( ´・ω・)っ✂╰⋃╯

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 14:40, archived)
Is it smellier than titsweat

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 14:40, archived)
asking the real questions here

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 14:46, archived)
, Trouser

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 14:52, archived)
You're queef and I'm buttfart
We make a pair
(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 15:04, archived)
How many bottles would you like?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 14:50, archived)
GUFFCHEESE

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 15:12, archived)
GUNTCHEESE

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 15:39, archived)
HELMSTENCH

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 15:41, archived)
TAINTSTINK

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 15:50, archived)
BELLREEK

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 16:05, archived)
WANKSMELL

(, Fri 13 Sep 2024, 17:28, archived)

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