b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Archive 14738 (Older | Newer)

Snowman Gang
Only weirdos pick the star.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 12:55, archived)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 13:19, archived)
^

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 31 Dec 2024, 13:25, archived)
^

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 14:30, archived)
^*^

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 14:39, archived)
I picked my star this morning

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 13:45, archived)
i'm a weirdo and i am a snowman
what gives
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 14:54, archived)
^ Thom Yorke's first Christmas-themed draft of Creep

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 14:55, archived)
what the hell am i doing here
certainly fits
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 15:23, archived)
Radioheadzzz

(piss and shit, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 19:32, archived)
MORNING!
At 04:30, I needed a poo, so now I am awake.

What important shit made you get up today?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 6:27, archived)
coffee

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 7:10, archived)
^

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 10:21, archived)
My boundless enthusiasm for life
also I needed a piss
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 7:48, archived)
An important lack of shit
on the part of my dog. 15 minutes outside with her at 6am and all she had was a pee.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 7:56, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Dec 2024, 9:06, archived)
I am much much better
Knee seems back to normal, stopped with the night sweats and I feel much improved. Still coughing an awful lot but it doesn’t hurt now. Happy New Year!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 9:53, archived)
Have you tried not being ill?
It's great.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 10:21, archived)
I've done that a couple of times
It was alright
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 11:45, archived)
I think I'll try a restorative drinkie instead

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 14:55, archived)

so now I am awake the very next day, I gave it away
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 10:21, archived)

Alright.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 12:12, archived)
Alright ocsp you weirdo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Dec 2024, 12:33, archived)
Just saw a couple of blokes get refused entry to Heron Foods.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Dec 2024, 12:56, archived)
never heard of them

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 31 Dec 2024, 15:31, archived)
AFTERNOON COCK GOBLINS
who was working today? i was but i was home early because i am rad.

now it's beer of the cock etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:13, archived)
I was not, so fuck you

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:30, archived)
oh shove a candle up your forkhole

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:51, archived)
And then bury all your clothes

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 20:10, archived)
I have a nice Viognier chilled in the fridge
- might make a cheeky spritzer!

How are you demonstrating your hardcore working class roots today?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:37, archived)
by getting home at 2pm
and drinking stella
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:52, archived)
Splendid!
I've just failed to put up some shelves, drilled through the mains, and now we have to call out a proper electrician.

What fun!
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 18:04, archived)
i know a geezer who will sort that for a monkey
edit: actually after doing some research that seems a bit expensive
let me know how my offer stands up once it's fixed
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 18:09, archived)
What is a monkey?
Aside from a large clade of primates?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 18:50, archived)
five hundred notes, m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 18:52, archived)
Fucking hell.
I was expecting more like a sparrow, or a gerbil.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 18:57, archived)
well, quite!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 19:00, archived)
What's an improper electrician?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 20:07, archived)
One of those guys in 1970s porno -
"I hear you need a big new fuse in your box, yeah?"
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 20:49, archived)
I'm at work right now IYKWIM

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:39, archived)
fnar

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:52, archived)
Managed to prescribe someone 500mcg of methylprednisolone instead of 500mg 2 weeks ago after misreading a neurology A&G response.
Pharmacy quite happily dispensed it, I feel they are just as much to blame in this.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 17:01, archived)
i hope you've since changed it to cannabis oil

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 17:04, archived)
Alright I'll give it a go. Do you think that will make their myelin grow back?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 17:21, archived)
100% (percentograms)

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 17:39, archived)
If they had any clinical reason to query the dose, then yes they are.
I've got lots of lolprescribing error stories, like the person who'd been getting meloxicam 15mg twice daily for until I queried it, and it turned out the hospital letter said "double the dose from 7.5mg daily to twice daily" and they quadrupled it by mistake. Without anyone apparently noticing that this was an overdose, for over two years.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 19:39, archived)
And not a single fuck was given

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 20:09, archived)
The fact that they instructed the patient to cut the already tiny lowest strength pills into quarters might have given them pause for thought.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 20:10, archived)
They were very quick to complain when I prescribed someone 1000g metformin TDS.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 20:12, archived)
I used chat gp now for my drug needs. It recommends enough to get me fucked analysing algorithms.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 20:31, archived)
SKY ROCKETS IN FLOBLINS +

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 17:56, archived)
Those dividends really do earn themselves.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 30 Dec 2024, 19:09, archived)
that's why i'm working 4 hour days

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 19:29, archived)

or an
+s
+ a
s
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 21:38, archived)
ARSEHOLE ASIAGO
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 12:56, archived)
GEOSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 12:57, archived)
G.E.O.S.T.O.R.M

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 13:25, archived)
"/ac" = ?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 30 Dec 2024, 13:20, archived)
it means "this post is fully air-conditioned"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 13:22, archived)
it means 'anus cheddar'

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 13:26, archived)
/ autism chat

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 13:57, archived)
definitely the closest answer so far

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 30 Dec 2024, 14:10, archived)
ass challenger

(piss and shit, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 14:00, archived)
D for damager

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:03, archived)
arseboon cilbaro

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:07, archived)
aemen chaidenko

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:40, archived)
Forever and Ever +

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:49, archived)
but I've already been to ARSEHOLE ASIA

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 15:04, archived)
Jimmy Carted Off

(piss and shit, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 22:35, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 1:00, archived)
Birthday bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 7:31, archived)
Jimmy CARKED IT

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 7:30, archived)
Jimmy Croaked

(I helped save b3ta! theniwokeup has been awake since, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 11:03, archived)
Stiffy Corpser

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 11:16, archived)
the penis with uncontrollable laughter

(piss and shit, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 11:40, archived)
Jimmy Fallon

(piss and shit, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 11:41, archived)
Bit chilly here
what with all the windows and doors being open.

I don't really care what the weather is like where you are, but I'm so polite that I'm asking anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 15:07, archived)
There’s definitely weather here

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 16:36, archived)
There's a lot of it about.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 18:20, archived)
Why doesn't it just fuck off back to where it came from, eh?
#HardBrexitNow
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 18:23, archived)
WE NEW WHAT WE WAS VOTING FOR

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 19:33, archived)
Are you trying warm up the neighbourhood?
Is climate change all your fault?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 19:43, archived)
You what?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 30 Dec 2024, 21:24, archived)
You can't hug a child with nuclear arms
There
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 21:31, archived)
Terrible bullying of the nuclear family, you woke wokester.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 22:24, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 29 Dec 2024, 8:56, archived)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 10:45, archived)
Wizzy-Wee

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 29 Dec 2024, 11:35, archived)
Um
Smeggy-Smee?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 19:42, archived)
sympathy reply

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 29 Dec 2024, 11:16, archived)
Yetterz

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 29 Dec 2024, 11:35, archived)
Dozington
This year's meme is apparently that the period between Christmas and the New Year, dubbed 'Merryneum' by Suzie Dent, is all about having consumed too much cheese and not knowing which day the bins go out. Feels a bit lazy to me.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 29 Dec 2024, 11:43, archived)
I just call it The Dead Zone.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 29 Dec 2024, 12:16, archived)
Hi ho

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 12:04, archived)
No

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 14:21, archived)
Squashing that penis down the page
We've been watching Studio Ghibli movies. I think I finally understood all of NausicaΓ€ - it was a bit overwhelming the first couple of times.

Previous years we marathoned Star Wars ( bonus drinking game - take a shot every time PadmΓ© changes costume) - but it's become too bloated to follow.
Just like the family after Xmas dinner, right?
Sorry.

What manner of in-between-days entertainment are you folks enjoying?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:02, archived)
anal

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:03, archived)
How much can you take?
Or are the selfish type?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:04, archived)
I love an extended visit to poundtown

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:21, archived)
Please stop posting on b3ta
Also if you could die.. that would be great
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:25, archived)
Bit harsh.
Season of goodwill and all that innit.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:49, archived)
Didn't answer my question, akshally.
Poundee or poundor?

Or poundland?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:55, archived)
A poundland poundee

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 19:03, archived)
Cheap!
But do you do mates rates?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 19:23, archived)
You what?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:37, archived)
I said:
Squashing that penis down the page
We've been watching Studio Ghibli movies. I think I finally understood all of NausicaΓ€ - it was a bit overwhelming the first couple of times.

Previous years we marathoned Star Wars ( bonus drinking game - take a shot every time PadmΓ© changes costume) - but it's become too bloated to follow.
Just like the family after Xmas dinner, right?
Sorry.

What manner of in-between-days entertainment are you folks enjoying?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:44, archived)
Eh?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 20:56, archived)
I said:
"I said:
Squashing that penis down the page
We've been watching Studio Ghibli movies. I think I finally understood all of NausicaΓ€ - it was a bit overwhelming the first couple of times.

Previous years we marathoned Star Wars ( bonus drinking game - take a shot every time PadmΓ© changes costume) - but it's become too bloated to follow.
Just like the family after Xmas dinner, right?
Sorry.

What manner of in-between-days entertainment are you folks enjoying?"

What part of that was giving you trouble?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 21:41, archived)
Excuse me?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 22:26, archived)
Well, I said:
"I said:
'I said:
Squashing that penis down the page
We've been watching Studio Ghibli movies. I think I finally understood all of NausicaΓ€ - it was a bit overwhelming the first couple of times.

Previous years we marathoned Star Wars ( bonus drinking game - take a shot every time PadmΓ© changes costume) - but it's become too bloated to follow.
Just like the family after Xmas dinner, right?
Sorry.

What manner of in-between-days entertainment are you folks enjoying?'

What part of that was giving you trouble?"

But I realise that with CTRL+C & +V, this may go on for some time.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 10:44, archived)
I beg your pardon?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 29 Dec 2024, 15:05, archived)
Why do you care?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 19:21, archived)
The well being of all my flock is my greatest concern
So, back to the question, Two Hats:

What manner of in-between-days entertainment are you folks enjoying?

ANSWER ME!
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 19:26, archived)
sleep

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 19:25, archived)
Being ill as fuck
and not in the Beastie Boys sense
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 20:43, archived)
Urgh, bogus

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 21:44, archived)
I see the renegade master is back once again

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 21:45, archived)
Watching 'Mars Express' tonight

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 20:57, archived)
Right!
Bed time.

See you fuckers in the morning.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 22:13, archived)
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.

Trycoxagain.
(Planearm, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 17:01, archived)
Yeah, they just need a good seeing-to, right lads?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 17:08, archived)
phwoar! yeah i should cocoa!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 17:19, archived)
So no more lesbian pr0n then?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 28 Dec 2024, 17:23, archived)
How much horror can you fit in one "joke"?
Drug rape, conversion therapy, homophobia...
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 17:34, archived)
Oh it was a joke was it?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 28 Dec 2024, 17:44, archived)
Who can tell?
I'm trying to assume the best intentions.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 17:52, archived)
Are you drunk, or just a cunt?
I mean, I don't post moronic shit like this even when I'm drunk, so that narrows it down a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 17:56, archived)
Aye, there's a new class A on the go in Aberdeen, kenfitamine!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:00, archived)
There's a new anti-epileptic too, Fitwhynae

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:14, archived)
HELMET CHEDDAR
No offence
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 14:21, archived)
Glansleydale

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 14:35, archived)
Mini Babybellend

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 28 Dec 2024, 14:57, archived)
Man-chego

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 28 Dec 2024, 15:10, archived)
Cumembert

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 28 Dec 2024, 15:13, archived)
Also, calm down Spanishfly.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 28 Dec 2024, 16:08, archived)
Cockforte

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 28 Dec 2024, 16:12, archived)
Gooch gouda, m8.
Gooch gouda.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 15:05, archived)
Fuck You
Good Christmas?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 28 Dec 2024, 15:09, archived)
Yeah, until you showed up.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:00, archived)
Gas yourself and your cunt mother too
Happy new year
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:04, archived)
Cheers mate xx

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 18:35, archived)
Stinking Bishops Hat

(I helped save b3ta! Jimvin dropped plates on your arse at, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 21:21, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 9:22, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8434199
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 9:24, archived)
FUCK OFF THEN

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 11:19, archived)
Not you.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 12:46, archived)
FINE

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 12:48, archived)
Surely not.
Again?
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 10:58, archived)
Hi yetso

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 11:03, archived)
Smeggs

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 11:07, archived)
Making jokes about Public Enemy is harder than you think.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 11:31, archived)
I'd probably get that reference if I listened to hip-hop.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 28 Dec 2024, 11:47, archived)
Best present you received this year:
So far mine is an electric air duster!

You can't say Hitler or money.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 20:42, archived)
Robert Graves' The White Goddess
- very nerd.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 20:43, archived)
brb klaxxxon..?
Never heard of it so I just read the wiki page and now feel like I know less than I did before.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 21:56, archived)
It's quite a dense read.
I'm making slow progress, keep dozing off - especially after all the mince pies.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 13:28, archived)
A nice velvet jacket to replace the virtually identical one I already have which is looking a bit tatty.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 27 Dec 2024, 21:14, archived)
Well okay there Fancy Dan

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 21:50, archived)
Hardly get any Christmas presents at work any more. The newspapers seem to have convinced everyone that GPs are overpaid lazy gits.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 22:42, archived)
lol, says the doctor who drives a Tesla and finds time to post on /talk most days
My back surgeon had a huge homemade fruit cake on his desk from a grateful patient at our first consultation; count yourself lucky or seethe with envy.
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wβ‚’β‚™β‚–y, wₐα΅₯y wβ‚’β‚™dβ‚‘α΅£, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 11:33, archived)
Second hand 2020 tesla with 80k miles on it bought for 13k
Admittedly by far the most I've ever spent on a car.

Your a huge homemade fruit cake
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 12:46, archived)
Bird feeder with a camera, just put it up now.
There's a non-zero possibility that it'll catch our local sparrowhawk snatching a sparrow, that's what I want pictures of.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 11:50, archived)
I got a nature camera thing too
weird looking multi-directional plastic thing you strap to a tree. Not nearly as exciting as an electric air duster.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 15:42, archived)
Hello Guffballs

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 19:03, archived)
Alright

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 19:04, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 28 Dec 2024, 9:15, archived)
Hello Faffballs

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 19:09, archived)
GUNTSMEG

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 19:30, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 27 Dec 2024, 7:38, archived)
morning
at work lol, farting about doing next year's production schedule spreadsheet rofl
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 8:53, archived)
Hello
I am less unwell. This bout of flu has kept me very immobile though so my knee is much improved. Silver linings and al that.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 9:54, archived)
Shitting yourself inside out?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 27 Dec 2024, 10:09, archived)
Nop
Bowels unchanged.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 15:14, archived)
morning
didn't cut my toe nails for three months, bloody socks.
(I helped save b3ta! theniwokeup has been awake since, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 11:10, archived)
I ate so much goat's cheese yesterday that this morning's first piss of the day had a markedly nutty aroma

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 27 Dec 2024, 13:56, archived)
My morning dump smelt of Christmas pudding, looked like one too

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 14:38, archived)
Poo-ding!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 27 Dec 2024, 14:38, archived)
Figgi
Puddi
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 15:14, archived)
What was the white stuff on top of it?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 27 Dec 2024, 16:15, archived)
Snow

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 17:30, archived)
A licky boom-boom down

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 17:56, archived)
He dun a shit and all spunk came out his anis

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 17:59, archived)
yule log

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 16:29, archived)
Yule Brynner

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 17:28, archived)
^ Yule Rimmer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 19:10, archived)
I see /calendar has been invaded by spambots again

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 18:57, archived)
Excellent, that's the best thing to happen all year.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 19:27, archived)
I'd completely forgotten about /calendar, do I need to organise some after partys?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 27 Dec 2024, 23:28, archived)
apart from Garold
who else has some of the most unappreciative relatives in existence?
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 13:58, archived)
I'm guessing you do.
Just a hunch.
(Planearm, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 14:05, archived)
yup. just threw my toys out of the pram
full bore no filter
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 14:18, archived)
All bore, more like

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 26 Dec 2024, 14:52, archived)
zzZZZzzzzzbeezzZZZZzzz

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 14:57, archived)
Alright Ian

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 26 Dec 2024, 14:52, archived)
no real Ians please

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 15:17, archived)
Oh yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 15:52, archived)
They’re not even my cunting relatives
I’d never met any of the fuckers until my friend’s funeral. I’m just an unpaid admin carrying out her wishes.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 22:30, archived)
Why am I here instead of her?
She has children, she even has a granddaughter, I have nothing but cats. I should have died instead of her.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 22:39, archived)
Your annual reminder
That I love you all and that Chump Manbear exists.
(I helped save b3ta! Jimvin dropped plates on your arse at, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 1:32, archived)
Fuck you

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 6:25, archived)
mr h

(I helped save b3ta! djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 8:37, archived)
Boxing Day Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 8:25, archived)
Boxing Day+bollocks=Bollocks
Maybe yours will catch on
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 8:36, archived)
+fire

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 8:37, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8384546
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 13:03, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 8:55, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 9:21, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 9:30, archived)
'ning

(I helped save b3ta! theniwokeup has been awake since, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 11:33, archived)
Did I ever tell you
I've never watched Gavin & Stacey.
(Planearm, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 13:56, archived)
yes. 12 times.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 14:23, archived)
Me neither.
James Cordon.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 15:40, archived)
Oh, sit down next to it.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 18:19, archived)
I've never watched Sesame Street either,
so I feel excluded from both /board and /garoldsblog.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 18:52, archived)
Amish upbringing?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 19:22, archived)
No, my parents weren't keen on it. Too Americanized.
Mum was a maths teacher, may be why. The Muppet Show was fine though.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 20:10, archived)
Why haven't you got caught up on it since?
I'd say you require cultural awareness of 12, Big Bird, The Count, Oscar, Bert & Ernie, and Elmo.

Big Bird nearly died in the Challenger disaster, btw.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 20:18, archived)
Because I'm not a stunted man-child, I suppose.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 20:26, archived)
You should not feel guilt for enjoying childish things.
Accepting your own childishness is a vital part of maturing. It does you no good to pretend to be the childish idea of what an adult is.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 20:37, archived)
It's not up to me to explain why I haven't caught up with Sesame Street.
It's up to you to explain why I should, and so far your failure is complete.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 22:12, archived)
You wouldn't feel excluded from the IC or Garoldsblog
or as culturally excluded in general. You'd be in with the in crowd. Indoors where the cool cats hide.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 23:04, archived)
I'm not taking any more drugs for the rest of the year!
I can do 6 days... right?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Wed 25 Dec 2024, 21:55, archived)
no

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:16, archived)
I feared as much

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:29, archived)
Are you high?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:23, archived)
Are you police?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:29, archived)
ACAB

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:36, archived)
Then yes
I am high AF
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:38, archived)
Ah, massive drugs.
Where would we be without them?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:24, archived)
Medium drugs
Family and that
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:30, archived)
Drugs are bad
Mmm kay
(Smug Bastard LOL, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:55, archived)
Played Consequences with my family and they did an accidental racism.
One of them came out as: Kamala Harris met [my nephew]. She said "I like you" and he said "it's OK, I like chocolate". As a consequence, they moved to Dunoon.

Should I cancel my family?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 23:50, archived)
Yes. So that I can move to Dunoon with Kamala.

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 26 Dec 2024, 6:27, archived)
piss off you boring christmas wankers

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 19:10, archived)
ps. bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 19:36, archived)
Wife's just had her traditional Christmas fight with my family and gone to bed.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 20:36, archived)
Who won ?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 20:42, archived)
Jesus

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Wed 25 Dec 2024, 20:43, archived)
Christ

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 20:49, archived)
HEY POOR! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE POOR ANYMORE! JESUS IS HERE!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 25 Dec 2024, 20:55, archived)
Not sure jesus ever had any economical policies for the poor.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 21:27, archived)
Bollocks
He had loads
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Wed 25 Dec 2024, 21:57, archived)
that was fish

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:17, archived)
Pollocks

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:30, archived)
Fish pun ^
Off the scale
(Smug Bastard LOL, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:54, archived)
Left my brothers house and drove for 40 minutes
Left phone at brothers u-turn correct use of the term BOLLOCKS
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (β—‹¥β—‹) (β€―Νœβ‚’ γ……β€―Νœ β‚’), Wed 25 Dec 2024, 20:42, archived)
+ let nothing you dismay

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Wed 25 Dec 2024, 21:16, archived)
MC
MC
(Smug Bastard LOL, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:55, archived)
Christmas cunt, mistletoe and gun't

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 16:10, archived)
Having my traditional post-Christmas dinner meaty shit

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 16:19, archived)
Yo, gonna get my just eats Xmas dinner soon.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 16:41, archived)
I'm at my brother's house and it's fucking freezing
Turn the heating up you tight wanker
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 17:10, archived)
No.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 25 Dec 2024, 19:46, archived)
I always suspected Queef Richards
Was Cliff Pilchards
(Smug Bastard LOL, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 22:57, archived)
Fuck off it's Christmas
alt: fuck off anyway
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 25 Dec 2024, 14:21, archived)
MMMMNEURRGH I AM A FESTIVE SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY PUD-PUD FROM OTHER FESTIVE SPAZZES

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 25 Dec 2024, 15:52, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »