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Saw the petition and drew this

Petition: epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/1230 No creationism in state funded schools
Picture:

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 19:52, archived)

At no point did we evolve feet then? BLASPHEMER! BURN THE SCIENCE-HERETIC!

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taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 19:54, archived)

but as you can see our common ancestors also didn't have feet

science remains

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 19:55, archived)

also, stage 2 is Wayne Rooney

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 19:55, archived)

I think stage 1 is more like him

or perhaps stage 1 is a younger, hairier and more youthfully optimistic Rooney, and stage 2 is how he looks now - balding, stockier and with the serious gaze of a man in the prime of his career. And the whole thing represents Rooney's life cycle, and he'll be fully human by the time he's 60.

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:04, archived)

Past 60, will he turn into a star-chld, and then back into single-celled organic matter?

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:29, archived)

Probably

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:08, archived)

Back?

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Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Tue 17 Jul 2012, 0:21, archived)

I like how the second one along has got a little stone age cornetto..

(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 19:58, archived)

I think you'll find it's a calippo

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:01, archived)

It'll take some sucking whichever it is.....

(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:04, archived)

a line I use often

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:21, archived)

The ice cream man must love you ;-)

(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:30, archived)

especially when I ask for crushed nuts

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:32, archived)

Just don't accept if he offers sauce...

(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:34, archived)

he does a lovely plum coulis

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:39, archived)

actually our ice-cream man is stone deaf

and he plays his fucking chimes at mega-ear splitting volume.

I don't know which fact is the cause of the other

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:00, archived)

Shouts "I WANT A LOLLY GOBBLE CHOC BOMB"!

(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:10, archived)

Walls shoud so make that

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:33, archived)

*salivates*

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maggenspies mayhaps, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 23:32, archived)

no wai

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atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:01, archived)

the second from the left looks like your self portrait :)

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The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:03, archived)

Ha Ha...it sure does.

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atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:08, archived)

Excellent drawing!

I like evolution and science.

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:05, archived)

Too right.

It'd seem condescending to say their minds aren't developed enough for them to develop their own opinion on the world, but I do think established, tested and proved evidence of how the universe works, and how we as a species developed, isn't taught enough in schools.

I used to read a lot of books on the subject when I was a nipper, and would tell the others in my class about it all. I blew their minds. XD

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:07, archived)

To be absurdly hyperbolic, this fills me with extreme alarm

There is no way the basics of evolutionary theory are beyond a seven year old, same as the basics of literacy, numeracy and electronics are not beyond them. By the time you're in secondary school it's ridiculous to think people can't understand it. It boils down to "Does this mutation make it easier for someone to eat and find someone to fuck? Yes: mutation is favoured. No: mutation is disfavoured. And then we end up with giraffes and mice."

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:20, archived)

But then, but THEN,

if we start teaching children about animal breeding at such a tender age, they might get the wrong idea and all grow up to be zoophiliacs! And produce weird animal-human hybrids, which would be even more confusing! No, we have to tell them all the baby animals are delivered by storks until they're at least fourteen, otherwise they'll all be on farms trying to make their own baby sheep! You know what kids are like these days!

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:25, archived)

clearly this is what should happen: www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZ983dbDrng

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:27, archived)

Can't they put that camera on a fucking table or something?!

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Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:01, archived)

I know, I tried to find a better video

but it was taking too long. The only one that's half decent has about 30 seconds of pointless shite before it starts and is then subtitled in Spanish.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:03, archived)

Fair enough

Worth the linkage anyway :)

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Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Mon 16 Jul 2012, 23:22, archived)

I know right?

I admit, I'm no Kubrick, but I could think of a more sensible recording technique than this.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:05, archived)

WELL NEXT TIME I'LL UPLOAD MY OWN FUCKING DVD RIP RATHER THAN RELYING ON RANDOM MORONS ON YOUTUBE

Jesus. Honestly.

Edit: Wow.

"
Well, I'm not gonna "argue," but let me say this:

The Resurrection (where Jesus rose from the dead three days removed from his crucifixion) is just much a concretely proven historical event as the crucifixion itself.

Therefore, Christianity is valid. Period.
"

Yes, you've totally convinced me! The Resurrection is just as much a concretely proven historical event as the crucifixion itself! True, I've never seen any evidence that the crucifixion ever occurred, nor that Jesus ever existed - though that one's opening a massive can of worms because people don't seem to like to accept that there's zero evidence for him, absolutely zero - but that doesn't invalidate anything you said!

OK I'm going to shut up about this before I get into an argument with anyone :)

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:06, archived)

Sorry! Don't hit! D:

I know it's not your fault. I went looking for a clip from the Simpsons which was either in German or contained a grand total of about 17 pixels. Was well gutted.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:09, archived)

yo totally joking here man

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:10, archived)

I know, I know. ^^

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:19, archived)

GOOD

CUNT

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:24, archived)

Christmas is ruined

Thanks to YOU, Boris

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:12, archived)

Christmas is all about Santa Claus!

South Park teaches me everything, and one thing it teaches me is that Christmas is about Santa. Even Jesus says so!

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:13, archived)

Nuh-uh, Christmas is ruined because of the Grinch.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:22, archived)

but if you are never taught that before secondary school

and instead have fluffy hymns during infant school assembly and RE lessons once a week, it's unsurprising how a large percentage of the british population are slightly brainwashed in to the Christian belief system (or at least were being so up until I was about 13)

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but never forget children are incredibly easy to mould if you only provide certain information

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:27, archived)

Oh, I know that very well

I went to a C of E primary school myself. I'm meaning there's no physical reason seven year olds can't understand the basics of evolution - their brains are perfectly developed enough. Reality is a different thing :(

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:29, archived)

indeed

was the moment you realised you had been pointlessly lied to as infuriating and enlightening as it was when I realised?

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:40, archived)

Actually, no, surprisingly

though in my early 20s I did go through a fairly typical period of strong anti-Christianity and went around the internet trying to convince hardline creationists that actually those of us studying cosmology *did* know more about it than them. I gave up when I found you just don't get anywhere talking with these idiots.

But I didn't seem to have a sudden, infuriating enlightenment. I just seemed to have a gentle slide into amused disbelief when I went through the Bible properly, reading it word for word. If more people did that we'd have fewer "Christians" in the world.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:43, archived)

absolutely, or at least I assume so

I probably had 7 years of subliminal "religious education" (quotation marks because it wasn't it was Christian brainwashing) but at no point recall reading from an actual bible.

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:49, archived)

I don't recall a single Bible being used at primary school

We were given Gideon's copies of the Gospels in an Assembly once but it wasn't even by the school and I don't know if the headteacher appreciated it. I also firmly believe that next to no Christians read the Bible - at best, they read the Gospels, which are a tiny fragment of the entire book - and pretend they've read the Epistles, but evidently haven't since they argue that Christianity is not anti-gay (it is; or at least it is if we're being told that Paul was divinely inspired) or anti-woman (it is; same reasons). And even those who have read the Epistles and somehow reconciled them with not being a total cunt argue that the Old Testament is irrelevant.

How is it irrelevant? If it's irrelevant, why is it two thirds of the Bible? And where in the OT does it ever say that the "Law" can be "fulfilled", and what the fuck does it mean to "fulfill" a Law in the first place? Christ openly contradicts himself when he talks about the Law, both saying it will never be overturned "until the Kingdom is come" (which it clearly isn't), and also saying that it's not important because only Christ is important. Because that doesn't sound big-headed.

Pah. PAH.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:02, archived)

I agree with pretty much all of this

Particularly: "I gave up when I found you just don't get anywhere talking with these idiots."

Although I quite like it when Jehovah's Witnesses turn up, if I'm in a good mood sometimes I just chat to them, doing my best to keep the conversation light-hearted, which isn't that difficult really.

When some friends and myself read through a bit of Genesis (we wanted to write a parody: The Bad News Bible...probably bindun) we couldn't stop laughing, it just didn't make sense.

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Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:08, archived)

Should've carried on into Leviticus and Deuteronomy

Then you, too, could find a law that should still govern every Christian nation: if someone digs a hole and someone else's donkey falls into it, the first man should pay the second for a donkey. Also, don't fuck your mum. Or your sister. Or your cousin. But if your brother dies, God commands you to fuck your sister-in-law. And if someone's raped in a city, kill her, she should have shouted for help.

You might have fun going to the Skeptics Annotated Bible and meandering through the Absurdities section. There's some pretty absurd things in the Bible. One I quite like is somewhere there - a believer can drink poison without being poisoned. Next time someone's really irritating you, challenge them to drink arsenic. The Bible says they'll be fine!

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:12, archived)

I think I've figured out my next holiday reading material

Cheers :D

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Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Mon 16 Jul 2012, 22:45, archived)

I met someone last year in university who'd never even heard of evolution. No shit.

But yeah, as a child, I'd get stuck into any book about the typical boy-wonder topics, such as space, dinosaurs, etc. My late uncle would lend me loads of books that explained all this on a more scientific level, which all in all, is much more awe-inspiring and wonderful than a dusty old concept with nothing to back it up.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:28, archived)

my daughter gets a thorough lesson on facts v myths every now and again

to counter the enforced collective worship bullshit she gets in primary school

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:36, archived)

Hopefully by the time I have kids (let's ballpark it, 10-15 years from now, maybe)

this shit would have been wiped completely off the slate, and schools might consider teaching kids, holy shit, FACTS.

And if that's not the case, I'd certainly teach him/her what I learned by getting out there and doing some fucking reading.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:47, archived)

they are bound to have eradicated it within 15 years

after all they've only been teaching it for about 900 years in schools! ;D

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:57, archived)

It's a long shot, I admit. XD

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:01, archived)

use a telescopic sight

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:06, archived)

Might want to account for windage and the Earth's rotation too.

I mean, uhh...

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:08, archived)

It's very alarming

Then again I was a real nerd (guess what? still am) and would sit there reading through books that were basically children's science encyclopedias covering history and science. Same kind of thing as you, I think.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:37, archived)

Yeah, totally.

You say you went to a C of E primary school? Unfortunately so did I, and the libraries didn't have a single book covering basic astronomy, palaeontology or ancient biology. I'd have to bring in some of my uncle's books from home, from time to time. Sure, I did get a reputation of being a nerd (which followed me right through high school too), but I couldn't give less of a shit. I don't want to believe, I want to know.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:43, archived)

My primary school was actually very good

They played down all the Christian stuff and while I don't remember being taught much astronomy or science (was anyone at primary school?) we did generally have a very good, broad education with so far as I can tell the minimum of Christian stuff. I wouldn't say it was secular but I think it was as non-pushy as any C of E school could be, even with the obligatory Church attendance once or twice a year, and the tedious "Let's all draw a picture of Jesus walking on the waves!" that you sometimes had. Actually the best primary school in the area - at least when I was there.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:46, archived)

To my old school's credit, they did teach us about other religions, like Bhuddism, Judaism, etc.

Didn't really appreciate the whole assembly thing every week though.
I remember going to the headmaster to ask about a possible Halloween party of some kind, but he insisted it was a "Satanic holiday" and would be disallowed. What utter shit.

I do remember having a few teachers who didn't go for the whole religion thing either, and would discuss it with them, about the only part of primary school I enjoyed.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:51, archived)

I get the distinct impression that our headteacher didn't give too much of a toss about religion

Some of the teachers did but the headteacher seemed - well, not normal, I think she's probably one of the more eccentric people in the village, but at least very rational and inclined towards education rather than indoctrination. I think ours was one of the few primary schools in the area where even utter idiots came out able to read, write, more or less spell, and add up. I know that doesn't sound like much of a claim to fame, but it genuinely is.

I didn't mind Assembly every week. Pretend to sing a song, sit there not listening for twenty minutes or so, go into class. I honestly cannot remember what they were about. Maybe that's where all the religion stuff was dumped...

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:05, archived)

Most of the teachers seemed not to give a rat's arse; it was all about the job, I guess.

The supply teachers were something to behold though; some of the most bat-shit crazy, and in a way, scariest people you could ever hope to meet. I could see why they weren't proper teachers, I'll say that much.

Assembly wasn't *too* much of a hassle, but I just felt like I could have been doing other stuff in the time being, because I wasn't learning much about... well, anything.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:15, archived)

You were learning how to deal with tedious meetings that are keeping you from doing anything else

Vital preparation for a working life.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:17, archived)

I've fallen asleep at such meetings in college, etc.

I really didn't learn anything, did I?

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:20, archived)

Should've paid more attention. Or less. Whichever.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:24, archived)

Whatever it was I did, I'll assume it worked. :D

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:33, archived)

Signed

religious cretins

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Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:07, archived)

alright Jahled

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:26, archived)

Gruffi!

Evening mate :)

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Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:30, archived)

I did enjoy the little debate over that pic I posted on FB!

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:33, archived)

Me and my diseased brain

Edit: Oh that one. I stand by everything I said

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Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:44, archived)

Kickballers v Troops

and my mate Kevin

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:58, archived)

Hahahaha

Your mate Kev has a bit to learn about reality. The world is not a particularly pleasant place

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Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:16, archived)

God took the last one's chin away.

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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:14, archived)

he probably created a female mate for him from it

or a gay lover

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:15, archived)

I particularly like the way that a petition about an important aspect of education

has such pisswankingly awful grammar.

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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:21, archived)

Haha

I just went and looked at it - you're quite right. I'm not signing anything evidently written by an idiot, even if he is on my side on this.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:25, archived)

hahaha, yes, better to be pedantic

than demand children aren't brainwashed

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:29, archived)

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for keeping creationism out of schools

I'm also for stopping being so nice to the little darlings and forcing them to do some fucking work and learn something. Literature, languages, maths, physics, biology, chemistry, electronics - all of it vital, all of it horribly undertaught, and in my own field I can at least categorically say standards have slumped since at least 1990 (I got my GCSEs in 1996, I'm part of the failed generation too).

But to be honest I don't think signing e-petitions will get anywhere - if the Houses of Parliament do debate them, it's at a time when almost no-one is there and nothing is done; and if I sign a petition I'd rather it's at least been proof-read. Otherwise the irony of complaining about a lack of education in English that proves you neither know nor care about grammar is fairly self-defeating.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:32, archived)

according the the creationist's definition of the word 'science'

rocket science implies that God made rockets fully formed around 1232 CE

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:24, archived)

and besides

the phrase should really be rocket engineering or rocket technology

I'll get me coat

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:26, archived)

what are you some kind of brain doctorer?

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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:28, archived)

GOD MADE THE BRAIN

IT NEEDS NO INTERFERENCE FROM MERE MEN

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:31, archived)

Yay, lully pic :)

I learnt all I needed to know about this subject from that Fatboy Slim video...
Less facetiously, I've always been astonished that schools are allowed to teach things that can't be proven - it's brainwashing on a very fundamental level. "Oh, but if we don't teach religion, what do we do if one of the children asks us how the universe began?"
Tell them 'We don't know.' How hard can it be?

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The Silent Channel is getting his recommended 5-a-day, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:36, archived)

what an incredibly badly written proposal

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mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:40, archived)

which nicely proves there is no intelligent designer

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:45, archived)

This.

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LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:13, archived)

Brillant :O)

(Larue J'aime le Pâté Chinois, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 20:42, archived)

obligagtory post about Dawkins in an evolution v creationism thread

www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2012/07/16/new-genus-of-south-asian-fish-named-after-richard-dawkins/

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:05, archived)

I am going to argue about this on Facebook

STAT!

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LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:10, archived)

nice pic, shame about the qotfw thread that came with it

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Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:13, archived)

I'm sorry. I'll shut up now.

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boris the spider, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:15, archived)

haha :P

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Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 21:21, archived)