A reply for Topic I Love HorsesHORSE ENTHUSIASTS
I have noticed in my recent driving experiences a slew of,
annoying horse-related bumper stickers on the cars around me.
'Happiness is Riding a Horse', 'We're Horse People',
or my least favorite of all, 'Ask me about my Horse! (Have you got all day?)'.
And as I was viewing all these stupid little slogans
, it occurred to me: I don't like horses.
It's not even so much a problem I have with the animals themselves,
as it is with 'horse people' who adore them so much.
I hate those fuckers. With a passion.
You know the type, those obnoxious rich assholes,
who talk about their horse as if it's a real person.
Who have stupid nonsensical racing names for their horse
(whether it races or not) like 'Happy Bucky Glitterstar' ,
or 'Tapioca Pudding and Lots of Blood'.
Their entire lives revolve around some smelly fucking beast of an animal.
And they try to gloat and brag about their beautiful little horse,
as if anybody else could give half a shit about it.
Oftentimes these horse enthusiasts are spoiled young rich girls,
who are still in high school and are so 'elite' that they don't have any real friends,
save the horse they have enslaved into a life of manual labor and circus show amusements.
And they always, ALWAYS,
have pictures and posters of unicorns plastered all over their bedroom.
Oh, they adore those magnificent unicorns.
Well, let me tell you something about your precious,
sweet, pure-as-fallen-snow unicorns: they have a WEAPON OF DEATH on the top,
of their fucking heads! If unicorns existed,
what do you THINK they would use the horn for? To stand around and look pretty??
No, they would use the horn to STAB their enemies into oblivion. It would be cool,
if unicorns WERE real though, as I'm sure fights between them would be a truly bloody affair.
My roommate told me about some horse riding class he took in college,
and how all the horses were angry beasts who tried to ,
kick and bite anyone who came within ten feet of them.
He also told me that they were walking shit factories,
and leave a brown trail behind just about everywhere they go.
It is for this reason that horses aren't very good at hiding.
Horses also apparently have halitosis that can kill,
if one is exposed to it long enough.
These stories my roommate told me got me interested in doing some further research on my own,
to learn more about these hideous, awful beasts, and I uncovered some interesting information.
So to avoid keeping you in suspense any longer, here are some TRUE HORSE FACTS:
Horses taste great. In fact, odds are you've had horse meat and don't even know it.
In about 24% of all instances in which you order beef,
you are likely to actually get horse instead!
Horses are extremely unintelligent animals,
scoring just under cows and right above salmon on standardized animal intelligence tests.
Horses will bathe in water if you let them,
but they always prefer to immerse themselves in raw sewage,
to make the stench of their bad breath seem less noticeable.
Horses are wildly horny beasts,
and if you should ever find yourself walking by one with no pants on,
be warned: they WILL fuck you.
Horses are insatiable carnivores,
and their favorite food in the entire world happens to be human babies.
Nearly 300 human deaths a year result from leaving newborn children,
unattended by the horse's pen.
Horses are all evil MINIONS OF SATAN.
Want proof? Every horse has a birthmark,
in the form of either a '666' or 'grinning Devil giving the thumb's up',
somewhere on their body.
Usually you have to shave the horse bald to uncover this infernal blemish.
Horses, in league with Lex Luthor,
plotted and conspired to paralyze Superman from the neck down.
It is for these reasons that I have come to despise horses and their owners.
Truly these unwholesome beasts must be eradicated immediately,
for the safety of everyone who might encounter them.
So please, if you know anyone who has a horse,
or if you see any horses, confiscate them and take them to the glue factory right away.
You'll be doing everyone a tremendous favor.
antihorse girl
[email protected]
(,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:56,
archived)
I have noticed in my recent driving experiences a slew of,
annoying horse-related bumper stickers on the cars around me.
'Happiness is Riding a Horse', 'We're Horse People',
or my least favorite of all, 'Ask me about my Horse! (Have you got all day?)'.
And as I was viewing all these stupid little slogans
, it occurred to me: I don't like horses.
It's not even so much a problem I have with the animals themselves,
as it is with 'horse people' who adore them so much.
I hate those fuckers. With a passion.
You know the type, those obnoxious rich assholes,
who talk about their horse as if it's a real person.
Who have stupid nonsensical racing names for their horse
(whether it races or not) like 'Happy Bucky Glitterstar' ,
or 'Tapioca Pudding and Lots of Blood'.
Their entire lives revolve around some smelly fucking beast of an animal.
And they try to gloat and brag about their beautiful little horse,
as if anybody else could give half a shit about it.
Oftentimes these horse enthusiasts are spoiled young rich girls,
who are still in high school and are so 'elite' that they don't have any real friends,
save the horse they have enslaved into a life of manual labor and circus show amusements.
And they always, ALWAYS,
have pictures and posters of unicorns plastered all over their bedroom.
Oh, they adore those magnificent unicorns.
Well, let me tell you something about your precious,
sweet, pure-as-fallen-snow unicorns: they have a WEAPON OF DEATH on the top,
of their fucking heads! If unicorns existed,
what do you THINK they would use the horn for? To stand around and look pretty??
No, they would use the horn to STAB their enemies into oblivion. It would be cool,
if unicorns WERE real though, as I'm sure fights between them would be a truly bloody affair.
My roommate told me about some horse riding class he took in college,
and how all the horses were angry beasts who tried to ,
kick and bite anyone who came within ten feet of them.
He also told me that they were walking shit factories,
and leave a brown trail behind just about everywhere they go.
It is for this reason that horses aren't very good at hiding.
Horses also apparently have halitosis that can kill,
if one is exposed to it long enough.
These stories my roommate told me got me interested in doing some further research on my own,
to learn more about these hideous, awful beasts, and I uncovered some interesting information.
So to avoid keeping you in suspense any longer, here are some TRUE HORSE FACTS:
Horses taste great. In fact, odds are you've had horse meat and don't even know it.
In about 24% of all instances in which you order beef,
you are likely to actually get horse instead!
Horses are extremely unintelligent animals,
scoring just under cows and right above salmon on standardized animal intelligence tests.
Horses will bathe in water if you let them,
but they always prefer to immerse themselves in raw sewage,
to make the stench of their bad breath seem less noticeable.
Horses are wildly horny beasts,
and if you should ever find yourself walking by one with no pants on,
be warned: they WILL fuck you.
Horses are insatiable carnivores,
and their favorite food in the entire world happens to be human babies.
Nearly 300 human deaths a year result from leaving newborn children,
unattended by the horse's pen.
Horses are all evil MINIONS OF SATAN.
Want proof? Every horse has a birthmark,
in the form of either a '666' or 'grinning Devil giving the thumb's up',
somewhere on their body.
Usually you have to shave the horse bald to uncover this infernal blemish.
Horses, in league with Lex Luthor,
plotted and conspired to paralyze Superman from the neck down.
It is for these reasons that I have come to despise horses and their owners.
Truly these unwholesome beasts must be eradicated immediately,
for the safety of everyone who might encounter them.
So please, if you know anyone who has a horse,
or if you see any horses, confiscate them and take them to the glue factory right away.
You'll be doing everyone a tremendous favor.
antihorse girl
[email protected]
ARRRRRRGH!MY EYES!!!!
FUCKING JESUS CUNTING CHRIST!
EDIT: I'm hungry. I may have a pasty...
(FUCKING JESUS CUNTING CHRIST!
EDIT: I'm hungry. I may have a pasty...
mog,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:57,
archived)
horse meat goes well inpasties
( mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00,
archived)
time bandits?(the elusive other midget and ex group leader)
(
Ulic hissing slightly,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:04,
archived)
fascinating;)
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58,
archived)
I've got number 69*smug face*
( mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:06,
archived)
best replyby far.
don't tense up, it's the most natural thing in the world. - Big Ron, 1987
Ulic hissing slightly,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01,
archived)
iam amanda 23
100% antihorse
i like chat meet new friends
share idea's
and more.
have fun and take care all.
Hate Horses 4 Life
rob,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58,
archived)
bonus pointsfor use of txt spk?
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02,
archived)
iam amanda 23
100% antihorse
i like chat meet new friends
share idea's
and more.
have fun and take care all.
Good sucky sucky. Cheap. Good girl me.
With friend double.
(100% antihorse
i like chat meet new friends
share idea's
and more.
have fun and take care all.
Good sucky sucky. Cheap. Good girl me.
With friend double.
Enigmatic ™ Voice No More ©,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01,
archived)
I like horse cockThis place gets fucking wierder by the minute. I love it. I shall resign from work immediatly and fuck about on here all day. Will anyone pay me to do this and just write down a summary hour by hour?
I don't like horses
(I don't like horses
DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03,
archived)
i wont pay youbut if you find your struggling just fucking about, and need a hand
give us a shout.
(give us a shout.
mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:08,
archived)
aahhrgghh<? $i=0;while($i<100){echo "THE APOSTROPHE ";$i++;}>
( sinisterduck,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:07,
archived)
That's not a replyThat's a fucking essay.
( Enigmatic ™ Voice No More ©,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58,
archived)
And your point?**could not be arsed reading to find if there was a point.
(,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:59,
archived)
i am unfortunately able to scan read this type of shiteand no.
there was no point.
none.
(there was no point.
none.
Ulic hissing slightly,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02,
archived)
Cheers,saves me reading it. Not that I was planning to, but at least I'm not missing some life altering revelation.
(,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:05,
archived)
i don't like horsesI got bit by one once
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:59,
archived)
one spat at meonce
git
(git
comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:59,
archived)
fucking thing took aright big chunk out of the small of my back
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01,
archived)
Ifucking hate horses too
Now cock off!
(Now cock off!
Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00,
archived)
i hope a horse eats you up for his teathat would learn ya
( summat to do with kittens,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00,
archived)
I hope you like(
The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00,
archived)
the rumours are true..."i hate horses!
Evil f*cking sooper cunts......."
(Evil f*cking sooper cunts......."
spikedirection no frills, no skills.,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00,
archived)
someone once said,'the horse is the most noble of all creatures'
but my dog broke its leg and i didn't have to shoot it. Dogs 1 Horses 0
(,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01,
archived)
but my dog broke its leg and i didn't have to shoot it. Dogs 1 Horses 0
Did you get it a cart? Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:16,
archived)
HA HA HA!"Nearly 300 human deaths a year result from leaving newborn children,
unattended by the horse's pen."
Source? And surely that is more the fault of stupid parents than horses.
(unattended by the horse's pen."
Source? And surely that is more the fault of stupid parents than horses.
Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:15,
archived)
......toooo many words!!
( TheBrain plotting world domination since 1977,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:19,
archived)
On behalf of the entire b3ta collectiveMay I wank in your hat?
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:42,
archived)
That's a lot of spunk gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:53,
archived)
A mate.... Once got stood on by a police horse so, as he was used to dealing with horses, punched it in the face to get it to step off his foot. The Rozzer on the back then tried to do him for "assaulting a police officer" (apparently horses count as officers of the law) so he said, "Ok, as long as I can do it and you, as you should have been controlling it better, for assault on me and police brutality."
(,
Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:45,
archived)