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# What I did yesterday afternoon
by Witchy, age 35 minus 1 frickin' day.

press me!

*ache*
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:33, archived)
# superb work sir!
reminds me of the house in the young ones....
(I helped save b3ta! Pob, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:38, archived)
# That's what it
reminds us of half the time too, just without the big pan o'lentils :)
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:42, archived)
# reminds me of
kenny everett

huulllloooo!!!
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:43, archived)
# And now,
THIS! --------->
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:46, archived)
# Reminds me of my first house in Pompey.
Victorian charm, my arse!
Give me something new that doesn't require staggering amounts of labour to sustain.

(Nice job though, most of my DIY looks like it was done by a cackhanded amateur. D'oh!)
(Vivid, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:46, archived)
# 2 an' a half years ago
I was a cackhanded amateur. Still cackhanded now, but that's biological :)
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:48, archived)
# Heh...
I finally got round to putting the first coat of paint of T'stepdaughter's bedroom walls. Managed to con the wife that the backing paper needed about a month to "dry and settle" before painting 8o) Just got 3 weeks to re-coat, change carpet (and probably the floorboards as well), and fir a new ringmain.
(I helped save b3ta! grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 20:28, archived)
# Heheh - More good news
for OpenSource and rabid nonsence from Macrosloth: clicky.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:31, archived)
# one in
the eye!
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:44, archived)
# Help me! I'm only 14!
(PornDungeon, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:25, archived)
# erm
is that picture at all relevant to your age?
(Dies Irae, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:34, archived)
# um, maybe you haven't heard
R. Kelly was arresting for filming porn with 14 year olds...
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:41, archived)
# The cure for premature ejaculation?
I knocked this up to keep the wolf from the door while "entertaining". Needs a Barry White soundtrack though.

The wolf beater

Warning: not quite office friendly
(Sul, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:23, archived)
# err
you'd probably get a bigger response if you made the link work (add the HTTP:// bit). BTW: Yep, it works. That would stop my little problem.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:39, archived)
# whoopsy
My mother's right, I am a moron
(Sul, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:49, archived)
# weebls everyday adventures 2
clicky here
(I helped save b3ta! weebl Mashed farts, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:21, archived)
# your the man, woo!
bet your proud of the voices
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:23, archived)
# *adopts smug pose*
why yes... I am rather.
(I helped save b3ta! weebl Mashed farts, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:26, archived)
# wow
that is what i was born for. thankyou for giving my life meaning!
(PornDungeon, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:28, archived)
# "how rare!"
<laughs into beer>
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:31, archived)
# WEEBL
you are god.

Can I kiss your toes?
It's that good.
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:29, archived)
# brilliant
I love it!
(Sul, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:25, archived)
# Sir
you are spoiling us.

These are fantastic.
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:34, archived)
# bleedin marvellous
...
(I helped save b3ta! Pob, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:41, archived)
# Fantabulous
How long do you think you can keep it Everyday though?

Gotta be worthy of a frontpage right-column linkfest!
(I helped save b3ta! grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:43, archived)
# there a dying breed so here's one for you
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:47, archived)
# Truly fabulous.
*Awestruck amazement.* And your main site has badgers too!

This is sooo much better than working.
(Vivid, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:50, archived)
# top
hole....

sir.

(cybo, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 20:03, archived)
# Mary had a little sheep,
And with this sheep hhe went to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram.
And Mary had a little lamb!
(peeptophe, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:02, archived)
# Mary had a little skirt
It was slit right up the side
And everywhere that Mary went
you could almost see her thigh.
Mary had a little skirt,
It was slit right up the front.
She doesn't wear that one.
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:10, archived)
# Mary made a little poem,
then people kept changing bits.
Some nasty, some rude
It really gets on her tits.
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:16, archived)
# Mary had a little lamb
The doctors were astounded
Everywhere she went
Gynacologists surrounded.

(c) half man half biscuit, '99% of gargoyles look like bob todd'
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:18, archived)
# mary had a little time,
one day upon her hands,
so she took the lamb she owned indoors,
and sucked upon his glans
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:17, archived)
# Smear campaign alleged against crash survivor
Thats not the worst...

(PornDungeon, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:51, archived)
# sick are hell fucking you and that
going that bastard to is you for

(i laughed though, so I'm coming with you :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:56, archived)
# Indeed. Mind,
if the Hell service uses GNER then we'll never bloody get there.
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:57, archived)
# I've heard its actually connex
the train IS actually hell!

HOOPLA, Front Page!
(PornDungeon, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:59, archived)
# It was the last time I was
on it, so maybe I've been absolved until the next time I have to use it. Hmm.
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:01, archived)
# Would those proponents of the "Girls don't defecate" theory discussed earlier like to come round and clean my stable for me?


It's backbreaking smelly work, but they do trot over when their name is called and only crush one keeper every couple of years.
(I helped save b3ta! SpunkyBackpack, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:46, archived)
# just there
for the nasty things in life
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:30, archived)
# Oh dear
She's not in season again is she?
(I helped save b3ta! SpunkyBackpack, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:52, archived)
# what day is father's day?
(speaking as a father with no savvy)
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:44, archived)
# mmm
new pair of socks
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:47, archived)
# 16th
according to this here FHM calendar.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:48, archived)
# my clangers calender
comfirms this
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:29, archived)
# Sunday the somethingth
of June, what's the date next sunday?
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:49, archived)
# ask
yer dad!

it's 16th June
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:50, archived)
# Just figured you can
search the dictionary by using this:

www.flibz.com/m2/DICTIONARY.CFM?l=belm

For example, that brings up this.
(Dies Irae, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:37, archived)
# Yeah, it's mostly for the single
letter links at the top, but you can do that too...
(I helped save b3ta! flibz, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 20:07, archived)
# I wanted
to try my hand at advertising too...
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:37, archived)
# never see phone lines
being cut in films anymore do you? Mobile phones are slowly killing all I love.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:45, archived)
# Go see Panic Room
to quench your phone line severing thirst.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:49, archived)
# damn
too late!
(I helped save b3ta! nyarlathotep, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:50, archived)
#  
the line "this phone is dead" is dead =(
(Dies Irae, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:49, archived)
# but it's nice
that 24 has been using 'can you trace that call' in as many episodes as possible
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:53, archived)
# Seen panic room?
some nice phone-line action in that ;)
(I helped save b3ta! nyarlathotep, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:50, archived)
# Urgent Request for Help!
A mate in the office has told me of an advert Kylie *sigh* did for an underwear company. Apparently it involved her sitting on a mechanical bull whilst it twirled her around. Does anyone know where I can find this valuable, historical document?

It's for a research project, honest. =)
(Vivid, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:36, archived)
# this
google searh should do it.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:41, archived)
# ..ere


www.malings.co.uk/downloads/kyliempg17.zip
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:42, archived)
# you can find it at
pocket rocket fx under their TV Commercials section.
(kiwanotree Meh, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:43, archived)
# it's an advert
for Agent Provocateur, and searching for that +Kylie gets quite a few hits. this one seems to work but not having real player I can't confirm...
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:43, archived)
# Thank you all! =)
I'm now off to the bogs to finish my err.... research.

/ Too Much Information Mode: Off
(Vivid, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:47, archived)
# It's been mentioned already
but I saw this on another site, and thought: "that's funny, i'm nicking that."

[The Italian Job, 8.25pm on BBC1 In which a 1960s groupie gives oral pleasure to The Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane and The Velvet Underground before realising she was only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off.]
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:32, archived)
# just read all the musical posts
i think we should start some kind of b3ta orchestra....

i play the...errrm...cd player
so i cant really join in....damn
(Naughty Tortoise, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:21, archived)
# i'll
be here with a casio vl-tone providing backing tunes and piano solos
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:25, archived)
# I'll play
a crap old radio cassette recorder creating white noise, distortion and feedback.
(Dies Irae, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:31, archived)
# looks like we have all the makings
of a new-wave progressional interprative neo modrnistic orchestra going on
(Naughty Tortoise, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:34, archived)
# Hello everyone!
I s Mr DaWolfey about?
I KNOW YOUR LURKING HAMSTER, IT FRIGHTENS ME
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:17, archived)
# arhg!
Don't speak like that, it scares me.
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:24, archived)
#
 
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:27, archived)
# such grammer also scares me
you're, not your....its not the possesive, tut
(Naughty Tortoise, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:32, archived)
# I'm gunna ask a really
really stupid, and probably obvious qnewbie question, but, where did the Hummus thing come from??
(exyzed, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:12, archived)
# ask
lumpbucket.

just don't expect a coherent reply :)
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:15, archived)
# i second
that question, ive been lurking a bit, worked out mind piss, time spaz, glass cock, even anal fish, but i cant quite get Hummus
(Naughty Tortoise, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:15, archived)
# I
still havn't got time Spazz either...
(exyzed, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:16, archived)
# Time Spaz...
1/ To look back through the archive.
2/ To repost (on a very limited basis otherwise it rattles cages.) when somebodys post reminds you of one of yours.
(I helped save b3ta! Si W, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:18, archived)
# You could just look in....
the B3ta dictionary on m3ss3ng3r.
(I helped save b3ta! Si W, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:20, archived)
# you're worrying too much
it is totally and utterly meaningless

use this information for the betterment of mankind and its left-recursive wing mirrors
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:16, archived)
# Good
thats what I thought.
now, for some glass cock hummus inducing time spazz
(exyzed, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:18, archived)
# so you'll be trawling the archives,
looking for enlightenment from the re-posts?
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:23, archived)
# indeed,
but now I have access to the B3TA dictionary, I don't think I need to :-) cheers guys
(exyzed, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:26, archived)
# ..

www.flibz.com/m2/dictionary.cfm

can clear some things up

a wiccan is talking to me on msn, great
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:19, archived)
# oooh who has msn messenger?

ill be foolish and dish out my address, [email protected]
(Naughty Tortoise, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:23, archived)
# All i know from it's roots is that
i can't fucking hummus.
(Dies Irae, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:15, archived)
# for all
i know, Hummus is a Chick pea and Garlic paste. so how does one go about "Hummusing"?
(exyzed, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:17, archived)
# By asking that
you obviously can't fucking hummus.

TBH, i'm more inquisitive as to where spong came from.
(Dies Irae, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:18, archived)
# Like Hummus, Spaz, houpla, and glass cock,
it was one comment adopted by a whole group of b3tans,

it was 'a word of the day' a couple of days back
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:26, archived)
# It was from when
we were doing the word dictionary and people were chucking in their favourite words (mine were 'moist' and anything ending in 'nge' except maybe 'hinge') and trashcanglam said his was Spong.
There then followed a typical b3ta style acceptance of the term involving stupid pictures :o) Yay us!
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:47, archived)
# we
rock!
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:09, archived)
# in nice white coats. :)
How's yours? Mine needs to be a little tighter round the shoulders, though that might restrict mouse activity.
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:11, archived)
# Where's the
"can you see?" pic when you need it.
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:18, archived)
# oops. a glass time-cock-spaz
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:29, archived)
# Coz I'm bored. here is my idea for mantel pies phone ad.


-- a repeatable format too. Lots of dressed up phones making personal statements. And that's what the 2nd/3rd generation of phone buyers are about. Making statements. Yadda yadda.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:09, archived)
# you big ginger loveable loon, you!
 
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:19, archived)
# like
a portable atm ?


(/coat)
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:20, archived)
# thats marvelous
that is!
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:52, archived)
# likee lottee
If only clients like Tmobile whom the ads are for would accept decent whacky ideas. Generally they like straight stuff. The stuff were doing at the moment is ok. Its basically got to have the endline life's better with pictures advertising the fact you can send pictures via your mobile. Their current billboard campaign features words saying Idyllic beach or beautiful model then finishes off with the endline. Me n' mr.wellington have to come up with internet ad ideas along the same lines. Oh! and one execution has to feature a baby(dont ask). Keep shtum though coz I dont think theyd be appy me tellin you this info.
(Mr.Mantlepies, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 10:52, archived)
# Hello from the GNER train fromNewcastle to Edinburgh!
comin' atcha at a spongingly unhummuslike 9600bps from me lapdog and me phone.

Gotta get GPRS sorted out - my new phone can do it... anyone got any experience?
(I helped save b3ta! chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 17:55, archived)
# i better not
post a 500k pic just yet then....
(I helped save b3ta! Pob, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 17:57, archived)
# enjoy the cho cho train
i'm just aboot to post a 600k ani gif

(not weally)

[edit] arrrghh the gag has already been stolen....

------------
GPRS, don't you have to get one of those posho colour mobillios?
(minoltion, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 17:58, archived)
# Mwuuuuuhahahahaha!
.
(I helped save b3ta! Pob, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:13, archived)
# you mean
the british rail service is still in operation?
(exyzed, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:14, archived)
# you were down in
the toon and you never mentioned beerage? Tchah.
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:49, archived)
# I did tentatively yesterday...
...I thought you were decorating not working this week, though...

Actually, I was tight for time, but I'll be down again. The last train back to Edinburgh is pretty late (about 10.30, I think...)
(I helped save b3ta! chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 19:37, archived)
# I don't like music
But this sort of tickled me. A bit.
lsp.fortunecity.co.uk/gig1/
(horace, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 17:53, archived)
# thats was
pretty funny :-)
(exyzed, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:10, archived)
# did anyone see 'would like to meet...' on bbc2 last night?
it was tremendous! for anyone who didn't see, it had a really nice 41 year old man who was not too succesful on the laydee front, and bbc2 totted him up to try and get him some action. he had his dead pet mouse from when he was a boy stuffed and in a plastic display box.
(I helped save b3ta! tomdog, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 17:52, archived)
# I found that program to be
totally and uterly offensive, the poor bastard, they raped every single thing that he held dear to him and destroyed the person he was, he seemed quite sweet originally, and they changed him into some tosser yuppie.

The program in general is pretty much wholly offensive to me.
(Dies Irae, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:01, archived)
# And he didn't even get so much as a sniff of fanny by the end of it.
Still he was ginger
(Jesus, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:02, archived)
# at least he's happy now though, eh?
but i hate hate hate those three wanks that presented it.
(I helped save b3ta! tomdog, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:05, archived)
# They were insulting
virtually everything he stood for, they didn't help him meet someone, they changed the person he was entirely.

I love his Mr Bump t-shirt, and now it's gone =(
(Dies Irae, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:09, archived)
# tragic indeed
i loved his tshirt too. and i can't believe he gave that mouse to that kid.

apart from that he seemed far more normal and likeable than those three people. he had plenty of friends and was so sweet!
(I helped save b3ta! tomdog, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:13, archived)
# The kid was
his neighbour, what's the odds that as soon as they'd finished filming he got them all back.
(Dies Irae, Thu 6 Jun 2002, 18:16, archived)

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