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(

Nastar, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:18, archived)

Merry Christmas

Everybody.

Lots of love,

Uncle routine. xx

(

routine has perfected burgers, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:13, archived)

And a very Maori Christmas to you too

(repost, sorry)

(

wayward., Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:17, archived)

This is a repost, too

but timely!

(

Artamnesia, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:32, archived)

santa and his elvii!

huzzah. does bovine know about this?

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:35, archived)

Is he the guy with the Elvis site?

I sent him my Anna Nichol Elvis but I'm pretty sure that's it.

(

Artamnesia, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:37, archived)

har!

har!

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 18:03, archived)

Unwanted xmas gift #1

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:08, archived)

that man

is terrific!

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:09, archived)

But

Song or Mistle?

(

Captain Nostril, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:11, archived)

teehee!

/runs ;)

(

munkt0n, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:13, archived)

hehe

clarse

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:16, archived)

(

weebl Mashed farts, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:42, archived)

hehehe

he's been saving it up !

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:43, archived)

hahahahsahaha

ahqhahahahahahaha

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:18, archived)

haha...

Good one.

(

EvS, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:21, archived)

how come

your site never ever works?

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:24, archived)

Because my host was a scam. Yeah. Seriosly.

But I should be getting a new host for Xmas...which is tomorrow...so might be back up boxing day?

And a word of advice to all: If it looks to good to be true, it prolly is. And, more specificly, don't use 5gbHosting.com

(

EvS, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:31, archived)

At least

it won't bother him... And he'll enjoy giving it to someone else

Is that you? If so, replace "him" with "you"... see it really works

(Elvis_The_Sn@il, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:14, archived)

Nah

Aint got a clue who he is - but his pic had "potential".

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:16, archived)

cockney badger knees-up

laaarvely!

(

munkt0n, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:07, archived)

hurrah

my badgers play like angels!

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:08, archived)

Hurrah !!!

Badgers are my favouritist thing ever !!
Woo !

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:09, archived)

YAY!

love it!

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:25, archived)

you really should

knit that cardigan

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:26, archived)

I'm sure

I could get one off the net for munkt0n for his birthday.... mmmm
hehehehehhe

(

jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:28, archived)

yes!

more of these please!

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 18:05, archived)

Jacko baby-dropping game

Found this via The Inquirer (.net), Flash game. Popups though...

Anyway, Merry Xmas B3tanoids, party hard, Santa is watching YOU! And I'm not Jesus!

(

Captain Nostril, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:05, archived)

well kick me in the left buttock and break my knees!

MJ is a god! dont belittle him in such ways!

oh wait.... no he isnt. have at 'im
[edit] oi!

(KurutteiruRisu, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:12, archived)

TAGS!!

rar

(

stevierar, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:13, archived)

Tags!

CLOSE ALL YOUR TAGS, PLEASE!

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:14, archived)

Oh har har :D

(

stevierar, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:15, archived)

; )

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:17, archived)

I saw this and though of you

This is probably the coolest pop-up ad in the world. I'm not including the link because the people turned out to be dirty scoundrels!!!

And yes - the red x's were flying towards the screen in a "flying windows"-esque fashion

By the way "hi" from a morning person to the scary night-time b3tans (there sure are a lot of you)

(Elvis_The_Sn@il, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:04, archived)

dirty scoundrels? i am shocked and appalled

that such people exist even on the good clean internet!

(KurutteiruRisu, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:05, archived)

What do you mean?

I managed to get on here

;)

(Elvis_The_Sn@il, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:09, archived)

*points to the door*

sir, please leave the premesis imediately! or at least stop causing mischeif!

(KurutteiruRisu, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:10, archived)

Well...

AKA Burning Feet Man

(BurningFeetMan, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:59, archived)

merry Christmas !

and it's lovely but a tad hooooooooooooooooge!!

Edit : wow , quick off the mark there buddy :)

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:00, archived)

lovely

but are you really a koala? if so, how much can you eat in a day?

(KurutteiruRisu, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:03, archived)

Have a Swooper Chrimbo

and a stonking New Year b3tans !!

May Santa visit your house and empty his sack all over your living room :)

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:53, archived)

hmm

the opportunities for photoshopping many testicles under a christmas tree.

(

_null_, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:54, archived)

that's

terrific! hooray! and merry christmas to you too.

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:55, archived)

have a non-festive

off into the family's bosom now - urk! have a good one a'body, see y'all back on the board soon :)

(

zerolicious, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:55, archived)

take care

and enjoy !

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:59, archived)

That is lovely and the most

Christmassy picture I have seen on the board yet.

This is him the rest of the year :)

(

curry monster, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 20:22, archived)

Hehehe

thanks very much , hadn't seen that one before!
Quality !

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 20:34, archived)

the nativity

in PaintMash!

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:49, archived)

YAAAY!!

and a large quantity of woo!

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:51, archived)

Love the grinning shepherd and his sheepy friend

very festive!

(Elvis_The_Sn@il, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:05, archived)

hehehe

Are they burning the baby?

...and that sheperd is standing a tad close to that sheep.

nice pic btw

([]DOo []DOo, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:51, archived)

bah

it's just cos i can't draw to save my hummus

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:53, archived)

no you got me wrong

i like it, better than i could manage

([]DOo []DOo, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:53, archived)

Woo!

Very pixlistical!
8)

(

Kaiser, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:51, archived)

cheers all

i saw your question earlier - i've just added a bunch of new pics!

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:58, archived)

Yay!

(

Kaiser, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:59, archived)

Paintmas

Has been updated?

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:02, archived)

just

this minute

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:02, archived)

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!

you've got some very lovley ones in there...
Must go browse, back soon.

Edit: Back, ah, lovley, lovel, but only 4 new publics?

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:08, archived)

yes

i can only put up what i get sent.

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:17, archived)

Guess

I'll have to send some more in then, eh?

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:41, archived)

i like

the robot one of yours in this latest batch. very nice!

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 18:08, archived)

mashtastic.

(

hobnobgoblin doesn't come here as often as he'd like to, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:53, archived)

Yay !

Merry Christ Mash !!

/santa outfit

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:54, archived)

well

it's a mash with mary and christ

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:03, archived)

shit

should have thought of Mary , damn my eyes !!
Woo!

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:05, archived)

magnificent!

amen

(

munkt0n, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:54, archived)

Nice!

Who are those two in the hut?
; )

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:01, archived)

woopla!

(

zerolicious, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:02, archived)

(

Nastar, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:47, archived)

Hahahha

Woo Yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:58, archived)

A Short Xmas Quiz

Question 1
A common garden snail crawls at 30mph up a small dark slope at 2230 hours. By the time the snail has reached the top the slope is no longer dark. If the day is 22nd July and the slope was pi radians steep, and also assuming the force of gravity lowers during a waxing moon, it is fair to assume that local wicker baskets can count for no gravitational field strength. How fast is the snail by the time it reaches the height of Birmingham's highest building?
[6 marks]

Question 2
What is the most foreboding word in the technically accurate officiated Queens English Language as of 2002?
[2 marks]

Question 3
Is anything more important than fluffy baby penguins? Give your argument.
[2 marks]

Question 4
Integrate y=4x+3 with respect to my trousers.
[1 mark]

Question 5
If a butcher's dog can reach speeds of up to 28mph on acid, then how fast can four litres of nitric acid reach on the back of a dog?
[3 marks]

Question 6
"Season's Greetings". Discuss.
[80 marks]
________________________________________

That concludes the test.

(

_null_, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:46, archived)

I got

full marks can I go now?

(

Dill, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:49, archived)

but

you must give your answers in full.
the winner will be announced on boxing day and a prize awarded.

so far, you're winning as you're the only one to reply.
so "woooooo".

(

_null_, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:52, archived)

i'm used to multiple choice so...

1.a
2.d
3.d
4.c
5.a
6.d
7.b
8.a

*edit* i answered the two 'secret' questions as well...

did i do well?

(Nobody Likes Mortal Wombat, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:55, archived)

On first marking

I found the following flaws:

- Multiple choice is stupid.
- You've invented questions 7 and 8.

But you've shown your working so now you're winning.

(

_null_, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:57, archived)

do i get a peanut?

or do i have to wait?

(Nobody Likes Mortal Wombat, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:58, archived)

wait

but think nuts in plural

(

_null_, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:01, archived)

That reminds me

of the "Conspiracy Theory, paper I" spoof exam I did ages back - before the web. Dark times.

(

Captain Nostril, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:59, archived)

Answer

1. The snail got stepped on halfway up
2. Fucksocks
3. Furtive, because.
4. (T = trousers) Y=4X+3 = T+93*Pi(e)
5. 17Mph
6. A greeting refering to the chain of holidays near the end of the year. I myself prefer Merry Whatever.

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:07, archived)

Hmm lets give this a go

1. Assuming constant speed due to the waxing moon id say 2.45ms^-1
2.Boo
3.The protection of said fluffy penguins. There isnt many of them we need all we can get to win this one!
4. y=4x+3 dy=4dtrousers
5.Not too far off the scientifically measured speed of a walrus on heat, which is equilvilant to the walrus constant 0.45 times the mass of the acid.
6.Bar humbug

(Alpen, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:28, archived)

1. A bit fast
2. Armadillo Poop
3. Fuffy Penguine Eggs (They make new and better fluffy penguins)
4. Only smarties have the answer...
5. A bit fast
6. In summer you would say 'Hi' Winter, 'Hey' Autumn, 'Yoo Hoo' and Winter 'Oi, Bubblebutt'

I hope I won.

(andchapman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 18:07, archived)

isn't it supposed to be the holidays? this seems a bit like work

1. It's a trick question - Birmingham doesn't have a tallest building, thanks to an obscure local bye-law brought in by a councillor in 1985, with a view to preventing pigeons from roosting in what was, at the time, the tallest building.

2. "Woe unto thee". Wait, that's more than one word. Err.. cuntmuffins.

3. I''d say beer, but it seems to have rendered me incapable of thinking of a good reason why.

4. dy/d(trousers) = 4. respec'. aiiight.

5. 28mph, given that the acid is on the back of the dog on acid

6. "Seasons Greetings" seems like a far better non-denominational alternative than "Happy Holidays" is - it doesn't discriminate against those poor sods who don't have any holidays at this time of year - while it's still giving them some seasonal saluation.

(

teflon, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 23:22, archived)

Hrrrm.

1. 30mph, the snail is not accelerating and 30MPH is a scaler figure. That is assuming that the snail does not slow down or die.

2. (The) Fear.

3. The fluffy baby penguins parents are more important than the fluffy baby penguins, as without them, there would be no fluffy baby penguins to enjoy in the future.

4. 2trousers^2 + 3trousers + c

5. around 3m/s.

6. Season's greetings seems to indicate that there are different forms of greeting for the different seasons. Personally I have never noticed this and find it a confusing statement.
The term may refer to the fact that Christmas is located in the winter season and so there should be a specific type of greeting reserved for this month. This is a highly prejudiced idea that doesn't fit into the 21st century, and ony serves to create further tensions between the primarily Christian Western and more diverse Eastern hemispheres.
Personally, as a Gaianic Panthiest, I do not consider any single day of the year to be more important than the others. Celebrate them all, or celebrate none of them. However, as an oppertunistic bastard, I feel fully justified in returning home for a few days to receive presents, watch my family fight and get drunk on someone elses tab.

Oh and Thank you, Seasons Greetings to you too.

(goat thinks you're shit, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 23:23, archived)

here you go:

1. GNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

2. Gnn.

3. gn.

4. ... ...

5. GNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

6. GN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *plop* Aah.

(Psi, Thu 26 Dec 2002, 0:00, archived)

This is not festive

but I may be in the mood later.. (and festive)

(

beaubodor blogless, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:45, archived)

Arf, arf....

very funny sir

(Dr Spam, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:47, archived)

And he can

balance a pretzel on his nose...

(

Captain Nostril, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:00, archived)

That makes me want to get dressed and go

clubbing...

(

LP, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:14, archived)

marcus's presents got better every year

beery christmas all of you!
ho ho ho

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:43, archived)

Bankyou!

(

Kaiser, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:45, archived)

haha

you insane romantic! ;)

(

rogan, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 19:06, archived)

Merry X-mas!

home.worldonline.dk/flimflam/kaiser_xmas_hohoho.mp3
ho ho ho

(

Kaiser, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:38, archived)

class

in a very large glass.

(Maels, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:41, archived)

*BINGO*

(

Kaiser, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:41, archived)

Meanwhile, up in heaven

Biggerness on clickness

(Maels, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:30, archived)

brilly

upmt !!

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:31, archived)

huzzah

houpla
yay
woo

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:36, archived)

You are fucking Mental

Me likey!

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:34, archived)

hehe

class

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:38, archived)

haar

haaar har!!

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:41, archived)

if this aint festive I don't know what are

first crimbo here so everyone have a big one from me

int he cute, spose he'll be garroted and flung round the queen's neck someday

(

Dill, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:27, archived)

Yay!

Christmas ferret!

(

Nastar, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:29, archived)

ermine

actually(stoat in winter plummage)

(

Dill, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:31, archived)

Yikes

Ermine? Ferrets in disguise?

(

Nastar, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:34, archived)

Yay !!

thanks in advance ;)

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:30, archived)

huzzah

to both images!!

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:41, archived)

Indeed!

Huzzah!

(

Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:50, archived)

To aah or ahh Bisto

some would say that is the question.

(minoltion, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:13, archived)

people with a shaky grasp

of reality for example

(

Spoon, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:25, archived)

shaky grasp could be handeh , it'd take the strain out of cracking one off for example.........

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:29, archived)

Not exactly funny

but this is what I'm rolling out at the next "How do you guys..." request.

(

Artamnesia, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:10, archived)

nicely

done!

now can you make one of those for flash? i don't know how to use that yet!

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:13, archived)

That's brill

*evile bins his piss poor 'how do you' bandwagon pic.*

(

Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:13, archived)

do one

involving moomoomonster. to keep me happy.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:18, archived)

Sure,

it's not a comedic master piece, but we sould put it in the FAQ in any event...

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:23, archived)

wouldn't it be fantasmacoricalioooucssish if

she wagged her finger at the toys?

(

Dill, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:30, archived)

errrr

what no gimp?

(

partychancer, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 17:28, archived)

Happy xmas everyone....

(

hobnobgoblin doesn't come here as often as he'd like to, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 15:55, archived)

hoooooo ho ho

yes!!

(

freshlegs, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 15:56, archived)

Haha,

that's a good one!

(

Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 15:56, archived)

im never swimming again!

he could get me and force gifts upon me at any second!

(Alpen, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 15:57, archived)

or,

as you're on b3ta he could force gifs on you. that's how i read what you said anyhoo.

(

butchbint, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 15:58, archived)

i see ure point

im still not getting in the sea
what ever hes forcing upon me!

(Alpen, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:01, archived)

but he's

a good looking fella. you could do worse than being forced into the sea by the likes of him. phwoar. have you seen his beard?

(

butchbint, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:05, archived)

woot !

nice one :)

(

Tedmus, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 15:59, archived)

Snurf

snurfetty snurf

(

Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 15:59, archived)

haha

brilliant!

(

bananaman, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:00, archived)

excellente!!!!

great stuff :)

(Maels, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:02, archived)

Hahahahha!

HAHAHAHHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

(techsmurf, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:24, archived)

Whoah

is that real?

(yoink, Tue 24 Dec 2002, 16:28, archived)

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