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completely crap

clicky for big one, its crap

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:07, archived)

Empty...

My life now feels empty now my pubic danruff quest has finished.

What ever shall I do.. Suggestions ?

(

Mrfishfinger .com, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:53, archived)

do the old

gluing a pound coin to the pavement - but do it outside your office window so you can get pictures of people attempt to pick it up.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:55, archived)

Put a

New spin on it though, otherwise you will be branded for treading water in the comedy coin stuck to the pavement fraternity.

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:59, archived)

in that case

glue one of them 'shy dolls' to the pavement and photograph the reactions.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:01, archived)

I think

they wouldn't be that mocking with that idea.

They are a fickle bunch ive heard.

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:02, archived)

my nan

bought two of those shy dolls back from holiday...i couldn't help but laugh....

(

raw-edge, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:06, archived)

Why not glue a big

glass cock to the ground and see if any female golf players try to pick it up?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:06, archived)

kiss it

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:08, archived)

Suggestion.

Stop hanging around toilets with camaras

(Wallz, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:56, archived)

well

what should he hang around a toilet with then?

(que, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:57, archived)

Toilet Duck?

.
Or airfreshener and spray it around as soon as someone finishes.

(Wallz, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:00, archived)

toilet duck?

maybe it could act as your spy

(rawx, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:15, archived)

his willy out.

i'll get my coat.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:07, archived)

and

a pack of condoms.

my coat's right underneath there, thanks.

(que, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:10, archived)

You could go on a quest

To find the owner of the pubic dandruff. Email the pics around the company - asking the culprit to make themselves known. I know what you're thinking... They might be reluctant to own up. Promise them something like a bag of werthers originals as a prize - that should flush them out.

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:56, archived)

you really are going to

have to find the scabby culprit.
perhaps a toilet vigil?
or next time you spot it, run back into the office shouting, "QUICK! COme and have a look in the loos, some dirty fucker's got pubeydruff!!!!!"
and see who declines.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 15:56, archived)

yes

a reluctancy to witness one of the nastiest things you could possibly find in the loo is an obvious sign of guilt.

have you got any more useful tests of culpability?

i'm sure you could have taught those Eliziabethan witch hunters a thing or two about justice... not to mention the Inquisitors

(rawx, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:02, archived)

yes i probably could have done..

"OI ! leave that woman alone, she's no witch!"
(look of relief from said woman)
"No, she looks too relieved, burn the slag!"

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 16:04, archived)

I'll get me coat in advance

If... they.. weighs the same as a duck, their made of wood. And therefore A witch!

Or is that Witches?

(Wallz, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:07, archived)

oi!

no python. and if you do quote it, then at least get it right word for word... i'm watching :)

(

rockyrobin, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:13, archived)

write

a song about it.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:05, archived)

moidorer

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:44, archived)

I have a feeling i am going to encounter the wraith of DrPhil for doing this...

but I just couldn't help myself ;)

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 15:43, archived)

She's right

Her chin does look a bit fat

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:45, archived)

A bit fat!

It would win an award for fatness in a 'Who's got the fattest chin' contest.

schoolboy titter

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:47, archived)

You naughty

pizza you!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:45, archived)

christ!

that only usually happens to people when I sober up!

(

SpunkyBackpack, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:46, archived)

would you

like to borrow my spare set of armour?grr f*ckin typos

(steofthedump, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:48, archived)

That's not very gentlemanly!

(

Staticgirl, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:48, archived)

I agree!!

She's the best...leave her alone you bunch of brit bastards...you pack of Mop Monkeys!
(Or something like that.)

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:50, archived)

Yes but

I am always chivalrous and gentlemanly, and it gets you nowhere. If you want to get the chicks, be a complete bastard.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:51, archived)

but i am always a bastard

and that doesn't get me chicks.

its probably because i'm ginger.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:55, archived)

I'm sorry to hear that

is there anything we can do?

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:56, archived)

I'm a psychopath.

the ladies love it.

besides, Dr.Phil knows i love the pants off her, so I'm sure she won't be offended.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 15:58, archived)

depends

are you a pretty girl?

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:02, archived)

mike

i went out with a ginger bastard once. it does happen.

he was evil though, and i'm sure you're capable of not being evil. if you try.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:57, archived)

I think you have to be nice

but in a kind of "i'm going to turn into a bastard, I am" kind of way, and then when they are successfully lured, become a bastard.

Thats the bit I can't do because I'm just too nice.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:57, archived)

oh no!

it's happening again... please say there won't be another warp Dr Phil - fest... I do feel like I've done my turn now...

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:58, archived)

As some of you already know,

due to my browser, or mac, or some new anti-zog code put into b3ta by Rob or someone, I can't go backwards in b3time. (no it's not my bloody connection!) so I can't really know if this was done in response to the pic posted about 1/2 an hour ago, and I can't post it as a reply.
SORRY!

(at least I'm off 20m.com, thanks to secret squirrel lurker friend)

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:42, archived)

Sorry it's big

But so was the original

(The Unknown Anorak, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:39, archived)

fannytastic

very well done sir, etc...

(

vbloke OLDSKOOL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:50, archived)

again...

(

Joelf, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:33, archived)

heheheh

that's nasty %)

(

Spoon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:34, archived)

Are those

yellowy chrystally things supposed to be onions?

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:35, archived)

either that

or salmon eggs.

(que, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:37, archived)

Now I feel sick.

Thanks for that.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:38, archived)

Ah , the "Frank Burger"

A mere 100 Yen before ten in the morning...

"No I will not respond if you ask for a Hot Dog. This is MacDonalds and it is a FRANK BURGER. I will stare blankly at you till you use the McStandard terminology"

(Jesus, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:45, archived)

he he he

every time I go into burger king I ask for a big mac, i know they probably spunk in my food afterwards but it is worth it.

(pingu, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:11, archived)

WOO!

Finally trawled all the way back to friday afternoon! Loads of woo-worthy images.

Normally i *HATE* reposts (and there seems to be a lot more these days.... grrrr... ), but could Otakuno please repost B3ta Babe #3, because all i got in the archives was a red cross!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:31, archived)

agreed.

in fact, as far as reposts go,
can we have all the b3ta babes, as they really are worth seeing again,
classs.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 15:33, archived)

Think they need

to be made into a gallery

(

Spoon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:35, archived)

b3ta babes!

we love 'em!

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:39, archived)

jeezus

psychedelic domo!
www.fuck.org/~max/clay/

(

vbloke OLDSKOOL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:28, archived)

Sooty makes sure Harry Corbett can never put his hand up is arse ever again

(Broon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:21, archived)

like

(rawx, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:21, archived)

ooooh

Mr Corbet *said in husky Sue voice*

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:23, archived)

hehe, Mr Nuts likes it.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 15:25, archived)

oh that Mr Nuts

has issues - I can tell

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:28, archived)

no no no

he has tissues.
it's a long story.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 15:32, archived)

i'm sure

Mr Nuts is very happy, anyway ; )

(Broon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:38, archived)

certainly looks it. Look at 'im go!!!

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:39, archived)

he was sat on my lap

when i took that pic

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 15:45, archived)

and

what were you doing?

(steofthedump, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:47, archived)

I said it was a long story

>:)

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 15:54, archived)

got my photos of the last b3ta party developed

In case anyone was too drunk to remember (Edit of course everyone was the picture of sobriety what am I saying??)- I was the bird wearing a lot of pink.

Lucy, Dr Phil and a classic one of Lumpbucket!

(

Staticgirl, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:17, archived)

DAMN

that's some goooooood lumpbucket you got there.

Why is my chin fat? WHY do I have a FAT CHIN??

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:19, archived)

at least

you have a chin *nerdy sob*

(

stouffer, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:19, archived)

why do you

lack chinnage?

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:29, archived)

to a certain degree

i do resemble an african tree frog

(

stouffer, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:30, archived)

fantastic.

you lucky man.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:32, archived)

and you get

high if you lick my back.

(

stouffer, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:39, archived)

if i try to lick my back

ilook like a spacker.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:40, archived)

moreso

than normal?

(

stouffer, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:43, archived)

a small

bit, yes.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:44, archived)

probably got fat ankles too?

Give you something else to obsess about in the mirror for hours when putting on shoes :)

I may or may not have issues.

(HoTWire, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:21, archived)

/me thinks out loud

is there any correct answer to this?
if we say yes, then it will most likely upset you, and if we say no then you wont belive us... im gonna stay silent

(icedragon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:21, archived)

that wasnt the question was it?

...i dont know why you have a fat chin... genetics?
sorry - you have a very nice chin.

(icedragon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:22, archived)

right

why are the good-looking ones always the most neurotic about the silliest little things?

(que, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:23, archived)

ive noticed that too

(icedragon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:24, archived)

"aah!

a pimple!"
/begins to tie noose.

(que, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:28, archived)

nobody would care if i had a fat chin

cos i'm a muntdude anyway.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:30, archived)

Because

they can afford to be. If they moan about being unattractive everyone says "of course you aren't" = boosted ego.

If a minger were to say such a thing they would only be ignored or agreed with so they don't.

Don't be sucked in... women fuck with your brains

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:29, archived)

i can see

you've thought about this for a long time!

(steofthedump, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:31, archived)

Well

they wouldn't be goodlooking if it was something major would they.

(Wallz, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:31, archived)

fine point

that hadn't occured to me at all.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:38, archived)

if you have a fat chin

I have two heads!

(

Staticgirl, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:24, archived)

fat chin

sounds like a chinese dictator!cannae see no fat on that chin captain

(steofthedump, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:24, archived)

Bit late now,

as most of the board as beaten me to it, but you don't have a fat chin. Stop being paranoid. It doesn't even look fat in that picture, either.

(tomsk, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:38, archived)

Oh God

I'm sorry everyone, I take it back!

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:44, archived)

don't worry about it. it's like hearing your own voice on a tape recorder "do i sound like that?! etc..." everyone goes thru it.

(que, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:56, archived)

Hey staticgirl

are you in St Albans?

(edit) Er, I'm not trying to chat you up, I was just wondering as you seem to be one of the few b3tans who lives anywhere near me

(

Spoon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:20, archived)

I live in watford!

I 'work' in London in time-honoured B3tan tradition...

(

Staticgirl, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:37, archived)

Cool

I'm a bit further down the A41, nearish Aylesbury
I seem to be the only person so far to admit living in Bucks
I 'work' from home

(

Spoon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:39, archived)

I am

Watford also.

(

partychancer, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:41, archived)

I'm from

St Albans, not lived there for a while though

(Nacho, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:59, archived)

that's very odd.

We're not related are we?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:20, archived)

I'm from St.Albans originally.

It's a nice place.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:00, archived)

you didn't get any of me an' Vikki tho'

thank god
btw, were you the totty in white, knee-high boots?

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 7 May 2002, 15:27, archived)

totty?

why am I suddenly very very happy? Yes I was. wow.

I got the camera out too late and got the picture of lots of backs as I hastened back to the dance floor to dance to the next top tune.

(

Staticgirl, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:29, archived)

white knee high boots?

*drools*

(steofthedump, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:34, archived)

i think pictures

are necessary. and dreams, lots of dreams.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:37, archived)

Wot?

A picture of my boots? she said in deliberately confused fashion..

(

Staticgirl, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:39, archived)

yes!pic of boots

(with legs in em!)

(steofthedump, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:41, archived)

And the rest of her too

I can't remember what she looks like!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:43, archived)

and

tits.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:43, archived)

You want

tits in boots?

Is that like puss-in-boots

That was lame hanable. My coat? ta very much

(Wallz, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:00, archived)

LUMPBUCKET

(lunchbreaklarry, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:30, archived)

AAAAAAAARGH!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:35, archived)

HOOT!

(

Staticgirl, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:47, archived)

lumpbucket, you look a little different,

did you buy some new shoes or something?

(icedragon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:36, archived)

Nope.

I only ever have one pair of shoes, and I only replace them when they really, totally and utterly die.

Or when I have a job interview :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:38, archived)

i love

how crap that joke is. hooray.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:39, archived)

maybe a

slight beard trimmage or something?

(steofthedump, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:39, archived)

linky

www.edinb3tan.tk

(

stouffer, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:17, archived)

any chance

of whacking this on the log?

(

stouffer, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:33, archived)

cheers

rob

(

stouffer, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:08, archived)

i am confused

the make yourself known section, do I fill this in everytime I am going for a drinkie or is it just specific to the 18th?

(pingu, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:38, archived)

both options

are available to you, i would suggest only major events though

(

stouffer, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:45, archived)

Super-Burger-Meal-Movie-Soundtrack-Tie-in

(doofis, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:16, archived)

that is really good

i very like.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:28, archived)

well thank you

one day i'll try gif animation but it's in the too-hard basket right now.

(doofis, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:38, archived)

Je suis travellé!

Well, if my terrible Franglais didn't tell you, I've been travelling! This is a post from Luxembourg! Christ, they have strange keyboards here!

(

The Duke Of Your Fingers feels like an old man... mmm, tasty!, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:15, archived)

excellent cat picture

from this story:
slipknot

(jim, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:15, archived)

I used that

picture to try and entice the office personnel to read my handy IT for Retards book written just for them. Did they care? No. sob

(

Staticgirl, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:27, archived)

Now with added penguins!

Cheers vbloke!

(icedragon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:14, archived)

Now...

... thats class

(

Mrfishfinger .com, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:16, archived)

she is to thin

to be healthy. you can see her ribs. nice arse but.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:31, archived)

too thin?

it must be all those penguins she's shitting out

(

vbloke OLDSKOOL, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:52, archived)

Gary glitter from the shitter

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:14, archived)

Yay!

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:15, archived)

ace

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:20, archived)

eggcellant

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:22, archived)

Thanks all

Took a while to get this beast to work with a fairly low file size !

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Tue 7 May 2002, 16:04, archived)

Pubic

At last... I have the proof (not that anyone doubted me )

[ Bigger pic ]

[ Bigger pic ]

(

Mrfishfinger .com, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:07, archived)

that

is fucking minging

(steofthedump, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:13, archived)

You should use

Head and Scroaties. That should clear it up.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:14, archived)

Christ...

It's not mine.... :(

(

Mrfishfinger .com, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:15, archived)

How

delightful. That's even grimmer than I imagined

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:15, archived)

What's even better

is that there will be people in your work going :

"I just saw that dirty bastard going into a cubicle with a camera"

(Jesus, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:18, archived)

Though of that...

I hid the camera up my jook...

sortaaad

(

Mrfishfinger .com, Tue 7 May 2002, 15:19, archived)

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