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I was just on the phone

and trying to type this message at the same time:
zog - you there?

(

helmetcream, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:43, archived)

malt liquor magic

(que, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:37, archived)

Isn't it

Soul Glo?

You can't drink that!

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:40, archived)

Surely it should be 'Lando Calrissian says'

who the fucksocks is Billy Dee Williams?

Now Boba Fett, there's a proper name.

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:51, archived)

I preferred Boba Jobb

That's the lesser-known bounty hunter from the uncut version of Empire Strikes Back.
He was hired by Jabba to hunt down Han Solo and shower him with shit from a great height.

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:08, archived)

I need...

two brazilian models.

Last seen on my district line train last night.

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:34, archived)

airfix

(

Spoon, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:37, archived)

I'll need some glue as

well then.

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:39, archived)

Revell 1/128 scale

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:40, archived)

Revell

they always fooled me into buying tiny models by packaging them in huge boxes, what a wasted childhood.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:47, archived)

i need a stomach pump

ive eaten too much quiche and its making me brain shut down

(

DaWolfey, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:37, archived)

Quiche Lorraine

Chase?

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:40, archived)

I need...

to get hold of an MP3 of Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, but I can't access Audiogalaxy, Kazaa et al due to firewall at work. Anyone know where I can lay my hands on a manipulatable copy (pref instrumental)?

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:27, archived)

Relax with this Mr Thorpe

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:28, archived)

*deep breaths*

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:29, archived)

i put you out of your misery

be grateful...otherwise....
a 24x24 grid of the winky-woo will appear every time you post!
Aha - now you are in my power!

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:38, archived)

yikes.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:45, archived)

now that fish has cataracts....

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:26, archived)

Now that is what I call

rather splendid

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:29, archived)

i had that same fish

but it died last night - it now looks like that. I should really do the decent thing and get rid of it i reckon

(Marvellous (mb) Mark, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:49, archived)

seriously

i have a goldfish that is 8 years old. That seems very old to me. It is the Queen Mother of fishies.

(

rosey, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:29, archived)

I had a fish

that was nine when it died. I gave it a special burial by covering it with toilet paper before I flushed.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:44, archived)

call the cops!

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:23, archived)

that manfat on his top lip?

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:26, archived)

that's the plaster

underneath his skin.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:28, archived)

Are you saying

that Belgiums greatest detective is nought more than a plaster of paris replica?

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:29, archived)

you're

reading between the lines now.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:32, archived)

Probably

but what a thought. What if all fictional detectives were some form of hobbyist constructed medium(what?).
Sherlock would be made out of paper mache and Miss Marple made of plasticine.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:37, archived)

aha, you might be onto something...

a balsawood Inspector Morse, perhaps?

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:47, archived)

Yes, yes.

A Crochet Inspector Frost.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:49, archived)

fuzzy felt Dalziel & Pascoe

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:53, archived)

Cardboard Columbo.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:57, archived)

macrame

Bergerac

(

Spoon, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:58, archived)

Lego

Cagney & Lacey

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:02, archived)

Crossstitch

Sweeney.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:03, archived)

I like it...

Meccano Kojak

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:04, archived)

Tapestry

Starsky & Hutch

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:08, archived)

hmmm...

Milliput Wycliffe?

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:11, archived)

Duplo Dempsey & Makepeace.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:14, archived)

HELP!

My Office block is under attack...

Well, actually that aint true, oor server's doon and i cannae dee owt withoot it..shame...

(Jamsie, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:22, archived)

that's an interesting mix

of regional accents you have there Jamsie. I'd get that seen to if I were thou.

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:25, archived)

Boab

It's wan-ay those now fangled keyboard that slips inta Aberdonian, and Glaswegion accents at unpre-dictabul moments, y'know?

(Jamsie, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:28, archived)

ken

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:45, archived)

Aye..

Diz you ken fita mean?

(Jamsie, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:47, archived)

barbie

turates

(

helmetcream, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:51, archived)

...

whit?

(Jamsie, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:14, archived)

It's a form of madness...

Where you dye your hair blonde, marry someone called Ken then shout FUCK! a lot.

Oh, sorry, thought you said Barbie Tourettes....

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:21, archived)

By Royal Appointment...

Official streaker to the Queen.

(Mr Blister, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:17, archived)

mmm. treason!

(

SpunkyBackpack, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:22, archived)

Nice

..the old James Hewitt is the father thing

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:24, archived)

and

good up-chuck...anyone we know?

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:26, archived)

No, some american.

...off www.pukepics.com. Very respectable splatter zone though. Points for artistic merit.

(

SpunkyBackpack, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:28, archived)

but why

does he appear to have a asti bottle stuffed between his legs??

(

Darkedge, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:30, archived)

definitely asti?

that's some pretty sharp asti-recognition skills you have there.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:56, archived)

LMAO!

nice arse Mr Blister

(

limpfish, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:30, archived)

I have my appraisal at 3pm any words of wisdom???

I’m going to mention that I think as a director he suck cuntymints and that the quality of the project resembles fucksocks!

(lunchbreaklarry, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:16, archived)

Tell him he is

a great and inspiring leader and that without him the whole company would fall apart

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:23, archived)

I advise you

to go to your appraisal naked, drape your knob over the appraisers desk and enquire 'sausage?'

(

Spoon, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:24, archived)

so to sum it up

I will tell him he is
a great and inspiring leader and that without him the whole company would fall apart and at the same time be butt naked and mention the word "sausage"

(lunchbreaklarry, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:26, archived)

yes

I think that would strike just the right tone of sincerity and dedication to the job

(

Spoon, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:28, archived)

i agree

a good mix

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:29, archived)

as soon as it starts

hit the floor, roll over kicking and waving, screaming 'I CAN'T FUCKING HUMMUS...sweet jesus, i can't fucking hummus' - until the ambulance arrives.

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:28, archived)

Tell him

you love him.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:31, archived)

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:32, archived)

You don't know me but

I need a motherfucki' drink!

(Freshaer, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:15, archived)

Your round?

Cheers!

I'll have a pint of pink Bacardi Breezer please.

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:16, archived)

Here you go!

(lunchbreaklarry, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:18, archived)

Pink!!!!

Ok I'll buy this time, but PINK???

(Freshaer, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:20, archived)

Hey!!

I got delete edit reply!

(Freshaer, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:21, archived)

The power

is terrifying

(

fishbear, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:22, archived)

you're going to drink girlie drinks, you might as well do it properly.

Anyone for a Bacardi Breezer drinking contest?

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:30, archived)

Yee Fuckin Ha!

..and I'm bringin me grannie!

www.bacardi-breezer.co.uk/fun/gameGran.asp

(Freshaer, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:16, archived)

GI Photo Joe

theres some nice stuff here, in a macabre but sweet kind of way
CLICK

(

santexo, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:13, archived)

fat boab

an artist's impression

*childish snigger*

(

stouffer, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:13, archived)

sorry

that's a lot bigger than i thought. anyone know how to do that width thing?

(

stouffer, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:14, archived)

yes

width=280 height=400 before you close the img src tag

(

PeterSeychelles, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:16, archived)

after the second " ...

put in width = 280 (for front page border fit) then close the angle brackets.

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:16, archived)

that's an old photo you scamp

I was much younger then. It's very flattering

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:22, archived)

Cuntymints

Can you buy them in a shop?

If not, why not?

I'll give Trebor a ring right now.

BTW did you know that Trebor is 'Robert' backwards? Fascinating I know.

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:09, archived)

They come in a tremendous

array of varieties...see here.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:12, archived)

what about all the new varieties

cuntyfruits, cuntynuts and savoury cuntyhummus?

oh...and cuntymuffins!

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:15, archived)

Fruity Cuntmuffins!

Gentlemen, we are fodder for marketing focus groups...

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:17, archived)

Because

you know where you are with a Cuntymint.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:18, archived)

did you know that

Burtons backwards is Snot Rub?
and warburtons is Snot Rub Raw?

(twelveways, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:25, archived)

Two Words

Rolo Muffins. I am picking the crumbs out of my keyboard as we speak.

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:06, archived)

i think you need to try

jaffa cake muffins!

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:08, archived)

Until this moment...

I never knew such a divine creation existed! Hosannah! A new King of Dessertry is Born!

Think I'll give Yorkie Muffins a miss though (a bit "Girlie" eh? 8o)

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:13, archived)

Give it a good shake

You'll be amazed what you find in there.

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:08, archived)

my pals

put my keyboard through the dishwasher and tumble dryer the other week when I went out to town (seriously), they spilt beer on it then decided it would be funny to fix it. The alarming thing is it work now

(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:14, archived)

I stick loads of computers

in the dishwasher - come out a treat. Just got to make sure there's no batteries there an' yer fine.
Tumble dryer = bad though; they're v.good at creating static, which we all know is a Bad Thing

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:19, archived)

Always use Bounce when tumble drying your computer...

stops static and leaves it smelling summer-fresh (the kind of summer where you've just puked in a rosebush)

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:22, archived)

Rolomuffins!

Sounds like a swear word.
'Oh Rolomuffins' actually 'Fuckmuffins' has a nice ring to it.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:08, archived)

I don't know why

but the word "MUFF" has always appealed to me.

(lunchbreaklarry, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:12, archived)

oh yes

I've always been a fan of muff.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:16, archived)

i'm quite partial to..

Flange myself, and have been know to snigger at the word "Boobies" for no apparent reason.

(Jamsie, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:24, archived)

Fuckmuffins!

Just wanted to say it again.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:28, archived)

not

winkies?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:30, archived)

Breasty-Dumplings?

(Jamsie, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:31, archived)

Jubblies?

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:32, archived)

One i REALLY hate..

If there is one word i HATE hearing those wonderfull things called breasts being called is "PAPS"..(shudder)

(Jamsie, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:36, archived)

Seventies kick.

Knockers.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:40, archived)

Um..

Fun Bags, pleasure domes, puppy dogs(??), mamories, mamory glands, Juggs..

(Jamsie, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:47, archived)

Ninnies,

Norks, Fun Bags and Fatty Clappers!

(moonbloke, Wed 8 May 2002, 14:11, archived)

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:02, archived)

Cool

although Mr.Jackson is whiter than that, he is now translucent.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:05, archived)

Time for Granada Plus...

Been re-running The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes.

JEremy BRett- Best....Holmes....EVER! (apart from Michael Caine in the spoof film)

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 12:57, archived)

Aw Fucksicles!

Musta Finished - they got Poirot instead. Poor substitute.

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:00, archived)

How about

a Poirot photoshop challenge?

Those belgians....

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:02, archived)

When bored wives attack on Adtrader.co.uk

"Frank Thomas. Hardly used. Would suit large man, Located in Brighouse, Tel: ******* £50.00"

Anyone?

(

CarlosTheJackal, protector of innocence, taker of liberties, Wed 8 May 2002, 12:54, archived)

Who is Keyser McSoze??

Sorry- too hungover to do it very well

(AlfGarnett, Wed 8 May 2002, 12:51, archived)

Well there we are...

(Paulywauly, Wed 8 May 2002, 12:48, archived)

Bless

Is he wiping a tear away?

(Fraggle, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:00, archived)

Not photoshopped

clicky

(fragment, Wed 8 May 2002, 12:48, archived)

Hehe

That was pun-tastic for the BBC :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 8 May 2002, 12:51, archived)

Woo!

The internet saves Gandalf from drowning!

Someone call New Line cinema, there could be a script in this...

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 8 May 2002, 12:54, archived)

crikey

where were annanova? eh?

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 8 May 2002, 12:54, archived)

i just read it there...

clicky

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 8 May 2002, 12:59, archived)

hahahaa...

"He might look funny now but at least he is swimming about with great agility. In fact, Gandalf is playing with his plastic plants and eating his food like there's no tomorrow."

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Wed 8 May 2002, 13:25, archived)

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