My irrational hatred is fuckers who just wade in without taking stock of where they are
they miss out all the detail and just go on about shit which isn't relevant to anyone.
( zulu eh?, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 15:22, 2 replies)

Derelict House
In my opinion, you havent had a complete childhood unless you have explored the wonders of an old, creepy derelict house.

A couple of decades ago, my brother, our mate next door and I decided we'd check out an old burned out house a few blocks away. At about 7 o'clock, just as it was getting dark we made our way to this place. We climbed through the broken fence and made our way to the front of the house, through the brambles which cut our legs to pieces.
A few older lads used the place during the day for various, dubious activities so the door had already been kicked of its hinges and entry was easy.
The council had removed the stairs to stop access to the "unsafe" first floor so someone had laid a huge pile of wood about 6 feet high so they could access the first floor through the hole where the stairs should be. We made our way up and onto the first floor. About 5 minutes after our arrival our mate heard a creaking noise from one of the rooms and went to listen at one of the closed doors. my brother and I backed away and dropped down on to the pile of wood, watching from a low view point. Suddenly my brother screamed "fucking hell there's someone in there" and flew out the house. Heart racing i followed with great speed and met my brother on the other end of the fence. Our mate was nowhere to be seen...but his screams could be heard "ARGH...FUCKING HELP ME"
needless to say i shit a brick.
my brother said he'd been pissing around, didnt hear a thing and just wanted to scare us both.
so why the fuck was our mate screaming like a frigging banshee.
We didnt know what the fuck to do. we couldnt go get help from our dad cos he'd of belted us for going into the house in the first place. right we'll go and tell our mates parents then...
Just as we were about to leave our mate come out of the house, his face smeared in tears and snot and trousers covered in piss.
"what's wrong" my brother asked
"it felt like someone had grabbed me and wouldn't let go" said matey
"but my shirt was caught on a fucking nail"

Me and my brother fell about laughing.

We still rib matey about that today.
(Pectacular Almost spectacular...but somethings missing!, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 15:19, 2 replies)

Crash
A Caterham 7 wedged under a lorry.

Driving home to Hastings, under the train bridge, saw blood, saw wreckage, and both me and my pal spent the whole day wishing to have never driven that way. Wouldn't wish that on anyone. We weren't even rubber-necking, it was right there and we were right there. Horrid.
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Thu 7 Apr 2011, 15:19, 1 reply)

I was in the house on my own
and I had just watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the tv. It's not the scariest film in the world but my god it's disturbing and well (on topic) creepy. Anyroad it had finished and I was sitting there feeling a little weird when I head a noise comming from the garden. So I got up and peered through the curtains only to see a horrible gaunt face looming out of the darkness. I screamed like a little girl and ran to the sofa where the realisation hit me that it was my own reflection.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 15:16, 2 replies)

A single footstep,
in gravel, behind me.
(djgalaxe, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 15:14, 2 replies)

Quite embarrasing really....
Was working late on tuesday night, thought I would waste a few minutes watching trailers on the Apple site...

Watched one for a film called Insiduous, fuck me scared the shit outta me....there is a scene where something appears behind her husband that had the most effect on me

So i've left work and am driving home, slow down coming to a roundabout and something pokes me in the back....fuck me it's a demon like the one in the film....I go cold and I mean goosebumps and hairs standing up on end...I carry on hoping to get to the nearest town/village where it is brighter (dont ask me why this would help!)

I cna see lights ahead...looks like a village...salvation is a hand!

Then another poke in the back....I then take off my seat belt because if there is something in the car with me I want out...seriously I want out of the car...I will jump out even if we are moving....no fucking demon will get me!

Get to the village...heating on full but still chilled to the bone...pull over in a public car park and leap out the car...it was only a box of stuff ont he back seating moving forward everytime I slowed down!

Took me about 5-10 mins to get back in tthe car, got home, got out, got in the house and turned all the lights on.

Never ever been so freaked out before....realise I was a complete tit but back then it seemed so real

Fucking vivid imagination :(
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 15:08, 1 reply)

Matthew Kelly

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:58, 5 replies)

Noel Edmonds.
Someone once said of him, "Behind that beard lives a rapist."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:56, 7 replies)

I had too much imagination as a kid
The human brain has evolved to pick out patterns in things remarkably well and is pretty much how what you see is processed. It also is very good at recognising faces in things. Faces that are little more than a few swirls or patches.

As a kid I used to pick them out all the time, usually in my bedroom on the night when I was trying to sleep. Although the door was shut, there was a pane of glass above and the glow of the lights on downstairs combined with the glow of a streetlight outside was just enough to be able to see vague outlines of things in my room. The swirly pattern on my brother's wardrobe opposite my bed contained at least four tenuous faces. The pile of stuff on top of my wardrobe looked like some monster looking down at me, there was some stuff on the windowsill which looked like some small creature hiding there and a collection of shadows and a speaker from my brother's stereo on the wall looked a lot like a large person standing in the corner of the room waiting for me to fall asleep with my head out of the covers.

I spent a lot of my childhood sleeping under the blankets. How I never suffocated I never know. What made it worse was when I needed the toilet during the night, I had to walk across the room to put the light on, and then I used to tear along the landing to the bathroom in the dark because for some reason there wasn't a light-bulb in the light. Then I used to come as far out of the bathroom as the light cord would let me before turning it off and bolting back to my room, turning the light off and darting under my covers.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:54, 9 replies)

This guy in my hometown...
I never figured out this guy's deal. His name was Steve, and he was freakishly tall, and spoke disturbingly slowly, but was still apparently a genius studying physics at the time.

A week before I moved from Canada to Korea, he came up to me.

"So I hear you're moving to Korea."

"Yeah."

"I had a chance to have anal sex with an Asian girl once. But it didn't fit, so she said I could pee on her instead."

"Yeah, thanks."

I mentioned this to a female friend, who related this conversation:

"I have a friend who gets off by urinating on small mammals. Cats... dogs... hamsters... raccoons... badgers... voles..." (and so on for a few minutes)

Oddly, a few years later he started dating my younger sister. It didn't last long.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:52, 2 replies)

finding photographic negatives on the floor in a corridor at school
of young women parading around in their bra and pants for some dude in a chair.

I was too chicken to get them developed but I am fairly certain there was no knobs on show. All the same, a little creepy to be honest
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:51, 6 replies)

Woody Allen.

(lanternchikk hat eine schwere Bohlenallergie, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:49, 1 reply)

Metropolitan Line confetti
I often see an old, mental, fuck-nugget of a woman sitting on the Metropolitan line trains, spending the whole of her journey tearing The Metro into tiny pieces and scattering them onto the floor.

She creeps me out no fucking end...weird cunt!
(Pectacular Almost spectacular...but somethings missing!, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:35, Reply)

....
Smash Monkey suggestion for QOTW being used for the second time running......

Next it will be human sacrifices!
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:31, 5 replies)

Devil dog
I've not often partaken of the jazz cigarette since uni - but at a get-together with the old crowd, disgusting quanities of drink were imbibed, and it seemed like a good idea to relive past glories. All was well with the world.

Until I got home, and let the dogs out. Standing outside, breathing the fresh air, enjoying the light, misty rain and trying to sober up a bit, I saw something staring at me from within the hedges at the top of the garden. Baleful, unblinking, it neither moved nor made a sound. Just those huge, wideset eyes, reflecting the light of the moon, full of malevolent, silent menace.

As silently and quickly as I was able, I got the dogs back into the house and shakily wondered what I should do. The garden's fenced all around - so whatever got in would struggle to get out, and I couldn't keep the dogs inside forever. But the *size* of the thing - my initial htoughts had been maybe a stray pitbull, or English terrier - but the eyes were too wide, too large for that. Half-remembered stories of big cat sightings arose unbidden in my mind, and were hurriedly pushed back down.

Drunken wisdom allowed for only one course of action. Nervously, heart beating quicker than it had any right to, I put on a heavy jacket, grabbed a hammer and a fishing knife, and slowly crept up the garden, away from the comforting lights of the house, into the stygian gloom.

Still, it did not move. Still, it did not blink. Its steely basilisk gaze never left mine, and seemed to turn my muscles to cold stone. Forcing myself forwards, I edged further into the dark, into the hedges, to meet my adversary face to face.

And that's more or less how I ended up pissed, stoned, and scared, at the top of my garden, at three in the morning, in the rain, menacing two knot-holes in the fence lit from behind by the security light on a granny flat.

:(
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:28, 5 replies)

Buggerbollocks, I'm sick of the QOTW finishing when I'm still writing
So I'll post it anyway. Sod the lot of you.

I really hate find it creepy that people don't believe that astronauts walked on the Moon and it was all faked. If that was the case, then why do it more than once? You'd proved your point with Apollo 11. Why stage another 5 landings? The arguments that these people supply are just plain stupid:

The shadows are not parallel indicating a local light source rather than the sun which created parallel shadows:
This is because the Moon's surface isn't completely smooth. Stand on an uneven surface and the shadows from the sun are not always parallel if they fall on to a depression or mound in the soil.

There is no atmosphere on the Moon, therefore the sunlight isn't scattered so the surfaces of objects in shadow would be very black. In the pictures, this isn't the case meaning there were other lights:
Yes, the light isn't scattered by the non-existent air. But it is scattered by the surface of the Moon which is quite reflective. If it wasn't and you stood with your back to the Sun, you wouldn't be able to see the surface in front of you. The fact that you can means that light is reflected back. There is actually more than one light source. The Earth is vast in the lunar sky, and reflects a lot of light.

It was a big secret and everybody kept quiet:
Really? Everybody? You're looking at a quantity of personnel greater than the population of East Yorkshire. It would be an impossible task making that many people keep such a vast secret for well over 40 years.

And that's only three weak arguments.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:27, 19 replies)

The unit I work in deals with quite a lot of sensitive and confidential information.
As such, we have huge metal filing cabinets, which have shelving units inside that rotate.

To rotate them, you must release them with a foot pedal. It's a very basic mechanism, and often jams a bit, requiring a few tries. As such they clank quite a bit.

My unit used to sit next to these cabinets, and one day a guy came along to use one. This guy is a stereotypical nerd. He's in his late 40s/early 50s, really fancies himself as "intelligent" and does, as he pronounces it, "kahrahtay". I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he's a virgin.

He pushed the foot pedal and got no response, and kept trying, resulting in quite a bit of noise.

Ever jocular, my boss said to him, "Oh Steve, are you breaking the cabinet again?"

"I DIDN'T TOUCH HER!" was the immediate, forceful response.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:26, 5 replies)

Old joke is old
My irrational hatred is people who rehash that tired old joke about posting late/in the wrong qotw.

That is all, back to my lurking...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:24, 2 replies)

Crane Flies/Daddy-Long-Legs
The way their legs dangle...they're like little flying zombies.

They should all be shot.
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:17, 5 replies)

Christopher Walken
Those cold, dead, eyes while he leaps around the mansion in supposed euphoric joy... creeeeeepy.
(RozDoyle, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I've got ivy going up the side of my house
That's pretty creepy.
(Bushcricket, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Dr. Shambolic gives me the creeps.

( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Reasonably massive Drugs.
The scene is Glastonbury festival, Mid 90s. A bunch of filthy hippies are sitting in a tent talking nonsense and eating ketchup sandwiches.

Yours truely is giggling gently, watching bright colours pinwheel accross the roof of the tent, watching top hatted magicians tesseleate into an infinite tunnel that would have had M.C. Escher biting his pencil in awe.
Lucy is in the sky, and her diamonds are shining brighter than the sun.

So, like a damn fool I stand up and head out for a walk.
As soon as I step out of the tent the trip turns on me. The landscape around me is no longer comprised of a disorganised scattering of tents in a green field, but an endless plain covered with the rusting corpses of dead robots.
War machines all, their gun barrels silent, tracks blown apart, metal skins shredded, and hydraulic fluid leaking into the cold dry earth like pale yellow blood.
All rendered in the precise, pin sharp, style of Brian Bolland.

Perhaps nothing to shiver about on a warm spring day in the real world.
But you weren't there man, you weren't there...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:09, 9 replies)

Are Scaryduck and Smash Monkey an item?
*disclaimer*

This comment has no relation to this weeks QOTW.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:09, 6 replies)

David Cameron's
face.
(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Christ almighty
see you all next week?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:03, 19 replies)

It has to be
This.


(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 14:03, 39 replies)

Me being first.
Damn you PJ.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 13:58, 1 reply)

My old music teacher slept with three girls in year 11
That's pretty creepy.
( Peej, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 13:58, 13 replies)