frankspencer

I entirely agree. Having experienced the kinds of problem I did when trying to find work after an Arts degree (major/minor in English/Philosophy ffs!), my kids are going to be getting a stern talking to when they finish school.

Do a degree that means something, or get a job. I'm not financing your trip through university for you to do what I did and end up fucked.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:48, Reply)

The World's Local Bank - my arse.
Slightly off-topic, but thought as HSBC are generally getting a good kicking on here I'd put in my two penn'orth.

Mum and dad bear emigrated to Malta this year. On selling the house in England, they needed a swift transfer of funds in order to purchase the bigger house they'd agreed to buy in Malta. Easy peasy. Their account in England was at HSBC, and with a handy branch at the end of their road in St. Paul's Bay, that's where they opened the account in Malta.

Except Malta HSBC wouldn't accept the funds transfer from England HSBC because "we just can't". Whether it's because it's not the same bank, they fell out at last year's christmas party or just couldn't be arsed, we couldn't get to the bottom of. Much panic and fear ensued - if the same bank wouldn't transfer the funds, how the hell would they get hold of their retirement fund and the money they needed for their house?

Simply by taking their business to titchy Bank of Valletta as it transpired, who managed the transfer of funds seamlessly.

HSBC? Cunts, the world over.
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:48, Reply)

Debt Debt Debt
I am usually very good with money, i amnaged to get through uni without using my student overdraft, basicaly by working very hard and not going mental as much as i would have liked.

When i finished uni it was a different story, i was working hard pauying rent and living, happily enough off about 30 squids a week and whatever i could rob (food and boooze wise) from work (lots at the time but thats another story) anyway a couple of years pass, i spend time on the dole living in a Tipi in wales it was great, came back to liverpool got a job or two weekly wages and all that, then i decided, right i want a proper job, so i went to work for vodafone in a call centre run by chimps (retarded chimps at that) and got my first salary paid job, since gettin paid by salary i diddint get into the black for 3 years, when i left that job and got others my overdraft would fill up and deplete itself with lunar regualrity, ho hum there you go.

There came a time when an over zealous housemnte decided that we should pay all of our bills on time and, as they had no money at the time and our electricity was going to be cut off, i thought id take out a little loan, a couple of hundred, just to cover the bill and rent and a bit of spending, the bank decided, pah £300 no no no, £1500 is the smallest amount the bank will give you, i should have told em where to go and lived in the dark with no telly, i lived in a tipi after all. I took the loan................I lost my job for going to the dentist (see dentists post) i spent all the money and after a while my card got reteined ( by me actually i was doing a couple of shifts in an offlicence, i bought some fags and was told by the till to retain my own card, and got £45 for the service i had provided to the bank yay)

So i have studiously ignored my ex bank for the past 2 years, they dont know where i live as i have moved flat 4 times since then, i have a nice bank account with an overdraft that i try not to use (under a slightly diferent name) and so far so good, excpet whe i go to use one of thier cahs machines i get "the fear" in case a load of angry bank clerks come running out shouting "weve got her, now pay us back" my thinking is if i can avoid them for a few more years they will leave me alone, *looks behind self* heres hoping.

length in time another 5 years at least
(superkitty is neither super nor a kitty, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:43, Reply)

To all young people
Don't got to University at 18. But still go. Wait till you're 21 having done a shit job with no money for 3 years and can then appreciate the true value of education.
(Andy Crane Arse Magik, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:42, Reply)

To all young people
Don't go to university. Seriously. It costs too much, you'll spend more time doing nothing (drunk) than learning. and once you've got a degree you'll find it's worth nothing to employers (and worth shit-all anyway now that everyone's got one). Better to start work at 18 and get some experience. By 21 you'll be in a much better position than the grads. There are people who are officially illiterate earning more money from sales commission at my company than I am getting.

(This doesn't apply for useful subjects like Law, IT, engineering etc. And if you go to Oxford or Cambridge, where a degree still has some meaning)
(frankspencer, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:39, Reply)

Che’s top tips
If you’re in a hole, stop digging. Don’t pretend that making the hole deeper or wider will make it more comfortable, don’t go borrowing a bigger shovel from some bloke you met down the pub who said you can have it as long as you want because he’s not using it at the moment.

If you get stuck down the hole, stop for a minute and think of a way to get out. Wishing for a ladder won’t help, you may have to construct small steps in the side of the hole as footholds/handholds, it will take a long time, will be messy and hard work, but eventually, you will be out of the hole. You will only be at ground level, but at least you’ll be able to see the hills off in the distance.

I like Frankspencer’s tips, all us oldies must sound really boring, but I’m afraid to say, life is dull, when you do it right. The trick is, not to make it hell, and you can’t do better than Mr Micawber’s rule for life for that.

Thus endeth the lesson.

p.s. one more message to go!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:38, Reply)

Not debt - but trouble with the mrs
a few weeks ago i was at heathrow and on a whim i bought a cartier watch from Harrods with it came a cartier cleaning set. when i arrived back home the mrs saw cartier and said, "you havent gone and bought a F*******g cartier watch have you?". Noting the tone, I denied all knowledge and explained it was a cleaning kit. I am in Austria now on business and I asked her to look up a telephone number- and low and behold she found the cartier......I think I am in trouble when i get back tomorrow
(moodydealer, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:32, Reply)

Holiday
I paid for a Holiday that i didn't go on because i split up with my Missus a week before, had to take a loan out for a grand to pay for it.

Still i got to spend the week with the girl i left the ex for, which was nice.
(Pesky Eskimo Gadzooks!, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:30, Reply)

JOHN MORGAN
I lent this person nearly £500 at university, did I see any of it ever again?

No, the cheques he wrote bounced, and his girlfriend MARY JONES wouldn't tell me where he was living.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:29, Reply)

Life
I went to uni, got two qualifications (an hnd and a degree), and excelled.

My first job was for £10500 as a computer engineer! twats.

next job was a rope engineer.
13 grand.
twats.

to cut a long story short, I broke down on the phone to my parents one day about my debt situation of around £18000. They transferred 3 grand into my account to clear my graduate loan which was chewing up my money each month.

I spanked the whole fucking lot on chang in 3 months.

Oh yes. Kneel before me.
(Pensive, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:26, Reply)

HSBeasts
I don't have too many issues with finance, being rather poor as a child taught me a lot about the value of money and having to work for it, that said i have 3 credit cards at the moment (although i only use one and pay off the balance each month it is just for online purchases).

Anyway, i registered a card i don't use (and is still at my parents address not my own house i bought a few years ago) to register for PayPal. since i don't really trust it and reckon its a bit of a con i usually send cheques, for once i didn't and paid £2.04p for something.

Picking the bill up 3 days after the payment date i went in and paid cash. Next month i get a bill for £2.06p

Called up HSBC and explained i'd paid the bill and had they recieved my £2.04p? The confirmed they had but said i owed them 2p interest!

They weren't having any of it the tight gits so i paid it over the counter.... with a cheque. Apparently it costs the bank a good few pence to process a cheque so that'll learn em!

Not expecting to make a huge dent in the profits but the cashiers face when i wrote a cheque out for 2p was priceless.

5t
(fivetide, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:25, Reply)

the Ex
Bought a house, I payed for most the deposit, most the mortgage and I earnt 1.5/1.8 times her salery.... she got HALF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(timberwolf0122 is turkey volume guessing man! Guessing the volumes in terms of turkeys since, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:20, Reply)

I was the king of debt.
When I was a student (in the days before massive student loans) I had two jobs earning me over 150 quid a week (big money in the student days). And coupled with the grant money I felt like a king, and unfortunately lived like one.

I'd never use public transport but took taxis everywhere. I maxed out 2 credit cards by using them in my local pub. I used to write cheques to friends for amounts of money under my cheque guarantee card to ensure they were honoured, despite being completely over my overdraft limit. I went out drinking every night and ended up having so many meetings with my bank manager that I felt like they were a friend. The pub I worked in even let me put post-dated cheques in the till so that they'd go through with out questions asked.
It all came to a head when my switch card was taken away from me in Asda one afternoon. I'd tried running the card in my local pub 3 times that afternoon but it had been declined so I headed of to asda to get something to eat and ponder, I presumed it was a faulty card reader in the pub. The bank had charged me 50 quid for every time the card had been used over my limit. So that threw an extra 500 quid onto my overdraft and my account was locked up. I had a very angry sounding head honcho from the bank on the phone and was told that they were going to take me to court. I used the only trick at my disposal, I claimed alcoholism and depression. Horrible I know, but I practically was alcoholic so it wasn't to far off the mark. Managed to sort out the probs with the bank but have always been in debt since. Constantly maxed out credit cards and always at the overdraft limit at the end of the month.

Until I met the missus anyway. Now we've both got 5 grand + in the bank, own both our cars, have no credit cards, and will have the mortgage paid off in 9 years. And I'm only 27, god knows how it's happened but it has. So there's hope for us all kids. If I can do it, god knows everyone else can!


OH! And! It's my 4th B3ta birthday in 2 days!
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:20, Reply)

Or...
Alternatively, don't print off letters from the internet complaining about pissy bank charges and make someone whose bank owe them over £500 for an admin error wait 8 months to have it rectified because the complaints department is snowed under with people sending in letters they've printed off the internet.

If you think it's unfair at least have the balls to complain yourself instead of sending in a generic letter when if someone hadn't done it for you you wouldn't have bothered
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:19, Reply)

i really don't want to think about this
at least i only have a credit card to pay off.

BUT whoever may have (or may not have, we suspect) lived in our flat before was a woman with a lengthy eastern european surname. mine is short and saxon. as is my other half's.

this does not, however, stop the baliffs letters and knocks on the door demanding property to the value of £30,000. I don't think all the stuff in the flat would add up to more than £2k, if you're feeling generous, but i'd still quite like to hang on to it, thanks.

I have taken to carrying my drivers license with me at all times, and am slightly terrified of the plan to get a mortgage next year in case this has some effect.

grr.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:18, Reply)

For anyone who has paid bank charges in the past six years
Get the banks back and reclaim any unfair charges they have charged you over the last six years. Go to:
www.moneysavingexpert.com/cgi-bin/viewnews.cgi?newsid1141050760,24632,

I have no connection with the site, but I *really* hate banks and nothing would give me more pleasure than 10,000 b3tans getting them back for years of overcharging.

Everyone, do this. Make them pay you back, and spend the proceeds on kitten food or beer.

Oh, a story. Errm,

There was the time I devised a foolproof way of guaranteed winning on online betting by covering all options in a footie match, at slightly different odds and stakes with different companies.

Except I made a small mistake in the spreadsheet, and missed off £100 in my calculations. If only Iceland had won.
(lardaholics anonymous, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:12, Reply)

Boxing day is Bailiff day!
Christmas is the season of goodwill!
So a couple of years back it was our first Christmas in our new house but we kept getting letters for the fat chav couple that used to live in our house.

So you can imagine my delight when doing the washing up to see a transit van full of blokes driving past the house several times staring at me.

Eventually they rang the door and asked if I was Mr Payne (former owner). I said I was not and he looked a little put out. He kept asking about him so i decided to cut to the chase;
"Are you the bailiffs?" I asked
"I can't really answer that sir." he replied.
"That's a shame as I'd like to help them out." said I.
"Well we might work in that line of work then sir..." came the response.
"Ah, well you might find the car you're here to reposess at 6 XXXXX close, Newport Pagenell where Mr Payne now lives." :-) I cheerfully told him.
"Oh, err... thanks very much!"

And with that he was on his way.

Yup, having got pissed off with 10 months of credit refusal and debt recovery letters for the former occupier I sent the Bailiffs round on boxing Day. I'm a git, but they had it coming. I take financial responsibility very seriously and have no tolerance for people who twat about with money and debt. If you're in debt, no you cannot afford that new phone/car/holiday etc.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 13:03, Reply)

I like...
...to get drunk when I have money worries; that way I don't care about them.

It's so much easier than facing up to reality.
(misteroz, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:59, Reply)

I live in Switzerland at the moment.
It's the most ridiculously expensive place in the world, where a weekly shop costs you somewhere in the region of 100 francs (= about £45). For one person. Sadly I'm one of the worst budgeters in this world and they keep telling me I need things like textbooks and expensive temporary residence permits. Fortunately my rent is about £200/month.

However, the Swiss bank I tried to open an account with are bastards. I've been here nearly five weeks and opened the account on the first day. First of all they copied my address down wrong. Then I only got half the paperwork they sent me when the girl who opened the account the same day as me and lives in the same building as me got all of it. Then I asked them to amend my address and resend it all, and they, uh, haven't. All I get is "the terms of our student account have changed, please read this pamphlet...", so they clearly know I exist. I'm meant to be getting a grant from the Swiss government to that account but as I can't get to the fucking thing I've no idea if it's even gone in.

Therefore, I'm paying through the nose in Maestro UK charges every time I take money out and will probably have had to sell a part of my body on eBay by the time I leave here. Bastards.
( Maladicta, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:54, Reply)

Reverse Fuck Up?
Few years ago, my mum inherited from a couple of deceased relatives a fair sum which by now is well past the £500,000 mark.
Unfortunately, she kind of refuses to accept the fact that she is loaded and still worries about money. My dad was quitely smug in the knowledge that when he retired, they were set up for life. Sadly, he never made it that far after passing on from an asbestos related cancer (50's wonder material was it? Cheers, fuckers).
Without him, she has kind of blanked off the fact that there is a fortune in the bank.
So I have a mother who works as a lollipop lady, earns over £2000 a month from wages/pensions/investments, lives in a mortgage free house that is worth about £200k but still insists on buying all her clothes from charity shops and (to be totally honest) looks poor.
She's always complaining that she doesn't do much (a big hint that she would like to be taken somewhere - never digs into her fortune for tea and cakes either) but when you suggest she spends some of her fortune on a cruise/trip/holiday, it gets blanked.
Oh well, you never know, may inherit some eventually - bet she outlives me :(
(Darth Thump, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:46, Reply)

I don't do the stock market anymore
I bought about 20,000 Energis shares and a week later, their bankers, in a very questionable move put the company into bankruptcy for 20 minutes while they divvied up the assets amongst themselves and then bought the company again, for a song, leaving all the shareholders without a penny.

They then snorted massive lines of coke, and lit their Cuban cigars with £50 notes before retiring to a golf club for a money fight.

I'm not bitter.
(lardaholics anonymous, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:33, Reply)

Sex = debt.
At least when you go to the genre of gentlemens clubs I was led to one fateful night.

Utterly smashed due to a lockin mere minutes before arriving at said venue, I awoke in the morning with a brazillian godess by my side, in a hotel that took me 25mins to find the exit, and a bank account £1,700 lighter than it was 12 hours previously. I only had £200 in there to start with.

I don't deal with debt very well, thus I merely have a single current account, no credit cards and I most definitely don't do loans. Therefore I was in a state of panic for the next 6 months to clear that debt.
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:29, Reply)

Will work for food
Mortgages, maintenance £2,500 pcm
Salary £2,500 pcm

If you've got chips, when do you cash them in? Did someone mention food? Fucking fur coat no knickers existence.
(Countryslicker, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:25, Reply)

Never lend friends money
I lent a good friend around £800 a few years ago for a holiday. They were both employed (he in a very good job), just temporarily cash-strapped (as can happen).

Well 5 years later I'm still waiting for the money. Bastards.

Oh, and I also have an endowment policy on the mortgage. How fucking thick am I?
(SpangleDangle >->)))'>, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:25, Reply)

Non-uni
Reading all these Uni-debt related messages has sort of depressed me and cheered me up.. depressed me because it's sad to think that some of the academically hard-working got shafted career wise.. and cheered me up because at the tender age of 18 I was faced with a choice.
Go a few hundred miles down south to study at Dartington College of Arts for a degree in Creative Writing - a college surrounded by rolling countryside, cheap booze and not a very strident work ethic.. or, stay in my home town and get a job.

Imagining the subsequent debt of the degree course I opted for the job. I stayed at home, rent-free, and saved some money.
Now, ironically, I have a job that everyone assumes you need a degree to do, and the salary to match.
Trust me, I'm not bragging or anything, I'm sure there's lots of Uni life adventures and experiances I missed out on, but I am glad at 30 I'm in the black, have a healthy savings account, own a house and have no debt worries.

It was probably the only decision I made at 18 that was right too...
(Hicksion, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:22, Reply)

evil credit cards
One of my part-time jobs is at that department store whose name rhymes with "Gacy's." To get our employee discount when we buy stuff, we have to pay for it with their store credit card; that way they can track our purchases and make sure we're not abusing the privileges. Employee discount is usually 20% and interest rate on the credit card is 21%, so if you don't pay off your whole balance every month, there's no discount for you!

When I went to buy a Vespa earlier this year, I knew I wanted to pay about half the cost in cash and finance the rest. I assumed that financing was just like when you buy a car -- you get a loan with a (hopefully) manageable interest rate and pay it off over a few years. I found out that financing for nearly all two-wheeled vehicles is done via credit card-type accounts with much higher interest than auto loans. The last thing I needed was another damn credit card. (btw, new Vespas cost more in the US than in the UK because they are marketed as upscale playthings rather than practical transport. ugh.)
( cynfulcynner ...another American nutter, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:14, Reply)

The student loans cunts
Took money straight out of my account on the day i finished my course - without giving me a chance to defer.
So i moved bank accounts and completely ignored their existence for about 8 years.
They were calling my mum up all the time, trying to get her to give them my address. They used heavy tactics, such as threatening to send round bailiffs to take her property (which of course they can't do), and their lowest point was when they used to phone her up pretending to be old school mates trying to get in touch with me. Luckily my mum was pretty icy and called their bluff by asking a few details about their friendship with me.
Wankers, though.
Finally, out of the blue, after 8 years of a total wall of silence, i paid the whole loan off in one go.
I bet that got them scratching their sneaky little heads.


Oh and Frankspencer, re your number one top tip:
1) Don't carry cards. Only take out as much cash as you have budgeted for that week. If you run out, hard luck. You'll be more careful next week.

That's my (slightly more realistic) method anyway.


Localhost, how can credit cards possibly be considered a good idea? Making it easy to borrow money you don't have is just stupid. OK, so you want to buy something but can't afford it until next pay packet. So wait! You've spent all your money and two weeks until your wages. So live off a tenner for two weeks and you can be damn sure you'll stick to your budget next month! People who use credit cards are sucking capitalism's crusty cock.
So i must seem like i'm a responisble little wanker talking about budgets. Well, i'm irresponsible in every other way. I just don't like the idea of being taken for a ride by banks.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:07, Reply)

Cars seem like a good idea at the time
Going into a Jaguar showroom for a test drive, only for a look and a laugh i'd never buy one you understand. Signing some forms in a dizzy haze realising only later i've just signed up for 30k over five years for a tin box on wheels. Set me back a bit that one did. still, it was fast as fuck.
(Mr Teatime, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 12:06, Reply)

nothing too special
student loan totalled at £8000, me spending 3 years paying it off at an extremely high rape, er, rate, and eating shitty food living in a shitty flat for 3 years. Think I paid back double what I borrowed, so no idea how that works out.
( McBadger COW, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 11:58, Reply)

top tips
I've lived in near poverty for more than a decade and have evolved these tips to avoid debt:

1) Never carry cash. Then you can't spend it.
2) Make all your own food - it's cheaper and more healthy.
3) Don't turn the heating on when you can wear a jumper.
4) Use cold water and lots of Fairy for washing up (hot water is only for showers).
5) Have no TV - read second-hand books instead.
6) Never go out socialising - stay at home.
7) Never go on holiday.
8) Don't have a credit card.
9) Never borrow money for anything (a mortgage is the only time to go into debt, and only then when you earn enough)
10) Don't buy what you want - buy what you need.

By following these rules, I have made myself utterly miserable - but I am not in debt (apart from the student loans, which have been deferred for 11 successive years on account of my poverty).
(frankspencer, Fri 24 Nov 2006, 11:57, Reply)