it was funny at the time
many years ago, i was sitting in my mate's off-licence, sharing some chips and looking at her holiday snaps.
"who's that?" i asked, pointing to the ugliest bloke i'd ever seen.
"just some tit who got into the photo" says she.
i looked at his vile chops again, an evil plan beginning to form.
"write down what i'm going to say," i tell her, "i've got an idea to trick debbie!" debbie is my best friend, so of course we drive each other nuts.
i dictated a love letter from this bloke to debbie, saying he'd been watching her from afar and was madly in love with her. adding details of where to meet him, we posted the letter and thought no more about it.
3 days later, debbie comes rushing into the shop, waving the letter in the air. "i'm being stalked!" she shrieks. "who by?" we ask, trying to keep a straight face. she then proceeds to tell us all about this weird bloke who's been sending her letters(there had only been one) and telling her he loved her. she showed us the pic and said "isn't he ugly?" we both looked at the fugly s.o.b and said "not really, he's quite cute!" she looks at him again and says "you know, now you come to mention it, he does look quite sexy."
within five minutes, she was talking about meeting up with him and maybe starting a relationship with him. well, that was it, we couldn't keep it in anymore and burst out laughing. we explained that i'd dictated the letter and jane had written it. if looks could kill, i'd be buried by now.
debbie stormed out of the shop and we never saw her for 5 months.
to be fair, she acted like nothing had happened and said it was all water under the bridge. it was only later that i found out she'd got her revenge. she'd founbd an old, grungy-looking pair of knickers that i'd left in hers, written my name on them in black marker pen and pinned them to the dartboard in our local.
god knows who's got them now...

EDT: woo! first page!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 15:19, 1 reply)

Home alone
Back in the 70s my parents wouldn't think twice about leaving us alone of an evening while they nipped down the rub-a-dub-dub for a swifty.

One such night I too was out round at my mates so my 13 year old sister was left in the house herself.

When I returned and realised she was in alone my adolescent sense of humour told me it would be a hilarious prank to shimmy up the drainpipe, gain access via the bathroom window and pad about upstairs while she quaked in her little Womble slippers downstairs.

Needless to say when eventually I slowly descended the stairs doing my best to sound like I was trying to be quiet while in actual fact intentionally trying to be heard, she was virtually apoplectic with terror, reduced to a gibbering wreck awaiting her imminent rape and gory murder.

Genuinely, she has never forgiven me for that and to be honest, looking back on it, I don't really blame her.
( Ramsay Tupper, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 15:10, Reply)

QOTW
We once tied my friend to a tree using electrical tape wearing only his underwear then went off and left him there for the night. He was rescued in the early morning by the ice cream man...
(Pimp my Clown is going back to the future on, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 15:06, 3 replies)

Score one for the nerds
Our school was way ahead of the curve when it came to IT provision. This was back in the 80s, but we had a dedicated computer block with four rooms full of kit. One room contained a couple of dozen networked RM Nimbus PCs -- state-of-the-art at that time, and us nerds were in hog heaven. We'd spend our break, lunch and even free study periods there (often sneaking into other peoples' lessons and using the free machines at the back). No, none of us had girlfriends.

Anyway, the whole system used a single, central hard drive (or 'Winchester Disk' as we called it, rather quaintly). This meant that machines could share files, and one bright spark realised that you could use this feature for a primitive form of Instant Messaging: a 'client' machine saved a message to a file, while the other client was looking for the file every second or so. Once a message was seen it was deleted, and another message could be sent back. And so on. Great for chatting across the classroom when you were supposed to be working.

At the same time, a friend of mine had been working on a little program that made a very basic stab at 'natural language' (a bit like Eliza). Although it was occasionally amusing, it was never more than a curiosity. However my devious little brain put two and two together...

There was this fella that no-one particularly liked: he hung around with us because we were the bottom of the social ladder, but he was an obnoxious twat and we just used him as the butt of our jokes. So one day my friend invited him into the lab to show him his secret project...a truly artificially-intelligent computer program! In under 50K of BASIC!

I sat on the back row, apparently working on some unrelated project. Dickhead was in the row in front, chatting (typing) away to this program and gradually becoming more and more astounded at its ability to understand and respond instantly to even the most complex questions. Not only had it mastered the English language and learned all about the world, it had even mastered insults:

Him: "What colour is the sky?"
Computer: "The sky is blue."
Him: "No it's not, the sky is pink."
Computer: "No you stupid bastard, the sky is blue."

The funniest part was watching him the following lunchtime, as he excitedly told everyone he met about this amazing program. Eventually, of course, we had to let him in on the joke -- and the payoff of watching his face as the truth dawned was simply priceless.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:55, Reply)

my sweet older brother
once twatted me across the back of the head with a dead buzzard while I was washing up.

Maybe not the most evil, but certainly one of the more surreal.
( trumpet, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:54, Reply)

Once upon a time in Cambodia...
After a tour of South East Asia, our final leg was approaching. Three weeks of 24/7 Beer Lao and cramped buses were coming to an end. This was to be it. We had one more night in Cambodia and then it was off to Bangkok to catch a flight home. We did what all sensible boys do when on tour and decided that the most responsible way to spend our last night was to get absolutely twatted.

We found a nice (relatively) bar away from the main tourist area and proceeded to get the drinks in. The beer flowed. The spirits flowed. The fortified wines flowed. There may have even been a crème de menthe consumed at one point. That should tell you what kind of night it was.

Anyway. At about 4:30am my two esteemed drinking buddies decided that enough was enough and that it was time to hit the hay. I was in a deep political discussion about the state of the EU and it's future goals with a French lass (who looked alright from straight on but the nose was a length joke in itself). The boys decided that I was obviously "in there!" and that they would leave me to it... so off they slunk.

I carried on the discussion with the French girl until it became obvious even to me that I wasn't "in" and even if I was I'd be no use anyway. What I didn't realise is that the other two had disappeared without paying their share of the bill. Now, this wasn't the Kensington Royal club or anything like it, but it still added up to about £100. No problem. Out comes the credit card.

That wasn't the evil prank. The evil prank then came when I decided that a little revenge was in order.

Our bus left at 8something. So when I got back to the hostel I figured that the best way to hurt two suffering drunkards would be to sneak in in the dark, hide all the clocks and then scream blue murder. I ran around the room like the proverbial headless chicken shouting that it was 7:55 and that we had about 10 minutes to get our stuff together and get downstairs for the bus.

If you've never done this to your friends I can highly recommend it for personal amusement. They JUMPED out of bed, grabbed all the clothes, rice picker hats, flip-flops and other crap that they could lay their hands on, stuffed it all in their bags and legged it down the stairs. We ran out into the road just in time to see the 7 something bus pulling out on our journey. Glen, with a massive backpack, proceeds to chase the bus about 200yards down the road flapping his arms like a spastic-windmill competition entrant until the driver spots him and pulls over. The driver then tells Glen that he's a "fucking penis" and to "stop wasting his time!" as his ticket is not for this bus but the next one. At this point I just have to laugh. I may have laughed so hard a little pee came out. ahhh... the joy.

I guess it's not as evil as gluing anyone's eyes shut but if you'd asked Glen or Paul at the time, they would have told you I was the devil incarnate.

Length: all length with no real substance. Sorry.
(Bifta, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:51, Reply)

the great vinegar icepop prank
whilst at uni, a number of friends and I got hold of a huge quantity of Mr Freeze jumbo ice pops.

For those not in the know, these are like a long thin ice lolly, but with no stick, just in a transparent bag.

We used to munch on those bad boys day and night (we were stoners) and eventually my teeth became so sensitive that even hot tea would make them ache like they were freezing. I digress....

One warm Cardiff day we had taken the sofas outside to the garden to enjoy the sunshine in comfort and an idea hit me.

"This cola-flavoured frozen water treat" I thought to myself, "could quite easily be replaced with vinegar, packaged upright in the chest freezer and given to an unsuspecting Marcus"

(Marcus is Swedish and looks like a grumpy baby; a perfect target for pranks)

So that is what I did.

with the aid of my able-bodied assistant Quiff Tim I emptied the contents of one of these ice pops while he mixed up a conical flask full of coke and vinegar in equal measures.

This done, we filled the packet with the mix, sellotaped it to a thermos flask (for stability) and set it in the freezer.

Some hours later, Marcus emerges from his room and joins us outside. At this point someone offers to fetch more ice pops for all. I seize my opportunity and grab the prank-pop.

Hoisting it from the freezer I discover that the resulting product is good enough to pass casual inspection, but there is some seperation of the two ingredients leading to a not quite perfect colour throughout.

Fortunately I explained this away with some fast talking, the details of which currently escape me.

Waiting with baited breath as Marcus raised the ice pop to his mouth I could barely contain myself as he took it into his mouth and gave a good hard suck.

Such a look of revulsion passed across his face that I have never since seen the like.

Success!

I leapt to my feet, full of glee, pointing and laughing, Quiff Tim doing the same!

Marcus is grabbing for cans of beer to rinse the foul taste from his mouth.

It was only later that we were informed that he'd had a heavy time on the pills the previous night and was suffering from a comedown of almost unprecedented proportion.

That made it even better!

Remembering the bewildered, disgusted look on his face still brings a smile to mine
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:50, Reply)

Self-pranking
My own body played a cruel prank on me at lunchtime today. I was in the office alone and I felt a little tired so I laid my weary head on my arm whilst sitting at my desk to 'rest my eyes' for a couple of minutes.

I was awakened 20 minutes later by a 'bing' from my computer announcing that an e-mail had arrived. When I woke up, I felt pretty awful and was also bursting for a dump. Unfortunately I couldn't leave my desk to do anything about this because:

a) I had a woolly jumper imprint on my face where I'd been lying on my arm;
b) I had blurred vision in my right eye for the same reason;
c) my right leg was dead from having been in an awkward position;
d) I had a raging boner.

So I had to wait until all four had subsided before I could go and evacuate. Damn bodily systems!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:49, 7 replies)

Cubicles full of paper....
OK, so it's not 'evil' like many of the things that'll be claimed this week, but (a) this one actually happened, and (b) it took ages to clean away afterwards, so it's evil as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway. I used to work in a typical cubicle farm, and there were always practical jokes being played. Boxes full of crumpled paper with the bottoms cut out, keyboard and mouse cables being switched (PS2 connectors obviously - not USB. That wouldn't achieve anything). Monitors being plugged into the PC next to it. Then we got a shredder.

Someone in the office mentioned that they had a hamster, and would appreciate some shredded paper. After a couple of days of finding bags and bags of the stuff, he begged us to stop. However, then we hit on the best idea.

One friday afternoon, after he'd gone home early, we taped up the entrance to his cubicle with big sheets of paper. We then removed the top part of the shredder, and suspended it over the side.

We obtained a five ream box of fanfold A4 (2500 sheets).

We put one end of the paper into the shredder, and made sure it caught. We stopped and restarted it a few times, until we had it straight. Then we went home.

On monday morning, the entire cubicle was full (and I mean full) of shredded paper.

It took him about four hours to get it out of everything.

I should say that we had tried to use a roll that we had with about two miles of 200mm wide paper on it. Unfortunately it weighed too much and the motor wouldn't pull it through.

Length? About 60 strips, each about 700m long. That's about 26 miles.

(edited to add that actually, it's about as evil as most of these. I'd expected 'so-and-so laughed at me, so I chopped his head off!! Hahahahaha!!!!eleventyone!!)
(ReAndyMator has been very bored since July, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:47, 4 replies)

loft
My girlfriend is petrified of the loft (attic to merkins) and wont go in unless I'm there, on the ladder, head in the loft to make sure she's ok and body outside to keep ladder in place. Things (in no particular order) that could go wrong in her opinion:

Standing between girders = fall through ceiling.
Ladders fall away = no way down
Light goes out in loft and landing = no visbility
Insulation brushes against leg = death (glass fibres get in to bloodstream and slash brain open from the inside)
A sudden gust of wind rips entire loft off house with her inside resulting in a kind of new airborne life spent in loft from hell that somehow permanently 'surfs' the planet in the jet stream.
Spiders obviously.

Its all quite rational to her and under no circumstances am I am to in anyway make jokes about any part of the loft, or the mission to retrieve/return items from or to the loft.
The only weird thing is that she organised the whole loft so I'm not allowed to move stuff or get stuff out.

The other week, perched on the ladder whilst she rummaged around for a spare suitcase, I hatched and executed my plan. When she wasnt looking i ducked down the ladder, knocked the ladder out of the hatch so it crashed down to the landing, i hit the ground with a loud yell that appeared to just cut off half way and lay very still face down.

I listened, trying not to laugh.

"Geoff? Geoff? GEOFF!!!!" wild hysterical screaming as she ran accross the loft, losing her footing and one foot through the plasterboard, tripping and grabbing the extension cable to the lamp we hang up in the beams which is promptly torn out and the light goes off. It all took about 5 seconds. I turn over with a big smile and look up at her face hanging over the hatch literally unable to stop screaming at 'seeing me dead'.

It's really weird when you feel worse than you've ever done yet at the same time in agony from laughing so hard watching the love of your life screaming like her whole world just ended.

Seriously, try it. She'll get over it.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:44, 8 replies)

Tartan Paint anyone?

( my_cat_has_no_shoes meh meh meh MEH MEH, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:41, 1 reply)

Female fun!
I have a habit of trying to convince the guy I'm seeing at the time that he's going bald just to see if I can. I went out with a youngish guy who had a head of thick wavey red hair,(yup! wavey red hair), and succeeded in making him worried about loosing it. Yay! girl power.
( girlinthehole, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:41, 3 replies)

Incy Wincy
In the dim and distant past of my thoroughly wasted youth, myself and a few friends used to drink to excess and end up crashing out at my Dad’s place. Said Dad is a bit of a practical joker and often bides his time while getting to know people and using this to devastating effect. On one such Saturday night he had advance warning and prepared his jolly jape with a great deal of care and artistic creativity. He knew for a fact that one of the gang was always first into the loo on arrival. We got there and sure enough Lynne was off like a greyhound. However we were suddenly greeted by hysterical screams which actually woke neighbours and had them banging on the front door. His jape? He made a fake tarantula (about a foot across) from pipe cleaners, black wool and insulating tape and hung it inside the toilet at about head height. Yup Lynne was arachnophobic and it took half a bottle of vodka to “calm” her down enough to stop the resulting flashbacks. Oh how we laughed.

Length? About 12 inches but it made her scream.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:37, Reply)

School disco pisswagon
Strictly speaking a sixth form school disco, in a village hall. One chap named Andrew was reviled, and a prank was played, one he probably never knew about. Andrew drove to the party, and was going to drive home again in his Renault 5. While he was inside however, we pissed on every single panel of his car. I did the roof myself.

Not so much the execution as the *knowledge* that you've done it.
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:34, Reply)

Many a fun time to be had with someone who has no sense of humour
I used to go out with a lass who liked to think she had a great sense of humour when infact she didnt have a sense of humour at all and if she ever pissed me off for whatever reason I'd retaliate by doing things that would amuse the hell out of me and make her look stupid.

The following have taken place

1 - when she moved into a new house she gave me a set of keys so one night when she was at her parents I let myself in and removed the screws to the hinges to each door inside the house and replaced the doors so when she went in chaos ensued.

2 - She liked to think she had classy tastes and would never touch anything inferior to Marks and Spencers and could tell the difference so whenever she wasn't looking I'd swap things over out of the packet and she was non the wiser.

3 - I had a habit of crushing bags of crisps of hers when she's annoyed me to which she over reacted by screaming blue murder at me to the point where her face would go red and I swear to god steam would shoot out her ears in a cartoon stylee

I know they're childish but they kept me amused then there was the time when working at a cafe I nicked a full roll of catering sized cling film and proceeded to create a cocoon of the stuff using the whole roll over my bosses car just cuz he was being a prick to someone who didn't deserve it.

Basically if you think you're superior and better than everyone else and I'm around, best make sure I'm not in a bad mood otherwise I'm gonna make you look stupid to show you're no better than everyone else
(Official Sarc, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:32, Reply)

I made someone shit themself in fear!
Back in School, I wasn't the most evil of people, but I did have a mean streak for a while.

One day doing the general piss about I decided "I wonder what would happen if I threw this ball at that kids head."

So I threw it, and BANG right on the back of the head, he didn't know who it was, and thought it was an accident.

So I threw another one, Again hit him on the back of the head, and he screamed "WHO'S THROWING BALLS AT ME" after that everyone started doing it and afterwads I heard "Christ, what's that smell" followed by a brown substance oozing from over his shoe.

And that is how I made some kid shit himself.

It was about 6 inches long, but semi liquid and it smelt awful.

EDIT: First Page and whatnot
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:32, Reply)

baldy man prank
My mate Woody is not quite hirsute, in fact he is completely bald. One evening after a particularly grandiose session on the beer with a load of friends, we rendezvous'd back at my house. Woody was slightly worse for wear and promptly fell asleep/unconscious on the sofa where it was felt necessary for us, his best mates, to replenish his once luxurious locks using the gift of a black marker pen. We coloured in his pate in a sort of Adolf hitler style short parted look. We also gave him a Salvador Dali moustache and took several photos of him, before we cleaned him up as if nothing had happened.
(urgle-splurgle molesting small goats since, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:31, 2 replies)

probably not my greatest NSFW
www.watchbritneyspears.com

why try when people are so kind as to do it for you?

oh, sorry nsfw (forgot that)
^ apologies to anyone who clicked the link before i added that, especially greencloud and RadG, i did thoroughly deserve that, sorry
NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW (it appears the previous warning was not enough)
(pogo_it, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:31, 10 replies)

At school
We used to have a couple of teachers who had an eye for the prank. A standard one would be for one of them - usually Mr H - to choose a scrut (that's what we called first years at my school) fairly early in the first term and to ask him to go to the staff room and ask Mr J for a long weight. And off he'd trot...
"Sir, Mr H has sent me here for a long weight"
"Oh, right. Hang on here then..."

And the minutes would pass. The scrut would patienly stand there. Occasionally another member of staff would pass by.
"What are you doing?"
"Mr J is getting me a long weight"
"Oh." They'd hide their smirk.

One cup of tea later, Mr J would reappear.
"Sorry - did Mr H mean a metric or imperial long weight?"
"Um... I don't know"
"Better go and ask him then."

So the scrut would trot back to the classroom.
"Sir, Mr J wants to know whether you meant a metric or imperial long weight."
"Didn't I say? I meant metric, of course. This is the 1980s, after all..."
"Right."

So, back to the staffroom; scrut knocks for attention, and gets Mr J back.
"Ah, hello, young man. Is it a metric or imperial long weight you're after?"
"Um, metric, Sir."
"Thought it might have been. This is the 1980s after all. A metric long weight is a bit longer, that's all. Stay here while I sort it out for you."

And with that, Mr J would disappear until the end-of-lesson bell went.

The scrut would usually understand about three weeks later.

Length? Metric ones are longer, as I said.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:29, 5 replies)

Scatological septogenarian.
In the period shortly before my grandma went into the care home, she had real trouble living in her house alone. Added to the fact that a stroke had brought on rapid senile dementure she was confused to say the least. Besides having home help and a family member there every day, she would often call during the night when she needed help with anything.

So came the night I answered her phone call and volunteered at 2am to go help her put her slippers on. "Simple enough" thought I. "Get her settled and tucked up in bed then come home for a spliff before geting my own coffin-lid down" thought I.

Imagine my surprise when I entered grandmas house to see shit smeared all over her bed, two doors, dropped on the floor etc. "Have to get back-up, can't cope with this" thought I. I reached for the phone, only to find that it too was smeared in human excrement. I didn't have a mobile and there was not other handset in the house. I had to use it, in a contorted 2-fingers-and-dial-with-pinky way, to summon my mother, trying to tell her (without inhaling whatsoever) that it wasn't just Gran's slippers that were loose.

Before she became ill, my grandma had the type of evil, twisted sense of humour that would put most b3tards to shame, so.......

Was she just a confused senile old lady who needed help after an embarassing accident?

OR

Was she the most evil pooh-pooh prankster ever, claiming her dirty revenge on all those family members whos nappies she'd changed in previous decades.

You decide......
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:28, 1 reply)

Pranks on my kids, Part 1.
I had an old garden sprinkler that I found at my house, left behind by the previous owner. It had spent god knows how long under the porch and was clogged with dirt.

Most people would have thrown it out and gotten a new one. But most people aren't stubborn engineering geeks. So I proceeded to clean the mud out of it and poked a wire through the holes to clear them.

I got it fairly clean and attached it to the hose to test it, and turned it on. I noted which holes were apparently still clogged, and picked up the hose and kinked it in my hand so I could do a quick clearing of the holes in question and test it again.

As I did so my sons and a friend of theirs appeared and my oldest son asked, "What are you doing, Dad?"

"Fixing the sprinkler," I replied. "Go take a closer look and see if I got it right."

Three small boys trooped over and bent close to look at the sprinkler.

You can imagine the rest.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:28, 4 replies)

Algebra.
Probably mentioned this before but I coached my mathematically illiterate brother for his maths GCSE. After getting no where, I let him in on the 'greatest secret in mathematics'. I told him that x = 1, y = 2 and z = 3 and that was all he would ever need. Substitute those values whenever they appeared.

9%. 15 years later? Works on a building site.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:24, 5 replies)

convent school nuns
the same nuns that glued the sex pages together in the library at school once seriously pissed off some of the sixth form.

who put 5 potatoes in the exhaust pipe of the convent car.

10 hail marys per girl per potato for that one.....

glad i was only there for a year, if you're going to spend all that time on your knees, you might as well be doing something useful with it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:20, 2 replies)

pearost
but valid, first entry on this page.
www.b3ta.com/questions/reallyscared/
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:19, 1 reply)

this is really fucked up
2 friends F and B started to snort pills after a long night of ingesting them. B went to the toilet and F took a line and managed to cut the inside of his nose with the note he had used to snort
and lay on the ground so that when B came back from the toilet he walked into a room where his friend has seemingly overdosed.
Apparently B's face was priceless.
Poor guy.

apologies for lack of story telling skills i'm trying to write this with my course instructor lurking around.
(electrogirl no one thinks about the implications of a clown su, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:18, Reply)

I can't really do pranks
Because I just feel bad.

My uncle Keith however was BRILLIANT at it.
My dad used to have a Yaht and him an uncle Keith would sometimes take it out for a sail on a weekend.
One day while my dad was up on deck doing something or other, Keith decided it would be funny to empty my dad's can of Lager into the see and fill it up with sea water. My Dad didn't see him, you can probably guess the rest.

Also, when my dog was little she was housetrained pretty quickly.
So it was quite a suprise when my mum came into the kitchen to see a little puddle on the floor. Keith told her the dog had pee'd, the dog got a right bollocking and Keith just stood in the corner laughing, because he knew he'd just tipped a little water on the floor and the dog was unable to defend herself.
( Lollylegs lite, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:15, 2 replies)

G and C and a toothbrush
I'm not much of a prankster, but my erstwhile flatmate G was (and will feature quite a bit in my answers to this QotW). And he hated C, another flatmate.

Soooooo....

Toothbrush, arse, evidence caught on camera. Need I say more?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:14, Reply)

Prank
Making you think this was a proper entry!
(Jester_, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:07, Reply)

I once loosened the bolts on a camp counsellor's bed.
When he brought the camp nurse (a whopping specimen we had nicknamed Thunderthighs) back for a discreet shag, the bed collapsed and the camp echoed with her screams.

No regrets, though...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:07, 4 replies)

my friend
for his 23rd birthday wanted to go away out to Loch Lomond for the weekend, a bit of a change you see. However, because neds often went there to er, take in the scenery themselves, he decided that him and the rest of my friends would have to walk for about an hour or two to find a nice, secluded spot.

He packed a huge, heavy bag, and was going to carry that along with another bag which contained his brand shiny new tent. Unfortunately I wasn't able to go due to work, but I didn't want him to miss me, so I packed an epson printer (that came spare with the flat) in with his tent.

Oh how I silently guffawed as they left the flat, thinking about how he was going to be pissed off after carrying the extra weight for a good couple of hours.




I laughed a lot more when he got back and produced it again though, he had thought it was my actual printer and didn't want to leave it behind!

Shouldn't really trick friends that would do that for you!
(Lannes, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 14:05, 3 replies)