Chewy suprise
I have just remembered this, it is what I think is called a flash memory, I can actually see the scene in my head it’s bizarre and I am slightly appalled, I guess it counts for both found memories and things found, curiosity bites!

~~ wiggly lines that dance into the past ~~

I was in my parents bedroom...playing I guess, doing whatever small children do, I think I was about three or four at the time. I happened to be on my Mother’s side of the bed (by the window) when I found the lovely shiny silver packets of –what I thought/hoped – were sweets. So I opened a packet and tried to eat it, it was chewy and not very tasty. I think that was when I figured they must be balloons as I tried to blow one up....no result. There were others opened beside the bed, I am going to hope that I didn’t try to chew on those ones. I honestly don’t recall (perhaps I have blocked out the really damaging memory!).

I suspect as a child I found many things and put them into my mouth, realising many years later that you found and tried to eat your parent’s condoms is horrifying.
/shudders
(LittleRock is planning her next meal, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 23:10, 2 replies)

The best thing I've ever found?
That latinos are great lovers
(Lady of leisure, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 22:44, Reply)

My brother found a pizza once.
It was still warm, in its box, in the middle of the road on the way home from the pub.

His first comment once it was all gone?

"Urgh, mushrooms!"

He doesn't like mushrooms =)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 22:38, Reply)

I once found some 'home movies' of my Dad's
that were just home movies!

Signed,
Bob Crane Jr.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 22:22, Reply)

My life...
I have just found is a complete load of shite,...
( has two cups and one chick, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 22:17, Reply)

A photo of a man up a chair
Walking out of the pub one afternoon I found a photo of a man standing on a chair in the middle of a field holding a camera. There were cows and hedges in the background.
(cannonfodder fodder for cannons on, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 21:44, Reply)

X-mas porn
Christmas day circa 1975. Unseasonally dry and mild weather and I'm out on the head of the road trying out my new bike. I stopped into a layby for a quick slug of water and just happened to quickly glance into the roadside bin and here's two brown paper packages. Oh ho ! What have we here ? Only two packages of brand new crisp and glossy jazz mags. Maybe around 30 per package. My lucky day or what ? Mayfairs, Penthouses, Men Onlys, H & E (eh ?) etc.

Needless to say I couldn't carry them on the bike so I planked them elsewhere and retrieved them later.

Be assured I made good use of them, as any 14 year old would, before selling them on at school and round the neighbourhood. I made a fortune ... I seem to recall asking about 50p each. That's about £30 ..... genuinely a princly sum for a young lad back in the mid seventies.

Merry Chrismas right enough !
( Ramsay Tupper, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 21:22, Reply)

Music and memories.
A bit of a pearoast from offtopic, but as it seemed relevant, thought I'd pop it into the QOTW.

Once last year, when searching for goodies to BitTorrent, I discovered a set of Torrents of every single tune that had made it into the top 40 from 1965 to 2003. I found this when searching for a particular mp3 I had been trying to search for for 9 years (since I discovered what mp3s were and how easy it was to download them). At first, I was glad to have found the mp3, but a bit more digging around revealed that they had a set of Torrents of all songs that made it into the top 40 for a given year. My curiosity got the better of me. At first, I downloaded only the ones from around the time-period of my childhood but soon downloaded the lot.

Out of curiosity, I decided to browse through seemingly random songs from my early childhood. Some songs were familiar, but some I had completely forgotten about until I heard them again. One thing about music is that it tends to bind with memories from when you hear it. If it's a tune you've not heard in ages, it brings back things you are likely to have forgotten. With me, that was often the case.

My early childhood was a bit of a mixed bag to say the least. Many things had happened that at one stage I had either hoped I'd want to forget, or things that just didn't seem to make sense. Listening to these forgotten songs unleashed lost and disconnected memories that shed light on the things that had gone on before. For the first time, I was able to objectively look at my early childhood and fit everything together like a giant jigsaw - it explained why I was the way I was and why some things happened. I also remember long periods of being bored or under stimulated.

I now have very lucid memories of my early childhood, and can see with an adult's perspective the way a kid sees the world with a kid's perspective. Although nothing can truly prepare me for being a father, being aware of the way I saw the world as a kid now makes me look forward to rearing kids of my own.

As a bonus, I finally discovered the name of the song I danced to the first time I plucked the courage to ask a girl to dance at a school disco. I didn’t know what it was so couldn’t hear it again. I had heard it on the radio a few times, but never caught the name. Finally after 15 years of searching, I found it.

Length? It's honestly not worth placing 13 DVDs worth of mp3s in WinAmp just so I can make a crappy length-joke.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 21:22, 3 replies)

Post Office
I once found a new crisp £20 lying on a pad in a post office when I was ten. Me and my younger brother slowly folded it and took it outside where we told our mum in the car. She did the honest thing by taking it back as it was probably some poor old sap's pension but said she would give us the money from her own pocket. Only got a few quid for my trouble, hardly worth it :-( but I probably only spent it on sweets.
(Something funny, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 21:05, Reply)

I once found a mushroom-like fungus on the end of my cock after I had been rooting around in some old cum-dumpster.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 21:04, 3 replies)

Skip diving/bin pillaging/dumpster shopping
Truly, the sport of kings. Kings who are skint and have way too much time on their hands.

Went with a mate a few months back, hoping to find cool old bits of wood to turn into astounding, invaluable works of art. I didn't find shit all until we got back to our own doorstep, where I found a weird shutter thingy that was ripped from the kebab shop during a re-fit. Its pretty sweet, I have since got halfway through doing a triptych on it, but John got the best thing - a hat stand. Being one of the few people who own enough hats to warrant having a stand for them, he was overjoyed with this slightly damaged hat stand, until the college security guard came over and yelled at us for 'stealing' their rubbish (like they wanted it)...however he did let us keep our awesome find, it now has pride of place under many a hat.
(Ryuken-Kai, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:52, Reply)

Depressed...
I've found (as with others on here) that I am suddenly and unexpectedly single. She won't talk through it with me so it's just over (I know the reasons she just won't talk!). The only thing that's managed to trigger the slightest smile off me the last few days is reading B3ta posts. Thank you :-) making me feel warmer inside.
Now to read more on a cold and lonely friday night...

*edit: and now it's raining :-( Oh well, doom and gloom seem to suit me...
(Something funny, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:28, 9 replies)

A house
Growing up in Stafford was pretty dull. A lot of aimless poking about was done by yours truly, sometimes in company with my brother and cousin.
One afternoon we found ourselves in Rowley Park and that's when we noticed the fenced off bit of wilderness beside one of the entrances.
"What's in there?" we asked one another and scrambled over the wire.
Hidden by trees and bushes we found a house. Alright, a bungalow. The door was guarded by about a million nettles and the woodshed fell in when we prodded it. Nobody home, obviously.
Entry was, ahem, gained and we began exploring.
Truth be told there wasn't much there - a mouldering couch and scraps of rug but we were convinced we'd found somewhere everyone else had forgotten about years, nay decades, ago.
On and off over the next seven years or so we would wander back and each time we'd find more vandalism and more empty cans.
Then one night some numbnuts burnt it to the ground. *
If any of you lot are from Stafford then I'd love to know if the ruins are still there.


* Not us I hasten to add.
(Big D, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 20:25, 2 replies)

Think the new job must be paying orft
For the first time ever in my entire life, I discovered an extra £5 note in my wallet. I have been such a skinflint (student, followed by working for a utility company wot pays BADLY), that up until recently, I've known down to the last penny the contents of my wallet. Unfortunately I was getting the "it's not you it's me" phone call at the time, so I couldn't exclaim happily about such a find. So I'm sharing it with you lovely people.
( Whodathunkit, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 19:59, 1 reply)

An ex employer's YTS underling found something.....
A place where I used to work had a cunt of a manager who used to dabble in anything that made money, porn and piracy included. A YTS kid started work there and heard of this, so he asked his new boss to borrow some. Cunty boss, eager to impress, brings in a tape and whispers "Have a look at this later".
The YTS'er comes back into work the next day with a look of shock on his face and carrying the tape. He nags the other staff to look at the vid as he'd found something a bit disturbing on it. They wait until the shop's quiet and borrow the security video player out in the back office and press play.....to see their boss sitting on a chair having a wank.
I have no idea of the outcome of this, the YTS boy finished his fortnight and never came back and I don't know if the boss heard of them witnessing this too. One thing that did happen though was on the day the lads were shown the tape, they called in EVERY REGULAR CUSTOMER that come into the store that day into the back office to show them. Excellent work lads :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 19:45, Reply)

More pron...
I started work at my current employer a little over three years ago.

Soon after the air con went in the server room and we had to install a new one.

This involved taking the old one out - which was only good for a small living room rather than a server room with a couple of racks of servers in, which meant that we had to take the ceiling out.

Upon doing so, I found a whole host of DVDs - yep - all pron.

Apparently the chap I replaced was running a little 'business' on the side downloading pron films, burning them to disc and selling them.

Turns out the reason he had to leave was 'cos someone had found some pron on his machine - obviously oblivious to the stash in the ceiling, and he was escorted from the premesis there and then, unable to return for his stash!
(dchurch bah, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 19:34, Reply)

oh, and ...
... a few months ago I came home to find a crate of stella on my front step, along with 30 odd syringes (in sterile packs - no needles) a Argos DVD player, and a copy of Windows 98.

Beer was nice.
(inflateable, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 19:33, Reply)

new years eve.
Round our way, new years eve is an excuse for fancy dress.

Me and my sis used to go out on the piss, and every year we'd come home with random goodies and no recollection of where they came from. These included:
A pair of genuine wooden dutch clogs.
A crucifix.
A map of siberia
A barometer
A cheap classical guitar
A swiss flag

And the best one, which I've still got:
A police-issue Dragon portable searchlight.

We have no idea where they came from.
(inflateable, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 19:28, 2 replies)

roasted peas anyone?
i found this packet of crayons in a wetherspoons once (i think it was handed out with a kids meal and some colouring in) i wish i had kept it


( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 17:47, 2 replies)

P*ssed Chav Treasure
Imagine my surprise on arriving at Charing Cross one Saturday morning to discover 2 crates of stella, several boxes of wine and a half bottle of Vodka sitting on a table in the first class section of the train. I can only assume that a select group of passengers wanted to start the weekend early, but couldn't be bothered/were too p*ssed to take the £40 worth of undrunk booze with them when they reached London.

I was very tempted to sling a couple of crates under my arm - but I had to walk back up the length of the train, and if there's one thing the public don't like to see, it's their Train Driver struggling up the platform, laden with booze. And it was 9:20am - tad too early, even for me!
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 17:18, Reply)

Extremeely rare playing card.
A while ago I was walking to the cinema with a friend of mine and we happened upon a very rare playing card...

The One of Clubs

No shit, A proper playing card which even though was obviously not real, it was a very convincing counterfeit very smoothly photoshopped i guess.
(chrisdood Why yes, I am the shizzle, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 17:16, 6 replies)

The ex runs a rather nice pub in central London
and the amount of stuff that gets left behind and never claimed is astonishing. So far I've had a Blackberry, a PSP, an iPod and an amusing hat - enough to keep me amused for ages.

Having said that, iPods and Blackberries are shit, and I wouldn't hand over money for them anyway, but the PSP is fucking mint.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 17:08, 4 replies)

A digital find
While prowling through this computer (the work computer I'm currently using) I found a HUGE stash of mp3s. No idea why.

While I've enjoyed finding Led Zeppelin's entire works on here and have had fun with the Art of Noise and Public Image Ltd. and Nickel Creek, others have struck me as odd. I've found Metallica on here- not unsurprising, though I dislike them- but I've also found the Backstreet Boys on here, and some pop tart named Mylene Farmer.

My tastes in music range far and wide, but listening to this collection on shuffle has been giving me cultural whiplash. Going from Tom Waits to Peter Paul and Mary is a bit harsh.

(Gah! Now it's popped up 80s Genesis with Phil Collins! BLARGGHHH!)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 17:02, 4 replies)

unusual, but...
I once found a load of awesome music on my hard drive. it was a new hard drive, and I hadn't put any music on yet. weird, huh?
(venort apparently exists, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 17:00, 8 replies)

I don't find things
I lose them constantly so you lucky bastards have a story to tell.
(Pat_Gash, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 16:49, 1 reply)

Lax postman
Many years back when I lived in sunny Leytonstone (oh those heady days), we had a particularly shit postman who had a habit of dumping half the post down what was affectionately known as 'mugger's alley'. My personal favourites, which I took home were twenty postcards depicting HMS Liverpool (done as technical illustrations mind you, not photos) and a huge stack of Xmas cards reading 'Season's Greetings from the Embassy of Tanzania'

Imagine the delight of the one person (sorry Steve) who I sent them to every Xmas for about eight years (unsigned) - bastard moved to Poland, I'm sure he only did it to get away from the Tanzanians.
(clockworkkillbot, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 16:33, Reply)

Booze.
To find bottles of drink in my office isn't unusual. Actually, that doesn't really tell the whole truth: to find bottles of drink in my office is expected. I currently have a bottle of wine on my desk, another 6 beneath it and a couple of whiskey bottles next to my phone.

There are cupboards full of the stuff. Everywhere you look you see bottles of drink. There are off-licenses with less booze on their shelves than is in my office. So, to find bottles of drink knocking about isn't even remotely unusual; it is very, very usual indeed.

However, a couple of years ago, as we engaged in one of our very occasional office tidy-up days, I found myself rummaging about on top of a cupboard and chanced upon a very dusty and distinctly non-descript cardboard box.

I glanced inside and discovered a bottle of cognac secured within a rather fancy gift box. I recognised the bottle immediately and, as I remembered just how much it sold for, a smile began edging across my face.

That is, until a voice behind me asked what I'd found. I offered unconvincingly that it was nothing, but it was a naff effort and their persistence proved worthwhile when I proffered a glimpse at my bounty.

"Fucking hell!" they exclaimed. "Where did you find that?"

"Um..." I searched my brain for any hypnotist skills I may have inadvertently picked up but, alas, I found myself wanting.

"Up there." I gestured.

"That's worth about a grand a bottle." they correctly opined and I was in no position to disagree.

They were full of questions, but I didn't have any answers so I tuned out while deciding amongst myself that £1,000 of cognac wasn't worth clubbing someone to death over, particularly as it would have ruined the very ornate bottle it was contained within.
( Moey, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 16:23, 3 replies)

Video!
Whilst travelling, I stayed at a nice hostel in Tokyo, used by both travellers and locals alike. There was a telly and a selection of videos. One of which was 'Super Rape Fucking'.
Quite an eye opener.
(thebdaman hmmm....., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 16:20, 1 reply)

Meaty Goodness
Twas a dark October night, and I'd just driven the last train to Canterbury - I walked through the train to make sure everyone was off and nothing was left behind - only to find this:



Just a can of spam - sitting proped up on a seat - all on it's own. I mean - WTF?!?

^{(No - I didn't eat it before you ask)}
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 15:53, 6 replies)

I recently purchesed..
A second hand car (well 4x4),
It was a bit tatty inside but for the money it was an absolute bargain,

As most of us do when we get a new car, we wash & clean it (for at least a week anyway)

Delving behind all the seats, I found..

1. size 5 nike air trainer
2. Macdonalds Mc'crayons x 9
3. Best part of a portion of Mcfries
4. a Murry Mint (still in it's wrapper!)
5. £45 in £5 notes?!
6. The usual fluff etc

Result.
The Wife likes Murry Mints.
(Murran_Butchstansanger Good bye Tony, R.I.P, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 15:53, 2 replies)