greatest witticism ever...
once while playing (or trying to) a few games of snooker down at my local Riley's before i moved out into the grassland, i drinkenly went to take the father of all pisses. while i waited for the flow to slowly dissipate i cast my glance around the room. presently it rested upon the condom Vending machine to my left. on the side of the box was inscribed the legend "manufactured and approved to British Standard BS3704 and EN 600 1996." directly under this sticker was the emblazonment of the thoughts of some great wag. his phrase, written pointedly in red marker was thus: "so was the Titanic"
another favourite that comes to mind if the old Saigon classic: "fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity." betcha taht soldier was court marshalled.
(monporn, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:48, Reply)

On our school bus
a good few years ago, it was discovered that by selective destruction of parts of the lettering, the legend EMERGENCY DOOR could be made to read VIRGIN LOO.

Sort of.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:41, Reply)

On a town place name
Sorry for pearoast, but the village of Crook of Devon in Kinross-shire had a sign under which a rather clever wag had written (very neatly too!) "Twinned with the Thief of Baghdad".
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:38, Reply)

On Arrival at Melbourne Airport...
An individual had taken it upon himself to shit on the toilet seat, pick it up, and make a trail from the toilet to the wall and write "MELBORNE STINKS" only to continue the trail to the door handle.
(rhyddman, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:34, Reply)

"Brooke Shields Alphabet"
Anybody know what this is about ?

locations are - maps.google.com/maps/ms?q=&ie=UTF8&hl=en&z=12&ll=51.523271,-0.136986&spn=0.100612,0.233459&om=1&msid=108141424606183365830.0000011215de358db837e&msa=0


images - www.flickr.com/groups/brookeshieldsalphabet/pool/
( turb0t, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:31, Reply)

Bindun????
in ballarat recently, i saw some gems

"jesus is on holiday. he will not listen to your pathetic whiny little prayers or send any angels or be your saviour for the next week and a half. my advice to you my friend, go to satan. he'll be happy to see you"

"this is my graffiti spot. touch it and i'll fucking rape you"

"BAH YOU NEED A PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!"

"hey theres an orgy on tonight at XXX call carly for details."

"i came :)"

god i rofled at some of them
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 May 2007, 8:29, Reply)

Funny no, weird yes
On a wall in Auckland, c1988:
"Cats don't really have heads"
(mudskipper, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:12, Reply)

Richard Gere?
One of the few decent toilets at Southampton Uni. "Do you know that around the world three million people are doing exactly what you're doing right now" replied with "I doubt there are enough hamsters"
( nameleft has bought a new telescope, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:09, Reply)

probly bindun
buti ain't reading 12 pages to find out.

back of a bog door in a local hostelry:

centre of door, "look down"

bottom of door in tiny writing, "you are now shitting at an angle of 45 degrees"
(davidblunkettsdogblankets, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:00, Reply)

On a traffic sign in Hackney
'Make speed the only thing you kill' and someone had added 'for'
(Stainer Has been treating objects like women since, Fri 4 May 2007, 7:58, Reply)

On bog wall
In bright blue marker:

MOTHERF

After that in black:

ATHER?
(Spreddum O Grrrr. That's my vicious circle, that is., Fri 4 May 2007, 7:08, Reply)

On the grout on tiles in old work...
"TILES ARE SH*T" Nothing more Nothing less
(Starrboy, Fri 4 May 2007, 7:08, Reply)

On the side of the bank across from Mrs. F's work:
"Illizabeth has hurpey's ask her"

I guess spray cans don't come with spell check.
(WillF http://www.flickr.com/photos/silverfischdotnet/, Fri 4 May 2007, 6:34, Reply)

More Sydney class...
a very famous work from Newtown (I think) initially read:

GOD HATES HOMOS

in very large letters, with enough space in between for it to be modified to:

GOD HATES HOMOUS BUT HE LOVES TABOULI!

Another famous one (should have been heritage listed, it was by the original B.U.G.A-U.P) on the railway bridge at Wollstonecraft read:

Binfield for Bankers in 2m high block letters - a reference to 'Winfield' ciggies and those who smoked 'em.
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 4 May 2007, 6:15, Reply)

MC Hammer, I blame you.
I've seen this around in a few places, yet it still makes me giggle like a schoolgirl on crack.


(is0lati0n, Fri 4 May 2007, 6:14, Reply)

The king's diet
Underneath "ELVIS LIVES" some wit had added "on dried cowpats and liquid manure"

worked for me . . .
(kiki chunt now available in blank, Fri 4 May 2007, 6:07, Reply)

Sydney Trains
Sign reads "At night travel in the guards carriage, marked with a blue light."

Drunkards and school children scratch out letters to say "At night rave in the guards carriage, naked with a blue light"




/never said it was funny you cunts
( Beejay Proper old bastard, Fri 4 May 2007, 6:05, Reply)

Almost every Sydney railway station in the 80's
...had a sign at each end stating:

NO WAY

Trespassers will be prosecuted

Inevitably a black marker added 'R' made it:

NORWAY

Trespassers will be prosecuted

To an 11-year-old schoolkid this was hilarious.
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Fri 4 May 2007, 5:56, Reply)

My favorite that I've seen in many a Sydney lift
The (mandatory) sign reads "No Smoking Maximum Penalty $100"

Oft times the $100 is crossed out and replaced with DEATH

All smokers are cunts
(RichardInSydney would like to know why teh date & time is, Fri 4 May 2007, 5:54, Reply)

London Tube.
"Obstructing the doors is dangerous"

With tippex and a pen.

"YObs in the doors anger us"
(beatpig understands subliminalesbianmessagaying., Fri 4 May 2007, 5:33, Reply)

Useful to know...
In giant letters on a wall in town:

PIG POO IS CRUNCHY
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Fri 4 May 2007, 4:53, Reply)

In a pub in Hackney
It's gone now but there used to be an ashtray screwed to the wall in the mens toilets with a lock at the bottom. Someone had scrawled on it: "Only a German would put a lock on an ashtray."

When I first saw it I pissed myself which was frustrating as I was less than a meter from the urinal at the time.
(Stainer Has been treating objects like women since, Fri 4 May 2007, 4:24, Reply)

This little gem is seen all around trains in Sydney
tinyurl.com/37yql2

Cracks me up every time.
(pseudomonkey is not a real monkey., Fri 4 May 2007, 4:07, Reply)

Not graffiti in the traditional sense
But about two months ago, some unknown artist had stapled photocopies of his perplexing doodles all over the benches at my college, as well as taped them to all the light poles, along walls, and to trash cans. It was..strange. I took one for myself, and now it hangs on my wall:

(Click for bigger)
I love the top middle astronaut, he just looks so optimistic.
( trintrin has jam for blood, Fri 4 May 2007, 3:54, Reply)

"THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
...if that's okay with the rest of you guys..."
(EasilyRecognisable I’m back baby, Fri 4 May 2007, 3:24, Reply)

When I was
around 19, I lived in a godforsaken hertfordshire satellite town.

There, in the dank, urine-scented underpass leading to a soul-less shopping centre, hiding in the darkness, scrawled 'pon chipped blue tiles lining the walls, was the legend:

I LOST MY VIRGINITY HERE

complete with a downwards arrow, singling out a specific point on the stained, littered and shit-strewn tarmacadamed floor.

And they say romance is dead.
(cs1ca, Fri 4 May 2007, 3:04, Reply)

I suggest we turn this into a new socially interactive QOTW
I call for B3tans everywhere to leave a B3tan "tag" on a local; wall, toilet cubicle, dirty car, shaved in the side of a kitten whatever...

- I think, inkeeping with the greatest of B3ta bandwagons the words "fluffeh teim" would be the best tag to use -

and any fellow B3tan who later stumbles across said graffiti should post it in the QOTW.

Who's with me?!
( Mister B is eating an icanhazcheezburger with lmaonaise, Fri 4 May 2007, 2:48, Reply)

University of York
Any students here will be familiar with 'ah good the sea' written in skinny white letters on a brick wall in an alleyway near campus.
(LAE, Fri 4 May 2007, 2:44, Reply)

"O, intelligent graffiti, where art thou?"
...on the wall of my student union toilets.

Also, the philosophical debate which started "Don't do drugs, try John 3:16 instead", continued "same difference; religion is the people's opium" and followed on quite intellectually until someone added "You're all Marxist bastards" and it turned into a flame war before eventually getting painted over.
( xugglybug - you know, the one with the ears, Fri 4 May 2007, 2:35, Reply)

Under the light switch in the music school toilets...
A LIGHT TO LIGHTEN THE GENITALS

Short and sweet, but I was a mere boy back then.
( cornmatthew, Fri 4 May 2007, 2:30, Reply)