Fat Bastards - Top Tip
Think of your favourite food ever. You know, the one you always eat, seven times a day, and no matter what anyone says, you know you will always cram it down your fat, festering gob until you've died of a heart attack, your only achievement being to line the pockets of the evil multi-national conglomerate who preyed on your weak will to get you addicted in the first place.

Done that? Right, now think of your least favourite food.

Now, every time you look at your most favourite food, imagine your least favourite person in the world has made it, and has been spitting in it, spunked in it, and sprinkled knob-cheese scrapings whilst also adding in your least favourite food.

Disgusting, eh?
Never eat that again, eh?

Well how come you still go to McDonald's? After all, a good, barbequeued burger can be very pleasant, but when you add a Kraft Knob-Cheese slice, suspicious warm spunkish-mayo, Chav-spittle and a gherkin, surely that, and only that, can be the worst food in the world?

I mean, for fucks sake, never trust a clown. Particularly to make your dinner.
(And I don't agree with that in the workplace, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 19:08, Reply)

Dill.
I never liked dill. Ok, so far that's nothing special. But a couple of years ago the dill's wrath really turned on me.

I was planning a holiday in France and needed cash. Only job I could find was in a cucumber factory - I had to put a handful of dill in every jar that came along on the conveyor belt. Thousands of jars an hour. The smell was disgusting. On the last day before my holidays I just couldn't stand it anymore, the stink made me sick. So I thought "fuck the jars, I gotta get out of here", went outside, sat down and started puking.

What I didn't know was that the pile of pallets I was sitting on was exactly the place where the fresh jars were delivered to.

I didn't hear the fork lift coming because I was busy puking.

The driver couldn't see me because he had two thousand jars right in front of his face. Which he unloaded straight onto my lap.

If he hadn't heard me screaming I'd be dead now.

Needless to say the holidays had to be cancelled. Fucking dill, eh? Today I can still identify the tiniest amount of the devilish ingredient in any dish, rendering it literally inedible for me.
( account88888 former cynic, converted to kindness, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 19:08, Reply)

Rancid phlegm
Otherwise known as rice pudding.

Why would you want to? Why? Why? For the love of God, why?
( Sausagegirl, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:59, Reply)

A small list
Brussel Sprouts = Green Shite.
Turnip = Turnipy Shite.
Onions = Just plain shite.
Prawn Cocktail Crisp = Vomity Shite.
Mayonnaise = Gay Anal Spunky Shite.

Brown sauce is the best. I like to spread it on my naughty bits.
(King In Crimson, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:58, Reply)

Bit of a gay question
'world's most hated food'? Over half the world dont have enough food to actively resent any...
only joking!!! I'm just bored of this idea already.
(lifelikeandposeable, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:58, Reply)

Tripe. It's evil.
Tripe. They don't even bother to disguise the fact its stomach lining. It's grotesque, tastes like SHIT and looks like something you'd find in a hazard bag after major surgery. TOUCH AT YOUR PERIL.

Also baked beans. What is their fucking problem. They taste like crap, have the consistency of conjealed sick and look like a viral infection. Just not nice
(spookyfish, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:57, Reply)

siu mais
cos my dad told me they were boiled mouse brains when i was little. Feel like throwing up whenever i see one
( Marillion's Marble Loo loo loo, I got some apples, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:56, Reply)

Avacodos
Fucking 'orrible green cack that tastes like a spunked up crack-whore's growler.
(Joons, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:46, Reply)

Swede
Tastes like potoatoes cooked in piss instead of oil. They also look like potatoes due to the way my dad prepares them.

Having a sunday roast is like russian roulette. Is it a spud or a swede.
( Gaz, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:44, Reply)

Raisins...
I dont care what anybody says theyre rather nice on there own but i hate with a burning passion the way they are lavished on any food imaginable
for example colslaw WHY? dear god.
Also scones, sandwiches, cakes, i feel too sick to continue.
(Thatguy, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:38, Reply)

Cheese and onion crisps
Big ol' pile of floppy donkey cunt they are, smell like crusty leper smeg. We all know ready salted is top notch foodery.
(lifelikeandposeable, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:30, Reply)

Heinz Macaroni Cheese
The congealed jizzum of Beelzebub.
(Reply, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:23, Reply)

i would have to say
onions beacuse they are the grossest things in the world...and the most dramatic:'( plus they taste like ass
(erotic cakes, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:12, Reply)

Vegetables suck
I mean, everything with chlorophyl has essentially the taste of grass. If I wanted to eat cattle food, I would just bend down and mow the grass with my teeth.

I tell you more, when one of those stupid vegans/neo-anarchists/greepeacers/republicans come to me and tell me that I am a coward barbarian for eating a dead animal´s flesh, I have only two possible answers:

1- "So it´s ok to eat something that is alive? Because the leaves of your letuce are still breathing and doing photosynthesis while you chew it in your month. Not to mention the poor seeds. At least I do not eat a cow´s embryo, and the animals that we kill to eat can actually deffend themselves."

2- "If we are not suposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"

Stop eating plants. I need them to continue my work.
(Monocromatico Lady Godiva's horse, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:12, Reply)

Where
to start?

Aubergines - like some sort of evil, fleshy, savoury banana. These physically repel me on just about every level, be it appearance, texture, smell or taste; if they made a noise, chances are that would make me feel ill too. They have an added personal horror because a few years back someone I worked for invited me for dinner at his place with an author whose work I had idolised since my teens, and they served a largely aubergine-based main course which I had to literally choke down.
Cucumber - foul. See also courgettes and let's face it, cucurbits in general.
Tomatoes - ghastly damp things with those hideous, hideous seeds that looks like the excrement of some huge insect. All right when cooked and largely unrecognisable. Tinned ones are the worst, since they have that unsettling tumorous look about them.
Lettuce - pointless yet nasty, making it the wasp of the vegetable kingdom.
Mayonnaise - the devil's own spunk. The worst thing about this is its omnipresence, yet to the best of my knowledge, nobody has ever complained that a sandwich doesn't have mayonnaise in it, but try finding one that doesn't. Also vinaigrette, mustard, etc.

And despite this bizarre squeamishness about salad dressings and a whole range of essentially harmless vegetables, I will eat almost anything that comes out of an animal except shit.

/edit - and since sprouts seem to be wildly unpopular, they are teh absolute woo in a stir fry. Really.
(Wong Fei-Hung - now with added flickr.com (see profile), Mon 12 Jul 2004, 18:01, Reply)

Bananas . . .
I think I must be quite rare for not liking bananas - and it bothers me somewhat cos I know they are good for you. However, it's not quite so much the taste, I can eat dried banana chips: it's the foul and disgusting texture and grim smell that makes me want to vom. If banana gets in my mouth I start to urge and find the whole experience quite upsetting.
(tom_artosorse, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:55, Reply)

Ice Tea.
Tea iced. Why? Tea is meant to be hot. Ice And tea. It just doesn't work!
And Lemon ice tea! What the shitting Christ is the need!?
( Laughing Boy, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:54, Reply)

swede = cat vomit
nuf said
( M@rkoni, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:50, Reply)

Prawn Cocktail Crisps....
NO! They stink like rancid fishy flakes. At school I had to move to the opposite side of the room from anyone eating the vile flavoured potato snack for fear of bringing up my own lunch.

Even worse is snogging someone who has eaten them less than 48 hours before. If I had to choose between tickling the tonsils of Kelly Brook immediately after she'd finished a pack, or Nadia from Big Brother with fresh breath, I'd suck face with the former bloke.

Then again, in that situation I probably wouldn't snog either....
(Grobie, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:47, Reply)

I hate...
Strawberries - cos i'm allergic, thus, shit
Gherkins - teh veggie cock - hehe 'vinegar strokes'
Turnip - uber carrot
Olives - I cant help but think of greeks, and greeks dont taste good
(mrmonkfish yolo420weedwizard, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:44, Reply)

Tapioca Pudding
..cause it looks like frogspawn :(
(a5972s, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:42, Reply)

I have told this story many times...
but I can't stand the jelly stuff you get in tinned meat and pork pies. It's all because my brother told me it was made from cow's spit when I was little.

By the time I figure out he was a lying bastard it was too late, my hatred of the stuff was already ingrained in my psyche.
( Mystery_Bob, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:39, Reply)

Cockles
are the only thing that has ever made me actually vomit just from eating one. I guess i must be a freak though - i mean, chewy rubbery and slimy with the taste of rancid fish and dogs spunk, plus the hidden bonus of grit/sand - who wouldnt love that?

The other thing i habitually avoid is trifle. Its the whole soggy sponge thing - eurrrgh. Never mind thats also its the most tawdry desert imaginable.
(Daveybaby, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:33, Reply)

Since you ask...
Cheese. I fucking hate cheese. How you people can put it anywhere near your face is beyond me. Not only the ordinary Lancashire or mild cheddar but the blue crap and that vomit-inducing parmesan. Why?
I get so sick of people saying 'You don't like cheese? I thought everybody liked cheese. I've never met anybody who doesn't like cheese' I just tell them it makes my eyeballs dissolve and death ensues in a fit ridden stinking explosion of guts and shit in 40 seconds flat. And my wife's favourite food bar none? Cheese. Especially the blue crap.
Coriander? Why don't you just squirt an entire bottle of fairy liquid into your mouth.
And grapefruit. Don't bring me grapfruit. Whoever called it grapefruit should be dragged into the street and shot at dawn. I like grapes but grapefruit is just false advertising.
(boukha, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:31, Reply)

Magic Mushrooms
When I was younger and living in Australia in the summer months mushroom picking was a popular activity for myself and some friends. In those days of course you couldn't just buy some from the shop as you can today. However as food tends not to keep for very long in the tropics and as we always picked enormous quantities of the stuff our mushrooms were not taken fresh but rather turned into a Magic Mushroom liquid.

This was kept in an assortment of plastic containers and bottles not being used immediately were frozen.

After a while in the fridge the mushroom liquid would separate into different layers and when this started happening you knew it would be difficult to keep down. Despite experimenting with different things to mask the taste (which was so bad that throwing up was a big problem) we hit a snag in that the item to mask the smell often also became associated with being ill.

As a mushroom lover before this stage of my life I went from having mushrooms everyday to now 6 years later only just now managing to start gingerly picking at them again. Oh and I couldn't drink lemonade for ages either.
(r0slynne, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:26, Reply)

I love the smell of porridge in the mornings...
but just one spoonfull makes me vomit copiously.

Mint Humbugs:
vile insipidly flavoured tooth rotting things.

BUT! I do rather like haggis
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:16, Reply)

onions
i remember once, i must have been about eight years old, and my mum served me up some ice cream and apple pie...i ran off from the table squealing with disgust to empty the contents of my mouth into the sink...for some reason, still unknown to me, a bit of raw onion had got into the dessert...to make matters worse, my mum then proceeded to rebuke me for my table manners, and when i tried to give my excuse, she told me i was a liar and demanded that i explain why raw onion might have been served up for me...the joys of childhood...my grandma once made gravy out of marmite...fair enough, i'm no culinary genius, but surely that's wrong...gravy, yes...marmite, a resounding no...
(conkers deep, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:11, Reply)

Not me but my sister
She doesnt like parmasan cheese.

Every time somone askes her if she wants any she says "No it makes me sick. Hey susie, remember the time I had parmasan cheese and ribeana and threw up in my spaghetti bolognase!?"
EVERY TIME!
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:02, Reply)

Thought of another!
Not really considered a well known food. However my sister still tasted dog crap and didn't much like it.

I'll explain. Me and my brother were forced to go out back a clean the garden up from dog crap, for this we had a shovel that looked like a small cricket bat. Anyway after finishing i was putting the shovel/bat back in place when my brother throws a skanky tennis ball at me i swing away with the bat to protect my self..which i did but inadvertantly flinging a little piece of crap off the end of the shovel/bat directly into my sisters mouth who was playing in the garden. I gather from the screams and tears that it didn't taste very nice so thats got to be the most hated food around.
( cooler_king That's no moon!, Mon 12 Jul 2004, 17:01, Reply)