I knew it was over
When i picked her up and threw her down my stairs - and followed that up by chucking her suitcase at her . . .

Needless to say i had a bit of a guilt trip - i suppose the fact she threw my television and brand new Sony Vaio laptop out the window warrants an act of madness?

doesnt it ?
( awallafashagba Da da da da da Dah dah, Thu 28 Jul 2005, 8:46, Reply)

The early stuff was not enough...
the heavy drinking every night to get some sleep, the ongoing depression about my job looking after desktops and servers for a community organisation. Nope, the personal fragmentations didn't send me the message.

It wasn't until the fourth or fifth night of a bizarre dream sequence which had me cataloguing all the possible suicide venues and methods in my town, that I got the hint.

It was the morning after I'd dreamed about jumping off the large shopping complex near work.

That same morning a woman did a similar leap inside the complex, and ended her troubles.

I got the message and quit. Ironically, the organisation is involved in suicide prevention and counselling.

Apols for length, but this is the first time I've stuck it in here.
(Aspergernaut, Thu 28 Jul 2005, 8:22, Reply)

fucking greeks
was with a mad athenian girl who prefered argueing to conversation, she was also a biter and used to beat me up to pass the time.

after about 3 weeks together she saw me walk for the first time (i'm very lazy) and she asked me if there was something wrong with me, but i knew it was properly over at about the one month mark, we were in bed, i'd managed to get her clothes off without her hitting me, her jelly was receptive, mirrors checked. on searching for condom suddenly realised i was about to finish before i'd started and immediately asked her (politely) to mouth my pole
she punched me twice hard in the teeth and then ran to the shower

she's a violent drunk anyway, and she smells, but i still would, and i can nick cheap greek fags off her
(John Doe, Thu 28 Jul 2005, 4:21, Reply)

Jobs
I knew my last job was over when I stopped smoking so much weed and realised I was in the kitchen of Domino's Pizza. Apperently I was that high I don't remember how I started work there.....
After that I started taking weeks off at a time and fiddleing my wages. Then one week I went down to Dorset, and never returned to the pizza factory again.
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Thu 28 Jul 2005, 3:06, Reply)

I knew my chances of passing my first job interview were over when...
I was discussing the over-reliance on technology to solve problems without standing back and looking at the holistic picture.
I said, that it's easily possible to build a system so complex that no one undestands and becomes a burden rather than a productivity tool, and that proper training and a phased rollout of a new system with a trial first audience should be perfomed, or else people maybe scared of the new box...like that film demon seed.

At this point they seemed quite impressed, but then one of the interviewers asked "what is demon seed".

I said it's a film with Julie Christie with robert vaughn voicing an advanced intelligent computer.
He replied and why would people be scared of that? Tell us a bit about the film.

and then i felt oblidged to explain the plot about how the system realised it was abouts to be swiched off and thus end it's "life". So it transfers itself into Julie Christie's house, Tortures her with the robotic house hold appliances until she submits and then impregnates her to create some sort of hideous robot/human hybrid.

The interview panel stared at me with open mouths. And that's when i knew it was over.

The rejection letter simply stated "we regret that you are not the type we were looking for."
(Bendigeidfran, Thu 28 Jul 2005, 1:17, Reply)

My last girlfriend...
Everything went well for the first couple of weeks of our relationship, until I noticed periods where she'd ignore my texts/phonecalls/MSN messages. Time of the month? More like of the week. Turned out she was going through phases of depression and cut herself regularly. Nice.

Compliments such as 'your hair looks nice' or 'I'll miss you' (when about to go to Paris) were met with 'don't lie' or similar.

She also abused her 'powers' as a girlfriend by:
(a) insisting on drawing on me or attacking me with vaseline (don't ask) whenever I was near her. I walked away once during an attack to the face with a biro, only for her to run after me shouting at me
(b) being rude to me in front of my and her friends, but one day having a go at me for jokingly telling her to "fuck off" in front of... nobody!
(c) inferring things that were way off what I was actually saying: for some reason 'you treat me horribly' means the same as 'you're horrible' and 'my legs are dead' (when she'd been sitting on my lap for hours) means the same as 'get off me you fat slag'
(d) persuading me not to bugger off to my Dad's at half term so she could spend time with me, only to decide not to bother returning my texts/calls when I wanted to see her (see above)
(e) blocking me on MSN Messenger (I found this out when she signed in on my computer). Fucked if I know why...
(f) listening to the first three tracks of an album I decided to buy her before giving up. She even said she liked one of the songs. Why stop listening then?

We ended up splitting up almost exactly a week after I "met" another, much nicer, far better looking girl in London, also a couple of nights after a particularly drunken party. Apparently she was pissed off at me, because I wanted to spend "too much time" with her at said party, I think. She spent most of the evening crying in the toilets there. That prompted an almighty WTF - aren't partners supposed to spend a lot of time together?

So yeah, I knew it was over more or less from the start. Although I managed to last 5 weeks going out with an utter psycho. Result!
(SJH, Thu 28 Jul 2005, 0:26, Reply)

I knew it was over when....
I was given a formal warning and councilling session over a comment I made about a co-workers "mail-order" bride at an informal company dinner. This from the bloke who spent 3 years tweeking my arse and suggesting sex in the copy room several times a week. Oh the irony!!!
( sheraloonytunes, Thu 28 Jul 2005, 0:12, Reply)

when
i told the manager of a well known pizza restraunt chain, in no uncertain terms to "shove the job up her f**king fat arse" and promptly went to walk out. only to find hitlers sister (aka ex boss) blocking my way and trying to escort me out the back entrance. then, she demanded the shirt i was wearing (staff uniform). i told her where to go and stormed out.
and ive still got the shirts (3 of them).
and i made her cry.
serves her right, stupid bint.
(Geoff Leopard, Thu 28 Jul 2005, 0:12, Reply)

Over
I'm afraid I don't have an anecdote about a painful breakup, but I *did* just find a 1/16 size violin in back of my attic and am having loads of fun playing it like a midget's double-bass. I shall never get bored of doing this: my summer holiday ennui is over forever!
Hurrah!
(Dogbox, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 23:54, Reply)

I know it will be over tomorrow
when my peadophile stepfather's coffin is lowered into the ground.

I'd piss on his grave, but apparently it's illegal.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 23:44, Reply)

I knew my career as a classical musician was over....
when i picked up my drum sticks and stuck a cigarette in my mouth...

So much for the Piano and two Choirs...
( Donkey Rhubarb, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 23:32, Reply)

i knew it was over
when ntl started being utter cunts, your bill is £100 for 1 month of broadband
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 23:08, Reply)

Seconds anyone?
When my recent ex said we could still be sex buddies - while she still slept with her other recent ex (Who she dumped me for)... Hey, she's hot but I'm not one to share! I did make her shower and hit that ass more time though.
I should've probably told her that earlier that day I woke up hungover with her best friend and no condom packet in sight, thankfully she was on the pill but I didn't bother to shower for my meetup later that night with the ex. I can't help but laugh with manic glee.
( TN, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 22:59, Reply)

When I reached the bottom of the bottle
looked up and still felt like crap...

that's probably when I decided alcohol was no substitute for support

shame the support I got came 2 years after I needed it most.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 21:40, Reply)

my 1st serious gf (the one who has my v plates)...
... started seeing one of my then friends after aother (well, two, but anyway...) the second one shagged her for a year. i knew it was over between them when she rang me and called him 3-inch daniel.

how we laughed.
( bierbelly, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 20:23, Reply)

I knew it was over when...
I figured out what a two faced, lyin', selfish, back stabbin', untrustworthy, materialistic, immature wee scumbag he was...

Nice and simple really.
(popmybubble, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 20:11, Reply)

I knew it was over when
he phoned me during the World Cup Final.

And it wasn't to talk about the footie.
( Pachey, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 19:31, Reply)

How I found out...
Damn, this won't post...
( Butters and his titanium codsocket, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 19:03, Reply)

I knew it was finally over
when after seven years lost in the Delta Quadrant, we had finally returned home.

Oh wait, that was Captain Janeway.

My life is still shit
( nnnndave, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 18:11, Reply)

Depressing? Bloodyhellfire no!
A good chum of mine (no, not me!) drove from London to Newcastle to see this lass who he had been seeing for a short while, hoping for some legover. He duly arrived at her student house, where she greeted him thusly, "Sorry, I'm busy tonight.". Poor bugger then drove to Stirling to see a friend. No legover.



No apologies for fruitiness, am bored with length.
(CdrVimes, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 17:43, Reply)

I knew it was over
when my recent ex (we'd been together seven and a half years) called me because we needed a 'chat', doom and gloom, I knew what was going to follow by sheer intuition.
She needed to tell me she'd been sleeping with my best friend since we split up, he'd been constantly round at my flat consoling me and giving me advice and listening to how I felt about her, sitting on my sofa, watching my telly, eating my food, drinking my beer, sleeping on my floor, playing my guitar and generally acting normal.

The bastard. Nevermind. Two good friendships over.
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Wed 27 Jul 2005, 17:26, Reply)

You know it's time to move job when
You've memorised the bank details and the login information for Online banking of the company you work for.

Help me, please!
( Joliet, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 17:17, Reply)

Well.. that was a quick date..
I knew it was over when despite having a 'great date' she wasn't eager to answer my calls, and then came the rejection e-mail. The reason? Not enough time to deal with someone who needs that much attention.

Pitiful excuse. The only reason I sent the 'excessive' 2 texts and 2 phone calls is because she wouldn't reschedule the 2nd date to a specific time, I was trying to actually progress the budding relationship, and waiting puts a crimp in seeing my existing friends.

Either you're free, or you're not, so stop dithering and commit to something definite.

Note to any other ladies (or men) thinking I'll sit at home ready to go out whenever, instead of booking half my week up seeing different friends : feck off now, and save us both the trouble. I don't care how sexy or interesting you are - I'm no-one's convenient shag toy.

If you want to reject me : don't fart around, do it straight away.
(EssY, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 17:15, Reply)

I knew it was all over
When she gave me a blowjob that made me feel physically sick.
(richard pye, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 16:53, Reply)

I knew it was over when...
A month after a huge arguement at seven in the morning with my then fiancee, at our New Years eve party and after making up and then not speaking to each other, we had another less loud "chat" and split.

This we'd done many times in the past, so I assumed we'd get back together like we always did. How wrong can you be she promptly moved out with the words there's so much I want to do that you've already done, so now's my chance to do it!

Ok thinks I, let her do this and then we'll get back together.

Cue her moving in with a bloke eleven years older than her within a month and then nicking half the stuff from the house. This is the same bloke who when she met him for the first time she laughed at him saying he was trying too hard.

To top it all, on the day she moved out (two days before Valentines day)I wrote off my lovingly rebuilt Golf GTI, not the best day of my life but hey i'm not bitter, twunts!
(El Cabron, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 16:18, Reply)

I knew it was finished
when the credits started to roll, the lights came on and people got up to leave...
(DrGonzo, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 16:14, Reply)

My bro knew that his relationship was over and he wasn't going to lose it when...
It was Valentines day 1997, my brother and i(twins) were 15. My mother was away and my bro wanted me out of the house so he could lay on some food, wine, slow music, cheep flowers etc for his chav of a girlfriend in the hope that she would finally give it up (instead of asking to drink his decanted seed...weired)I say 'no problem' and arrange to stay at a friends for the night.

Unfortunetly for my bro, this fell through at the last minute and put a spanner in the works on his big night. He was really pissed at me but i managed to convince him of a way that the situation could work out for everyone.

Having a large fitted wardrobe in the room that we shared we agreed that i could empty out the bottom and set up a temporary residence (inc bed, TV, PS1...)It really wasnt that big..

While he was wining and dining his gf i was playing X-Men children of the atom in the closet(completeing it for the first time!) ...watching TV etc. I eventually fall asleep only to be woken by his topless girlfriend obviously in search of a t-shirt in the darkened wardrobe. I start to laugh, she looks down at me and starts to scream...and cry.

My bro never managed to get laid that night, and his gf never came back.

Length?
(sterlingsmithe, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 16:11, Reply)

I know it's over...
...every time I wake up.

My recurring dreams of never finding love and dying unloved are snuffed out the second I awake.
It is then with great relief that I see my partner laying next to me and also think about the beautiful daughter we have.

Life's good.
It also sucks.
But when I wake up it's good.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 16:10, Reply)

With my first boyfriend...
I should have seen the warning signs before we even started going out, but being 16 and naive and very very smitten I was prepared to ignore the fact that he had gone out with three of my friends, including my best friend within three months, and had dumped them all (with disastrous consequences). No, it was a year on, he was probably different now (hah!)

This guy was half Turkish, half English, and a Trotskyist. Being Jewish, I obviously couldn't tell my mum I was going out with a half Muslim sworn atheist hater of capitalist society, so I had to keep the whole thing secret. He looked a bit like Che Guevara - but only because he deliberately tried to, beard, beret and all!

His ambition at the time was to go to South America and become the Communist dictator of one of the countries there, where he would have absolute power and an enormous mansion. Yes, in short he was a delusional nutter.

After 7 weeks we were talking online at about 1 in the morning, and being the neurotic little thing I was I asked him if he loved me. "Well, uh, I've been meaning to talk to you about that."

There then followed a three hour break up converstaion in which he detailed how he didn't think it was working, and how he was madly in love with a girl who'd been in his class since year 8, but had only ever been his friend, whereas he had fallen in love with her at first sight. She would come to see him when he was a dictator in South America, come to the mansion and lock eyes with him, in that second realising that she was passionately in love with him when she would run into his arms.

It was well and truly over, but I ended up trailing after him for the next few months anyway 'being friends'(ie hoping somehow we'd get back toegther). Looking back, I don't understand why I didn't realise he lived in cloud cuckoo land.

Interestingly enough, he spent his gap year working as an accountant at a factory, spent all the money on a three month holiday to America, and while there met a girl on a roof at a party. They got married so that she could come over to the UK - and this guy had never been able to keep a relationship going for more than three months!

Me and my best friend tried to get in contact with him to see how it's going, but to no avail. I wonder how they're doing...
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 16:06, Reply)

when he rolled over
and said goodnight.

I wouldn't have minded but I hadn't even taken my trousers off.
( eponymous Oh!, Wed 27 Jul 2005, 15:33, Reply)