I haven't lost anything!
Other than my dignity.

However i do know a bloke who had his leg taken off and has a fake leg which didn't fit when he first had it and kept falling off. It also appears on tables in pubs when your trying to eat.
(The lord Boo., Thu 1 Jun 2006, 23:40, Reply)

Lumps missing
The first was a tumor sort of thing cut out of the back of my neck, the doctor got a bit enthusiastic with the op and left me unable to touch my hands together with my arms stretched out in front of me for a few months. And the second removed from my leg by a friends dog after it tried to rip my bollocks off, So glad it missed.
( dirk gentley, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 23:34, Reply)

Half my colon
Taken out when I was 15 due to it trying to kill me (Crohn's disease - shedloads of ulcers).

I like to imagine it's crawling through the drains under the hospital to this day, occasionally zooming out to strangle a nurse.
(littlesunshine licked your blinky diodes on, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 23:33, Reply)

Felopian tube, I believe
Was an 11 year old boy when my nuts started hurted *real* bad. Turns out I've got a thing called 'Tortion of the Testes' which is when your the blood vessels get tied in knots and cut of the blood supply.. and it bloody hurts, too.

Turns out that as well as stitching up my nads, the surgeons also found a minature, left over piece of girl floating around in there. Weird.

They threw it away, the bastards. Wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
(Iain K, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 23:29, Reply)

tooths
my tooth died, it died it did. Went a funny grey colour so I got some porcelain jammed on top of it.
I have part of a toilet in my mouth...oh joy

BatDyke, it's a ganglian in your knee. Whack it with a bible, that'll sort it out I'm told
(The Mighty Mantrap Mantra Man, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 23:28, Reply)

Not like your average story...
My dad's friend had a body part die inside of him. No word of a lie.

Years back my dad worked down't pit as all Yorkshire folk did. He worked with a man who, though a lovely bloke, had terrible breath.(And when you're a mile underground ain't no fresh air coming in).

The guy stopped coming to work and my dad asked his mum why. And was told he had two months to live.

Turns out the guy's lung had become blocked and died inside of him. The bad breath was the rotting flesh. He was never in pain. And died peacefully - and in true Yorkshire style joking to the end.

So whilst there will be the typical 'I knew a man with no finger rofl!' comments, imagine the man my dad was mates with, all those years ago, who lived for over a year with a dead, rotting lung inside his chest.
(Northern Lovely, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 22:58, Reply)

All Heart
I left my heart in San Francisco, or should that be the Half Man Half Biscuit version I Left My Heart In Papworth General?
(Julian Coped, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 22:53, Reply)

Ok, not a body part I lost..
but I used to date a girl who's Dad made artifical limbs for children. She told me that kids could have cartoons characters put onto their new limbs like a tattoo. I was soooo tempted to chop my arm off just to get a He-Man arm.
(Laxly, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 22:36, Reply)

Yikes
A couple of years ago my mates dragged me along to the Discworld convention in the luscious Hanover Hotel in Hinckley. On the second night we abandoned the pub quiz and hooked up with a motley bunch of Glaswegian Mechanics who were stunned to find themselves the only ones in the hotel not dressed in some sort of barbarian/witch/bum bagged german costumes.

'There are some strange people here' my mate says to the glaswegians. Apparently not as strange as one of the kids in his class who, and I quote

'Cut his nipples off with scissors'
(Kazza , loathing myself so you don't have to, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 22:30, Reply)

Tooth
Was at primary school sliding on ice and found a not-so-slippy bit. Fell on my face and smashed my tooth half out which hurt like a bastard.

The dentist had to pull the rest out which hurt even more. When a dentist tells you that it's going to hurt - it's really going to hurt - and it f***ing did!

Great for a 7 year old.

When I was 18 a different dentist did me a bridge - file down the teeth the other side and there ya go.
This dentist also told me it was going to hurt and by golly it did.

(Is that off topic????)

Edit: Not that I care if it's off topic of course - And yes, workboresme - we need to see :-P
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 22:13, Reply)

Big Toe
I stubbed it but the best bit is that I didn't NOTICE what I'd done until I looked down and my sock had turned red. Turned out I'd not just taken off the end but it hadn't fallen off so I had to pull it off myself. It sort of grew back, perhaps a bit flatter than before but its certainly not interesting enough for photography.

Fin.
(ladyintheradiator, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 22:02, Reply)

Parmesan
I have something like that in my knee, it's like a weird lump that I can sorta push around near the kneecap. Any idea what it is? I've had it for years.
( Bats, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:49, Reply)

Oh - and bits of teeth
I was assaulted by a psychopathic nutjob (who happened to be Windsor Davies' grandson, oddly enough) in the middle of a DT lesson, about ten years ago.

After asking him to "SHUT UP!!!" - having put up with a torrent of abuse from the mongferret for years, he very kindly decided to punch me - rather hard as I recall - in the mouth, knocking me flying, and then kicked my head in a few times, for good measure. I spat out several bits of teeth, then I dragged myself into the next room, told a teacher I'd been done over, and passed out.

The bastard got two weeks suspension.

WTF?!!?!?
( Parmesan Quality b4 Quantity, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:45, Reply)

A chickpea in my knee
I found a weird lump near my right knee. This, oddly enough, corresponded with my Dad's weird lump near his right elbow - which looks like a third elbow, it's so big.

Sensibly enough, I decided to operate.

Myself.

Upon myself.

Bizarrely enough, I wasn't pissed.

So.

I cut it out.

It looked just like a chickpea.

It hasn't come back.

Thankfully.
( Parmesan Quality b4 Quantity, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:37, Reply)

Hmmm
Missing body parts.

My foreskin. Ripped off. In one.

I'm not Jewish.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:24, Reply)

I'm actually all still here apart from a kidney stone
and a couple of teeth.

oh..


and most of my hair.... (not gail porter stylee - just male pattern baldness)
( TBL I posted this on, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:19, Reply)

I'm Heartless
Well,part of it,anyway. I was born well before being full-term and got to spend the first few months of my life in an incubator. Yipee. Not only was I a hideous,shrunken doll of an infant,but my early birth came with the added bonus of me missing part of the valve that connects one side of my heart to the other.

I had my first heart attack at the age of seventeen and can look forward to more as the surgery to fix me is apparently just as risky as letting me be. Glorious.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:19, Reply)

Teh ultimate irony.
A cheepskate workmate bought some of those teeth shape sweets. Me being a proper kid was pretending they were me own. I bit into it, and my tooth broke in two, right into my gum. When i wobbled it, i could feel my gum moving. BiG wus when the dentist took it out though.
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:16, Reply)

Cor
You lot are *cool*, I wish I had something missing now! More images where possible, please?
( Bats, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:16, Reply)

i've lost a quarter of the sight in my right eye
thanks to high Intracranial pressure killing my optic nerve.

pretty nifty for sympathy though.
( Seventh is somewhat subdued, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:09, Reply)

my little toe.
i WANT to get rid of it. it just seems rather pointless. its always cold and its always stubbing its self on stuff.

i is also very hard and dead due to me walking nearly everywhere.

sometimes i just feel like snaping it off. i realise its probably very useful in terms of balance, but its just annoying.
(leftehhhh, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 21:07, Reply)

I can taste my balls...
I have two false teeth, not strange enough but since i knocked them out the bone dissapeared at the top of my jaw.
I now have a piece of my crotch keeping my teeth in.

Lovely i know.
(generalname, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 20:56, Reply)

Don't be a man, be a wuss.
That's my advice for next time you go to hospital. About seven years ago, after a work related accident, I found myself in hospital, holding my right forearm and elbow, which was in a lot of pain. Being a pillock/man (delete as appropriate) I chose not to show the immense pain, instead bottling it up into a tight knot deep inside of me.

This backfired when I was being examined by the A&E doctor and she told me take off my jumper. I protested, pointing out that I was in fact in a lot of pain, and she said "Don't be stupid, if it was really broken you'd be making a lot more noise than you are". So I end up taking off my jumper (which hurt more than you can possibly imagine) and she examines my elbow/forearm and concludes it can't possibly be broken, but let's get x-rays just to be certain.

So an hour later I have my x-rays and they show a bloody great chunk of bone missing from the joint of my elbow. The damn thing still hurts to this day. The bitch never did say sorry.
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 20:45, Reply)

OOoh
When I was about 14, we had an art assignment, to draw a crushed can. But they didn't want any old ordinary can, no, they wanted something interesting. Cue dad giving me an empty soup can... So I go out to the garage with my hammer "Wait up and I'll get a piece of wood to put over the top so you can crush it properly". "Screw this" thinks I, and proceeds to whack the can right on the lid. The next thing I know there's a loud clang from the back of the garage, where the soup can has just landed. Still undented. There is, however, a big gash out of my right finger. Five fucking hours waiting in A&E Tonbridge Wells and I get a bloody dressing. That's it. No sterilisation, no stitches, a fucking dressing. I managed to read half of the first LOTR book while I was waiting. Bloody NHS.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 20:42, Reply)

Run away! Run awayyy!
When I was no older than ten, I had my adenoids and turbinates removed from my sinuses, or wherever the hell they're supposed to go.

Anyway, it was general anesthetic but they didn't use enough of it to begin with. I don't know if I woke up during the actual procedure or not, I couldn't remember, but as soon as they'd left the room I woke up.

It was a very small clinic, and my room was adjacent to the street, with an exit door set into one wall.

So, completely stoned me decides to get out of the place, and so I stumble out onto the street and start walking, ten years old and completely out of it.

They did find me eventually, though..
(Fodqou, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 20:37, Reply)

Knuckle
I have a... well, compressed knuckle, that one:


It looks like this:

(the rightmost one).
T'aint much, but it's mine.
( Herbicide wants a word., Thu 1 Jun 2006, 20:28, Reply)

I had my tonsils out
(woah major surgery etc.) when I was about 4.

This didn't stop the end of my first year at University being ruined. Just after exams with a couple of weeks to sit and do nothing but beerage, I managed to get tonsilitis.
Similar to getting appendicitis without a bloody appendix. I was a tad miffed.

finnbar - when you knock your jaw does it make a metalic thunk noise? I've always wondered
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 20:25, Reply)

Just three teeth
but the dentist injected the anasthetic into my tongue instead of my gum, so when he was poking my teeth, and asking "Can you feel this?" he didnt understand my fevered crys of "Dear God yes!". Then he pulled them out, accompanied by a very loud crack.
Didnt like him too much after that
(Anduril, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 20:03, Reply)

Norks!
I have a chunk of my right boob missing - it's a tiny chunk. I had an abcess that had to be surgically removed a few years ago, and as the wound had to be left open to drain (and packed with dressing on a daily basis), I now have a rather nice scar where the bit of my boob is missing.
I'd post pictures, but nobody wants to see my boobs, do they?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 19:57, Reply)