gay, but not in a happy way.
Last week, those two gay Scottish interior designers were filming in the house across the road from my flat. They were filming the shot of them mincing down the street, talking piss. I found it really funny to shout “ BUMMERS” loudly out my window, then duck and hide behind the curtain, as any real man would. I did it 8 times, every time ruining the shot. They laughed the 1/2 time, by the 8th time; the dark haired one shouted, “FUCK OFF”. Somewhat stunned, the only reply I could muster from the safety of my curtain based hiding place was a loud “GAY LORD”. That showed them. They gave up after that and went in side. Although, I did ring the doorbell and run away. I only hope my homophobic heckling makes the final cut. If ever you watch a show of theirs from Edinburgh, listen out for “bummers”. That’s me. My mum will be so proud.
(Jeeves, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 14:40, Reply)

Yes.
In response to next weeks Question Of The Week, yes - I too have had premonitions.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sun 14 Nov 2004, 22:43, Reply)

Pillow Fight Club
17:15 : Left Work
17:20 : Hailed Black Taxi to St. Pauls Cathedral
17:30 : Arrive at St. Pauls with pillow

Now Here I am clad in my bestest pin stripes, white shirt, blue fleur de lys tie looking every inch Micheal Caine on pies...tentatively fingering the pillow in my work bag I spy a few hundred student, creatives, a few suits and some Goth cross dressers all nervously clutching large suspiciously pillow shaped carrier bags.

17:35 : A final cigarette, I have a final letter in my top pocket and my glasses are off ready for the impending pillowy violence
17:40 : A shrill whistle blown by a little daigo type character and I draw my pilow from the bag like a latter day viking and I join the battle with a full throated cry of madness

I club a number of various people, generally concentrating on the whoopsies, short folk, foreign types and the occasional cute girl, everyone is laughing and twatting the nearest person for all they're worth, then disaster, someone with a duck down pillow catches me a glancing blow across the temple and I stumble temporarily blinded, Goliath momentarily stopped! Three smallish italian looking types are on my immediately but they're too late, my composure regained I fel lthe first one with a mighty blow of my pillow and then turn on my heel ducking to catch a second with a vicious pillowy uppercut then I round on the final one who panics, fear in his eyes I draw back my mighty pillow like a latter day Thor and he is taken out by my mate from work I've gone with. Then back to back we wreck a terrible retribution on those within clumping range, truly cry havoc and unleash the pillows of war! A man possessed I twirl, spin, duck and thump then a final whistle and it's is over. We hoist our pillows skyward and yell like we've just done the frnechies at Agincourt. very stirring stuff I tell you. I then have a camera thrust in my face and a number of odd questions asked of me. In the post battle euphoria I am verbose...

Interviwer pleb : So why did you come down here today
Dan : To maim and injure.
Interviwer pleb : (nervous laugh) no really
Dan : I wanted to get a couple of eyes out, you know really hurt someone, I saw someone putting brick in their pillow case but he didn't have enough to lend me.
Interviwer pleb : (more nervous laughter) and what do you think of this then
Dan : London needs more Pillowy Violence
Interviewer pleb : thank you
Dan : Thank you .

Then I twatted him with my pillow just so he knew I meant business and went off to the pub. Six pints of extra strength kraut lager later and I in my flat watching the news on BBC1 and then there I am on the F*CKING TV whacking someone with my pillow, pissed and laughing I flick onto ITV news only to see my grinning face telling the camera "I wanted to get a couple of eyes out, you know really hurt someone, I saw someone putting brick in their pillow case but he didn't have enough to lend me." and then I am made up 10 O'Clock news on BBC1 and ITV! Fantastic the cherry on the cake is also make Channel 4 news with Peter Snow saying 'Looks like jolly good fun'...

I never apologise for my length.
(dannyboy72, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 15:33, Reply)

Blue Peter woe
I had a mad dog. He had to go to obedience classes.

In six weeks, Snoop learned a) how to sit on command b) not to sniff the other dogs’ arses and c) very little else. It was clear that he was less than a model student.

Then it was announced that for the following week’s class, there would be a Very Special Guest. John Noakes, Shep and a Blue Peter camera crew would be coming down to film a doggy obedience class. We were to be on best behaviour, and arse-sniffing would not be tolerated.

Come the big day, half of the village turned up for the filming. Those of us taking part in the filming were greeted like Wonka Golden Ticket holders, with a mixture of wild applause and thinly veiled envy. Then Noakes turned up with Shep in an open-topped Triumph Stag. He was, at this time, at the height of his powers as the coolest guy on Earth, and he was hailed with a deafening ovation.

Shep may have been behaving himself and acting the consummate TV professional, but the other dogs in the class certainly weren’t. The TV cameras, the lights, the crew, the disruption, and not to mention half the village hammering on the windows made for very twitchy canines. My sixth Scary-sense was twitching. Something unusual was about to happen.

“Get down Shep!” shouted Noakes.

“Get down Snoop!” I countered, closely followed by “BUGGER!” as the little sod slipped his collar and set off on a grand tour of the hall sniffing arses as I floundered in his wake.

Flailing several yards behind my quarry, I could only watch with horror as Snoop’s nose connected with Shep’s superstar arse while the masses outside could only howl with laughter. Then, his arse-sniffing duties complete, Snoop went for the master. The red mist was down. Noakes was in his sights. I couldn’t look.

This time Snoop ignored the celebrity arse and went for the leg. John Noakes’s leg. The leg that had jumped out of airplanes, climbed Nelson’s Column, had plummetted down a bobsleigh track at ninety miles per hour. The leg that had quite possibly nestled against Valerie Singleton every Monday and Thursday on the Blue Peter sofa. My dog was screwing John Noakes’s leg.

“Get down...err...dog!”

Fair play to the four-legged pervert, he clung on for dear life, a determined look on his face, while TV production people tried to separate randy dog from the talent. We were asked to leave.

None of the other dogs tried to shag Noakes’s leg, the bloody traitors. It was hours before they finished filming and the crowds out outside melted away so the pair of us could leg it home.

School for the next week was predictably hellish, especially when the item on dog training was shown on Thursday’s edition of Blue Peter. Virtually all of my friends had managed to get on TV as part of the crowd peeering in through the windows, while I was edited out completely, and didn’t even get a Blue Peter badge for my pains. My humiliation was complete.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 12:57, Reply)

And that's why Jamie Theakston's a cunt....
A few years back, as most people will no doubt remember, Jamie Theakston used to do The Priory with Zoe Ball. He used to do a spoof of Jim'll Fix It called Jamie Will Make The Necessary Arrangements, and he used this opportunity to twat about in a large chair, and allow the nation to hate him. Then he'd give an email address where people could email in with stuff they wanted Jamie to make possible.

One particular episode, he'd brought a toy along - a button which played Tim Westwood quotes (Westwood being that week's guest). Cue much twatting about, "drop the bomb" repetition and laughing at his own 'wit'. I thought I'd email the fucker even tho I was just 15 and ask if he could make the necessary arrangements for me to boot him up the arse.

And guess what? Even tho it was a joke, the producers at Ginger loved it, and emailed me back, telling me they wanted to film me booting him up the arse. I went round the whole of school telling everyone I was going down to London that night to be on The Priory - I was the man. Then I got a phone call from the guy at Ginger - and I quote - Jamie didn't want to look like a twat on TV. I pointed out he already did, and the fellah agreed with me but said sorry, I'm not going to be on TV after all.

I emailed in every week after that, repeatedly telling Jamie I wanted to boot him up the arse, but they never replied. And if it ever comes back on the air, I'll keep emailing in. That'll show the cunt. Even his production team hated him.

Sorry for length!
(Hammer Time, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 15:30, Reply)

The Movie 'Short Circuit'
is loosely based on my life.

Only it wasn't a robot that came to life when it was struck by lightning, it was an uncle who died.
(Sex Panther, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 12:29, Reply)

Due to a freon leak, my old high school narrowly avoided being a mass grave .
Many of the students affected by the gas were interviewed while being carried away on stretchers (freon is nasty stuff if inhaled), and hailed as heroes for survivng the "worst school tragedy since Columbine."

Despite not being affected, I decided I deserved my fifteen milliseconds of fame. And so, stuck between news clips of hospitalized children, crying mothers, and deathly ill teachers, I can be seen sticking my head out the window of a bus and yelling "I'm Mr. Cheese Head! Wip willy woo!"
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Mon 15 Nov 2004, 10:38, Reply)

Famed for taking a wrong turn?
My friend and I went to a nearby town to visit a mate and ended up taking a wrong turn through some "temporarily opened" police barriers onto a section of street that had been closed for a Royal Horse Parade or some such nonsense.

Of course, once we'd gotten inside the barriers we couldn't get out so the whole procession (which was televised nationally and I'm pretty sure included Princess Margaret) was lead by two idiots in a crappy blue nova.

We just had to wind the windows down and wave to the crowds as we went. And thousands waved back at us with expressions ranging from entertained bemusement to apopleptic rage.

Sheer bliss.
(PCheese, Fri 12 Nov 2004, 17:02, Reply)

Things I have learned as an Extra
- Robson Green is, regrettably, a damned nice bloke. Really, no-one wanted to hate him more than me. And the inconsiderate BASTARD behaved like a polite and pleasantly self-depreciating man all weekend.

- Amanda Donohoe is completely fucking minging, possessed as she is of a face that looks like it's been soaked overnight in vinegar.

- The smaller a person's speaking role in Byker Grove is, the more self-important airs and graces they give themselves.

- The skinny hispanic looking bint that crosses the street in the Toyota ad (the one where the chap is supposedly on a test drive) will do anything to further her career. Anything.

- Richard York doesn't actually act. He plays Richard York. In every film. I often wonder if he realises he's appearing in films, or whether he thinks he's always getting himself into mad scrapes and just goes along with it.

- People involved in filming adverts frequently seem to misunderstand the nature of their work. Apparently, someone tells them that they're working on The Greatest Piece of Televisual Art in History. And not a piss poor attempt to sell more cars, the cunts.

- It is IMPOSSIBLE not to misbehave on the set of any adverts being financed by the Saatchis.
(Light, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 12:31, Reply)

OK so im in my IT class when the headmaster comes in with a cameraman
I dont goto a private school so i thought "this isnt illegal private school bumboy action being filmed, so whats going on then?"
No it turned out they wanted to do a few shots of the IT room with the headmaster pretending to look interested in what kids were doing on the computers
HOWEVER they didnt want US in the room, no we were too old, greasy and spotty (16) they wanted some fresh faced first years looking fresh faced while the smarmy head looked smarmy.
So feeling a bit rejected and vengefull while they were carting in said first years i opened paint and quickly drew the most horrific thing i could in 30 seconds which included some evil looking faces and badly drawn cocks.
I was then told to make way for some innocent looking 12 year old girl who took my seat...and my computer.
Que photo's being taken, no-one noticing anything out of the ordinary until the photo's get printed....que me looking very smug as the picture's are printed in the local paper and reveal a very scared looking 12 year old sitting staring at a computer screen covered in demonic faces and cocks whilst the headmaster stands in the back looking like a smug twat,HAHA and HA
(core blimey that was a long and wide one, and it went on for ages, fancy a ciggarette?)
(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 18:58, Reply)

This question takes me back...
In 1944 I was flying a Spitfire over occupied France. A German Boeing 747 fighter plane was on my tail. After four hours of dogfighting we were both out of bullets. The only option left was to fly at each other and try to remove each others wings with our own. Naturally, being British, I swiftly removed his wings, and watched with glee as I saw his evil nazi face engulfed with flames. It was then that I noticed that our fight had taken me completely off course; I was over evil nazi Germany. What's more, I was nearly out of fuel. I had to bail out. I donned my best bowler hat and pressed my trousers. Then I parachuted out. As I fell to the ground, imagine my embarrasment when I realised I was falling into the background of the party scene in Three Men And A Baby (which was filmed in evil Nazi Germany because Tom Selleck was the body double for evil Nazi Fuhrer). So, next time you are watching this family comedy romp, look out for a bowler hatted World War Two pilot in the background, mercilessly slaughtering evil nazi extras with his pen-knife.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Nov 2004, 17:29, Reply)

i was cracking one off in the morning, eyes closed, headphones on, when i rolled over and realised i was actually on a film set, being recorded. i had forgotten that i wasnt at home in bed.
you can see me in the background of the visitor's center foyer in Jurassic Park
(Slurpy The Frog, Sat 13 Nov 2004, 17:17, Reply)

Media Villification
Once a year or so ago when I was writing for my student newspaper a dead body was found on our university campus. Since this was obviously the most interesting thing that had happened in years me and my mate got into the car and drove up there (about an hour after most of the press had been and gone).

So we get there and after the obligatory "who's in charge here? Not anymore. Agent Weirzbowski, MI6" gag, we start grilling the cops who are unwilling to give us any information apart from what was on the press statement, which of course we already had. So we took a couple of pictures of the site, and had a lengthy conversation with two of the cops about rap music ("Cop Killer" and "911 as a joke" were two of the constables favorite songs. Oh, how we laughed). However what we failed to notice was a solitary TV news camera man filming us.

Later on, the footage that appeared on the news showed this. Myself, attired entirely in black, unshaven and with a crazed expression in my eyes laughing manically at the site of a suspicious death, flanked by two burly police officers.

For the next two hours I received continous phone calls from friends and family asking if I was in jail.

Also, two of my mates were on University Challenge, and got humped by York. They got one question right, about Nazis. Apparently Paxman is a badass, drinks constantly and makes fun of the contestant's ignorance.

And my other mate was in an episode of Sex and the City, putting his hat on in a street scene.
(weirzbowski, Fri 12 Nov 2004, 19:05, Reply)

Woo! I was on TV. for ALL THE WRONG REASONS.
I was robbed at knifepoint by three aborigines in February this year at Blockbuster where I worked. The story goes like this, and I do apologise for length in advance.

round about 6:30, two of the cunts that robbed me come in, while theres other customers around, walk to the drink fridge and pull out a bottle of coke (from the drink fridge, you can see into the office, btw) quick glance out the back and he walks up to the counter to pay for it.

And then he goes "oh, i have no money." and I was like, yeah whatever, thought nothing of it. him and his mate walk out.

7:30, no one in the store, nor the entire fucking complex for that matter (thanks beckenham) and im phoning people up, asking where our unreturned videos are. in walks the two cunts that came in before, along with another cunt, and HE walks straight behind the counter and into the office, to which I said "hang on mate, that's staff on.....oh fuck" I then see the other two come in, and i proceed to jump over the counter, which is next to the door. I got one leg over, but by that time, cunts number 1 and 2 had already made their way round the back and pulled me back over. I hit the ground like a sack of shit, they hoist me up, one either side and say "Open the till, Open the till!!" to which I did, then cunt number 1 and 3, proceed to take all the money out of the till.

Cunt number 2 then grabs me and pushes me up against the wall, puts a knife to my throat and says "where is the rest of the money?? don't fuckin move, or i'll stab you, you cunt!" So i didn't, life is something i don't reeeeally like fucking with. By that time, a car had pulled up, the cunts get spooked and run out.

BUT

while cunt number 1 was in the back room, he was searching for the security tape, which he thought he found. He flicked up the lid of one of the VCR's to find "Blockbuster Loop Tape" written on it. and being the dumbass that he is, he took it, thinking it was the security tape. The security tape, which shows the entire incident in all it's glory, was given to the police, who apprehended (eventually) cunts 1, 2 & 3. and then the media got hold of it....

NOW. to bring me to the point of answering this question. That following saturday, i was headline news on all three major channels in Western Aus, 7, 9 and 10.

Woo, my inbox on my mobile was flooded, and I was famous for a couple of days.

PS: Cunt number 2 also stole my watch. Oh well, he's in prison now. haha
(kyouraku, Fri 12 Nov 2004, 9:53, Reply)

Caught out.
I was also shown on live Tv doing crowd control for some shitty teen pop band. The only trouble with that was I threw a sicky from my regular job which at the time was selling Tv's in a Posh dept store. I faked a cold because the pay was loads better for a few days work.
So as the boss is walking across the shop floor he sees me live on BBC working there when i'm meant to be selling the very tv's I'm apearing on.
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Mon 15 Nov 2004, 23:05, Reply)

I'll Have a Shite Please, Bob
Me and my mate were on Blockbusters. We got beaten by a girl and we only won 40 quid each, plus a sweatshirt, a dictionary and a FiloFax. We were shit. The week after it was screened I was doing my milk-money round in the dark when a bunch of younger kids wearing balaclavas held an air pistol to my head and said they were going to execute me for 'being an embarrassment to the town'. I survived, however, because I'm very hard.
(Eehen, Mon 15 Nov 2004, 17:57, Reply)

You're on the news.
There I was in Amsterdam, sitting in the Grasshopper sampling the local wares, if you know what I mean. This fairly familiar looking bloke is being filmed in there. I was a little worse for wear and so took little notice....

Until 3 days later that is. There was a news report on South East at 6 about drug tourism. Guess who was sitting in the background of the report???
(chilling, Mon 15 Nov 2004, 16:16, Reply)

News Report
Not long ago (as many of you will have seen) there was girl in Nottingham who was shot in a drive by.

Well when they did the news reports at the 'Girl got shot' party/wake in the market square me and my friends (who needless to say were quite wasted from celebrating a mates birtday) decided it'd be fun to get blow up sex dolls from the local adult shop and Waltz across the square with them infront of the cameras.

God knows if it made it on to the TV but fuck me the police were angry.
(Deiwos - Woo I found my old name!, Fri 12 Nov 2004, 23:37, Reply)

I Was A Whore In The Movie From Hell
HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION, BY ME, AGE 17:

When I was 17 (mid-eighties) a friend had a job working for an extremely low budget film company. When he mentioned they needed girls my roommate and I thought "what the hell, we're not doing anything in particular this summer." We went over to meet the producer, who turned out to be running his film company out of the back room of his father's insurance office. He asked to see our legs, and we dutifully pulled up our skirts. (We were kind of thrilled. I think we half-hoped he'd try something so we could go off on him. Remember, we were 17.)

He asked us if we could dance, we told him yes, and he said "OK, you're hired." The movie turned out to be a western (?!?!?) and they shot it at a theme park that was closed down for the season, halfway up a mountain in North Carolina. When we got there they hadn't left us any instructions for getting TO the park itself - the parking lot was at the bottom of the mountain - and we had to talk a security guard into turning on the skilift.

They put us up in a rented condo with five other girls, one of whom wore three inches of makeup and never took it off, she just kept adding layer after layer. She looked like a half-melted wax dummy and turned out to be the producer's girlfriend. There was another chick who kept nattering the entire time about how she'd been an extra in a Chuck Norris movie. She wouldn't shut up about it. It was her answer to everything. If you asked her to pass the butter at breakfast, she'd tell you they had much better catering on the goddam Chuck Norris movie. I bet their toilet paper was softer, too.

The main things I remember: The cameraman was baked the entire time. He kind of fancied me, and once he took me out to his equipment car and showed me the glove compartment, which was completely stuffed with pot. He once passed out behind the camera - in the footage you could see the picture just sort of slowly drift toward the ceiling - and the guy who wrote the script wound up running the camera for an entire afternoon. Also, someone had left the beer taps loaded in the "saloon," and the bunch playing the bad guys became very dangerous to be around fairly quickly. We were supposed to go sit on their laps and generally act like saloon whores, and we learned very quickly that an accidental elbow to the crotch or a high heel in the instep would distract them long enough to get away.

I also remember I had to improvise a can-can, flipping my skirt up and showing undies. Unfortunately I was wearing my own, it not having occurred to me that they were going to be immortalized on film. They were very little-girl white cotton bikinis with Garfield the cat on them. The wardrobe woman took me in the bathroom and made me hand them over, and quickly stitched scraps of black lace all over them, and I went back to my can-can. I was the proud owner of the world's only pair of black lace Garfield panties. I thought they were hilarious, and I kept them for years, thus tying into LAST week's question as well.

The check bounced, the producer moved and they spelled my name wrong in the credits. I'm not going to tell the name of the movie, because I live in mortal fear that it will rise from the grave to haunt me some day.

Apoligies for length - hope it was worth it!
(RedQueen, Fri 12 Nov 2004, 17:26, Reply)

Ant 'n Dec
I once appeared on Live TV with Ant 'n Dec it was not long after they had finished their stupid pop career and they had started presenting Kids TV.Now with me hating manufactured music I figured its time to get them back for all the crappy music.
At the time I was employed by the BBC as a stagehand part of the job was to put on stupid costumes and actthe prat in front of the camera On the day in question I was dressed as Frankenstein's Monster bashing around the set knocking stuff over when i spotted my target. I ran forward and knocked Ant over hurting his knee.
And being a monster I got away with it cos monsters are allowed to do stuff like that.
Revenge is sweet.
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Fri 12 Nov 2004, 15:39, Reply)

Team America : World Police
My beloved and I went to Paris last January for my 40th birthday. She spent a lot of the time photographing Parisian buildings for a commission she'd had from Paramount Pictures. They had told her it was for the backdrop to a 'marionette film'. I tagged along with her and just for fun posed unobtrusively in many of her photos. (aside - it is amazing how if you set your camera equipment up in front of any old building how many tourists themselves start taking snaps of the building. They must assume it is famous or something). Anyway, we found out last month that the 'marionette film' was in fact 'Team America: World Police' by the South Park people, which is doing well at the box-office in the US at the moment. We've only seen clips, but sure enough, you can make out me (very small) standing by the photographed buildings in the background.
(serenissima is the most serene. And don't frigging forget it!, Fri 12 Nov 2004, 10:14, Reply)

When I was
on work experience at the home of the cutting edge rag that is "The Grimsby Evening Telegraph", I turned up at the press conference that Alan Buckley was going to use to announce he was leaving Grimsby Town FC. I, being a lazy 17 year old and being high on some dirty weed (its the only way to survive in Grimsby), had heard there was going to be a wizzo buffet and looked forward to banishing the munchies. On the buffet they had some HUGE sausage rolls. In my Mary-Jane clouded mind I thought it would make the reporter laugh if I tried to deep throat one of the said sausages taken out of the pastry, which I duly did and started to wave at the reporter wildly. He didnt pay me much attention, so I let it drop and continued on my way to a state of freeganism.

When I got home that night to watch Look North (with Judith and Alan) I saw Alan Buckley saying how much he was going to miss Town. In the background I saw me, enthusiastically sucking off the sausage and waving at the reporter who was off screen.


My last year in sixth form was fuffing haggard, let me tell you.
( Beejay Proper old bastard, Fri 12 Nov 2004, 8:56, Reply)

Look Ma, I'm on the TV
I was informed that a local (if you consider the whole of Southern California in any way local) weather report would be broadcasted from outside the student apartments here at the university, I decided to look as stupid as possible in the background.

This was accomplished by holding a giant "I HEART WEATHER" sign and shouting "WOO! YAY!" while the weatherman tried to warn of the dangers of light rain.

I got a travel mug for my enthusiasm.
(kitsune, Fri 12 Nov 2004, 0:24, Reply)

Im not famous
but I have ruined s-club 7's crappy tv show once by shouting 'oi cunt you aint no ghetto child' at the one who thinks hes gangster in the middle of filming. cunt
(lifelikeandposeable, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 20:27, Reply)

Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned.
My mate got us some tickets to go and see the aforementioned show as part of the audience when it was broadcast live on the telly. I agreed heartily, as I had never been to a TV studio before despite never having seen the first 'episode' that was broadcast the night before or having any idea what it was about.

We get to the studios, and we rapidly consumed our two-free-beers allowance that the studio judge as 'enough to make you giggle', 'not enough for you to have to leave a live show for a piss'. That's my theory anyway.

It is at this point that somebody outlines the premise of the show for me: it is unscripted audience participation. Baddeil and Skinner just pick you out of the audience and start talking to you on live telly - and you are supposed to come up with questions for them to answer.

Paranoia crept in. I sorely wanted to have an aisle seat. And at least ten people to the left and right of me. The front row was out of the question too. Panic. Panic. We were led to the seats. I started to relax when we were seated halfway up, and right in the middle.

Anyway the show kicked off, it was jolly good fun. You could see what was airing cos there was a fecking masssive screen above the stage show displaying what the camera-man was pointing at.

All of a sudden my face was plastered over that screen. I felt my face go red. My heart stopped. I could feel spasms in my arse.

But luckily the camera was pointing at some twat in front of me because he had a stupid mullet. Cunt.
(freshtonic, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 19:45, Reply)

almost (famously) eaten
i am in about 12 frames of "jaws 2" (which was mostly filmed in my hometown) my older brother heard that the production crew was paying extras $50 to scream and run out of the water. since there was a jellyfish swarm at the time- it was'nt terribly difficult...call it method acting. anyway...i am one of the little blonde haired kids.
( acghost, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 18:00, Reply)

The Zapruder film, 2nd from left on small grassy hill thingy.
( fishsticks, Thu 11 Nov 2004, 12:09, Reply)

Bob Hood - prince of wossnames
Tenuous but cute, My family have a busness breeding Scotish Deerhounds. Big stupid grey hairy things, movmemnts very similar to the mystics from Dark Crystal, perfect for big castles and that. Which is why three of em were hired form 'Robin Hood prince of thieves'. The scene where a young child is chased down the hill. Took forever as the director wanted 'more mean' as they looked like they were arsed off , well they were and kept looking at the camera as the camera man was eating a sarnie. Bless em. They also shat on set and a makeup girl had to clean it up (luckily a type1 rather firm) - kevin costner got his crotch sniffed as well after they got a sacer of whiskey (they love it!) . My dogs the oliver reed of the canine thesps!
(1st team orc, Thu 18 Nov 2004, 10:02, Reply)

I work in a pharmacy
and the local paper came to take a picture of the pharmacist at the medicines counter to promote some new scheme. Well I had noticed that if you strataegically place a price sticker over half of the second 'D' on a box of anadin extra tablets, it would say 'ANAL EXTRA'. So I did this and put it on the shlef behind the boss , and you could see it in the paper article. Not sure if anyone noticed. Not strictly me in the background I know, but it mad me laugh
(dr-kill, Thu 18 Nov 2004, 0:21, Reply)

Oo! Oo! Another 'Not Connected'
Hey Sam! I saw Steve Pemberton (Tubbs, from the League Of Gentlemens 'Local Shop') wandering around Malaga airport with his two extremely noisy kids. He gave me a dirty look when I said: "What's all this noise? We'll have no shouting here!"
(SproutsAreEvil, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 17:35, Reply)