My mum
Some people collect films.
Some people collect series of films.
Some people even collect genres of film.
Not my Mum.
She collects fucking actors.
So we have a shelf full of videos.
Jean-Claude Van Damme and Stephen Seagal videos.


Oh the shame.
(littlenipple hate's bad grammar, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 21:17, Reply)

Pizza boxes
January 2003 at uni in Northampton. We started stacking discarded pizza boxes in the corner of the room because we couldn't be bothered to throw them away. Us five lads estimated that it would take about 40 boxes stacked on top of one another to reach the celing, and casually decided we could reach the target by June.

We reached the ceiling three times over by March!
(davefromkent, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 20:12, Reply)

dog egg
Belts.... and lots of them, i dont know why - but i cant by a t-shirt with out a belt to match. they're nearly all fabric belts but ive got about 50-60 belts now.

does that class as a fetish?
(nikwood28, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 20:06, Reply)

krh
aerhtarthnjmtkyukt
(abignumber, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 19:56, Reply)

bar postcards!
I collect them too, although I don't take more than one of each.Them and flyers cause I think they are quite important in terms of the amount of work and artistic talent that goes into them.
I did have a cool display of them on the wall but I've not put it back up since I moved.
I collect these more for an art reason than anything else though.
(kaedesmith, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 19:50, Reply)

I collect crap MS Paint doodles
and post them on the boards. Alot. Just look at me profile.

Bag of arse.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 19:20, Reply)

god
beanie babies, I have about 80 somewhere. I even bought one for £40. Yes, a little small teddy filled with beans, for £40.

I was a stupid child.
(lei, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 19:02, Reply)

batteries, train tickets, stickers, toys.....the list goes on.
i collect batteries.
i have no idea why. i just dont throw them away. i have piles of shoe boxes full of them, all neatly sorted into brands.

another thing i collect is train tickest. that i KNOW why. when i was younger my dad went to london like nearly every week, and thought i might like the train tickets to play with (...i didnt actually PLAY with them, just horded them...). ive got them all in chronological order and types, and companies and really, i have about 8 or 9 years worth of two train tickets a week. thats a helluva lot of tickets.

and i collect stickers. i have books and books of stickers that have been given to me over the years by relatives and friends. i went to germany and got exTREMley excited about the fact that there are stickers everywhere, and collected german stickers. im just THAT sad.

and beanie babies. anyone remember them?? they take up alot of room in the basement. moulding from lack of airing. its distgusting really.
(hextatic, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 18:20, Reply)

Shoes.
Yes, lots and lots of shoes. I was forced to throw out about 6pairs the other week, leaving me with ONLY 25 pairs to wear!

To clarify, I'm male and strictly heterosexual.
(A Good Egg, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 17:58, Reply)

hats
it seem's that i collect hats, non intentionall and intentionally. Hat's just seem to find me.

i admit it, i am a hat person since mid-teens, regulary going through a few baseball hats (cos things wear out double quick on me).

I have a FCUK violence hat (bought for £5 for an FCUK sale) obviously in black.

a knock off fake Von Dutch hat from hong kong for around £2.

fleece hat with cat ears (mmm cat girls mmm) off ebay,

H&M flat top style hat, black.

H&M black cotton beanie.

now here's the interesting part (to me anyways)

Hats that i've found....

a one woven hat found on the floor one day on a walk.

a one german military officers hat found after an all nighter after a club called krazyhouse, so found on the streets around 7am

a crappy green elf hat found erm i think at a mood.

a pink plastic cow boy hat donated by my older brother.

and recently a top hat! Grey (planning on making it black) from a charity shop for a mear £10! golly golly

i've had a few other hats that i've not kept that i've somehow aqquired, that being a builders hard hat, plastic army helmet and the likes.

i like my hats

they make me look spehscial
( schizophrenic_sheep, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 17:47, Reply)

My forgotten compulsion.
I completely forgot about this as it's become more of a habit than a collection. Since college whenever I go to the cinema or into a bar that has the racks of free postcards I'll go and have a browse and pick up some of the ones that I find most amusing or nice to look at. In itself this isn't strange - That's what the bloomin' things are there for after all.

What is strange is the fact I can't just leave with one, I have to take at least 3 of the blighters and will take more if I really like the design. I think that my original reason for taking a few was to have one to put on display, one to send to a friend and one to keep for posterity.

As a result I have 2 shoeboxes full of postcards, most of which I've never sent to anyone or used to decorate anything. Mightly pointless, but in a strange way it's comforting to have them there.


Second post this week. I find that two medium sized ones are more satisfying that one lengthy one
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 17:43, Reply)

Hmmmmmmm... Nescafe

As a kid, my brother once tried collecting his farts. He approached the whole business quite scientifically; for a maladjusted sinister little bastard.

He secreted an old Nescafe jar into the bathroom and filled it to the brim with water. Every time he needed a trumpetation in the bath, he'd submerge the jar upside down, unscrew the top, push it next to his fun junction, and let rip. Once the cloud of goodness was trapped, he'd re-screw the air-tight lid underwater and replace the jar on the bathroom shelf. Voila. One trapped "genie in a bottle".

He continued with this for a number of weeks; slowly but surely replacing the water with gut gas. Until one unfortunate afternoon: 'Black Sunday' as I like to call it. My mum, wondering what an empty coffee jar was doing in the bathroom, removed the lid and got a face full of what she must have thought was the very breath of Satan. Imagine, if you will, the scene in Indiana Jones when the Nazis open the Ark of the Covenant.

One severely beaten arse later, and with the “how respectable young men should behave” lecture still ringing in his ears, my brother decided that the world of guff collecting was not for him.
(geegee, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 17:00, Reply)

I'm
I'm collecting restraining orders - I've got a hatful already, they're not nearly as effetive as you think.

If you hide in the bushes, then you're not there are you :-)

**Sproing**
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 17:00, Reply)

Collecting rachelswipe
Well, I've collected her a few times but she just keeps getting away dammit!

Just goes to show that restraining orders don't work.

**Bulge**
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:59, Reply)

Sorry about the 'list' feel...
- Full collection of Thunderbirds on VHS (original marionettes, none of your live action film malarkey). Why did I think of this first?
- Probably about 2,000 CDs, and when it's out of boxes, I most likely will set aside an entire sunny weekend to arranging it all by artist then release date. Maybe by packaging too. Darned special releases won't fit in the shelves.
- DVDs are getting scary now, too.
- Books. Oh. My. God. They don't fit on two of these (the BIG 5x5 ones, in beech incidentally). When we moved house we nearly broke the leaf suspension on a Luton box van - it went 'bang' on a corner 8o/
- Papers. I know it's useful to have it all but the temptation to construct a ceremonial funeral pyre is very attractive.
- Two Amstrad PC1512's - yes! And then again, no...
- The crowning glory: a comprehensive collection of model railway ephemera, in 00 gauge (1:76 scale), covering the British steam and diesel eras, by Hornby, Bachmann and Lima. Layout (broken) on 8'x4' of 3/4" MDF (my Dad's mistake), not yet moved from the attic of my Mum's long-term but ex (for five years) partner, who luckily is a friendly guy!

Big up for the Fat Controller! Poop! Poop!

EDIT (sorry): I do it because I havewant to. So there ;o)
(Good old boy just like yer grandma!, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:56, Reply)

um
i'm collecting bus lane fines from lambeth council at the moment, i flatly refuse to pay to drive in a buslane at 2am when the road is empty.....

EDIT - whose good authority?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:54, Reply)

Collecting rachelswipe
I have it on good authority that she's a very slippery (and fragrant) customer...

Meh.

[Edit] Very good authority indeed... (insert breathy and tremulous sound here)
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:47, Reply)

I collect
I collect frankspencer stories for the literaturative values - I've tried clicking ignore, but they just won't go dammit!

And I've already collected rachelswipe, she's in the back of my van **rubs hands with glee**

Heheheheheheh

Length, I'll show ya - I will - hahahahahahaha
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:43, Reply)

Chinese money
I collect Chinese bank notes (RMB) - one of each denomination and make a point of acquiring the latest designs whenever I'm in China. Not sure why though 'cos they're worth nothing over here. Perhaps I'm taken with Chairman Mao, who looks like a sweet innocent cherub (who killed millions of people).
(spook, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:40, Reply)

Limited Editions
I collect children's books, but only limited editions. You may not know this, but writers often produce special versions of their books for a very short print run. I have a number of these, including:

The Famous Five are Crucified - Enid Blyton
Missus Tiggywinkle Has Her Arse Ravaged - Beatrix Potter
Charlie and the Chocolate Tunnel - Roald Dahl
The Secret Seven Shout 'Sieg Heil!" - Enid Blyton
The Cat in the Blender - Dr Seuss
Muthafuka on Crack - Roald Dahl
I'm Gonna Suck Yo Dick - Enid Blyton

I offer an excerpt from the latter:

Peter and Jane were sitting on the river bank and watching the ducks float by. It was such a jolly gay day and the sun was shining and everything was simply spiffing.

"Oh, look! I've got an enormous erection," said Peter.
"What's that," asked Jane, who had never seen a raging boner.
"It's here in my pants," he replied, unleashing the fleshly club from his shorts.
"Why, it's huge! May I touch it?" enquired Jane.
"Of course. Hold it like this and move your hand up and down ... uh-huh, yeaaah, that's good ... work it Jane .. work that cock, you fine ho!"
"You're speaking funny, Peter. Are you alright?"
"Oh, er .. yes. I was quoting Shakespeare - Othello. Put it in your mouth."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. It tastes good ... urg, yeah! ... Suckle that bulb, yeaaah ... don't stop ..."
"Peter? What happens if ... OH - MY EYES!"
"Jane - you're such an amateur."

The book was banned even before going to print, but I have Blyton's proof copy with her own ink sketches. Pretty hot stuff, I tell you.
(frankspencer, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:35, Reply)

I collect
rachelswipe stories. they frequently make the QOTW for me.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:17, Reply)

Porn Mags..
Before the advent of the 'net at my school (private boarding school) (read "on the stage" to get the picture) all the lads required pron mags.

These posh kids would regularly fail to pluck up courage to go into town to the one newsagents and pick up a copy of thier favourite art pamphlet.

I however wasn't a bashful kid.. and went in there and picked up a copy of Men's World, Club and Mayfair (considered to be the best at the time)... and it started me with an Idea.

The house we lived in had around 60 kids... ranging from 13 to 18, and there was no organised porn system: This clearly had to change. Enter Humpty and the porn library.

I'd buy fresh porn monthly and keep the library well stocked. There was a rental fee of 2 quid, and a return bonus of 1 quid. This ensured good and cheap stock rotation for the lads in the house, and as 40 of us had our own rooms there was plenty of alone-time to ensure the quid wasn't wasted.

One magazine returned in poor condition (stuck together) was held up at the evening meal and the perpertrator was labelled (I nearly wrote "fingered" then... ) and ridiculed. Stock from then on was returned in the best possible condition.

"First loan" on new material was 4 quid, with a return fee of 2 quid... thus giving me a slight profit if someone decided to keep it for good.

The profit was enough to give me a decent flow of good bike parts... and to allow me to march into the newsagents on each month and pick up a -by then- "standing order" of 14 spank-mags. I remeber the new lass being taken a-back when I - a 16 yearold lad - came walking in to buy a 50 quid bundle of porn one day... excellent...

Anyhow... I digress.

I returned home from school one summer holiday, to find that my mum had found the front cover of an old "Fiesta" under my mattress. Oh the Shame. But it gets worse: she'd put it in a little freezer-bag, along with a post-it note with "Sweet Dreams ;o)" written on it under my pillow.

My mum though I was whacking off to a COVER of FIESTA!!! The indignation burned from within... I had to set the record straight. I may bave been 17, But I had pride.

The next morning I produced a Stack of 4 box-files. This repressented 2 year's worth of "Club" and "Men Only".
"Look mum... You found a fiesta cover from YEARS ago... *This* is about a third of what's stored at school... and represents the higher-earning end of my little business.

My mum - bless her cotton socks - after nearly choking on her cornflakes, flipped through a copy of each and said that Club seemed better Quality...

My Dad... well.. He grinned like a wanking Jap and winked. I didnt' bat an eyelid when one of the boxfiles finally made a mysterious retun to my room a day before I went back to school... I did however nearly hurl when I noticed that the bottom 4 Clubs had been replaced with copies of Razzle.

Razzle Reader's Wives... dear God... There's just no need for it.

Length? yeah.. well I've been pulling on it a lot you see...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:08, Reply)

I completely forgot!
To post about my beercan & booze bottle collection during my days at uni.

During the first year of uni, I used to collect beer cans with my flatmate, and they were neatly stacked in one corner of my room. At one point, I had around 350 0.33l cans, and I was actually going to build a beer wall along one of my walls.

Well, that was the plan, anyway.

So after a while, I was going to have new carpeting in my room. Couldn't be bothered to take all the cans out, and then all the cans back in, so after a few trips to the trash containers, they were all gone. Felt a bit empty without them, really.

Also, over the four years in Uni, me and my flatmate had collected a bunch of really nice booze bottles. When moving out, we had to clean out the appartment, so the bottles had to go. Some of them had a bit of booze left, including a bottle of Martini Extra Dry, which nobody drank as it tasted foul and smelled like Pino Silvestre..

I also collected bus tickets. I had told my group at uni that I collect bus tickets. After a few years, I had a large box full of them. They too went in the bin when I moved out.
(zeroSignal, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 15:09, Reply)

Artists
I was sharking this glorious artist: sculpture, paint and photographic, then she showed me her collection, housed in a little chest of drawers she'd made: body hair from the past 10yrs....I was ok with the pubic section but began to balk at nostril, ear and butt crack.
finally ran away at the moustache show...met her 3 yrs later and she'd turned T&G (tongue and groove) with an equally hirsute diver of the muff.

(astounded by the length-what choice did she have but to be dissapointed thereafter and turn to another woman for solace, hair clippers &depilation)
(mickturate if i could be arsed i'd be bored, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 15:05, Reply)

I have a massive collection of cold cups of tea
everytime i have a wank with my headphones on I seem to get another one!

I now have no space left on my bedroom cabinet and some of the earlier ones are starting to smell of mould.

I'll stop when I get to 100
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 15:03, Reply)

FlatteredBaps
You remind me of the time I was stationed in Cornwall. Shreddies ( er! Underwear) disappeared from the various drying rooms in the camp. A few weeks later, they all re-appeared, in the NAAFI all neatly stitched in a long streamer.

It seems that the female contingent of the station were having a laugh at the male contingent's expense.

The powers that be only expected us to reclaim them from a large cardboard box. Bugger that, mine were replace with newuns the previous week!

As for me - well, I am a bit of a hoarder and just about anything is fair game for collection - within reason 'course! :)
(AsADie, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 14:56, Reply)

Hmm
I guess I collect 2 things...

Firstly a massive collection of music, ranging from cheesy pop, to country and wester, to trance and the heaviest dirtiest techno. Strange collection I know, but "you never know when you might need it"!

Secondly I collect champagne bottle corks with 50 pence pieces wedged in them. Always from a special occasion, like a birthday, christmas or other celebration. I have about 10 of these at the moment, not masses but enough considering :-)
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 14:35, Reply)

Have also realised my pron is a collection....
Have just counted them all up and I have more than 1700 pron magazines, most of them unopened. I dont know if this makes me a pron fiend or not as only 50 or so I have `read`. Mostly imported foreign filth, private, pirate etc and some ladyboy stuff that must have been bought by accident, or drunk, or some other way?....
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 14:04, Reply)

Yay me
For some reason I have a small fascination with things that plug in. So I collect things that use USB.

So far I have the usual: cables, hubs, flash drives, card readers, ect that I use (happily) but I also recently got given a little snowman, fibre optic chrissy tree and a the dinkiest little flower fan. =D

I now have my eye on a shiney new hub that wont fuck up the computer and die when I'm trying to put stuff on my flash drive. It's blue.

I also suppose you could say that I also collect pretty pants and socks. Like a very good sock salesman or the Price of Wales, I never seem to have any.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 13:27, Reply)