I'm an engineer, ffs. Of course I'm nerdy.
A friend of mine and I were out the other night to celebrate me getting a new job (Woo yay houplah!) and we ended up meeting at the most convenient place- Hooters. (Also because he really likes to daydream about the waitresses, of course.) He told me of a girl he knows who's thinking of applying to work there, but he says she's too smart to do the job and wouldn't fit in well- "I mean, the other night she made a Caligula joke! Most of the waitresses here couldn't find Rome on a map!"

I did my best Valley Girl impression. "Of course I know where Rome is- if I drive too far out of the city, my cell phone says I'm there!"

Then I did a double take. "Hey, that proves it- all roads to lead to Roam!"

We had to leave after that.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 14:09, 9 replies)

I just had a flash-back
To the days of GCSE Exams.
I had one of those digital watches that you could store phone numbers in.

Yes... I cheated GCSE history by programming dates into it.

*shame*
( Cawl, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 14:07, Reply)

Took me 11 months

( Weetobix, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 14:06, 18 replies)

I bought a...
Wi-Fi Detecting T-Shirt

www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/991e/zoom/

and I actualy plan to wear it! God save (or kill) me now
( Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 14:04, 3 replies)

I see it's confession time.
I'm a scientist therefore nerdiness is in my job description. However, I have taken it too far. I can recite the periodic table. I can recall our NMR machine's operating frequency to as many digits as my pocket calculator can take and I secretly find that joke about the hydrogen atom losing its electron hilariating!

Also, when I got published for the first time last year, I printed out a copy, signed it and sent it to my brother for his Birthday.

Do I win?
( Raindance Work is inversely proportional to post-count, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:58, 1 reply)

Programmable Calculator
I did A-Level Maths, a subject that required I own a programmable graphical calculator. Before owning this the only computing experience I had was typing out BASIC programs from my Spectrum 48K user manual and fetching my parents to watch the onscreen formation of different-coloured circles accompanied by atonal beeps.

I read the manual of my calculator and got the basics for the programming functions. I then set about creating my own game. It was one of those really simple 'Think of a number' jobs, using the random number function and telling you whether your guess was high or low, giving you six or so tries to get the right one. The day after I made it, I took it into school and showed all my mates, thinking they'd be well impressed. Obviously, I was rather disappointed. They treated me as some sort of nerdish pariah, even after I added swear-word-infused insults to the program whenever you got a wrong guess.

I never did learn to program anything, so I guess I could be more nerdy. On the other hand, ten years on, last year, I was working as a temp for a company that didn't really need me, and I spent lots of time doing nothing. The Internet was blocked, so I spent an afternoon creating a version of the numbers game from Countdown in Microsoft Excel, and played that for about a month. I also tried to make Yahtzee, but it was shite.
(Fuiru Sting, where is thy death?, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:51, 1 reply)

I never thought of myself as geeky
But maybe I am.
Looking through a lot of these posts people are listing their games consoles as geek possessions. I can't stand the bloody things! Keyboard and mouse are ten times better than a 'joy'pad. That said, we have an x-box 360 in the living room. It plays a vital role in place of the PC we had there so I can watch tv shows and movies from the server.
I also dislike throwing away perfectly good PCs, so at one point I had about 11 PCs in various states of repair and I was desperately trying to think of a use for all of them. Still got one behind the bar to use as a touch screen jukebox.

Length? About three feet stacked up.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:50, Reply)

final fantasy
I started with final fantasy seven at the age of fifteen. I know own all of them over various platforms and when a new one comes out. I dont go out until its done. I have missed 18th and 21st birthdays because of this game and have also lost a girl friend. But i dont care its like playing a book!

I also have unhealthy thoughts about Vincent Valentine and Im not even gay!

Just writing this has made me want to go home and start playing on 12 again. Im so saaaaaddd
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:49, 3 replies)

Biker Mice from Mars
As a child I once took a week off school just to play Biker Mice from Mars on the SNES. That and having every Bucky O Hare related toy ever released may have been the reason I had to change schools.
I'm better now though.
(ollclay, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:49, 2 replies)

I play boardgames
And not the typical ones like monopoly or cluedo I'm talking about El Grande, carcassone, roborally, web of power etc. My cupboard is stuffed with them. I even have a little regular group of friends to play them with too.

I avoid telling anybody if possible.
( Smithlick is often seen at the bottom of threads, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:48, 3 replies)

B3ta is not nerdy
and I know this because I spent five years of my life on a folk music forum. Actually, I still drop by there from time to time. I met them in real life n'everything. Some of them became good friends. Some of them were... odd.

Now history repeats itself as history is wont to do and I attended my first b3ta bash last night. (All of them were lovely and none of them were... odd.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:46, 4 replies)

Vagina
At school I was one of those people that always shot their hand up to answer questions.

We had an assembly for the whole school when a nurse came in to teach us about sex.

She asked us all "now who can tell me what a girl's genitals are called?"

What to do, what to do, I knew this....
Everyone else was frozen silent in their seats...

"Anyone? Nobody knows, no...."

I couldn't help myself. "VAGINA???" I yelled.

That became my name for the next couple of years. In fact I've been called variations on that theme ever since.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:44, Reply)

Erm, OK.
I've organised a sci-fi convention.

I think that's enough, yes?

Edit: Twice, actually.
(julius, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:43, 3 replies)

Where do I start?
The better half and I have oodles of nerdiness between us, but its not always a good thing. A few of the classics are:

- Going to an alphabet themed fancy dress party, we got the letter K. Since I now work in finance I wore a suit and had 3 'K's stuck on the back, to signify that I was a stock with no voting rights on the NASDAQ. Yes, you guessed it, it totally bypassed me that KKK could mean something differently. The birthday girl had to ask me to remove my blazer as I was making people uncomfortable. The boyfried went as a potassium flame, dressed all in purple with a homemade purple crepe head-dress and purple face paint. He got asked if he was a flaming blueberry all night.

- Once I was at a noisy pub and I was about to head back for dinner. I texted boyfriend asking what he wanted for dinner. The reply? 3.1415. My reply? Chicken or Steak and Ale?

- When we were going to buy a car, boyfriend decided that the most efficient way was to construct a spreadsheet and insert parameters to come up with various criteria that would make it easier in deciding what car to buy. So, first off there was the horse power, then the estimation of the distance travelled in a year, followed by an approximation of wear and tear plus insurance costs, then multiplied by a factor of inflation in oil prices, finally weighed with the process of Swiss MOT and how quickly it could be done in the time frame allocated, he had a choice on the website of approximately 2,325 cars to choose from. We ended up buying an Audi because it was the only one in silver in our price range.

- Boyfriend used to have an innane habit of reeling off potential bus routes in London and numbers whenever we met someone who was just going somewhere, or friends we'd met up with who'd just come from somewhere.

Actually, I think boyfriend might have more stories about nerdiness than me, but then he's not writing this post so I'll keep mine hidden a bit longer.

EDIT: Length? Pi goes on and on...
(Marmoset Bored bored bored of cnuting revision..., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:43, 2 replies)

I know Pi
Up to 3.1415926536

I am almost certain that plenty of people on here will be able to beat that without googling it.

Go!

Edit: Also, 0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:42, 11 replies)

My Geek Credentials
I posted this on "ideas for question of the week" last week (expanded slightly)


I have never gone to a games workshop and i cant speak klingon.

What i did do though is recreate those scenes from war films when they disassemble and reasemble their guns against the the clock.

Except i used a computer.
which had cold cathodes and a side window.
And an ultraviolet alien face on the other side.
And more fans than could possibly be needed.
And they had LEDs.
And it played the Xfiles theme on start up.
And had Gillian Anderson Wall Paper.

And when I got good I would race against my friend.

The things is - im in my late 20s
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:41, Reply)

I are teh winner
Well, for one, the greatest triumph of recent months was hooking my Xbox 360 and double-monitor PC up through the same home network, with a program on the 'puter to convert any and all media files on the fly to the Xbox's awkward WMV/WMA DRM-waving formats, then controlling it all via my colour-changing Chameleon remote control.

Or, the other day, meeting a stunning girl, who came over for a visit, and spending the time raving about Transformers on HD-DVD (which, thank feck, she was as into as I was. Who knew?)

Oh, and shedding a small tear when Blu-Ray stamped the frail life out of a dying HD-DVD and swearing to leave the player to rest with my Minidisk player.

God rest them both.

Oh, I also own books about the making of the Doom games (IDDQD, IDDKFA etc) and I have a print of the cover of an obscure Warhammer 40K book framed on my wall. And a chaos star tattoo...

Oh, I've had over 60 different mobile phones in my time. I can list them all. I also know pretty much everything about mobile phone operating systems, data protocols and the wireless networks.

Oh, and I have pet scorpions. And a snake. And I have a pair of ornamental Stargate mugs in the shapes of Horus and Anubis.

Oh, and I hunted eBay until I found a model of Minas Tirith for sale. And I'm going to make a Witch King of Angmar helm out of steel. I've made three scaled down models from paper, card and plastic.

Oh, and I'm known as Wikipedia by my friends because I apparently (so not true) know everything. Although I do browse wikipedia at lunch for fun. Did you know that the top Ace in WWI was....and so on.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:41, 6 replies)

*comedy answer along the lines of 'this is b3ta, of course we're nerds ho ho ho'*
- I once played WoW for 26 hours solid.
- I own a WoW t-shirt.
- I write reviews for Gamestyle (the UK's longest-running indie game website), and am also a moderator on the messageboards.
- I own a Japanese SNES and a PS2 modded to play NTSC games so I can play imports.
- I learn html and php just because I think it's fun.
- I own action figures, and lots of dragon figurines.
- I am obsessed with the Devil May Cry games and own the t-shirt, hat, soundtrack CDs, DVDs, memorial album, graphic file, manga, anime, novels and comics. I don't even like most manga and anime.
- I read George R R Martin.
- I use Linux at home (out of choice, as opposed to needing it for work), and am actually excited about the release of Ubuntu Hardy.
- I own a Linux t-shirt.
- I got WoW running under WINE.
- I have over 7gb of videogame music.
- I have over 100 videogames.
- I have met the creator of Rayman.
- I collect, and play with, out of print Fighting Fantasy books.
- I own a NeGcon and an Onimusha Soul controller.
- I still use IRC.
- I bought a PS3 on release day.
- My PSP has a custom faceplate.
- I own about 300 music CDs.
- I have a subscription to New Scientist.
- I made myself a Soul Reaver t-shirt. (I had to give it to my bro because I didn't forsee that my boobs would distort the design so much.)
- I have read all the Discworld books. I don't consider that nerdy, but as some other people have mentioned them I thought I would too.

In my defence, I have never seen any Star Wars, and LotR bores the everloving fuck out of me. I went along to my uni's tabletop RPG club but was a bit intimidated by it all. I do have some d20s just because they're purdy, though.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:40, 3 replies)

Let’s examine the evidence…

Star Trek – Check. Original and Next Gen only (to the degree that I have written my own lyrics to sing over the theme tune). Additional: Isn’t ‘Krish Krush’ how you say ‘Goodbye’ in Klingon?...or did I get that from watching Frasier?...Which reminds me…
Frasier – Check.
LOTR - Check
Monty Python – Check (Even some of the German ones)
Blackadder – All 4 – every line - Check
Red Dwarf – Check
Star Wars - to the point of knowing the script to all six, owning the holiday special, the Clone Wars cartoons and the Muppets Star Wars special. I know the name of virtually every character whether they had a speaking part or not – own a huge SW collection and every game etc. I also had my honeymoon 4 months before my actual wedding so that I could go to New York and watch the premiere of Episode 1 – In other words - Check
Glasses – used to have big thick NHS ones until the laser surgery. Check
PC Geek – from a kid with a BBC micro who spent his school breaktimes on the school PCs, the the IT twunt I am now with a house full of useless components – Check
Fighting Fantasy books where it says ‘If you want to run to mummy, go to page 17, however if you want to cut the Slashertroll’s bollocks off, go to page 24 – Check (this was when I was a kid though - and in my defence I would've gone to page 24)
Consoles – I have a PS2, NDS, 2 XBOX 360s and a Wii and have hacked them all. Not because I’m nerdy, but because I’m tightarsed and because I can. I don’t actually play on any of them though (I don’t have time) – but check.
Classical Music – Check
Heavy Metal – Check
Cheesy Pop – Check
Weird Al Yankovic - Check
World Of Warcraft – I fight the urge to play it because I know it will take over my life. I’ve seen what it has done to some of my friends. Uncheck
Terry Pratchett – Check
Q.I. - Seen every episode a multitude of times – Check
Ridiculous gadget monkey – Check
Ringtones – My PDA has different ringtones for different people but they Include SW Imperial march, SW cantina song, Voodoo Chile, Theme from Benny Hill,Shaft, Hong Kong Phooey (for Captain Placid), theme from ‘Man About the House’, 'Magic Roundabout' and ‘Are You Being Served?’, Spanish Flea, and personalised ringtones I set up myself using a speech synthesiser. Check.
Using waaaaaay too many acronyms and abbreviations in conversation - Check
Being a hardcore B3tard who wishes he could use Photoshop better- Guilty as charged

I even went trainspotting once – not in the movie ‘let’s all take heroin’ way. Oh no. REAL trainspotting. It was only once – I quickly realised that even for me that was a shite pastime (although the person I was with looked like he wanted to crack one off every time a model 50 trundled by).

I used to write poetry – fortunately that later evolved into song lyrics which made it slightly cooler.

I relate almost every comparison to ‘VHS versus Betamax’ for some reason…”Oh, Bluray vs HDDVD? That’s just like VHS vs Betamax”, and “Heinz baked beans vs Tesco value? – That’s just like VHS vs Betamax”

Overall, I am an overly sensitive, socially inept, pasty-faced monomaniac, desperately lacking in self confidence with all the personality of a cheese grater. I also always have a cold.

Actually, as I check the list above, I’m surprised I‘m not still a virgin. Fortunately, I manage to keep all the above traits simmering below the surface and can pass myself off as a normal human being most of the time.

And thankfully I’ve got a massive cock.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:35, 9 replies)

I know the entire script of Predator
off by heart. Even Mac's incomprehensible ranting.

My CD and DVD collections are both arranged alphabetically.

I also own a remote controlled Dalek.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:34, 9 replies)

Once in Royal David's City
I used to be in the church choir. I never got bummed by a priest though - I was church of england so it was the vicar.

Anyway when I was about 12 I was selected to sing a solo on Christmas evening in Guildford cathedral - Once in Royal David's City. The place was pretty packed.

I started OK, bathed in candlelight, my young voice cutting through the emotional atmosphere. I must have looked quite angelic. But there's a bit halfway through where it goes quite high "Mary was, that mother mild.."

Instead of singing "Mary" I kind of shrieked it, and promptly puked down my cassock. I then did the manly thing and cried for the next hour and a half.

"I thought you did very well", my mum said.

TWELVE!! FFS people that age are fighting wars in the congo.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:33, 1 reply)

Cheats!
Options menu... type in

AABBCCCCBBAAAABBCC

For extra treats!

... from Cool Spot for the mega drive. Not played it in 10 years and that cheat is still etched in my brain.
(wicks, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:28, 3 replies)

Books, books, books and Star Trek
I almost love them as much as my son and i got very annoyed at the suggestion the shelves could go in the bedroom, how would i be able to look upon them if they are not in the living room? The shelves went in first and everything got arranged around them. They have to be in author order (alphabetical), within that they have to be in published order unless there is a different reading order then they go in that. I collect them all and have to get all the books by an author i'm reading. They're mostly sci-fi/fantasy so at least i don't have to worry about genre too. Tho the few classics i have are places together in alphabetical author order.

I organise all my videos by film company cos they put the little logos in the same place. There are rows of them that just follow on. I get slightly uncomfortable when they're not in order.

My sons books are in strictly height order, as are my uni books.

This wouldn't be such a problem if i left all this at home, but i do it in the lab too, with bottles of chemicals (which have to be in alphabetical and then height/size order).

I own and love a slightly larger than lifesize Jean-Luc Picard cut out. He lives in my living room next to the entire set of Next gen, and i really really want a three level chess set and a model of the enterprise.

On reflection, perhaps not so nerdy but a little obsessive. I am not surprised to be single.
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:23, 1 reply)

SABOTAGE!
Nerds are a form of candy currently sold by Nestlé under their Willy Wonka Candy Company brand.

Introduced in 1983, Nerds are small sweets that come in a variety of abstract shapes and flavors, (which are usually circle-like, or ovals) and are usually sold in a box that has two separate flavors, each with a separate opening device. Nerds are anthropomorphized on the cover of its distinctive box package. The separation of two distinct flavors in one commodity has generated success for Nerds, likely because consumers can control their experiences. A Nerds breakfast cereal based on this concept appeared in the 1980s, but had a short life. Nerds were introduced before 1983 by a man named Petronilo Hernandez who worked at the factory making jawbreakers and various other candies, when he decided to use the remainings of the candy pieces and coat them with a sweet flavor, and later put them up for sale. This was tested, and was a success.

Nerds are of varied flavors and varied colors, ranging from extremely sweet to extremely sour; often the two flavors in one box will contrast, and a single flavor may even exhibit both extremes. They are thickly glazed with carnauba wax, which gives them a hard bite, and a gloss. The nucleus of each candy is composed of one or more complete sucrose crystals. These optically clear monoclinic crystals are about 0.2–1 mm in length and help define the irregular shape.

Sour Nerds have recently been produced. The first release contained the flavors Lightning Lemon and Amped Apple. The second released package featured Shocking Strawberry and Electric Blue. There are also 3 more varieties of flavors.

There are also several Nerds spin-off products by Willy Wonka:

Nerds Rope consists of a soft candy string with a variety of Nerds attached to the outside, and come in original, berry and tropical flavors. "As much fun to play with, as it is to eat, and vice versa".
Rainbow Nerds is a box of regular Nerds of multiple flavors, with no partition or any organization at all.
Jumbo Nerds is a box of regular Nerds of multiple flavors which are much larger than regular Nerds. The box depicts one jumbo nerd on a teeter-totter with several regular sized nerds trying to counter its weight.
Nerds Gum Balls are bubble gum balls filled with multiple flavors of Nerds on the inside.
Theme Nerds are sometimes manufactured seasonally for holidays such as Halloween or Valentine's day with names such as "Spooky Nerds". Flavors can include fruit punch, strawberry, and orange.
Nerds Cereal, a now discontinued breakfast cereal that, like the candy, featured 2 separated flavors to a box. The cereal came with a mail-in offer for a Nerds cereal bowl, which also could be divided in two.
Techno-Nerds, a lesser-well known variety, was composed of three compartments, green, blue, and multicolored.
Nerds Gum, which consisted of pieces that looked like regular Nerds, but were actually bubble gum. The box featured a Nerd floating away with a bubble gum bubble.
Dweebs, a now discontinued soft, chewy version of Nerds released mid-90s, that contained three separate flavors rather than only two. They were available only for a short time.
Neon Nerds were introduced in 1996.
Nerd Jelly Beans for Easter, they make jelly beans with a coating of carnauba wax, which makes it taste like the Nerds itself.
Throughout the 1980s several new flavors of Nerds were introduced from time to time; for example, "Hot and Cold" Nerds (cinnamon & peppermint flavored), Blueberry and Raspberry, and Lemon and Lime (Blueberry Nerds can still be found in large packages of Rainbow Nerds). One of the most unusual ways of introducing these new flavors to the market was with small, plastic "Nerd" figures/toys (about 2-3 inches in height), which were hollow and contained the candies within. The color of the figure corresponded to the flavor of the candy (also printed on the access cap on the bottom of the toy); it is uncertain how many flavors were produced in this manner, although Citrus Nerds were released through the toy premium. There are very few of the toy figures in existence today, and these would most likely be perceived as collector's items.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:21, 3 replies)

I watch Time Team.....
On demand!
(Batemonkey, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:15, Reply)

what's wrong?
Why is keeping cds (and vinyl)in alphabetical order considered nerdy, it means I can find the one I want to play?
(A colleague recently rearranged his cds by sleeve colour for a change does that count?)
My bro was into D&D for a bit but I was never impressed..I do have nearly all of Blakes 7 on video though I never watch it..(free to a good home if anyone would like)
The only game I have really played for a ridiculous amount of time is Dungeon Keeper ( I still have an old laptop running NT so I can play it now)...
..."Your creatures are attacking the enemy"
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:13, 2 replies)

From memory
U-U-D-D-L-R-L-R-B-A

Also, I own a "resurrect now? Accept?" T-Shirt.
(Rimfeast, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:12, 1 reply)

Star Wars fancy dress
I cringe with embarrassment.

End of the 90s my mates and I were very excited about The Phantom Menace (who'd have thought it would turn out so rubbish). So anyway we've purchased lightsabers that light up, make a buzzing noise and a cracking noise when you hit two of them together.

I think there was some fancy dress thing on somewhere - it's the only way I can excuse dressing up as Qui Gon Jinn. I already had the long hair you see. My best mate dressed up as Obi Wan Kenobi.

A group of us went to a slightly dodgy pub before heading to the actual event and we were getting some looks and comments etc. When we eventually left my friend got accosted by one particularly drunk guy. His costume was recognised as that of Obi Wan aka Ben Kenobi.

"Hey aw'right there pal? Aw'right Ben?"

"Yeah thanks."

"Oh aye, aw'right Ben? Aw'right Ben!?"

"..."

"Aw'right Ben-d Over!"

The guy then grabbed my friend, turned him round and pushed him over the bar. He was then play-shagged-up-the-arse while the guy was laughing maniacally.

"Aw'right Ben? Can you feel The Force eh Ben?"

We made a mental note to ourselves, next time we were going to do a stupid nerdy thing like that again we weren't going to do it in a townie pub.
( djtrialprice, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:10, 1 reply)

Such a nerd...
When I was in middle school, we had BBC micro computers for computer science classes. The teacher, also a nerd, had developed a very simple top-down pool table program that bounced balls off of the cushions non stop.

I complained because the physics of the ball bouncing off of the cushions didn't take into effect the momentum of the balls, the density of the balls, the rigidity of the cushions, and any spin created from the bounces.

The teacher was unimpressed that I complained about how crap his little baby was.
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:10, 1 reply)

Nerdy
1. Moved house two weeks ago and had to clear out some stuff. To the charity shop goes 100 Star Wars Novels, Terminator novels complete set, Aliens novels complete set, Area 51 Novels (never published in the uk), Indiana Jones novels (again never published in the uk, Anne McCaffrey Pern novels. No great problem as have most of them on the computer in Ebook form.

2.To log in to B3TA at work have to load imdb first to get spelling of my user name!

3. Found whilst moving all of my Star Wars CCG cards. Now looking for a copy of the latest rules.

4. My brother and I have tickets for the one man show of all 6 star Wars films for later in the year. We also for the last 3 years have given each other Transformer reissues for Christmas and birthdays.

The wife despairs of me, however at one point a few years back there were over 100 care bears sharing or two bed flat!
(Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez is seriously considering a shorter username, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 13:08, Reply)