woo
got my new CD's that I ordered online today - yay! And excellent start to the second term....now to study hard until exams in seven weeks!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 20 Apr 2009, 7:26, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Extortion.
Extortion is defined as obtaining something such as money under threat of force.

I'm being extorted by someone who I considered a friend. I've been storing a 1985 Toyota Corolla GT-S at a 'friend's' place in Oklahoma for about eight months now. So he rings me yesterday to find out what I'm going to do about my car. I asked one of my class mates if he would be interested in keeping the car for me and using it himself. He readily agree of course, we are racers after all and plan on opening a shop together. Origially I had asked my 'friend' in Oklahoma to keep my car on his land after my dad passed away until I could figure something out, only to find OUT he wants 500 dollars. Legally he cannot do anything to my car, I have the papers. I've got my sister Cackers on it with his personal information. And he lesson is, if you have money, don't let else know about it. Because people suck.
(Non Stamp Collector, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 4:58, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Today was an excellent day :)
Decided to get up at 6am to go fishing, my honey came with me and we took his boat.
The sun was shining, the sky was blue. We were having laughs and jokes and I was flashing him my boobs when nobody else was around.
Had awesome cheeseburgers for lunch. Got hellishly sunburned as the sun screen was out of date.
Went to the pub, hung out with friends.
Got home to my babies wanting love and attention.

Am now getting ready to throw a steak on the bbq with grilled asparagus.

Yeah, life is good today.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 2:53, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Hammers, because, why not?
It's Sunday, after all. (At least it still is over here.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0EMofUchUo
( cackers, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 2:08, Reply)

Thank you,
Fate. I really need SNB to crawl out of the woodwork now and start pestering me about why she can't see a relationship status on my Facebook page. "U still with the man?" Jesus. Mind your own business...

/vent
( Maladicta, Sun 19 Apr 2009, 23:35, 22 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Aww crap
J G Ballard has died :(

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8007331.stm
(Halfy By light alone, Sun 19 Apr 2009, 19:36, 8 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

cr3 has reinstated /all
for the top 30 posts on the question of the week.

If you appreciate it, go here:

www.b3ta.com/questions/bugs_and_feature_requests/post404189

and tell him.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 19 Apr 2009, 18:02, Reply)

The Footie
8 changes for Man Utd, essentially the B-squad.

Arrogance, or confidence in their youngsters?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 19 Apr 2009, 15:26, 9 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Rise And Shine Freaky B3tans!


It's another lovely day, so come inside and shelter from all that healthy fresh air...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 19 Apr 2009, 7:48, 137 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Fight fight fight
I'm sitting in the Hare and Hounds having a few jars with friends and it's all kicked off at the next table. Two guys surge to their feet, the little guy finds himself too short to deliver a headbutt and throws a roundhouse right. The other guy is spark out before he hits the floor. A bunch of regulars pile over and throw out the little guy.

I love a pub with a floorshow.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:49, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

BBC3 9pm
Family guy night starts.

I'm being sad and staying in dyeing my hair, so who else will join me in a WOO and a YAY for a night of animated hi jinks?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:46, 9 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Question
would you rather have two cocks or four balls?

The testicles would be located within one sack, and provide you with extra stamina, and double the load.

The cocks can be of different sizes if you so wish, and arranged in any configuration that you please, they are however linked in that they get hard at the same time and both cum simultaneously, albeit at half the strength.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:10, 38 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

lazy pack of shites


What're you all having for lunch then??
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 18 Apr 2009, 13:19, 51 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Now then
It's nearly the summer, so I want to put a summer playlist together.

So far, I have the following:

1. The Music- Freedom Fighter
2. New Radicals- You get what you give
3. Reef- Place your hands
4. Tori Amos- Happy Phantom

Any more suggestions?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 18 Apr 2009, 11:18, 12 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Ooh
The Abominable Charles Christopher

This is amazing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 23:56, 6 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Friends
By the end of next month all of my friends will have moved away.
I only really had two close friends, and both of them are moving away due to work.
One of them will be back in two years, and will be back most weekends.

My problem is this, I have no idea how to make friends.
How do you do it?
Is there some secret that no one has told me?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 23:26, 12 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
and heaven knows...

As you may know thanks to the QOTW of a couple of weeks ago, I've been unemployed for a few months now.

I applied today for a job where the weekly rate = my previous daily rate. However, it's a job, albeit for 6 months.

I've got an interview on Monday.

Should I take it, just to get out of the house and working ?

Or is this short-term madness ?

Comments please, b3tans...
( I_Was_Mordred, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 17:51, 9 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

someone must
have a paralysed friend and access to a Slendertone muscletoner. If so, then please make them dance about and film it for Youtube.

My mate has a good midi control unit for the light rig in his band. I suggested he connect it up to a Slendertone's control box, attach the pads to a paraplegic guy and have them lurch about during a gig a bit like a zombie Bez.

Against their will.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 16:13, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Newsletter games
www.bartbonte.com/meandthekey

anyone figure out the rope/knot/pulley one? Number 10?
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:44, 15 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Great new defendant name.
The first 4 letters of which are "Shat".

And all I can think is what a crappy name.


Badum tish
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:40, Reply)

Top Tips
Do you have any specific to your job that are of no use to anyone? post them in the replies.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:39, 20 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Tech support
"Users who have no internet or email access at all and cannot uninstall or shutdown ZoneAlarm, please Click Here"


Only a small bit of irony at the bottom of the page.

www.zonealarm.com/security/en-gb/support/technical-support.htm
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:34, Reply)

The Joker is born!!
*Disclaimer, I’m not saying in any way that I find the story itself funny!*
This is a story on Sky news at the moment and whilst the story itself is a bit horrible, the comments below it amused me greatly. The delightful readers of Sky news start with sympathetic comments of “oh that poor boy” before it degenerates completely into a fight over whether or not the substance in question was an acid or an alkaline.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:32, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Condoms
Let's talk about condoms.

I just got a text from a lady friend saying that she's back in town TONIGHT and is quite clearly gagging for some X-rated shenanigans. While suppressing my erection it suddenly struck me that I'm out of condoms and can't go on one of those anonymous web-sites to call in the re-up (*winks to fans of The Wire).

Also having just spent my last few loose £1 coin on Chips, Fried Rice and Gravy from the Great Wall, I face the prospect of breaking a tenner in my local Somerfield.

Do people buy condoms in supermarkets? Is this feasible!? Or will the 16 year old behind the counter look at me like so posh-wanking festerous pervert.

Where do you get yours?

[edit] For the record I'm in the market for XXL Titan Extreme.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:42, 26 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

To the Real Bert.
Thank you for the lully pictures.

The vampyrecat is now my desktop - and the other is hidden away so I can keep it safe forever.

Thank you. You are well fluffeh underneath the cunty facade. /hugs
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:28, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

New comic
After a minor hiatus, I have returned with another shitty little comic.

I found that Photobucket was resizing all my images (hence the text being too small to read without squinting). I'm therefore experimenting with other hosts.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:19, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Pictures, Or It Didn't Happen
I've decided to webcast the upcoming Melbourne Bash. I'll setup a webcam linked to a 3G USB modem and stream the Bash live.

I've figured how to send still images to my server in the States - now trying to figure out streaming live video without forking out for a Flash Media Server. There'll be a way to do it.

So this'll be a B3ta first. A B3ta piss-up in Australia streamed live over the web.

God I love technology!

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:12, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Help please from petrol heads.
At the moment I'm driving an old BMW which my dad gave me. He wants the car back because he likes driving it and he wants another vehichle with 4 seats as well as his current 2 seater sports car.

He said he'll get me another second hand car to drive instead. I quite like the idea of a new mini or a beetle. I need something that is suitable for the way I drive. The BMW was perfect as the pedals were stiff and I am quite heavy footed.

What shall I get?
( girlinthehole, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:15, 37 replies, latest was 17 years ago)