Da bird got riddim
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8026592.stm
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 1 May 2009, 11:26, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

"Ohhh fuck!"
Were probably Ayrton Senna's last words, uttered at Tamborello corner fifteen years ago today.

At the time I was sat in my mate's lounge drinking beer and shouting "Ayrton, you cunt!" at the television.

Where were you and what were you doing?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 1 May 2009, 10:07, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

May Day!
It's May Day, so I thought I'd spread cheer by pointing out that the nights start drawing in again next month.

Summer's nearly over...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 1 May 2009, 10:02, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Minge and giant willies
Sooo - returned from Florence this week. Was looking through the pics last night and the highlights as I remember them are as follows...

Willies!!! On lots of statues. And pubes. And very well sculpted hairy nuts.

There was also a statue which was hung like a donkey. Couldn't keep my eyes off it.

Minge!!! We found girlie statues that had, not just the Ken-esque bump, but a whole carved minge crack. (which the fella then decided to tell me the sculptor would have been rubbing... you see where that goes)

AND satyr willies - oh dear lord. Apparently it wasn't the done thing to do men with hard ons in those days, but satyrs (top half men, bottom half goat) were fair game. So there would be these naked men running away from creatures with ginormous hard ons.

And a painting of some female saint who had her boobs cut off when she was martyred - it shows this woman with two men holdng giant clamps on her nipples (edit - just before they pulled them off, presumably). That one freaked me out a little.... urghhhhh.


Anyone else got any totally inappropriate highlights from visiting places of art and beauty?
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:56, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yay
Just aced my midterm physics exam. Was convinced that I would fail, then I opened the test paper and I was filled with win.

*glees*
(Holy Gabrielle is Holy, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:54, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

DVD on my home computer was borked
so I phoned Acer to tell them to fix it.

They instructed me to send it to them via their DHL account.

Sent it Monday, they tried to return it yesterday, all fixed and tested. All free of charge.

Good service.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:47, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anybody from the Isle of Wight?
Anybody? Specificially Ryde (or close by)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:44, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A song for Al
Gotta pinscher of you inside me,
got your lipstick mark still on my Collie pup,
(no, no)
Wasn't good
(no, no)

Gonna fist a pure dalmation,
gotta bed of spattered breams,
gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it,
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood.

Babe, I guess now it's time, that you came back for good...
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 1 May 2009, 9:14, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm a bit pissed.
Who else has had beery fun tonight?

And I'm not talking about Pooflake's ex-boss either.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 1 May 2009, 0:14, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Environmental Climatology
OK, so my laundry detergent makes a big deal out of how you can wash your clothes at 30 degrees, thereby saving power and therefore saving the planet. Wonderful and noble and so on. I'm all for saving the planet and such. So that's good.

One little niggle, though. During the spin cycle your washing machine spins around like a cunt for a good ten or more minutes. Given that your washing will quite happily drip-dry on the line and that most dryers are fully capable of removing any excess water, wouldn't removing the spin cycle save more power than not heating water up an extra ten degrees?
( Kroney, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 21:54, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hostel
is a fucking rubbish film. I watched it today based upon the recommendation of a friend who knows that I mostly enjoyed the Saw series of films, and as such thought I would like Hostel.

Nothing remotely scary or cringeworthy in it. The main characters were fucking annoying and the only reason I continued watching was to see how they'd get it. Sadly one didn't which has led me to download the second one to make sure the tumescent little shit dies.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 21:39, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

European Drivers:
Those refelecty things on either side of your car aren't there to check your make up / admire your handsome boyish looks (delete as appropriate) they are in fact there to check for approaching cars before you blindly swing into the next lane!

Also, an advanced lesson, those pretty orange flashy lights aren't for your own personal disco but in fact designed to "indicate" to other road users your intended direction.

500 km today and nearly died about 7 times, fucking idiots!

Surprisingly the Dutch were the worst offenders who I'd previously regarded in high esteem.
(bill, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 21:31, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just what is this RIS that some of you speak of?
and don't do the let me google that for you thing please.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 20:49, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

From now on
All posts about swine flu, aka the Aporkalypse, aka Armagammon, must include the following image:



to indicate the seriousness of the issue.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 18:51, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you care
that Isaac Newton had to correct his maths four times before everything fell downwards.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 17:17, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Every time I go to a news website
I see something else on the swine flu, and announcements from the CDC.

And every time, instead of thinking of Centers for Disease Control, I think of Crudely Drawn Cocks.

Damn youze, b3ta! You did this to me! Damn youze to hell!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 30 Apr 2009, 17:15, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I miss Al

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 17:10, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I apologise for unleashing all of the below this afternoon
I happened to read a not-particularly-interesting fact, and thought I'd post it.

This led to a deluge of utter bilge and twaddle, for which I am very sorry.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 16:05, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you know...
...that an anagram of Richard Stilgoe is 'Clitoris Dogshite'?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 15:42, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you know...
...that as a young man David Cameron underwent cosmetic surgery to enhance his smugness?

..."John Prescott" literally means "Fat, sweaty useless cunt" when translated into Aramaic?

...Victoria Beckham once sought medical advice because of her excessive foul-smelling flatulence?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 30 Apr 2009, 15:07, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you know
I have just eaten a Caramac, I've not had one in years, it was lovely!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 15:04, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you know...
According to a recent animal behavior psychology study dogs are capable of a much wider range of emotions than we previously thought? Including Jealosy, envy and shame apparently.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 14:31, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you know
Neil Armstrong wasn't actually the first man on the moon as he wasn't actually a man. A team of scientists working deep in the heart of the Amazon rainforest developed a strange fungus that grew into a perfect man shape. Nasa sensing that a fungus probably wouldn't want paying took advantage of this free labour and sent it to the moon.

There are now thousands of mini Neil Armstrongs running about on the moon as a result of the fungus sporing quite heavily whilst it was there.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 14:19, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

did you know...
That male seahorses fertilize and birth their offspring?
( cackers, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:59, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And another 'Did you know?'
All shrimp are born male, but slowly grow into females as they mature.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:50, Reply)

..
I reckon the new question will be about us turning into our parents....
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:44, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you know.....
There are more questions than answers, and the more I find out, the less I know.
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:44, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did You Know?
There are more corner-shops in the U.K. than corners...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:42, Reply)

What the fuck is going on here??
Well, have a midday HSH thread from me if needs. It seems OT has dissolved into a moosh I can't quite identify, but it seems brown, and quite possibly squelchy.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:40, Reply)