It's dead quiet
isn't it.
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:15, Reply)

Not a lot happening tonight is there
Did anyone watch Hollyoaks this week?
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:05, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

evening all
Another night and i'm in...

Tonight i helpfully lent a workmate her deposit for a flat, (hopefully) until sunday, not thinking that i might need some money for myself for the weekend. Luckily its the bank holiday here and, therefore i have extra days to spend it, but until then...

Done anything stupidly selfless thats left you high and dry of late??
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:08, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When I was eleven
at middle school, in a reading session in the library, I pulled a chair from under a girl who was sitting down. My teacher saw what I did and dragged me from the library by my ear. I wet myself a little bit.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:43, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good evening...
I'm a bit new, and can be a bit of a mong at times, so could one of you lovely people tell me how the fuck I link to a previous story please?

Cheers
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Fri 29 May 2009, 20:33, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello!
While I've been 'working' I've been taking advantage of this onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/ to read while at work.
Thanks to that link I've read Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre and now Hagar from the Pawn-Shop.
What are you currently reading?
At home I'm reading 'Black Silk' by Sharon Page
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:08, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm sat here waiting for female housemates to get ready
We're supposed to be going out for dinner. This was at half six.

A) What's the longest you've waited for someone to get ready?

B) Someone please entertain/insult me creatively. Thanks.

Edit: Just been informed we're now looking at leaving around 8 pm. This is great.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:12, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Won't someone please think of the Honda Accords?
www.guardian.co.uk/business/2009/may/29/honda-car-plant-in-swindon-reopens
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:02, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ugh, I am hungover
But just checked in online for my flight, and upgraded to First Class for $50. This gives me glee :)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:58, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just when you think that's as low as they can stoop
USA, Australia and the EU attempt to kill treaty to protect blind people's access to written material.

Gaah.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:48, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I met a charming gent
by the name of Martin Morton yesterday. Have any of you met people with amusing sounding names? Not like Mike Hunt or Emma Rhoyds (both of whom I knew) but names that just sound funny.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:02, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Arse biscuits.
It's a glorious sunny afternoon, and I'm indoors painting the hall. Currently I'm about halfway there and it's becoming really obvious that the one tin won't be enough. Plus it's drying as patchy as fuck, even though it's supposed to be one coat paint.

And the missus is out with the car and won't be back for some time.

Knickers.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 May 2009, 16:35, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Entertain me for the last half hour of college please
I have nothing to do and don't fancy going back to the classroom as I'll doubtless be given more extraneous work to do.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:00, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fucking vendors
Some firewall vendor that I don't know, that I've never dealt with, just left me a voicemail with her number asking me to call her back!

Right. So she wants me to call her back so she can waste my time pitching some bullshit to me?

*deletes voicemail*

*fumes*

What's made you oh so slightly cross today? (apart from ym/mm and my banal witterings)
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:48, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

sweet zombie titty-fucking christ on a bike
I'm bored.

I'm going home at 4, but that leaves me with just over an hour to kill.

You bastards had better be entertaining. cos if you're not.....

edit: better ask something I guess...

Tell me something interesting about yourself. Something not many people know. Do you have a special talent?

I quite surprise people by being able to put my leg behind my head. The surprise comes because I am a 6'2 bloke who weighs about 14 stone.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:58, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm a habitual nail biter but recently have been able to grow them a millimetre or two longer than they usually are.
I've discovered that it makes it so much easier to pick my nose.


What have you discovered today?
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:07, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Newsletter subjectline compo
OK Qwotters, I normally ignore you but not today - can you help with a suggestion for the newsletter title?
( rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:22, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm waiting to hear back from my Landlady
But if she says yes, I'll be acquiring two kittens soon. I've already decided to name one of them "Mumra", what could I call the other?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:18, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bindun?
BBC1 last night, 9pm

Come on - it was fuckin' brilliant.

Chopper dyes his pubes ginger.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:50, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Has anyone provided a suitable explanation
as to why the most popular post didn't win last week's QOTW?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:36, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last day of work.
Having been laid off does anyone have a suitable image for me to leave as a screensaver on the company laptop. (I have already set my homepage to 'I love Horses' and turned the volume up full)

Any other futile gestures much appreciated.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:28, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

le Weekend
What's everyone up to?

I'm going out with the hound tomorrow for a long walk and then doing some research on Sunday.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:46, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Out of all the people you've added as friends
If you could organise the list from best to worst, who would be at the bottom?

i.e. I like your work enough to follow it, but I like these other people better.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:09, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Following the sad story a couple of weeks back
About that cat that got attacked by hoodies and injured...

www.thisisbristol.co.uk/homepage/Cat-gives-birth-kittens-Bristol-youth-attack/article-1032902-detail/article.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:39, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Work for a mobile phone company?
I seem to remember someone on the board giving me advice once about my mobile phone contract as they worked in the industry. Does anyone know who this was?

Alternatively, is anyone particularly good on consumer contract law?

Details of why I'm asking and a potential almighty blag are in replies
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:38, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

LOVE this picture


I have to admit - whilst I do mathematical and statistical research I'm not a scientist in the exact definition (e.g., works in academia, gets paid a pittance but makes up for it by being at the cutting edge of new discovery).
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

MrOli made me think... religious debates
We see a lot of fruitless debates between atheists and religiousists. I'm bored of those though, as entertaining as they can be. They never get anywhere.

I want to see a proper battle royale of debates held with a representative from each recognised world religion. It could be organised as a World Cup style tournament, with qualifying rounds leading to group games leading to the thrilling finals at some suitably God-ish venue (Mount Olympus perhaps?).

Just imagine: Voodoo versus Islam, Scientology versus Church of the FSM, Christianity versus Yogic Flying etc.

The ultimate victor, to be officially lauded as King of All Religions could then take on Richard Dawkins in a final debating battle to settle the argument once and for all.

Improvements to this rough draft welcomed.
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:08, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know we all hate Politicians
But this takes the fucking biscuit.

viewsfromtheeast.blogspot.com/2009/05/country-that-cares.html

What other preposterous laws do you hate!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:02, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Busted!
This past year, I've been proofreading my girlfriends and some of people in her english class' homework before they submit it to the teacher. Just minor stuff - they send me a file, and I go though it and fix grammer, spellings etc. The markup tool in Word is great - then I make it a PDF so they can't just print it out, they have to go back and re-type it so they do actually learn from the mistake they're making. I've watched them all improve, in particular one person who's pidgin english has turned in to something you'd expect from QOTW, with the corresponding grade increase from G to MVG (no, I don't know what they stand for).

Someone who I haven't been doing it for appears to have told the teacher about what I've been up to, and just got a rather angry e-mail off her. Oddly enough, her english is worse than her pupils! (Should I send back a corrected version?). Now the entire class is facing being failed for the year because she can't prove who's been sending what to me.

What can you guys suggest as a course of action to get these guys out of trouble? I have a feeling they're going to be made to re-write the whole lot under exam conditions.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:02, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)