Not my story but a good un.
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8092942.stm
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 15:27, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Jumping on the musical bandwagon
Your five all time favourite bands. What are they?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 15:26, 123 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

"Soon you will be able to have a username"
Popular productivity murderer facebook is letting you have a username (from June 13th). My guess is that you'll be able to search for people using it.

Question is, who will use their b3ta username? Who doesn't care about their privacy in the slightest?
( djtrialprice, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 15:08, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Seeing as it's Music Wednesday
Circulus - the loudest folk music purveyors around. Discuss.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 14:33, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What is it...
That keeps you guys here, and not say, 4chan or SA?

Just curious like.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 14:17, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Music you are ashamed of listening to
Here's a question for you all ... I'm a big fan of alternative music, and by that I DON'T mean Linkin Park etc. For years I've been a fan of Aphex Twin, have all the albums and some unreleased stuff etc. Also well into Squarepusher, Cylob, Venetian Snares, some Luke Vibert stuff (not all), to a lesser extent Boards of Canada and most recently Wisp (signed to the Rephlex label, which I'm a BIG fan of).

Correspondingly I get strange looks from people when listening to my music in public, or wearing my Bang Face t-shirt (www.bangface.com). What music wouldn't you listen to in front of your mum?

.
(hangableautobulb is an anagram of the best album ever, on, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 14:17, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Please help!
I don't know what to do!

I'm addicted to cold turkey.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 14:15, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Top five horror films of all time?
Psycho
[REC]
Jaws
Texas chainsaw massacre
The fog
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 14:00, 119 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone familiar with the band Soul Coughing?
what are your thoughts?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:48, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The day to celebrate fathers (21st June)
'noon all! I've been Made To Work. Sucks. Anyway...

The fella and I have been having a disagreement about this. We spotted a sign saying "Dad's go free" (and a little bit of me died again). It also said "Father's Day" somewhere on it.

Obviously I was in tears with the whole grammatical debacle. But then the disagreement... I think both are wrong, including the ol' "father's day". I think it is the day to celebrate fathers, not just your personal father, so I think it should read "Fathers' Day".

The fella disagrees. He reckons you should only have one dad, ergo father's day.

Tell me I'm right.

And if I'm wrong I may not be around for a while because I'll be undergoing a brain transplant with a monkey.

/edit - apologies for the plethora of disagreeage in there.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:16, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have a question for you all...
Some of my friends are off to Download this weekend.

4 were being driven in one car, 2 others are getting in a minibus.

The 4 were driving, when they saw the 2 walking for their lift, and pulled over to say Hello. The walking lad (Alex) asked if they had any room for stuff in the car. The car was completely jam-packed, so they said no. Alex then said "Come on, it's only 2 crates, surely enough room for that?" Long story short, he got the extra two crates in.

I then get a phone call off James (car) an hour later, saying how he's really pissed off he has to carry Alex's beer, and that I should have a word with him. He was completely insistent on this. My reasoning that they should leave it in the car for him wouldn't work, as the driver wasn't going to the festival, was simply a chauffeur.

Now I'm being bitched at by James, whom I told he shouldn't have taken the beer in the first place. Therefore my question to you b3tans is this....

What do you reckon has been the best song in the last 5 years?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 13:13, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And while I'm on the subject
WHAT THE CUNTING FUCK has happened to the fucking weather ?

It starts getting darker in less than 2 weeks. I'm shivering. It's mid-day in June. It's wet. It's pants.

Where is the global warming we were promised, eh ?
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:51, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmmm....BUGGER THIS
(As the bishop said to his new choirmaster)

According to a colleague of mine, we're not expected to come into work if it would mean walking for more than 4 miles / 1 hour

Now I normally walk anyway, and I've managed to whittle the journey down to a little over an hour, but according to Google Maps, it's 4.5 miles from home to work.

I only came in today because my supervisor said we'd need to do stuff on the instrument. "Come and find me when you get in," he said yesterday. It's now midday and I haven't heard a peep out of him.

I'm going home*.

I should also make it clear that, as the Supreme Crow, and therefore speaking for all corvids, we disown Bob Crow. He is not behaving like a proper crow. He is behaving like a great, big, wobbly arse that looms over Central London and shits on all and sundry below.

*_{Going home also carries the advantage of being close to the fridge, and therefore able to make myself a nice big lunch that I really don't need but would enjoy anyway.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:21, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today I will mainly be
Pimping the Detroit Cobras. They are too good not to.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:14, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The London Underground Song - Lyrics (sung to the tune of "Going Underground" by The Jam)
(C) Suman Biswas and Adam Kay

Full lyrics (on multiple occasions O_o) in replies ...
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 12:02, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

GTA / Violence and Youngsters
I just purchased Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars for the DS from Play.com for the hefty sum of £10. I guess this heads up is part of the reason for this post.

I've had a long history with video games and well they tend to bore me these days, but for £10 you can't complain.

Anyway, after the hour or so I get bored of the pretty damn violent, pretty adult theme-ish game I'm planning on passing it on to my 9 year old nephew, in a typical "the cool uncle" kind of way.

I remember at that age watching such mind-warping videos as American Werewolf in London, 'Meet the Feebles', Childs Play and Hellraiser, so...

This isn't too much for a 9 year old is it? Too soon? I'm also hoping my sister doesn't lose the bap in anger. At what age should children be introduced to violence and murder?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 11:45, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Not long now til the bash!
Anyone else quivering with excitement, or should I be worried about a sudden onset of Parkinson's?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 11:26, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Grumpy
I've just been called a cunt by a random member of the public.

Because I'm wearing my uniform - standing outside a station, in Central London trying to make a few phone calls.

Do I look like a sodding Crow-Loving TUBE driver? I have the company name plastered all over my jacket - none of it says LONDON UNDERGROUND on it.

I'm in a bad mood now.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 11:07, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was just
searching for a car insurance quote on t'interwebnet when I saw a large spider in the middle of the living-room floor, bold as brass. So I pursued it out of the room with a pencil. But by then, the website had timed out and I had to do the tedious data entry all over again.

What time consuming financial services applications have you had interrupted by cheeky arachnids which were dealt with using stationery? Perhaps you were applying for a credit card when you had to shoo a scorpion with a protractor.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:52, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Seeing as I'll never get a QOTW suggestion chosen
The numbers on a roulette wheel - 1-36 - add up to 666
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 10:40, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Random acts of cuntness
say something cuntish about a fellow b3tan.

Vipros is a slack jawed yokel who feeds on the skins of dead embryos.

Apologies for bad apostrophe placement
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:50, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The random acts of kindness thread
Use this thread to say something nice about another b3tan - preferably one who you hardly know or don't know at all.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 9:20, 133 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Futurama's coming back
trekmovie.com/2009/06/09/futurama-returning-with-new-episodes-in-2010-expect-trek-jokes-to-follow/
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 8:29, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woooo!
I have managed to get into work after many dramas!! I am slightly early... well... all the lights are off and there’s no one in sight but at least I can enjoy my toast in peace!?

I hope all you other London B3tans are not having too many problems or that you have decided to do the sensible thing and work from home!! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 10 Jun 2009, 7:38, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello you fluffy buggers.
Make me laugh. I need laughter.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 7:26, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just finished my last bit of a huge pile of marking,
plus I don't have to go in to work at stupid o'clock thanks to the tube strike.

Shall I celebrate by going to bed with:
a) some beer?
b) some zopiclone?
c) some clonazepam?
d) a late night booty call?
e) Radio 4 and a nice cup of Tetley decaf?

I would do one of those poll things but they're shit.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:49, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

PJM is amazing in the sack and has a willy like a wrestler's forearm
All the girls love him.

He isn't signed in as chickenlady. No siree.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:16, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)