Good morning fuckers
I spent most of the night worrying about whether a model would have run or not.

It had. I'm pleased. Still got a banging headache this morning.

can't be bothered to think of a question so just give me a status report.

Pain:30%
Self-doubt:15%
Existential dread:87%
In-need-of-a-haircut:98%
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 9:30, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good Morning Fluffers!

I totally slept in this morning!
By about 2 hours!
Good job i work for myself...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 5 Aug 2009, 9:19, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Two days to go until I'm unemployed
That's including today!

So guys and galls what would you do to take revenge on the bunch of cunts!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 9:11, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh ffs
Reading the Metro this morning, there's a story about a booze delivery service called A in E being fined for, amongst other things, using "medical sounding jargon". Directly below it was a story about women's spending during the wedding season, which used the phrase "Same Dress Syndrome" twice.

What have you seen lately that's made you roll your eyes?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 9:10, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

No Doubt w/ Katy Perry
Fucking awesome concert. Katy Perry rocked, but No Doubt were absolutleyfuckingamazing, And I was designated driver, so won't even have a hangover!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 8:26, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

FUCK ALL THIS
I want to know if Tesco is open yet!
TELL ME MORE.
hello lovely qotw people
( SuperMatt, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 7:46, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone still about?
Look I'm here! And I'm drunk! Look at me! LOOK AT ME! LOOOOOK AAAATTTT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 22:42, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ONE MORE SLEEP TO GO 'TILL TESCO OPENS !!!!!111

Click for more
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 20:56, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Decision Time
I've been working my little socks off over recent months and will be rewarded with a nice lump of cash soon - most of it will go on paying off the overdraft, but I've got a need to blow some of it on some booze and a nice gagdety-toy.

I'm half tempted to grab myself a PS3 (mainly for the Blu-Ray)... any thoughts?
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 20:14, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HSH slightly delayed this evening
due to an urgent need for a nap.


( Maladicta, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 19:45, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Show me a video, I know this isn't links but I want to see what you have to offer
Turtles, YEAH! Piranhas, YEAH!
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 19:18, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening everyone!
We have an ancrenne in da house. Would anyone like to say hello?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 Aug 2009, 18:52, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Does anyone know of a bit of open source software
that highlights all the verbs or nouns, adjectives, adverbs and so on in a piece of text?

Ta.


This place is getting like Swap Shop!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 18:09, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In-laws
anybody have any in-laws that really need cunting in the fuck?

/fumes

Edit: That should've been worded different as it just sounds like I'm offering a service. I meant, do you have any in-laws like my sister-in-law who is such an invidious old trout, I had to get the thesaurus out to find the right word to describe her.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 17:57, Reply)

Anyone got some good cake recipes?
About to engage in a frenzy of baking, and looking for ideas.
Will report back on the nommishness of any that I make
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 4 Aug 2009, 16:36, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

so erm anyway
this "sexting" business appears to have passed me by. Are there any websites featuring some pert-geddit-inent examples? I need to research.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 16:02, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

THREAD DELETER!
Have you ever deleted a thread on the internet, online? Why did you do it?

Alternatively, tell me the story of how you came in to this world. Bonus points for savage imagery, lies, exploding spleens and a huge side order of gore.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 15:53, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is quite interesting
www.nytimes.com//interactive/2009/07/31/business/20080801-metrics-graphic.html
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 15:32, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Also......anyone pretended to fall asleep so they didn't have to have sex with someone?
I've only ever done it once on a one-night stand.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:55, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is there anything in the world lovelier than a kitten?
I've been sat here for 10 minutes trying to think of anything lovelier than a cute fluffy kitten, and I can't.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:43, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is it wrong of me
that I bought a bottle gin solely because it makes my wife hornier than a schoolboy who's just wandered into the girls changing room?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 13:50, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Any Scott Walker afficianados out there?
I've just posted this on /links, but if anyone could identify the music, that'd be lovely. I'm guessing Scott Walker, but, beyond that, I've no clue...

Ideas?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 12:18, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Slip Digby and The Infinite Playlist
So yeah. I'm making a playlist of songs to be played at my impending nuptials. I've added some songs that I remember from my childhood. I remember songs by Starship, or The Firm, or even Elkie Completely Beige Brooks being good.

Spotify has shown me that my memory has played cruel and unusual tricks on me. Derivative lyrics, way too many synthesisers, and truckloads of hairspray. *shudders*

How has your childhood been ruined? Failing that, YOUR MUM.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 11:29, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Has anyone here seen "Antichrist"?
Is it any good?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 11:27, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's getting very quiet and dull on here so let's spice things up a bit.
What's your favorite spice?



Mine are chillie flakes.

OK, not really a spice but they come in a spice jar and I keep them in my spice cupboard. I put them on my pizzas and with crab and spagetti and various other meals where I can.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 11:16, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HMHB
Half Man Half Biscuit are playing in Komedia this week, anyone else going?

Alternatively, who is the greatest ever TV cop?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 11:14, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mobile phones
This week's question has had me thinking. It seems that people are forever upgrading their mobiles (upgrading in the sense that they're newer, if not necessarily better).

Me, I'm boring like that. I've had a mobile for 13 years, and only had 7 handsets. 8 if you count the second hand American one I bought for going on holiday before I had a triband phone. I've had the same SIM card since 1997.

So, how many mobiles have you owned?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 10:21, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just told a customer we won't pick him up because he pisses himself in the car.
It was quite satisfying.

Have you ever had fun while breaking bad news to someone?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 10:20, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I dreamt last night
that I was continuously punching my ex girlfriend of 15 odd years ago repeatedly in the face.

When I woke up I had an odd feeling of satisfaction, and a hard on you could crack ball bearings with.

I am wondering if I have some unresolved issues.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 8:25, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)