my office is trying out temp receptionists at the moment
there are a bunch of them, and they are each having a days trial.

Regarding yesterdays temp and to quote my colleague "she ain't got no alibi"

In delightful contrast, todays temp is a full-on hottie.

I hope this one wins
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:49, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What sort of emplyment should I seek?
Post deleted because pointing out you're a bit of a twat on the internet isn't the cleverest thing.
(lost, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 15:14, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Rumour Control
I need some help,

I want to start a rumour about a colleague who is immensely annoying and quite a sponger on their other colleagues.

I don't want it to be nasty, just obscure but also believable...

Anyone got any suggestions?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:54, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

B3ta 'Webcast' newsletter
Can someone please confirm if a newsletter was ever released as a web video?

I swear I saw it around 2 - 3 years ago and was trying to search for it with no avail.

Have I just made this up, or did it actually happen???

If anyone remembers it, what was the issue number?

Thnaks in advance.


Oh! and BOAT for good measure!
(Starvis something for the weekend sir?, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:54, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What do you do if you suspect your wife is a closet B3tard...?

I went home for lunch today, and was casually telling the present Mrs Pooflake about a situation at work (which I won't bore you with)

But subsequently, mid conversation, I used the expression: 'Basically, we're all in the same boat, and...'


"BOAT!" She shouts.

"Pardon?" I ask.

"BOAT!" She cries again

"What the fuck are you saying 'BOAT' for?" I ask

"Erm...no reason...BOAT" she chuckles.

This can't just be a coincidence.

I might have to watch my step a bit from now on...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:44, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just played Careless Whisper at 45rpm
sounds really, really good. the only one which sounds good at a different speed is the 45 of Space Cowboy which sounds better at 33rpm

I was thinking of recording it for you all, but I can't work out how to get a record into my laptop.

Anyone else like playing records at different speeds.
(sirolimus, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:37, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

decisions
Home alone, so:
Lunch or Youporn?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 14:23, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Job application
I'm currently trying to think of something to put in the "Any other information" box on the app form and have bullshitter's block.

Anyone have any suggestions as to what I can put?

(This should be a QOTW in its own right. What should Maudlin McCann put on his form to support his application?)
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:08, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sorry for retardyness, but what's BOAT?
Buy Oranges And That?

Burn Our Antelope Trousers?

Bowels Out And Testicles?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 13:00, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

catnip, catmint
it gets cats fuckered. I used to mix it with the whacky bakky a few years ago and it was very nice. Has anyone else experienced the pleasure of this 'erb?
(Osama Bin Ladin is opening a whole can of jihad on, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:59, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Made me chuckle somewhat.

This must've been done by a B3tard...

www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php
(Jam Rasta Geordie JMG's Jamaican cousin, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:48, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Read of the day
This: northwestnationalists.blogspot.com/2008/11/bnp-membership-list-2008-goes-online.html is fucking fantastic reading.

The BNP members are shitting themselves.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 12:05, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

DIY stuff n' timber n'stuff and hammers and nails and saws
Righty, I'm putting a woodburning stove into my freezing house. I need somewhere to keep logs in the front courtyard that I like to refer to as my garden. I want to build a log store. It needs to allow the air to circulate, but has to have a door and padlock because the pikey fuckers round my way will nick me wood otherwise.

Question: what's the best way to acquire timber in order to build said structure (which will neatly run along the metre high front wall of the garden)? I was thinking: find some old pallets and take them apart and use them. I hate the idea of forking out for real timber.

I voted for cocks, not BOAT.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:38, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, I mentioned BOAT on /talk. Here's what happened after 2 minutes
Vote BOAT
BOAT. Vote for it.
(swordfishtromBOAT I AM BOAT, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:17, Add friend, Ignore, Hide, Delete, Edit, I like this! Reply)
*head in hands*

( Lord Mue Master of his own toes, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:17, Add friend, Ignore, Hide, I like this! Reply)
SSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

( Goatworrier - Indeed, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:18, Add friend, Ignore, Hide, I like this! Reply)
BARK BARK CUNT BARK!

(Police Dog Bark Bark Bark!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:18, Add friend, Ignore, Hide, I like this! Reply)
What are BOAT's economic policies?

( glued eel, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:18, Add friend, Ignore, Hide, I like this! Reply)
my son turned 4 yesterday, he wouldn't belive it was really his birthday till he had a cake with candles
so he had cake at 0730, how we laughed
( mongychops, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:18, Add friend, Ignore, Hide, I like this! Reply)
(GONEism, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 11:20, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lost: Season 4
Yeah, I'm a bit behind the times but HOW FUCKIN GOOD IS IT!?!?!?

Just watched the 2nd episode last night :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:56, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

All kinds of wrong
If you're in an arid environment (desert), or any environment for that matter, your main requirement for survival is water.

When water is scarce there are certain obscure methods of obtaining it.

Somebody suggested the following;

"It is possible to rectally infuse urine to get moisture into your system."

At no point am I going to be trying that one.
For a start, my knob isn't long enough to be able to piss up my own ass and, well, I'd much prefer to die of dehydration rather than get a 'buddy' to do this.
Some people are just fucking mental.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 10:28, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You don't hate them enough yet, so the Daily Poll will continue to bumtouch you.
What is the best thing?










(GONEism, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 8:24, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here, have a morning thread.

( wanderlust, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 7:52, 325 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ive just been playing the BNP postcode game
I always assumed that the majority of the Nazis were the working class. To put it bluntly, the poorer, less educated members of society.

However, that seems not to be the case as all but one of the morons from my town live in not just the nicer areas of town, but the really well off areas with all the big swish houses.

I am surprised to say the least and rather disappointed I dont know any of them :(
(i should have joined myspace, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 2:02, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

It's Thursday, which can only mean one thing:
The penultimate episode of "Rabbits".



And the previous exciting instalments, in case you have no idea what's going on*:



*with the comic. I can't help you with dementia-related issues.
( Cawl, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 1:39, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was just wondering
if anyone knows any straight, single guys who like computer games, pubs and bedroom antics.
Because there don't seem to be any in Wales...
God knows, I've been looking!
( Mellicious is made of candy, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 22:20, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

attention xbox gamers
to kill or not to kill....

this may have been an appropiate answer to a previous QOTW...

should I put my brother down?- he traded in Halo 3 for.....Virtua tennis
(Lord Chode, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 20:15, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Rick rolling vs. I Love Horses
Why is it that rick rolling is more than a bit old but I love horses is still funny?
(man_d is being watched by experts on, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 19:14, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wednesday evening's thread...

( thealternativefact, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 17:27, 213 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Advice
What's the longest you can go out of the office for a "poo" before people realise you didn't actually go out for a poo?
(GONEism, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 15:44, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

bnp THINGY
has anyone a working link to the list that shows bnp membership?

(just want to make sure they spelled my mum's name right)

EDIT::THANKS ALL FOUND THE LIST NOW.
(smells-like-victory-v's, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 14:55, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Crikey
I think I'm getting bored of the internets.

I've spent the last 3 days in work doing nothing but browsing and have seen everything, probably twice...

I think I need a new job.

Or, some new exciting things to look at!?
(gin'll fix it, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 14:50, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Judgement
Two of my mates, I'll call them R & A, were having a game of Word Disassociation.

After a few minutes of the game, A said 'boot'

to which R replied with 'shoe'

R then said that he meant 'choux' as in a type of pastry.

A said even if R didn't cock-up and back-pedalled, claiming he meant choux and was just trying to clever, it's too similar to be allowable.

R also argued that no rules were stipulated at the start of the game except that "it's disassociation and so the words can't be connected or related.". Furthermore, it's possible to formulate an association between any of the consecutive words.

A went on to suggest that shoe sounds identical to choux and is therefore a reasonable association.

Who is correct?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 14:32, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Quids in
Got an idea.

I have recently acquired a highly specific, and narrowly targetted mailing list.

I'm thinking of purchasing a lot of nazi memorabilia for reselling.

Can you see where I'm going here?

This literally cannot go wrong.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 14:25, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)