Fuck kitty and her dead rodent
BBC NEWS LINK

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-12387767

Doesn't this make you furious?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:13, 222 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Not really, public money is usually fucked up against the wall

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Man from MK posts about roads.
I do like this rather a little too much
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

I am confused by that.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

The first face is an image meme which usually reads "Me gusta"
The last is similar, which usually reads "Forever alone"

If I have to explain the joke further I despair of you.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Ah, with you now
I was previously oblivious to that meme.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Oh, 4chan.
They're from a similar meme family as trollface and FFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

To be honest, I'm oblivious to most of 4chan.
Though I believe this was taken from there:

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

It...it sees my soul.
Though this one knows every wrong you've done in your life. And he is not happy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

HA!
The shoebill is possibly the funniest bird in existence. And that has to be the best photo of one I've ever seen.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I think I once posted it on Charms' wall after a particularly badly behaved night.
On my totally-not-gap-yah-but-quite-gap-yah-ish trip, our South African guide kept pointing out these birds he called what we thought were "wombles". We got very excited.

Turned out they were hornbills -facepalm-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

...then just chundered everywha!
You realise that's now got me sitting at my desk trying to say "womble" and "hornbill" in a South African accent.

So did you see a shoebill while you were out there? Did it gaze upon you judgementally?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I don't think so
As mentioned below, I saw ostriches. Also rock dassies, who are adorable and I think related to elephants, chavvy two-tone birds, and I'll recount my elephant story at some point.

Oh, and the standard rhino giraffe sort of thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Is the rock dassie also known as a hyrax by any chance?
And did the elephant stick her trunk up her own anus à la Carla?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Yes, they are.
I remember discussing them with the mighty badger a while ago.

The elephant story will probably require my amazing story telling abilities, it has actions and everything.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Now this sounds like a performance worth seeing.
(Probably better than my "elephant story involving actions" at any rate)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I've not seen that, but I have absolutely no desire to.
Oh shit, you're unfolding your pockets, what are you doi-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

*dances to tune of "Nelly the Elephant"*

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Sarkozy picked a good one

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Haha! She certainly looks like the flexible sort

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I never knew
you could do that with a suitcase that's for sure
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

80% of the internet is from there.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I love that pic
This is possibly my favourite TOAP though

Well, either that, or this one
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Nope, the second one's good, but "hair is a bird" is a clear winner, I think

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I love that picture

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

and bestial necrophilia
vile
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I no rite
He should be ashamed, the poor girl's grieving.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

nah
he'll just see the vulnerability as opportunity.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

not as furious as the story about the ducks
anyone who has bought duck from waitrose recently should be ashamed of themselves.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Ducks?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

really upsetting story about farm workers
cruelly treating "free-range" ducks by throwing them around. i couldn't watch the footage, it would have made me cry!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Ducks like being thrown around
trufax
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

not by the neck onto a slaughter truck they don't!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

This made me office lol.
The ducks should be gently coaxed on to the truck that will send them to their death
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

no no no
people shouldn't be eating ducks because they are cute.

how about we sling the farmworkers onto the slaughter truck by the neck instead. then we can deal with the overcrowding of the world's population at the same time.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I fucking love eating ducks.
And I don't care whether they're thrown by the neck onto the slaughter truck, or lifted onto it via a cushioned elevator. They're dead either way.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

In all fairness if it was priced right I'd eat people
I have fairly low morals when it comes to food.

I do buy happy egg co eggs though because I believe they taste better and they were on offer
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Ducks reproduce by gang rape

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

and this makes them taste better?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Gang rape makes everything taste better
not just ducks.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

It's meant to make you question their cuteness.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

if i witnessed it
i'd probably be squealing like a girl and trying to rescue the female duck. but that's nature - just because i hate programmes about lions killing things and eating them alive doesn't mean i can stop the lions doing it. one day maybe but not now...

but people have brains, they don't have to hurt the ducks, they can do it humanely!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)

all animals have brains.
what's that got to do with it?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

read this page again
then see if your first statement is correct
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Some of them are smaller, granted.
but chompy's stupidity isn't a valid argument in this case.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

oh come on, that's a bit harsh
he got a 2:2 from reading university, you know.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Gigantic projectile corkscrew wangs.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Welcome, Wookiee.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Morning.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Ducks are indeed very cute
However this doesn't outweigh the fact that they are delicious.

Ditto lambs, rabbits, pheasants, ostriches...erm...what else have I eaten?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

are ostriches cute?
hmmm. funny, comical, random. definitely not deserving of being scranned. but cute?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Ostriches are amazing.
There's nothing quite like looking out of the window of your truck and seeing one keep pace along side you.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Maybe not in the same way as ducks or bunnies, but I'd say they have their own charm
Having said that, if, for some unknown reason, you ended up stuck in a field full of the buggers and they started to peck at you, I imagine you might be gradually more inclined toward their scranworthiness.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Y'know, if I really had to, I'd eat a person
They wouldn't have to be free range either, council flats have that 'battery farm' vibe to them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I wouldn't even need the "really had to" proviso
more, if I could get away with it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

True
I bet some of the /talk lot would produce some excellent crackling.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I was discussing eating my colleagues last week
I reckoned the vegan would taste pretty good as she's basically corn-fed. And the Italian feller probably wouldn't object to being drowned in a barrel of Barrolo.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

He'd drown eventually, but he'd probably have to get out a couple of times to pop to the gents.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

he's an italian
he probably wouldn't bother!

RACISTLOLS!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Ayyy, a beppety-bobbety-boobity!
*gesticulates wildly*
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

You need a moustache for that.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

ducks are fucking delicious

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

But duck is tasty
whereas manual workers aren't
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Duck is fucking delicious
As is lamb, veal, venison, etc.

I've not eaten rabbit in years though, but really want to! I'd even hunt it myself, if I could. Even though they are very cute, especially this guy -

Aww, look at the little fella!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

frankly
I found foie gras so delicious that I'd happily stuff a goose to death myself just so I could eat its liver.

I like animals as animals, but unfortunately I like eating them too.

I watched a QI the other day that was on about giant tortoises not being classified for ages because they were so delicious that none made it back to London.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I've never had foie gras
The only 2 dead animal things I've ever not enjoyed are liver and mackerel.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

foie gras isn't like eating calf's liver or something
and it is fucking lovely.

I like mackerel, but not in the extreme quantities that we tend to catch it in the summer.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I was really disappointed with Mackerel
I'd personally caught it, cleaned it, prepared it and cooked it, and didn't enjoy it. That's just not fucking fair!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)

how did you prepare and cook it?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Hmm, it's been a few years
I think it was scoring the skin on the outside, rubbing salt over it, then pouring some olive oil into the middle of it, before wrapping in newspaper, and putting it on the BBQ.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

well, if you didn't like it like that
then it's not for you!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Aye, that's what was said at the time
I'd do the fishing again tomorrow though, it was ace.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)

we used to go to Beer (best place ever)
hire a little boat and cruise around for a couple of hours, smoking spliffs and reeling in the mackerel. Great fun.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

We were down at Kenmare for this
There was a lot of beer, but no spliffs. Probably for the best tbh!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

TAKE. IT. DOWN.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

With pleasure
*takes aim at cute wittle bunny wabbit*
*shoots it's fucking face off*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I went to Borough Market and saw some of the pretty geese that I saw galavanting around St James' Park hanging on a stall
My sister, who's getting a mini-lop in a couple of weeks, saw some fluffy bunnies. We both got a little upset.

Then again, I love pigs, I think they're adorable, but I eat pig related stuff.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

i think you have to really like the taste to disassociate from it. i don't, so i don't.
i must ask my internet-husband how he copes with cooking chicken right in front of his chicken.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I just don't think about it.
Eating veal was an...interesting experience. Tasty, but interesting.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Eat Rose veal - tasty and with reduced guilt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I don't make a firm habit of eating meat
I ate what was served to me for a weekend for shits and giggles. This turned into about 7 different types of meat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I don't understand why anyone thinks there is anything TO "disassociate"
It's food. It's cute. Why should the two be incompatible? If people stopped being stupid and fucking anthropomorphiscising their pets and their dinner then it would hardly be an issue. I'm sure carrots look cute from some angles.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Why? Because they paid 5 times as much as they should have for it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Psh Waitrose
It's Sainsbury's with ideas above its station. Total scam.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

i like waitrose
or m&s, with the occasional luxury trip to whole foods or harrods food hall if i am cooking for someone i want to impress.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Wow if I'm cooking for someone I want to impress I just wash my hands first

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

it doesn't happen often
most of them get thai takeaway or pizza. if i am going to make the effort to buy food and prepare it and cook it, they have got to be worth it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

It's exactly the same stuff, made by the same Indians
and packaged by the same Poles.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

this is patently wrong
i am usually in there buying lazy-ass ready meals. they are completely different! ok yes lasagne etc, but overall there is a big range of choice and they are different everywhere. plus the high st ken waitrose has an awesome cheese counter.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

They are not completely different,
they are merely priced differently.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Yes it fucking well does
Why can't people link items so they open in a new window so when I close down the news article I don't care about I don't lose my b3ta tab.

ooh it makes me so mad *hulks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Or you could right click > open in new window
or simply close the one tab down. Or, you know, something else that doesn't involve sucking at the internet.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

It's an option in your profile settings duhhhh

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Or you could be less of a spastic and just write that into the link
like normal people do.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Nah
You're getting an 'a href=' and that's your lot. Right click, open in new tab.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Think of the phone browsers!
Won't somebody think of the phone browsers!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Oh, in iOS you can open links in a new 'tab'
Can your BB not do that? (honest question)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

It can, but it involves pressing a different button
plus I don't really like using internet on my phone as it's so much slower than the computer.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Or hold down control, or cmd, on a Mac.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Yarp
Keyboard shortcuts FTW
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

As regards the previous thread
Yes, I'm not a retard. And I wouldn't download just any old app. But no, he seems dead against them.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I didn't have you pegged for a retard

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Oh, pegged
I've not done that in a while.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Me neither

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Maybe next time you end up semi-passed out at Monty's.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

It'll make a nice addition to your oeuvre

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

My poor oeuvre doesn't exactly need anything more adding to it.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Which is why you're giving this time round
don't forget to give him the poppers
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I've never done those
they really don't appeal.

I prefer to do my stretching the REAL way
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

everything but the kitchen sink

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

The kitchen sink massages my breasts.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Just start off slowly, yeah?
It's been a while
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Oh, I will.
Ever scuba dived? I'll start you off with a pony tank, then move onto the real stuff...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I've never scuba dived while being pegged
Both involving reaching new depths though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Oh my god my brain has broken I can't think of any diving puns :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Middle click you mouse wheel.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I don't have a mouse.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Neither does Kitty anymore!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Was that just a set up?
You're a cunt.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

No it was just a bonus insult.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Insult of the day.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Not as furious as this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12363852
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

It does not surprise me.
Neither does the fact that the car visible in the centre of the picture, forcing its way into the next lane and apparently pushing a blue Pug out of the way in doing so, is a convertible 3 series Beemer.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

no
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Don't own, or need, a car
Wouldn't use it to play dodgems on the M25 if I did. If I'm going to London I want to be able to drink on the way there. That's what trains are for.

The only annoying thing about this is that the money wasn't spent on either allowing Forest to outbid Chelsea for Torres or allowing me to convert my office into the CIC from Battlestar Galactica. Complete with Edward James Olmos walking around being gruff and awesome.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Oooh have you seen the new BBC sci fi show outcasts?
As a bsg fan you will love it from 2mins 12 onwards.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I haven't yet
But I heard a vicious rumous that Apollo was in it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)

No it doesn't
the M25 needed widening and any MP who thinks that running cars on the hard shoulder is a sensible solution to the problem is a fucking retard and ought to be kicked in the genitals.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

9 years to sign a contract though?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Do you have any idea of the amount of pre contract work that has to be undertaken
before any company could even vaguely calculate a bid for doing such extensive work?

No, you clearly don't. The engineering involved in this project is enormous, and the fact that it's running on time and under budget is in fact testament to a well planned project.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

9 years? 9 years?
That's surely more time than the actual contract will last?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

probably needed a lot of legal advice on it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

there's an awful lot that could go wrong
I imagine the liabilities alone took a very long time to sort out.

9 years is a long time, but as it's unusual for even a small project to run on time or to budget they are doing quite well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I want to extend my house
To do this I have to have a ground investigation to see how strong the ground is. To get this I have to ask for quotes from various companies, to produce these quotes the companies have to get an idea of what they would expect the project to entail and base their works on that. Once I've got the ground details I have to get a structural engineer to design the extension based on the ground conditions.

But my extension covers about 10 square metres and doesn't have to allow millions of cars a year to drive through it, so a little more advance planning is required, because if a company submits a poor bid it could easily bankrupt itself, which means the project doesn't actually get done.

Again, if you actually understood the scale of the works involved with the widening scheme you would understand this.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

actually understood the scale of the works involved with the widening scheme weren't such a spastic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I'm sorry for agreeing with an actual report
by people who've seen the documents and interviewed the staff involved.
I'm such a spastic.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)

you being a spastic is not because of this report
it just compromises your ability to understand it.

edit: also, what Al and Badger said
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)

They aren't, though.
they are a political focus group with a fucking huge axe to grind.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)

No, you're agreeing with a BBC news article

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

for agreeing with an actual report by people who've seen the documents and interviewed the staff involved.

Well, it's good that you've come to terms with it, and apologised. Maybe soon you can move into big boy pants!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Fucking this
If they start letting everybody drive on the hard shoulder, where is that going to leave those special people who get to drive up it with their hazards flashing to avoid traffic jams?

Presumably they have to pay extra car tax for that privilege, so I don't really think it's fair to take that away from them.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

No.
All that says is "Failure to be able to predict the future has lead to something unpredicable happening"

It's not even fucking news, let along annoying.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I read it totally differently.
Decisions were made based on some excel spreadsheet which probably had some cells in the wrong place.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I think it's the excel bit
that's cutting to your heart on this issue
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Troo

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Maybe someone paperclipped the wrong pages together

(TheColonel, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

:( Don't blame the paperclips

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Why aren't they made of that memory-metal stuff?
Whenever I bend a paperclip to remove dirt from crevices, it's impossible to bend it back perfectly :(
(TheColonel, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

So you then buy a new paperclip.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

I don't know anybody who sells them.

(TheColonel, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)

To the Dragon's Den!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)

The Staperclip©
(TheColonel, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Genius - we'll make them for £1 each and sell them for a fiver a pop
Over their lifetime they'll easily repay the investment to the customer.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

You take care of all production/advertising/distribution
And I'll bring the sandwiches
(TheColonel, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

the major financial issue
above all others was that it took that long to plan that the credit crunch massively increased the cost. but as Al says, they're hardly building a new conservatory.

The other "cost error" bit is irrelevant as hard shoulder running is not a viable solution for the M25. A blind retard could tell them that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)

maybe if there were better public transport
not so many people would have to drive on it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

public transport outside a city is never going to replace the car
and to think it could is ridiculous.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

not replace it
but it could help. i am thinking for instance of my journey when i worked in uxbridge. i was one of many cars clogging up the a40 and m40 with only one person in it, both in and out of london. even though the tube went from kensington to uxbridge. but the tube was so unbelievably shite and took so much longer than it should have done, that i inevitably ended up in the car. as did half the office. if they ran more and better services, people would sometimes leave the cars at home, which would help.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I'll give you that
commuter routes like that would help.

Thinking of down this way though, the park and ride buses are really quite good from the centre to the business parks and stuff, but for anything else it is basically essential to have a car.

Mine has been a bit knackered recently and not having one is just not an option. My parents live about 10 miles away and I wouldn't be able to see them at all because of how shit the public transport is.

If the old train lines all existed still I'd be using the train a shitload. As an outside I have a lot of appreciation for the underground etc. in London.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

You can't listen to Number of The Beast on full volume on a train

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

that is true
I've been listening to the heaviest music I can get my hands on recently. That would not go down well on a train.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Like what?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Biomechanical, Strapping Young Lad, that sort of stuff
I've been breaking out my old CDs as well, so have been listening to Coal Chamber and Kill II This and stuff too.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Strapping Young Lad are superb
Have you seen Primus are touring btw?

Recently I've been listening to Hateform, they're heavy as fuck.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Indeed
I have not seen that. I will tell my ginger bass player, he'll love that.

Not heard Hateform, I'll check them out. I've been finding that I need really heavy music (although not constant shouty/screamy) so if you have any suggestions then fire them my way.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Can't go wrong with a bit of Fear Factory.
The Berzerker's later stuff is less insane than the earlier, mainly growled, but fucking superb. Especially keep an eye out for 'All About You'.

Have you heard any Evile?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

mmm, Fear Factory
been a while.

I've not heard either The Bezerker or Evile. I've been out of the metal game for quite a while, so am trying to catch up with the help of a few worthy individuals. Lab has been reasonably helpful ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Evile are balls-to-the-wall thrash
Saw them at Bloodstock after a pitiful first day, they reminded me why I was there, put me in a fantastic mood. I'm also going to see them tomorrow night, should be fucking superb.

The Berzerker used to be mentally heavy, very OTT. Their drummer is phenomenal though. It used to be claimed that their drummer couldn't do it live, so they released rehearsal footage, which shut people up in quite a hurry.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Evile are good thrash, but I found The Berzerker too death-y for me
I have one of the new Fear Factory songs on repeat, Mechanize is powerful!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Berzerker are one of the bands where I can see why many people don't like them
I just think they're superb, saw them a few years back as part of a full day gig, met them afterwards. Fucking brilliant night.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I saw them years ago in Manchester
A mate told me they had gabba/hardcore influences. I was disappointed.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Well, certainly not the way I'd describe them
Although I think I'd use the word 'fucking' quite a few times.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

*SYL highfives*
Going to put some on now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Bit o' Hevy Devy?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Indeed!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Must admit, I prefer SYL to his solo stuff

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Get a good pair of headphones, you can

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Then you go deaf
Cars are brillinat - you get your own space, no one has volited on your chair, you can listen to wahtever you like on the radio, there is heating and air conditioning, they leave when you want and go to where you want to go, no one will stab you and you don't feel like a failure using one.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I'm not in London, so none of the problems in terms of stabbing bother me
Plus, it only costs me £10 per week, I'd say I'm a winner in comparison.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

don't live in kensington, then.
The public transport network can't exist for one person's convenience. And the tube has to run that slowly for various reasons, a major one being the infrastructure. upgrading that costs a lot more than a road. And we're back to massive tax increases again....
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Piss off with your sensible answer
Anyway it's not like she's going to live in Uxbridge is it?!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I know, I'm a right cunt.
Still, I wouldn't wish living in Uxbridge on anyone.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Yeah .. because we've done so well at voting in politicians that support public transport
haven't we? You're entirely correct, but then that would require a socialist government and massive tax increases to fund the public transport infrastructure ... and I'm guessing you're not keen on those?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Is anybody keen on those?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I am

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

people are keen on loads of stuff being done
with magic money pulled out of the sky with no compromise or reductions in other areas.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

This is the labour way - ten years of false accounting

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Sorry, how did that false accounting allow us to enter the global economic crisis
with one of the lowest national debts in the world?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

happy coincidence

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Other countries with truely enormous National debts are not a great bench mark
Also our figures do not take into account public service pension liabilities and PFIs - these are absolutely enormous.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

i honestly wouldn't mind being raped of 3k a month
if i was happy with what they spent it on though. they should totally implement my idea of being able to allocate where you want your taxes to go.... the NHS would be flooded with cash, as would schools and transport. meanwhile, who would be allocating funds to "pay rises for MPs" or "lesbian quangos to talk about the effects of neck slinging on ducks and its far reaching consequences for eastern european migrants"?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

that is a stupid idea.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I'd want my taxes to fund a research group
Who look into ways to make sure I pay a lot less tax.
OH WAIT, rich folk do this all the time!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

If you were rich and coule work to pay as little tax as possible would you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

yes
I don't blame them at all.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

This

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Yeah, and banning christmas, that wouldn't be allowed either. Fucking Political Correctness gone mad.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Well, probably some people are
I'm not offering that as a sensible solution, just to point the rather large issue with rswipes theory
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

not the people who have to pay them
but we've had this argument. i'm bored with saying controversial things about high taxes because even al and chompy won't rise to them any more.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Al's rising as we speak ^
I pay far to much tax and take fuck all back, I almost want to get ill/robbed/fired so I can get some value for money!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:17, Reply)

this is kind of how i feel
i have private healthcare and i never even use that; i have no kids; if everyone were as law-abiding as i am there would be no need for the police... oh well. when i have my own island it will be fine.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Maybe there should be a rebate for people that don't use any services or who have private health care/schooling etc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I can't tell if you are serious or not....
I also have private healthcare and dental and stuff, and am a horrible bastard who doesn't like anyone but I still appreciate that I am a part of society and as such don't mind paying to be such.

edit: if I were rich enough that it would make a difference then I'd definitely try and pay less though. Contradicatory? perhaps, but it is the truth.

You could always turn into The Goat and live off grid.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Communist!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

far from it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Witch!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I hate you.
I hope she rejects your strawberry cake offering of desperate love
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

ha this sounds like gossip with hilarious consequences
spread, i could do with a laugh this morning. esp after aa posted that rabbit picture up there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)

You make it sound like I'm such a terrible bastard...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I'm going to go out on a limb and say
Chompy made a girl a strawberry cake because he fancies this girl and would like to court her.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

or bought a reeeeeally cheesy valentine's card maybe?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I bet it said "I love ewe", with a picture of a fluffy sheep on it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

and
'u light up my lyfe' inside
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

oddly enough
my hardcore cynical american flatmate has bought her bf a card with two fluffy sheep on it and something of the sort. i had to stare at it wondering if i was missing something because it seemed so unlike her.

i am very smug about the one i am sending this year; sometimes you just find the perfect card. meanwhile my secretary is already complaining about the first sack of cards that i am making her open because i don't have time...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

It's bad enough you steal other peopls mail
but to make your secretary complicit is even worse.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

haha
wait

boohoo
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Will Chloroform stay active after a couple of days in the post?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Yet again the shitehawk is totally misreading a question I asked her about strawberry cake
which was because kristine asked about icing those cakes yesterday.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

That was a question kristine asked.
Anyway she's been strange since the weekend so I'm going to have to kill myself.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Fuck off Maximinimus

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

No one understands me,
oh my god I'm so very lonely. Who wants a gaz?
you're a girl right labs?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Obviously, otherwise I'd be called Scrotum or Glans

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

yiff yiff.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)