Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Long thread is long, and rather dull.Tell me an amazing fact about you which will make me say 'wow!' and write your name down on my list of those with aceness.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:13, 248 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
some people just don't have amazing facts about themselves, P Dizzle(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:14,
Reply)
My suaveness is legendary.A/C
Although it was being denied by Bella and Amberl only last night.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:36, Reply)
Just because I'd liketo look like Christina Hendricks does not make it so.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:12,
Reply)
Basicallyjust because I want something to be true does not make it so :)
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:25,
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You feeling more chippa this evening Amberl?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:26,
Reply)
Yeah I got it.Just wanted to crack out a geeky phrase.
This is the internet after all.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:27, Reply)
My whistling is a bit hit and miss.Handy for the dogs though.
(
girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:22,
Reply)
I can skip with my own arms.although maybe that's not "Wow" so much as "eurgh..."
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:19, Reply)
*looks at arms**looks at legs*
*ponders momentarily*
Dude - what the hell?!
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:21, Reply)
Poppet is 'The king of the swingers'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:27,
Reply)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOcyYyxqN_g
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:34,
Reply)
hahahahaI've not seen that in years.
*Requests a right turn*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:54,
Reply)
Well this is something I didn't know about you.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:33,
Reply)
Too late to break it off now sunshine.You're stuck with the freak.
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girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:34,
Reply)
this is very true.It would come in handy if I were handcuffed though.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:40, Reply)
I have had many piercings.I only know two other guys that have their belly button pierced.
Most chaps reckon it is Darth Foxtrot level banditry.
Girls with piercings tend to be cute.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:23, Reply)
Nipple tongue lip ears septumAnd I did say 'tend to', not 'are always'.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:26, Reply)
I've had all those except septumI thought about it, but my sister just got it done, so I didn't.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:35, Reply)
I took mine out a few years ago.And I just remembered, like a tremendous eejit, that I also have my eyebrow pierced.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:37, Reply)
OIPlus, I never said it was a competition, I was just saying I've never had it.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:59, Reply)
What, you tell me to LTI, then say that you're over me, now you act like you care?Either you care or you don't care.
If you don't then fine, I will just cry myself to sleep.
If you do, then let's make it work.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:36, Reply)
Woo!So, where do you want to get hitched then?
Also, have you any good assets that I'd get in the event of your unfortunate demise?
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:44, Reply)
My house.My decks, my records, my videogame equipment, my books, my cufflinks and my Fiona Bruce shrine.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:46, Reply)
ScoreI've got two cats and a massive collection of shoes. No incentive for you to kill me :)
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:50, Reply)
Which is of more value to you, the Mo Wax records or the Fiona Bruce shrine?(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:52, Reply)
Well, monetary would probably be the recordsBut I'd keep the Bruce shrine forever as a proxy-shrine to you.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:58, Reply)
I'm all sweetness and light, innit?I thought that's why you were marrying me?
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:10, Reply)
I had no idea.But you look great as a redhead, so it doesn't matter to me.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:29, Reply)
Nuh-uh, you started itBut I'm stopping it now. We don't want anyone reading this threat to vomit, honeybunch.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:39, Reply)
Uh, you started it with the marriage proposal.And if we make people sick then I just don't care baby, not one bit.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:41, Reply)
See? I told you we'd upset peopleNow stop it, sweetcheeks.
EDIT: Although there's a good chance that Amberl's just jealous.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:45, Reply)
I'd be less sickened if this wasn't all the way over on the right of the page.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:47,
Reply)
Stating facts is not the same as pandering.I notice that the pandatron was absent from when I put you on the same list as Fiona.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:01, Reply)
You were just being nice to an old lady.It's not the same thing.
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girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:02,
Reply)
It so is.Fiona's older than you as well, so it's entirely the same thing.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:03, Reply)
Was this one taken the last time she had to fight you off.
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girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:09,
Reply)
I actually find that photo strangely arousing.It's because I want to find out who did it and kick the fuck out of him.
Then go to her and comfort her.
And she's topless.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:10, Reply)
Well the old bint is looking good for her age.*old bint high-fives Fiona*
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girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:17,
Reply)
She's gorgeous.Brains and beauty.
And elegance.
Just like you BGB, just like you.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:19, Reply)
I didn't realize there were that many things to pierce.(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:45,
Reply)
I've hadLip x3
Tongue
Nose x2
Belly button x2
Surface bars x10
Dermals x4
Nipple x2
Scaffolds x6
Orbital x3
Then the rest are just random piercings in my ears (I have 14 at the moment, but have had probably double that)
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:58, Reply)
are these re-piercings? or all different spots?I've had my tongue done 3 times, both eye brows, nose 3 times, nipple twice, industrial twice, lip twice
only have the industrial and lip currently
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:03,
Reply)
BGB means ladybitsBut I know someone who accidentally ripped hers out :(
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:17, Reply)
probablybut I have a hard time with piercings, it's rare that I can keep one in
and that's some precious material down there, don't want to be causing harm to her
(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:36,
Reply)
HmmBellybutton and nipple I've had re-pierced.
Everything else is seperate.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:16, Reply)
damnwhich dermals do you have?
I wanted to get a surface piercing on my neck a while ago but it was fairly new and freaked me out a bit.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:22,
Reply)
I had 3 dermals going down the top of my spineBut I kept bashing them before they healed and they came out. I just have one on my wrist now.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:29, Reply)
eerrgghhhdo they hurt? I'd like to get one on my cheek
(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:36,
Reply)
NoBut you have to be prepared for scarring wherever you have them, so I wouldn't get a facial one. That's the reason I didn't get a cleavage one.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:48, Reply)
I can put my legs behind my headwhich is unusual for a broad 6'2" bugger
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:23,
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im seeing chas n' dave next month(
rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:24,
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I hope your expectations aren't too high.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:24,
Reply)
Woah there!!!!You wash out your cunting mouth.
Have you seen them live?
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:27,
Reply)
I have.(Clearly I was trying to shoehorn a 'There ain't no pleasin' you' pun into the conversation, and you've just ruined it.)
GERTCHA.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:28,
Reply)
Well so have Iloads of times and they're boss and they do all this good blues stuff, and the only one I don't like is Mr Woogie.
EDIT:
Thank fuck. I was going to have to shun you.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:29,
Reply)
cunts backtracking up thereBEEP BEEP BEEP
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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:30,
Reply)
I've got my beady eye on him now.Any derogatory C&D remarks will be sniffed out.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:35,
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I know. It;s just not my thing.Nana isn't fussy on it either.
On one of the MANY TIMES I have met Dave, I introduced Nana (who's probably not much older than him) and she said "Hiya Dave, hold on a minute while I put me glasses on luv. I can't see ya."
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:37,
Reply)
Chas Hodges is one of the finest rock pianists.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:39,
Reply)
Really properly is,I'm assuming you know about I've Got The?
I mean, you're JeffTheFactGiver
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:40,
Reply)
Sorry, it's I Got The."In the 1970s Chas & Dave were prominent session musicians, playing for a wide range of artists; for instance - the hook used on Eminem's "My Name Is" was taken from a Labi Siffre tune, "I Got The", on which Chas & Dave performed."
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:44,
Reply)
I knew the Eminem hook info (well, in so much that an Eminem track sampled a bit of C&D) but not what track.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:47,
Reply)
I knew it was Labi Siffre before I ever knew it had the lads on it(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:47,
Reply)
I last saw Chas and Dave at Glastonbury.When did you last see them?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:53,
Reply)
Liverpoola couple of years ago.
In fact I've only seen them four or five times.
Always Liverpool and all. But now I'm going to the farewell tour in London.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:54,
Reply)
When it comes to parallel parkingI'm the fuckin' master.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:24,
Reply)
I'm actually making the effort to practise and I am slowly getting better.(
girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:25,
Reply)
I'm better at that than any other kind of parkingit was a lot more fun to do in a mini than it is in a fiesta, though.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:28, Reply)
Pffft, you!sex in a mini is a lot harder than parallel parking in one.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:30, Reply)
Unless it has a sunroof.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:44,
Reply)
I can get my legs behind my heador at least, I can when I've stretched properly first and stuff. I've just tried to do it now and I think something has gone *ping* which shouldn't have done.
I can also touch type without looking at the keyboard (I don't find this particularly impressive but it really freaks out a couple of people that I work with)
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:29, Reply)
Oh, we've moved on.I've been interviewed on national radio and TV, about being a professional eBay type person.
EDIT: and I've been on Popmaster. didin't win, though. I lost on a tiebreaker.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:36,
Reply)
Alright Gary?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:45,
Reply)
*Punches arm*I don't get on here much on account of, you know, "being busy".
*taps nose and winks*
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:46,
Reply)
Don't mind if I do, Gaz.How's "business"?
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:48,
Reply)
Slow, Guv, slow.(Is it fuck, I'm cleaning up round here!)
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:51,
Reply)
would you like to come and clean up round here?Honestly, this place is a hauf.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:53,
Reply)
Oh this is like a hooer's midden at the mobut I'm not well. Got the night off the pub.
If I take this washing out and put the bedding in, OR do some mopping, then I'm not a bad girl.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:56,
Reply)
Marvellous to hear it.My old nemesis Big Kenny bought some merchandise a few weeks ago for about £35m. Reckons it's an investment. Little does he know that his investment going to be involved in another horrific accident involving an underwear model and a bar stool... "He'll NEEEEVER walk again..."
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:56,
Reply)
How exciting.Are you getting your hair done?
Oops! been and not are. Sorry!
Did you get your hair done?
(
girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:39,
Reply)
I did for the radio interview.but for the TV interview I looked fucking awful. Added to my Violet Elizabeth Bott accent, and my trying to sound knowledgeable, and I came across as a right fucking twat.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:46,
Reply)
Good woman.It still sucks though.
Wonder if Wolf is a good cook.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:01,
Reply)
Meal times would be class. "Barry, you will eat on my first whistle" etc.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:08, Reply)
I remember seeing an interview with him oncebanging on about how much he loved his mother.
Came across a bit Jimmy Saville, really.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:10,
Reply)
and he could tell you bedtime stories about that one time Ulrika boffed the entire male castincluding that Scottish referee guy.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:12, Reply)
More importantly, Barry could have fixed me up with Jet.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:15,
Reply)
Has she not.I've not seen her on the telly in about 20 years, what does she look like these days?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:25,
Reply)
Diners READYYY!3-2-1 *blows whistle*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:13,
Reply)
That is the most brilliant (and random) post ever.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:52,
Reply)
My mum went out with him for six years, broke up with him and met my dad pretty much straight after and then had me.When she told me about it I didn't speak to her for about two days, I was *this* close to being the son of a Gladiator.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:59, Reply)
You do know how sperms work, right?(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:03,
Reply)
Wolf was 10 points ahead of Barry's dadSo his sperm had a 5 second headstart.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:14,
Reply)
Stan Boardman fancied my mum and based his whole I HATE THE GERMANS act around her.(
girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:56,
Reply)
Did your mum bomb Stan's local chippy?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:57,
Reply)
What a dirty Fokker!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:59,
Reply)
HAHA A GLASWEGIAN COUNTERFEIT CIGGY FELLA JUST SAID TO THE BBC WOMAN"I'll give you a doing hen, if you don't go away"
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 20:53,
Reply)
Was there some delition? I don't mind if there was, it's just that I want to know that I'm not losing the plot.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:38,
Reply)
All my life I've been good but now.And iiiiIIIIIIIiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIiii am thinking What. The hell.
All I want is to mess, around.
And iiiiiiIIIIiiiiiiiiIIIIIiiiiII don't really care about.
If you loooooove me, if you hate me, you can save me, baby baby.
I fucking love a new a cracking new Avril Lavign album.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:30,
Reply)
How can someone as cool as you Gonz have such shit taste in music?(
girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
I've noticed that.The Will Smith fandom is a bit disturbing to be honest.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:37, Reply)
Maybe just wants to be able to hang on to those ears.Then ride him like Seabiscuit.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:41, Reply)
I'm off to bed.Unlike Fiona, I need my beauty sleep.
(
girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:45,
Reply)
Copy'n'paste from a message I sent to some on OKCupid.I've had an idea for a film for a little while now, since I was about 14 years old, and I was wondering if I could get your feedback on it. It's been adapted over the years, and I'm still looking for funding for it (Will Smith demands $8m for a film these days, which currently eats up 800,000% of my current budget). It's actually two films.
Basically, in it's current form... Will Smith and Jacky Chan are time traveling cops who are chasing Jason Statham throughout history. Jason is trying to re-write history, but it all goes wrong so many times. That's how the common cold happened, he traveled back to the Triassic period and sneezed into a pool of glop. They'll travel back'n'forth but when they come back, things would be different, not necessarily bad, just different; like the Romans never relinquishing power in the renaissance period; Africa becoming a world super-power; Air travel never happening; The Black Plague wiping out europe for mankind. Sometimes there would be positive effects, the cure for cancer or aids being discovered; Women being the dominant sex; world peace.... etc.
There will be two films, the first one will place Jason as a bad guy and focus on Will and Jacky. The second one will be from Jason's point of view, where he's just trying to rectify his original mistake of going back in time.
Will Smith will say at least 5 times "Awww HELL No" and Jacky will rub his forehead vigorously when he bumps it by accident.
So, that is my film. I estimate it'll be No.1 in the charts for as long as that Brian Adams song, I just need someone to write the script, hire the studios and actors/actresses/staff and find investors into the film. They will not be allowed to make a third one.
Anyway, your input into the film would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Paul.
P.S - I'm very pleased that Warren is back in the 'oaks, I'm really enjoying the power-struggle with Braiden.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:43,
Reply)
You are absolutely magic GonzI fixed the stupid picture things by the way.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:49, Reply)
o0o0o0oh ace !I got stuck home on the tube (a 50 min journey took about double that) and forgot about it. Pleased it's sorted though =)
I'm watching "Rock'n'Chips" at the moment, it's a telly show about the early years of Del Boy and Trotter, it's brillient.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:55,
Reply)
Oh, I saw thatI liked it. I did another post too. I'm like a machine today :)
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:57, Reply)
Awesomeness ! I'll give them a read when I had off too bed =)(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:05,
Reply)
What's his face from the Inbetweeners stars in it doesn't he?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:00,
Reply)
0o0o0oh. don't tell me, I guess it's something to do with their 'rents and how they ended up with Albert, but don't say any more.I had a little tear in my eye on the tube today reading Nigel Slater's "Toast", it's what he doesn't say about things that got me, bit close to the bone.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:05,
Reply)
I watched the screen adaptation of Toast when it was on the tellybox.Is the book good?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:13,
Reply)
It's not the best book I've read, but I have enjoyed it mostly. He leaves out quite a lot in the book, eg, they'll be a chapter that'll end with something horrific happening, but the horrific thing would only take up at most two sentances.I really really enjoyed the film, there is a lot in the film that isn't mentioned in the book and visa-versa.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:32,
Reply)
Let me know what you think of it when you finish it.I'll be interested to know if it's worth a read.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:34,
Reply)
Will do =) I reckon this week it'll be done.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:48,
Reply)
No. YOU make me sick.*No returns*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:54,
Reply)
I'll fucking well return stuff if I want to.It's my statuesque right.
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thealternativefact, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:56,
Reply)
*Fingers in ears*Blah, blah, blah, not listening.....
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:56,
Reply)
*Takes fingers out of ears*Sorry, did you say something?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 23:00,
Reply)
Because Jeff won't pull his dick out of that poodle,I am starting a new sub thread doon here.
Aight?
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 23:00, Reply)
*Wipes cock on dog bed*See you there.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 23:01,
Reply)
*sniff* It's OK.Some new shoes or jewellery might make me feel better though.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 23:21, Reply)
This is getting a bit weirdI may be dapper and elegant, and I am an impeccable accessoriser, but you are confusing me with Darth Foxtrot.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 23:34, Reply)
You're talking to someone who owns 100 pairs of shoesThere really, really isn't.
(, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 23:48, Reply)
You sick bastard.Double Gloucester with chives is acceptable though. That would make me smile. The Housemate just gave me some of his awesome chilli cheese, it's so good that it's a bit wrong.
(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 0:22, Reply)
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