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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Too much bloody politics on here today so have this.
What must you have soon or you will burst?
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girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:02,
189 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
I just remembered I've needed a wee since I got up at 8.30thanks.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:04,
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I'm tempted to say hugsbut I'll go with some diet coke, to go with this amazing cupcake I bought yesterday
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:05,
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Was in London yesterdayand after my food-binge I bought cupcakes from the Hummingbird bakery. I'm not generally a fan of such sweet stuff, but these are so good
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:08,
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We have McVities Wholewheat in the office todayExcellent - but they are not the plain chocolate ones (which are the best biscuits in the world)
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:09,
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No chance.Milk Chocolate Hobnobs are the best.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:10,
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They are goodbut Wholewheat remind me of being a kid
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:11,
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Your parents were very cruel to you.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:13,
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Yeah, those chocolate biscuits I got really fucked me up
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:22,
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Well you are a massive, sweaty fat cuntso in a sense they certainly didn't help.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:32,
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first laugh of the day here(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:07,
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Taking it back to the old skool there.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:31,
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I was browsing my old QOTW posts and realised that we haven't had a bit of sid for a long time.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:37, Reply)
Who was it who really hated them?Was it Chompers?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:41,
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Nah she brutally rejected him(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:48,
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Sorry everyone, these are shit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:49,
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She's smoked my pipe enough times, I suppose.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:48,
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they won't, you know
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:00,
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haha saw that a couple of days agobut they taste good enough, not to matter
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:01,
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I bought some the other dayso therefore I must be a paedo. Although at least it was only from Waitrose, not some terrifying cupcake shop of twee.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:03,
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YepLots more..... I am used to not much sleep but today has tipped me over the edge
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:10,
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I think you might appreciate something...
And I'm very hungover, so I need sleep :-(
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:07,
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Well that's me all hot and bothered for the day.Thankyou :(
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girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:08,
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I need sleep.In fact balls to the daft amount of work I have to get done, I'm going back to bed. Au revoir.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:08, Reply)
Is your bed made up of a pile of coats which fell off the back of a lorry?(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:10, Reply)
that's the mattressthe base is made from two hundred empty Innocent Veg pots lashed together
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:12,
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By "work" he means carefully removing the security tags without causing any damage.(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)
I wish. Back when I was nabbing food in order to live I never had the bottle to steal anything of any worth to anyone. People who nab proper things from massive shops are fearless loons.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)
The "I have to steal food to live" argument works, barely,when you're stealing staples to keep yourself fed. Once you're on to "Oh I really like *expensive poncy foodstuff*, I'll steal that" it falls down a bit.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:42, Reply)
I don't think Innocent veg pots can be considered poncy. I don't think anything you put in the microwave can be considered poncy.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:55, Reply)
well it would workexcept for the tiny flaw of only not have the money to buy food because you've spent it all on fags, booze and clothes.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:02,
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I smoke, which works out at three quid every three days. I don't drink at all really, no. Less than four or five pints a month.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:19, Reply)
for the fagsconsiderably more, I'll wager, for the dope, no? Consider the booze statement retracted though.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:24,
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I think he's lying about the booze thoughsince he's been on here several times complaining of being hungover.
So he either is a liar, or someone else buys all his drinks and he's a cheap cunt.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:38, Reply)
I'd have thoughtthe ketamine costs more. Does it leave you with a hangover?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:41,
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I smoke roll ups (Amber Leaf 12.5g pouches) and don't smoke dope, it's horrible. (, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 15:02, Reply)
I know how to do that. only because my district manager showed me. She's stupid.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:35,
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I wouldn't half mind some cuddles.man, that would be nice
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:14,
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What about the big brown bundle of bouncyness you own.Surly she likes cuddles too?
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girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:15,
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Benji is lovely for cuddling.Biscuit doesn't really stop still long enough.
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girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:26,
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they're small dogs, right?mines 70lbs, so she's like trying to cuddle with a midget wrestler that insists on elbow dropping you in order to sit
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:32,
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If I didn't really need to go to the gym after work, I'd go to my parent's house and have a nap on the sofa cuddling Benji.(
girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:37,
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A fucking holidayA curry
A coffee
A wank
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:24,
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A literally titanic dose of MASSIVE DRUGGES.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:31,
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They keep wearing off. I find it most irksome.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:34,
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Have you got some new slippers that you're looking to christen?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:36,
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If we told you, we'd have to kill you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:38,
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Or at the very leastBeat you over the head either either a newspaper or a scatter cushion until the stuffing comes out.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:40,
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I'd much prefer a beating on the bottom with a copy of woman's weekly.(
girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:44,
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I'm always on the lookout for a good slipper-spewing.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:38,
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You know your problem?You've got too much of *that*.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:41,
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If you could get some sort of tatto that would mean it constantly feeds drugs into you at a curtain rate and you can't turn it off... would you go for it?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:25,
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I hope that on saturday you have to workand not only get stuck in your office, but a protestor cuddles you too.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:43, Reply)
I'd imagine Swipe would rather stay hidden in her expensive office than come into contact with the great unwashed.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:44,
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She'd be scared that she might meet someone who earned less than herand it would through her entire belief system into chaos.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:48, Reply)
She'd have to replace everything they touched.Actually, this might be just what we need to kick-start the economy.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:48, Reply)
i would agree wholeheartedly with this ideaif only all the shops weren't going to be closed because of the protestors (not that i would actually be caught dead shopping on oxford street, not being a tourist)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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Plus, there's much more exclusively expensive tat you could be buying instead.(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:12, Reply)
nopeit's mostly the same tat. just surrounded by a much better class of shopper.
and no belming helmet with a microphone berating people for being WINNERS or SINNERS.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:16,
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It must be lovely to have enough money to give yourself such a sense of superiority.(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:17, Reply)
She gets that from being extraordinarily clever and extremely hard-working, I'd imagine.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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She's a solicitor Monty, she's not a fucking brain surgeon or something.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:36, Reply)
If you think people's intelligence is determined by their jobyou're a fucking halfwit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:40,
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certain professions are defined by your intellectual ability to do them, absolutely.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:50,
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now alall this does is show your own lack of extraordinary cleverness...
as before. monty said it best!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:41,
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Don't think it's the moneyedit: Monty said it best
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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It was praise of swipeso hardly hostile
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:35,
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this is why i love you so muchwell it's one of many reasons.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:42,
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Like *that*, they are.Cwooargh.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:35,
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it is. but don't forget my brains and looks and wonderful personality (awwwww thanks guys xx)as a serious response, if you were from london, you'd know exactly what i mean about oxford street. only people who have zero idea or who don't stray further east than selfridges can cope with it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:40,
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You still up in Oxford for a bit this Easter?(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:42,
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If you can help it don't stray into Central London at all except for eating.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)
Has that bloke been exterminated yet?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:31,
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yeah welli hope you get cancer of the cock and it turns painfully red and then purple and then black and falls off in agonising pain and sex becomes only a dim and distant memory and your wife leaves you for someone who can actually put out.
so there.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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I'm not the most touchy feely woman on the planet but even I like a good cuddle.(
girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:44,
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You're being very demanding today.*Gives Blousie a hug*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:57,
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Little bitBut also, and I really hate myself for saying this, I want to spend some time with him and be able to hug him and stuff :(
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)
^ ThisMet him online, went to stay with him a week or so ago (about 8 hrs coach from where I live). I'm seeing him this weekend! *GLESS*
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Argh!Tiredness meant I read my own post as Sinitta for some reason
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:14,
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'Bent bastard' I think.Or Brian Blessed.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:56,
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Ohhh, I just saw your sig!How did I not notice that before?
*feels silly*
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:51, Reply)
I would have said beer, but I've just been to the pub.Therefore logic dictates I reply with; a piss
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:59, Reply)
You have got me in quite the quandry here now.I want to go to the pub but it's my day off, and I had fully intended to spend it refusing to change out of my PJs or leave the house.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)
No that's 'rolling around on the floor'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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I do notMayeb I don't get it, but it seems to be desperately unfunny
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:12, Reply)
Chapter 15 of the Ernesto Guevara tome 'How to smash the system as a shut-in'(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:13,
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That's the splendid thing about beerit's available in portable form. Drink it in your PJs
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:07,
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None in the house.I'd have to go to the shop. I wish I was chavvy enough to go there in my PJs, but I'm really not.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:08, Reply)
How far to walk is the pub you work in?I'm sure they wouldn't object to you drinking in your PJs. You can break one of your two resolutions for the sake of a beer
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:08, Reply)
About 30 seconds.While I'm sure I wouldn't get kicked out, I'd really rather the regulars didn't see me like this.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:09, Reply)
You're hardly on the pull now though are you?And it might stop some of them trying to sex you
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:11, Reply)
Nah they'd start having a go at me for enjoying my day off and not spending it down t'pit or something.They see no irony in calling me lazy for not being up at the crack of dawn when I worked until 3 a.m. the night before when they spend all day in the pub, of course.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)
+but so rightas they are all tight arses
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:18,
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My father is a YorkshiremanHence my inability to make a joke at Bella's expense without the bitter sting of recrimination
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:21, Reply)
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:23,
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Eh, you have a BB nowIf it's possible for my chances of fucking you to diminish, they have. Whimper in the face of my unbridled wit!
No I wouldn't
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:26, Reply)
A holiday please, somewhere warmIt's a beautiful day here in W London and all I can do is watch it waste away outside my window...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:03,
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In in North Finchley and it's grey and a little chilly.MORE NEWS AS IT HAPPENS.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:09,
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*SPECIAL REPORT*Sunny in Newcastle
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:10,
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I heard it is flodded with sarcastic cunts as well?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:11,
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A Tayyabs.I'm really in the fucking mood for one now.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:07,
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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I considered posting something like thisbut then I considered what score I would give myself and decided against it. However in Monty's place I would give this at least a six on the grounds of extra imagination.
Over to you, Mr Boyce
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:11, Reply)
Unusual strikethrough is unusualEntertaining though. I'd mark at a generous 7/10
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:13,
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0/10 because NakedApe is a fucking 'helmand province'.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:13,
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This is exactly why it's for the best that only I do marks out of ten(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)
See aboveTwo insults and no marks
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:21,
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THIS^I had an Indian takeaway on Saturday and it was rubbish.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:09,
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Bad curries really can be fucking awful can't they?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:14,
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JalfreziIt was more like a fucking Korma
Shoddy work indeed Indian people. Must do better. Naan bread was OK though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:16,
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My curry last night was lovely.The lamb was fantastic.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:23,
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This was basicallychicken, peppers (raw) and tomato (halved, raw) in a bland sauce. I shall not be returning
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:24,
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I too enjoyed a fantastic Jalfrezi last weekAlthough when I say last week I meant about 11 years ago, and when I said Jalfrezi I meant blow job while I woke up.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:24, Reply)
+ and when I say enjoyed I meant gave(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:27,
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Look, I'm reliving my greatest hits heredon't start any of that shit.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:29, Reply)
I've just had a power nap.I think I feel better now.
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girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:15,
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I wonder what would happen if you give someone an enema enema.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:23,
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If you'd have turned up the sex party on Saturday you'd have found out.There were Yop enemas and everything.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:25,
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Didn't know you were a Quireboys fan, Monty!(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:33,
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Jesus Christ I am most certainly not.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:51,
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