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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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If there were B3ta user top trump cards
who would you rate and with what powers?
(I helped save b3ta! dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 7:16, 167 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Monty Boyce
Age: 37
Facial Hair: 7
Other Half: 10
Finance: 1
MASSIVE DRUGS: 10 (or 0, depending on how you look at it)
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 8:39, Reply)
Rachelswipe
Age: EARLY thirties you cheeky bastard.
Facial Hair: 2
Other Half: 9 (bob note)
Past Partners: -2
Trolling Skill: 3
Meme Factor: 4
Flounce Risk: 4
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)
Kroney: other half comment: 10

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)
you may both EAT SHIT AND DIE!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:03, Reply)
I would put his facial hair at 5.
The other half rating is spot on though.

Urgh I replied in the wrong place. I am still asleep.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)
Darth Foxtrot
Age: 36
Trolling Skill: 0
Meme Factor: 10
Flounce Risk: 3
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 8:49, Reply)
Bert Monkeysex
Age: 30s
Troll Skill: 7
Meme Factor: 12
Flounce Risk: 14

He's a powerful card, that one.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 8:52, Reply)
Flounce risk should be 0
The cunt's been banned getting on for 10 times, getting him to fuck off voluntarily was not remotely possible.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)
BGB
Breasts: 11
Awesomeness: 12
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:00, Reply)
sportscow
pandering: eleventy
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:03, Reply)
Not pandering at all
She has excellent boobage
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:08, Reply)
I would be a mere shell of a woman without the pandering I get here.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:09, Reply)
Is today looking any better than yesterday?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Not really but it will pass.
I drank champagne last night because I ran out of wine.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:12, Reply)
You make this sound like a bad thing?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)
Champagne is for celebrating, not drowning your sorrows.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:14, Reply)
Ah, you have a point.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Pish.
Champagne is merely a sparkling wine and is thus suitable for whatever occasion you feel like drinking it on.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Heston Blumminhellhowdoyouspellhisname
used a soda stream & a cheap bottle of plonk to make bubbly.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)
Just drink the wine and fuck the bubbles.
Or drink prosecco if you must.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)
tsch. Pandering is measured on the bamboo scale.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Hehe!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:03, Reply)
x2 if you were at the Great Bash of 2010.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)
SYFTS
Age: 6 3/4
location: -17
cooking skillz: 9
nunchuck skillz: 4
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:04, Reply)
6 3/4.
I love you Ape.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)
FreeFair
Age: 16
Troll skill: -4 10, according to Monty.
Meme factor: 6
Flounce risk: 8
Annoyance rating: 23
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Luggage
make: Antler
air miles: 17,678
Succesful newbie rating: 8
cankles: 6
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:15, Reply)
Mr. Reginal Ape Esq
Age: Makes no difference to me
Hirsuteness: 9
Fertility: 10
Monty wrangling skills: 8
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)
*brushes body hair*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Cankles?
CANKLES?

Cheeky twat.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)
I had to balance the 'succesful newbie rating'

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)
If you're flying a lot

(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Eh?
Troll skill: 10

Have not seen how many people start crying whenever he posts about politics? The boy is a natural.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Come to think of it, you have a point.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:25, Reply)
that, I'm afraid is more an issue with some of those that argue with him
then it is a positive critique of his actual trolling ability.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Actually you are right.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:30, Reply)
plus, a decent troll will seriously challenge themselves
by arguing a point of view that not even the worst bigot could reasonably hold.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Are you saying Swipey is a troll?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:35, Reply)
haha. possibly.
trolling is posting purely to provoke. If you believe it, you aren't saying it to provoke, you're saying to get people to listen.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Trolling is not posting purely to provoke.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)
How dare you say that!
You are ruining the internet with your abhorrent views!
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)
yes it i....
*shakes fist*

why, I outta....
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)
the problem is
when he gets called out, he tries to carry on arguing his teenage cod-politics-philosophy. Any half-decent troll simply rides roughshod through an argument no matter how reasoned or correct and simply heads off on another tack, leaving the other poster both confuised and despairing.

He's a poor troll because he thinks he believes in what he's posting. Even if it's a sockpuppet, while it might be a convincing scokpuppet it's a rubbish troll.

I've only come across one or two genuinely good trolls on here.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:27, Reply)
I'd rather not know who you wank over, thanks.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)
7.9/10
excellent effort. Perhaps not completely clean on the entry.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Jeffthedogfucker
Joke telling -10
Cider drinking 9.81
Humour: 17
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Agnostic Antichrist
Age: 23
Facial Hair: 1
Other Half: 10 (happy being single)
Past Partners: 5
Trolling Skill: 3
Meme Factor: 6
Flounce Risk: 0
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:21, Reply)
T-shirt selection ability: 0

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Well, that too.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:29, Reply)
is that past partners number or quality?
because, y'know, if it's numbers then top trumps would be effectively condoning sluttery.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Also if it's quality then it's a bare faced lie

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:27, Reply)
It's quality
And also not a bare faced lie.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:29, Reply)
that's OK then.
were they all average, or did you have one absolute belter and then a bunch of hippocrocopigs?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:30, Reply)
One absolute belter, 3 very pretty.
Sadly, all have proven to be fucking mental.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:31, Reply)
ah, I see, scoring in all areas
very fair.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Where does Bella fall in this...?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)
She was number 5

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:33, Reply)
"she is not a number"

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:36, Reply)
She is a fat fucking heap of shit though.

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)
hahahaha, not pulling any punches today eh Rory?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I had to clear out some drainage earlier, backed up right nasty they were.
The contents resembled Bella on one of her better days.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)
She doesn't.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Your standards are as always exceptionally low.
If a grunt and a roll around on Bella's munchy box constitutes a 5, what the fuck is a 1?
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:33, Reply)
She hasn't been counted in that.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)
I'd bleach that from my memory too, if only the internet wasn't there to act as a constant reminder.
The sycophancy on links was truly jaw dropping.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:36, Reply)
At the time, she had far less bile and venom in her writing, so it wasn't too bad to read.
I wouldn't link anything she wrote now, as now she just complains about everything, and I have no wish to join in. However, at the time, I felt that it was an interesting point. Upon reading Enzyme's point, I realised I didn't have a fucking clue what I was on about, and stopped caring (again).

Going from political apathy to attempting to give a shit is dull.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Scarpe

Age: Too old for this shit
Apperance: Like the rapist from Corries/Tourettes Pyromaniac from early Shameless
Flounce Likelihood: Nearing zero
Rory Tolerance: Off the scale, I wuv that cute little puppy dog
Self Awareness that if he doesn't do this for himself, no one else will: 100
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:21, Reply)
awww!
There there.
(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)
You beat me in Rory Tolerance. By a considerable margin.

(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)
First linked casual racism, and now harshing on rory lyon.
You must be a young turk looking to make a name for yourself on off topic.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Oh, well played on the last one.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)
I thought that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)
I thought that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:26, Reply)
I thought that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Did you think that?

(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)
he thought that.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)
I thought that

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)
I thought that he thought that he thought that

(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I thought that you thought that he thought that.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:26, Reply)
I thought that too.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I don't know what to think

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)
This is like the start to a really shit film musical number
Oh Monty! A Musical Odyssey

"Fucking shit" - Baz Bamigboye, Daily Mail
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)
likelyhood to start an argument: 50, but falling

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Hahahah.
Fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Oi, I SAID
'Fuck off'.

Jesus, chalk up another failure to argue.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)
MIGHTERS
Food knowledge: 10
General knowledge: 9
Smugness about points 1 & 2: 8
Sports socks: 0
Knowledge of rave playlists '88-92: 2
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:25, Reply)
very specific
You may want to add - Homoerotic Top Gun impersonation: 10
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:26, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1350892
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Entirely fair.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)
I thought that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Monters
Thinking that: 10
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:29, Reply)
haha. well played.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:29, Reply)
I thought that

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)
This is like an online computer game, but shit.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I think we fucked up the rules.
Our catagories don't match. It's like playing Cars versus Football Teams.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:38, Reply)
cars usually win that.
by running over football teams.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:39, Reply)
I don't know.
I've seen what Christiano Ronaldo did to a Ferrari.

Mind you, a car certainly beat Laurie Cunningham.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)
You have a point.
plus, there are probably maximum minus points for all the spunk and anal lube he leaves on the leather.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Are you casting doubt
on the obvious, blatent, certain, unquestionable hetrosexuality of Mr Ronaldo? I'm shocked.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:48, Reply)
I would suggest, sir
that the man is SO blatantly heterosexual he repeatedly and roughly takes hot cock up the shitpipe simply to PROVE he doesn't like it and is therefore the most heterosexual man alive.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)
Haha!
The Ricky Martin defence

He bangs, he bangs
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)
It's not gay if you're doing it to prove you're not gay.
Or something.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)
it's not gay if it's merely a new and vigorous method of colonic irrigation.
or something.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)
translation
"I can't believe no-one has done me yet. I don't care whether you like me or not, but I can't believe you aren't paying me ATTENTION"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)
I thought that

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Really out of all the users on here you classify me as a needy one?
I'd rather then didn't do me or it'll just be LOL rape, or the fact that I explain jokes. Which in itself "is the joke".
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I don't think you're needy at all.
I think you like attention. it's not the same.

(and, no, you're nowhere near the worst but you are the first one to post a reply that blatantly asked for it, you fool)
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Chompy - there you go, a nice one
Excel Skills: 11
Links : 12
Unusual name: 10
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Talking of links
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-14887743
She comes from a "nice family" bollocks.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)
THAT's a glamour model?
she looks like a surprised horse.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)
I don't know why that always makes me giggle

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)
I love this picture
I printed it out in A4 and mailed it to my step daughter at Uni
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)
I hope you said
'I saw this and thought of you'
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)
I hate the way the journalist has seen fit to use the word 'shopped' in that article

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)
Chompy:
Sardonic wit: 9
Ability to wind up sensitive posters: 10
Town of residence: 2
WoW Factor: Oh dear
Stationery stock: 10
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Paperclip : 100

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:48, Reply)
It's apparently between MK and Luton for city status next year.
You wouldn't want luton to be a city.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)
I wouldn't want Luton to exist, ideally.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Easyjet will crash into the city center one day.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)
This is one of those posts that people in Thames house read.
I meant that easyjet are shit and fly near luton, it's not intelligence.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)
I BET THEY CHARGE THEM EXTRA FOR THAT!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Reverend Fister

Age: Mature and distingushed, that's all you need to know
Appearance: Alexander Armstrong's younger and better looking brother
Suaveness: 8, you motherfuckers
Flouncing: 0
Northerness: 9
Ability to wind up Al: 8
Ability to generate his own bash when he comes down to London: 0
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Grasp on reality: 0

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)
This whole board is beset by Northerns,
i appreciate most of you are 'long term unemployed' but still you must all have something better to do? Those old whippets won't drown themselves.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)

beset improved
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)
I am the epitome of Northerness
Born in Yorkshire, raised in Scotland. Ergo, I am the tightest cunt on the planet.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)
*wonders whether Rswipe will get the wrong end of the stick, and ask for your secrets, as Kegels aren't doing the trick anymore*

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:07, Reply)
I don't think I could help Swipey
I'd only loosen her up.

She'd be ruined for the rest of mankind, so I just wouldn't do that.

Not even if she begged.

*not convincing anyone on either score*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:18, Reply)
especially not me

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Sportscow
Age: 36 3/4
Appearance: corpse
Tiredness: 10
Coffee: 100
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)
Stunned poster
Teeth: 2
Cooking: 9
Ability to keep up with Monty on a night out: 10
Chutnoid tendencies: unconfirmed at this stage
Diabetic Jewishness: 9
Successful Taxi Phoning at 3am: 0
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)
I couldn't keep up with you on a night out, so that's fairly impressive.
well maybe not, in hindsight, considering I didn't actually drink that much...
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)
I thought you couldn't drink?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)
We only got through 7 bottles of wine on Saturday.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)
point proven...
i'm sure at some point Monty described himself as a lighweight when it came to alcohol
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)
I couldn't really tell, what with the racist tirade(s).

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Err...no.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)
You did ages ago, you were wasted in your flat with some B3tans
and said that you don't drink that much anymore...really we can probably just leave this whole thing
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:01, Reply)
That sounds like a terrible lie on my part.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:08, Reply)
What's up with those taxis?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Is this the start of a bad joke from an 80's comedy routine?
'How about those TV dinners eh?'
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)
We got a black cab from the station.
A mere £35 later we were home.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)
I could have got to my house for that.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Question:
How likely is it that someone working for Berkshire PCT will notice that I typed Berkshite in a report I just sent them, should I recall or just hope the don't notice?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)
you can probably stop that sentence after the first "notice"
I think you'll be OK.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:00, Reply)
Never recall, all you do is draw attention to your mistake
The recipient will be expecting to rad berkshire and so will most likely read berkshire regardless of minor spelling mistake
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:00, Reply)
because Berkshire is indeed "rad"
And me calling a spelling mistake on someone else is the worst example of kitchen-equipment based colour identification ever.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:02, Reply)
I was expecting to see the word "read"
but all I got was this lousy post, or something...
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:02, Reply)
WHOAH DUDE! RAD BERKSHIRE, MAN.
SKATING IN WINDSOR GREAT PARK ROCKS, MAN.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:04, Reply)
An ex of mine routinely accidentally offered 'disocunts' to City firms
and it was never noticed.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:03, Reply)
And very welcome they were too

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:04, Reply)
I read that as discocunts
And was very disappointed when I read it the second time.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)
I also read it as "discocunts"
Better not go there.
(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:18, Reply)
An the reward for the most dull thread of the month goes too.....

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Is it me?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I'm on tenterhooks here.
Surely it's me?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:20, Reply)
How far is your bash away from finsbury park?
It looks pretty close but am I right in thinking walking wouldn't be wise?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Definitely not.
Walking might take an hour and walking about in Finsbury Park is not a good idea. Unless you're a prostitute.

Are you a prostitute?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:23, Reply)
I am not a prostitute.
I will look into public transport options.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:23, Reply)
You'd get a minicab for about a tenner, I reckon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Oh I can get the overground that's allright.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Also, if you are walking in the park
while attempting to go from the station to Monty's then you'd be going the wrong way.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Nah, my friend said I could crash on her sofa, she lives in finsbury park. Or nearby.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:29, Reply)
I'd go for the thread prior to this one.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)

thread post
(McChinaman banned, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:17, Reply)
It's better than the one you've started this morning
in that it actually exists.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)

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