New thread ffs. Are you all mad, using last night's thread for the morning. Bad juju!!
I have a week off which I will spend with b3tans far and wide. This is good because I'm pissed off with my boss today.

What is pissing on your chips today?
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:30, 180 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Nothing yet.
But it won't be long.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Nothing
I;m on holiday, about to go walking along some Yorkshire cliff tops, so nothing can annoy me today.


But the fact that Einstein may have been wrong puzzles me:

www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/sep/22/faster-than-light-particles-neutrinos
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Where in Yorkshire?

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Skipsea
near Bridlington.

I've never been to Yorkshire before.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Ooo! lovely.
Quite a way from me though.
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)

well, yes
todmorden is in lancashire

as we tell my father repeatedly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:47, Reply)

It's in Yorkshire now.

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Brid is nice
My brother-in-law lives there
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I like Yorkshire
Also this is worth bearing in mind www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI7o-FJM8f4
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:39, Reply)

It's pretty likely he wasn't wrong.
xkcd.com/955/
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:38, Reply)

That spastic cunt on BBC breakfast announced the headline and followed it up with the gem
"which could mean fundamental things like E=MC² could be wrong"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:41, Reply)

haha, fuck.
I was discussing it with a colleague on the way in this morning. Granted, neither of us specialise in theoretical physics, but the best we could come up with is "maybe the currently quoted speed of light is actually very slightly wrong?"

Even the bloke who did the work is adamant it must be wrong, he just can't work out how.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I just wish that people were forced to have a basic understanding of science
before being allowed to report on it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I've sat in several meetings with BBC and C4 programming people
(I used to do this epsrc NOISEmaker thing) and explained this. They payed very little attention. Unsurprisingly.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:47, Reply)

This is exactly why I have nothing to say on the matter
Well, that and the fact that I absolutely do not give a shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)

absolutely do not give a shit spent all my time in science class learning how to insert lubricated penises into my bottom.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I was slightly confused as to that part of the curriculum I must admit
Especially since it was only my Physics teacher, Mr "Loves the jism" Chisholm, who enforced it. My female Biology teacher had no truck with such practical methods of explanation.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Nothing surprises me in the world of science.
Mainly because I don't understand any of it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Oh I know
It would be incredibly shocking if he was, but it just got me imagining what the implications would be if this were true,
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)

I'm hungover and tired.
Also, my ex is being a knob.

So, you know, the usual.

/Monty.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)

The VPN is down
as they changed all the ip addresses on our system on wednesday.

So I can't really do a lot of work.

But come 5pm I'm off to Edinburgh.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:34, Reply)

What are you doing up here, al?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I want to see if spending time north of the border makes me right about everything
unable to take a joke, and quite insufferable.

I joke of course, I'm up there on a stag do.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)

don't joke, now you know I can't take it.
Good times. Anything interesting planned? any places I should avoid tonight or tomorrow night for risk of seeing a drunken Al hanging out the back of some hen do scrubber?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I have no idea where we are going
but we are staying just north of Haymarket station.

We are doing "mini highland games" tommorrow.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)

If you end up on Grassmarket or Cowgate
try not to leave reeking of skank. It'll be a challenge.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I'm quite good at avoiding skanks
my hideous appearance and gargantuan physical girth usually sees to that.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

not if you end up in The Three Sisters it won't

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

If you like French food try this restaurant in Edinburgh www.lescargotbleu.co.uk/

It's excellent - I took my best man & ushers and their partners there for dinner the night before my wedding. Food was fresh, tasty & good value.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)

It's fucking lovely
but unless he has a time machine to go back to 3 weeks ago he's not going to be able to get a table there.

Also, it's very close to my flat so I'm not sure I want him there.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Been there a couple of times - my wife is friends with their wine merchant so he has helped us to get a table at short notice before.

The last time we were there the Bakehouse just up the road caught fire.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:41, Reply)

that was only a few months ago, wasn't it?
It is a lovely restaurant.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:48, Reply)

June 17th to be precise.
We got married at St Giles cathedral on the 18th. Reception was at Dalmeny House in South Queensferry (friends of wife's family).
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I live about 2 minutes from there

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

St Giles or Dalmeny?
My wife's family live on Heriot Row. I drink in the St Vincent around the corner to escape the family when up there.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Near Dalmeny

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)

a man, pissing.
My new glove with thumb armour still hasn't been delivered and if it isn't, I might not be able to play tomorrow. Sad times.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Glove for what?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Putting his thumb up people's bottoms

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)

*touches nose*
*points*

Yes.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)

I hope you cleaned that finger before you held it up to your nose

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:41, Reply)

It was the other finger.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)

You only have 2 fingers?
That's amazing that you've managed to overcome your difficulties to become a super-dooper scientist and hockey hero.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Hockey astro glove
but right hand gloves are very rare, especially armoured ones, and it's my right thumb I broke, so I had to order one and it hasn't come.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Is it not best to let your thumb heal before you start playing again?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Sorry, it is healed.
I just don't want to be hit on it again without protection.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:44, Reply)

That makes sense
My old flatmate used to come home bleeding all the time from his hockey games.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:45, Reply)

My brother was keeper for the team at school
Came home once and told us about a lad getting his front teeth knocked out after refusing to wear a gum guard, oof.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Meh, mine were all knocked out with a stick
gumshield wouldn't have helped there. They are OK for ball impacts but nothing else.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)

*Sniggers*
Ball impacts.
You usually wear some sort of chin-guard for that?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)

nah, I like the scrotum-on-stubble-rub.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Nowt
Rumour has it I made a kick-ass chilli last night which I'll be having for lunch, a sausage and egg bap is on its way, it's Friday...

I am a little hungover and pretty tired but I'm staying upbeat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I can't wait to get rat arsed with DG and tourettes on Saturday.
I need to let off steam.
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)

I am so, so jealous.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)

That was most lolsome on FB

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Who are you visiting Blousie?
Nothing much today actually. I've just solved an annoying issue at work, I have coffee and the promise of a lunchtime pint or two and me and Mrs Cow are off out tonight down the Quayside
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Dg and tourettes then off to Bristol for the pier and then Monty's bash.

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)

My liver aches in sympathy for you!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I've been in training all week : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Are you heading up tomorrow then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Yup and back on Monday.

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Money money money
And now I've typed that, also: ABBA.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)

The bin men.
Since they switched to fortnightly collections, we've been having great fun. We managed to get a second wheelie bin, and now they're refusing to empty both. Bastards.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)

It's been alright so far today
Shame I'm at work but that'll pass. The office plebs have scored a minor victory over 'da management' and have the radio on. The station they've picked has played that sodding Adele song that everyone creams their pants over a gajillion times in the last hour*. Headphones time.

*may contain traces of exaggeration
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:47, Reply)

a hangover and a long day at work
but the next 4 weekends are packed with very exciting things and i am getting SO much credit for my new-found fame as a super globally recommended lawyer and i have a freezing cold diet coke and chocolate for breakfast.

what's not to love?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:48, Reply)

When it's too cold, Diet Coke simply isn't enjoyable.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)

When it's too cold,
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

^this, harder than a diamond-tipped erection

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)

will you stop talking about my bloke?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Your cervix must be quite a sight

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Like a hand grenade has gone off in a sea urchin...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

No, that's not true, lots of people like diet coke.
You wouldn't be able to buy it if no one liked it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Lots of people like Michael McIntyre
Lots of people bought Oasis records
Lots of people voted for George W. Bush

Lots of people are fucking idiots
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:01, Reply)

^ this ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:20, Reply)

+ who watch X-Factor

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I like to think that I can consider something as 'good' even though I don't like it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:52, Reply)

This may well be true
but I must admit I'm struggling to think of an example
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

You, Sir, are wrong. Even more so than usual.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

The only thing that makes Diet Coke enjoyable is when it's Cherry Diet Coke

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)

this is best of all the diet cokes
i used to love the vanilla one too, but alas no more.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

The Vanilla one was nice
I like the lemon one as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:11, Reply)

the citrus twist one, you mean? mmm

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)

I can't stand that stuff, far too sweet.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Trying jizzing in it first
Balances it out nicely
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Fool.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Which one of these "globally recommended" things is this?
I keep getting emails about a science one but I've always ignored them because I assumed it was a scam. I'm going to be upset if you tell me it's kosher.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

the legal one is definitely legit
there are 2 very well known and long-standing international legal directories which give details of the world's most recommended lawyers, and to be in them if you aren't a partner is a pretty big deal. at my relatively junior level, it has made me exceptionally popular around here! plus there was a quote from a client which was v flattering. put it this way, if i were looking for a new job - which i'm not, i love my boss - it would be a huge factor in my favour. but it won't get me a faster promotion or more money. so it's nice and it's made me feel good, but it's not lifechanging.

the science one, you'd need to know if it is actually recognised i guess. if it starts with wiki, i'd avoid it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I don't quite understand why it wouldn't get you a faster promotion or more money if it's that good?
but well done.

I think the science one may well be legit to be honest but I don't have time to do much consultancy right now so it wouldn't help. Sad times.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)

it's recognition that i'm doing well
it's not bringing in a client who will bill a million a year in fees.

so it will help my prospects but it isn't a prospect in itself.

keep it on ice. you might need it in your old age...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Fuck that.
I'm spinning out a company before I'm 40. I'll be sitting on directorships in my old age.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:03, Reply)

like my dad
i reckon he earns 3 times a year now what he did as a director at barclays.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)

*checks bank statement again*
*holds out upturned flat cap*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Wow, small world, you recieve bank statements and 'swipey's dad writes them.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)

If Swipey's Dad was personally responsible for this horrific mess
I would kidnap her and demand a better one as ransom.

But he's not. I am.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:17, Reply)

There is always too much month left at the end of money =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:27, Reply)

v flattering quote from client:
"She could suck an apple through a letterbox. Would use again."
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)

a golfball through a hosepipe actually

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Ah, soz.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I potentially did something awesome at work too.
In Wordpress (which counts as a platform for a rediculous amount of views, it's an uncountable number, but we're talking about the 100m+/month rate) you can embed content from popular platforms such as youtube by typing in something like "[embed]http://www.youtube.com/link/to/video[/embed]", which will embed the video, or that link could be for Flickr to embed a photo, or Amazon to embed a product.

I've managed to get our platform compatitble with the embedding (oEmbed), which means all those sports blogs that link to us can simply type in one of our urls and it'll embed one of our videos/photos/other-content... and therefore with that an advert. We're working on getting whitelisted as a default for Wordpress, so has a potential to serve up millions of adverts which was a lot of effort before.... it worked well when we got whitelisted on Facebook.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)

i am so computer illiterate that this goes over my head
but it sounds impressive so WELL DONE!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Thanks you two =D
It's a pandora's box of possiblities, could make a fortune for the company.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:24, Reply)

The nurse woman
I can't believe someone so thick is telling people how to lose weight.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)

It's not that complicated though is it
"Burn more calories than you take in"

How is it going for you so far?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Lost 6 or 7 pounds in two weeks apparantly
she was telling me not to hope for more. Kept on warning me not to congratulate myself and eat myself stupid.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

To be honest some people would do that.

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)

There is half a Galaxy cake bar
that is calling 'chocolate' at me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I'm just letting you know, I really like galaxy cake bars.
Galaxy is my fave chocolate; expensive or cheap.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)

If you eat it then don't panic.
WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT PANIC!!
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Hahaha I can resist
probably
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)

You can't lose more than about 3 or 4 pounds a week though
so she is entirely right. Anything more than that is loss through dehydration and will always go back on again, unless you die.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Congrats!
That is a pretty good rate of weight loss, and it mostly likely will slow somewhat after that first fortnight, but you're on course to lose a stone in a month, which would be superb going
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Sorry, yeah, and this.
Very well done.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I might follow you round all day
Being nice to those exposed to hard scientific fact by saying what you say in a congratulatory way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:04, Reply)

It might just work.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Cheers
been on it for about six weeks now I think
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)

You'll be at the "have to buy new clothes" stage in a couple of weeks
I'm told that this is very exciting for girls
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Nah too broke for that
sad times. I'll wait til I've lost a substantial amount before that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:09, Reply)

This is exactly why I'm glad I own lots of belts

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Congratulations

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:04, Reply)

But she did a course!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Wha'whu'?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)

The flat that I thought was awesome yesterday isn't as awesome as I thought, the kitchen is TINY.
But I found another one near Enfield Town that has LOADS of budget to get all the important bits like new couches and decorating it however I want and maybe possibly a 3D telly and not have to get a second flatmate in and it's in Enfield Chase which is like 30 minuite into Kings Cross and there is walking distance to Enfield Town with all the cool shops like HMV and CEX and TWO waitroses. Lots of nice resturants and cafes there so I can be all like "I'M GOING OUT FOR DINNER, GOING TO HAVE A CHINESE" and like magic, I can have some. There is a Nandos there too so I need never roast a chicken again.

I went out to a lovely thai resturant yesterday with a mate, but I only got to eat like 1/3rd of the food and I started to feel really really ill, I thought I was going to throw up and collapse and it was quite bad, so my friend took me home and I feel asleep on the couch in seconds of getting home. It felt like I had accidently taken double my tablets, even though I didn't. OH WOE IS ME, I'm arlight now.

I like my brand spanking new profile on facebook.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Oh dear Gonz! It's all a bit too exciting for you at the minute.

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)

One of my Ma's good friends lives on the same estate as this one, I reckon I could totally nip over and get hot chocolate made for me if I feel loanly or anything like that.
There is also a picture house there, well, a very long walk or very short bus ride away, so I might get one of those unlimited passes, after work if I'm bored I can go watch a film and it'll be no effort at all to go. The only problem with that place is that their fizzy slush puppy machine has been broken for about a year now and I really really like fizzy slush puppy; it's the best thing about the pictures.

I did origionaly at one point want to live in Enf Town, so that's good too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)

The piss on my chips today, or rather this week...
Is the fact that my left ear has been completely blocked all week and I cannot hear a bastard thing through it. This is especially disheartening given that normally I can hear better on that side. I am finding it very disorientating.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I had to have my ears quite literally washed out a few weeks ago
I found the experience surprisingly pleasant
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:02, Reply)

It has not been a good morning thus far.
My alarm failed to go off so I over slept and the flat tyre I spend ages last night fixing was flat again this morning, which may also mean I can't take that bike out this weekend, oh and I forgot, in all the rush, to bring any money with me to buy breakfast.

On the up side I have a half day.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Poor CQ!
There there.
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Meh, I've had worse.
It's more the feeling that this is one of those days when every little thing that can co go wrong will, I don't like that feeling.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Only a week till fun and frolics : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:18, Reply)

This is good.
Might have some bike related fun tomorrow too if I can find a new inner tube before then.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I have been up since 4am because of a crying baby
I'd be mad but I am somewhat responsible for its existence.
( Peej, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:04, Reply)

5am for us with ours.
I cannot get mad for the same reason as you.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:17, Reply)

It probably never wanted to be born.
I know I didn't.
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Parents should always remember their kids didn't ask to be born.
Mine blamed me for my existence. This will never happen with my daughter.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Glad you're not carrying on the family trait of being a cunt : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I am sure I am being a cunt in other ways!
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I am sure you are wrong.

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:26, Reply)

You really are too nice at times.
I shall buy you a drink at the bash next week for this.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:26, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:28, Reply)

This week has been 'a bit shit'
Was told of a possible redundancy on Monday and given 'garden leave' to come up with proposals for averting said redundancy. Looked into the financials up down and sideways (our parent company is really twisting the knife - higher inter-company prices AND a shit exchange rate to boot) and came up with nothing that would save my job.
Called by the boss today, the whole group will lose between 10% & 12% of the employees worldwide so I'm screwed.
On the plus side, I'll get a payoff that will tide me over for 6 months while i look for a new post.
On the down side, Pooflake's garden leave finishes Monday so I won't even have a drinking partner!
Fucksocks.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I imagine you might struggle to get a new job
what with the bad economic climate, and the fact that you're old.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Less of the 'old' sonny!
As my late father used to say - "I've been your age, there ain't no guarantee you'll reach mine'.

Just joking! Actually I've been looking for a new post for a while, haven't been happy with the direction the company's taking - love the job - not so happy with the company. There are jobs out there for the sufficiently qualified and experienced and for the type of job I'm after, age is no boundary.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Being old may stand him in good stead
Employers today tend to prefer desperate people with experience over apathetic school-leavers.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:34, Reply)

What about apathetic experienced people?

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

They spend all day on b3ta
Hoping to fall under the radar when the redundancy axe comes a-swinging.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:44, Reply)

The first £35k of redundancy pay is tax free which should help you stretch the cash out a bit if you need to

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I've just been insulted by my television.
I was getting dressed while watching Homes Under The Hammer on BBC1 (I'm a lazy cow, don't judge me.

As I dropped the towel, the guy on the tv said 'That's a fairly nasty crack'

*cries*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:27, Reply)

hahahahahahahahahaha
It's early in the day for POTD but this wins.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Write to points of view.

( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:30, Reply)

You've just reminded me
I was dreaming about having lunch with Terry Wogan and his wife last night. That was quite bizarre.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I dreamt I was pregnant
I actually had to check when I woke up, I was that panicked.
(berk, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:52, Reply)

"I don't think they're even, are you sure you don't have subsidence?"

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)

"Does your husband have a sink-fund?"

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:32, Reply)

"I'm not sure if it's victorian or edwardian".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:32, Reply)

*cries, again*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

"the curtains seem to match the rug, but the upholstery looks tatty".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)

You can go off people, you know...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:37, Reply)

*Sigh*, fine, ok then...
"Are you sure it's within the budget? Looks too good to be true, and you say the mantainance charge and ground rent is within [resonable price]? Council Tax must be quite a bit, what band are in? C ? Wow, that's good. Is the Range Master and Smeg included? Oh cool, What about the light fittings?"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)

STOP PRESS
I managed to get my backdrop to change to that picture of Ms Foxtrot.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

drop to change to that picture of Ms Foxtrot. passage to stop leaking syphilitic juices.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Nice imagery there

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Nice, but inaccurate
My chair is a fucking state
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Wow.
and it only took a few days. go you.


spastic
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

The best part is that now, whenever some autistic moustachioed South London horse whisperer calls me a spastic
I just minimise the screen and all is well with the world
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

The best part is you don't even know which bit of what you just said is even wrong.
Seriously, you should not be allowed near a computer unless it's one of those V-Tech kiddy ones.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

*minimises screen*
*eats croissant*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Gah!
computer illiterate moron. Why not reboot your CUP and Defrag your RAM while you're at it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Because those things sound boring
Looking at a picture of my girlfriend is not boring
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:20, Reply)

For you, maybe, each to their own.
Edit: Apologies, I am not in a good mood.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:23, Reply)

*belms*
This is my current background
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

If I put a bucket on my head that would be me.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Nice one mate
But no dice, I'm still not sending you the picture
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Bitch.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I don't want you wanking over the missus
If it was me it'd be another matter
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Nicely done
Did you have to get the IT dork to do it, in return for NOMMY CAKE?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

No, remarkably I worked it out by myself using LOGIC
It occured to me that as I was applying backgrounds from IE, if I opened the picture in IE it might work. And it did. I know this is incredibly basic stuff to most of you, but for me this is the equivalent of the first time cavemen rubbed sticks together cos they were cold.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Oh christ, I've become a parody of myself.
I was looking up the lyrics to "Scroodge" (here comes mr humbug, here comes mr bad) and the page that I was on played the tune, and it's been on repeat for an hour.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)