I'm getting too old for this sort of caper
I've woken up with a hangover, on the sofa at a mates place.

Oww.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 8:10, 218 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning chap.
If it is any consolation, I woke up on my sofa at 06.50 with a hangover and the baby screaming. Went to change her, she pissed on me. Went for a cigarette, my wife shouted at me.

The day must get better than this.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 8:13, Reply)

I hope
You didn't try and change your wife by mistake.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 8:20, Reply)

She wouldn't fit on to the changing mat.
What were you up to last night?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 8:25, Reply)

Went to the pub for a Friday pint
It got a bit out of hand.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 8:33, Reply)

I woke up at a mates place too.
without the hangover, only its settling in now instead. 'I have moved back home for the next three - four months today, and my room is a tip. I don't have enough storage space and need to go to the reject shop tomorrow to buy some containers, otherwise my stuff is going to sit in the garage and fester for months. I am so tired.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 8:51, Reply)

*there there*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

I sense your there there is not sincere...
but I am unsure as to why.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

I woke up to someone bringing me tea and croissants
*smugs*

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get up. Things to do, and all that.

Also, MORNING JEFF!!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Hey b3th, you're in touch with Foxtrot outside of b3ta aren't you?
I think he mentioned yesterday that he had to drive to Birmingham on Sunday. He may appreciate knowing that the Birmingham marathon is on tomorrow and many roads will be closed. If you can let him know, as he may need to allow more time and change his route.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I will do so immediately. And thank you on his behalf.
His big, mincing, quendering behalf.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

IN A FEW HOURS I GET MY PHONE OH GEE OH GOSH ON MY OH WOW.
I'm just waiting for Ma' to get her hair done, then she'll take me down the post office depo and then we're going to Edmonton to look at furniture type stuff for the new flat. I've been listening a lot to Ed Sheeran's "No.5 Calaberation Project", it's really good, some proper decent rap. I love the song 'little lady', it's a rap version of Class A Team... did you know it was about a drug addled prozzy? It's quite a powerful song, check it out, the Little Lady version. I've got that Idiot Abroad to download today, I like that one, big fan of Karl Pilkington. Yesterday for dinner I got some KFC but couldn't bring myself to eat it, it just tasted not very nice and textured not nice too, can't explain it but didn't fancy it... I should have just done some microwave chips and pasta shapes. I've got a chicken to butcher and make chicken type stuff with over the next few days, don't want to waste it, it'll see me though 'till payday, at least.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

I woke up before 8 for no reason at all
i've just been to view a house and have another two to look at in 20 minutes. None, thus far, have been very good for making defensible against zombies. What else should I be looking for?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Distance from the nearest supply of alcohol is quite important.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I think that one was quite far
the ones i'm about to look at are probably not even near a corner shop. eek!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Windmills.
I live a couple of streets away from a windmill which is being restored. It's in a suburb of York, so the windmill thing is pretty unique. When the main sails go on next year it will probably add a few thousand on to the value of my house.

Not as much as if I lived on the same street as it, but as you walk to my house from town you get a great view of it through the trees.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

that sounds awfully pretty
i think from some places you can see a windfarm in the distance. You can from where I am now, but that's because you can see everything from here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I mean an actual windmill, not a windfarm or wind turbine.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holgate_Windmill
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)

pretty
yeah - i was just trying to be as cool as you, but there ain't no windmills here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)

You live in Trumpton AICMFP

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCYOQOn-NPU
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Make sure you can get a mobile signal there. I lived in one place where I couldn't and it drove me insane having to go outside in the rain to try & get a signal.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

that is a very good point
especially since I'm on 3
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I have found the perfect book for Monty
www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/oct/20/david-bowie-70s-doggett-review
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)

is that the one that seems to claim
that Bowie invented everything and ran the world in the 70s?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

You mean
That he sold the world in the 70s.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)

mais oui

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Have you done your presentation yet PD?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Friday 28th.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I hope it goes well!
Have you done all the necessary prep and all that sort of gubbin'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Not so far.
I am composing the presentation today and tomorrow. I used to work at the company (for 8 years) so no real need to do massive research on them.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Fair enough.
Any other sniffs of a training contract on the horizon
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Nope.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 12:25, Reply)

I'm in The Lake District.
I knew things might be a bit behind London up here, but I just saw a postcard in the newsagent window that says 'Driver needed. Saturdays only. To Deliver E-Mails'.

I will get pictographalogical evidence shortly.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

hahaha

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 11:03, Reply)

totally posting this from my new phone
Its dediculously big, my fingers have to stretch quite a bit, espesh if using one handed, but I think I'll get used too it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Do you have a new number then Gonz?
I texted you earlier when Nigel Slater was on the telly, but forgot about your new phone :-P
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Woo and yay Gonz
I'm taking a break from cleaning.
Very smug about having seen Laura Marling at York Minster last night. What a great venue for a gig.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Oh wowzers!
I'll bet the acoustics were fab in there :)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Her voice sounded incredible.
She's so shy as well, tiny little thing.
All it was missing was a massive fat guy in a black puffa coat rocking backwards and forwards outside :D
We should totally have another day out in York again.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Hahaha :D
Totally \o/
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:20, Reply)

What phone did you get Gonz?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:02, Reply)

How's the hangover?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Fixed.
A bacon and egg sandwich, a can of coke and a packet of Refreshers.

WINNER!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

I have yet to eat. A litre of Lucozade has helped to an extent, but the baby is crying again so I need more Neurofen.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Get some fried animal.
Animal is good.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I hope to do this soon.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I'm posting from the free wifi in the gym
my god, I am so middle class. I even have a cappucino next to me. I barely recognise myself
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:22, Reply)

In a super lazy mood
how's it going everyone?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I'm chilli' out, maxin', relaxing all cool.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:15, Reply)

And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Careful. there's a couple of guys over there up to no good...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:18, Reply)

It's a nice day B3th. Why not GO TO THE PIER!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Don't be silly
I'm going to have a totally rock n roll NAP!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:31, Reply)

It's too nice to nap!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:33, Reply)

But I'm tiiiiiiired........

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

There must be something in the air

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Don't be silly.
I'm outside of the school packing up my noncing equipment. It's half term now innit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I'm feeling dandy
Despite the fact I went out when I got back last night, daft decision. I'm still sitting here with a giant grin on my face though, everyone should visit Krakow.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:23, Reply)

How was the Krakow trip Baz?
Apologies if I've missed the latest episode of Barryoaks.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Unbelievably good.
Did a mixture of being an idiot and doing nice stuff, went to Auschwitz which I loved for lack of a better word. Best bit about that is it's an hour away from Krakow and we got a taxi, the bloke waited for us outside for four hours, we had him on the meter for six hours in total...came to 30 quid.

Oh and I pulled a Polish girl on the Wednesday and took her virginity, did it bareback as well. I'd pay ANYTHING for her to be pregnant, be a right laugh if I ever go back and bump into my mystery child.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:30, Reply)

hahahahaha
What idiotic behaviour did you manage?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Nothing too bad.
In fact we were quite respectful, except for when we were in a Polish hip hop club. There we took the piss a bit, only due to how funny it was in there. Seriously though, I think everyone should visit the place, even if it's just for Auschwitz. The scale of it is horrific and I can't believe it was only 65 years ago.
Oh and I wasn't allowed on my flight back, due to being barely able to walk. That was a laugh.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Will we see you on the next series of Airline
With the bloke who does the voiceover saying, 'This is Barry, fresh from breaking in a young Polish girl, he got on the sauce.... Barry won't be allowed to fly back today and will have to wait for a later flight.'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

i sure hope you are just
a cariacature created to provide entertainment to us here and not a real person who believes all he writes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Afternoon Captain!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

afternoon, jeff
how's the hangover progressing?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:47, Reply)

It's gone thanks Captain.
Any of the houses you went to look at offer-worthy?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I think I'll put an offer on the one I saw on thursday
it's about 20 grand cheaper than ones i saw today, but felt more spacious. Will require me to decorate, though, but I'm an artist, right, so how hard can it be?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

If you need to decorate, get it done ASAP otherwise you'll never get round to doing it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

yeah, you are probably right, but I like a project
One of the rooms, I think I could very quickly turn into a studio/darkroom by ripping out the carpet and putting lino in or something. Oh and i'd have to deal with the lack of bath issue
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

We can have a house-decorating bash.
Cavy can feed us beer and pizza, and we can paint her walls a nice magnolia.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Yay!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

this sounds great except for the magnolia
do i come across as a magnolia person?!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

No.
That's why it was funny.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:06, Reply)

:)
*mixes orange paint*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:07, Reply)

When I bought my little flat
it was the first place I'd ever been able to decorate, so I went a touch mental.

Orange hallway, hot pink bathroom, brown bedroom, yellow bedroom, lime green kitchen, cream with brick red lounge.

Totally tasteful.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:25, Reply)

It sounds like you used a packet of Skittles as your colour chart.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:29, Reply)

I may have gone a teensy bit overboard.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

there is nothing wrong with this approach at all
:)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Sounds like my flat when I moved in.
Swiftly eradicated, I'm afraid.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Bleurgh, my fucking head!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Stop moaning fatty.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:30, Reply)

You know when you flounced and showed your fragility? Do you not worry that being weak minded
Is going to pass on to your little girl? It's always to tell which kids have fucked up parents as they get written off really early. I'm looking forward to when she finds her "bert"
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Were your parents grossly obese then?

(Bazongaloid, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Were yours contrary?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 15:51, Reply)

I know which I'd prefer tubby.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 15:55, Reply)

today you probably do, tomorrow you will argue vehemently the opposite I imagine.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:05, Reply)

My wife is sufficiently awesome as a parent to make up for my parental shortcomings.
Parenthood is something I doubt you'll ever have to worry about, given that nobody would be insane enough to marry you, let alone breed with you.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 15:58, Reply)

awwww look now al is here you can play again.
You told us before your wife is a nutty bitch so I call shenanigans.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Nah it's my mother that's the nutter. My wife is terrific.
Are your parents still around? Or have you eaten them?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:14, Reply)

it's all relative (see what I did there)
yes all fat people are cannibals. I hope you can afford to educate your daughter privately...
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:17, Reply)

This transatlantic MASSIVE ARGUMENT is fucking shit

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:21, Reply)

MUST TRY HARDER.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)

I've just been told I've got a (free) ticket for the first of the 3 Stone Roses shows.
*Expects a load of posts about how shit they are*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 15:57, Reply)

woo! that's pretty damn cool

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:01, Reply)

did you see that £55 tickets were going for over £1000 online.
They weren't that good were they?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:06, Reply)

Good for you
hope you enjoy
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:10, Reply)

Yeah I'll be at Heaton Park on the Saturday, I'm umm paying a bit more than gratis

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:13, Reply)

I'm sure I'll have to contribute towards the cost of going.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:14, Reply)

I'm sure my 'free' ticket will come with terms and conditions, like being the driver for the weekend.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Worse ways to spend a weekend

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:20, Reply)

You kipping out in the Park? I'd say all hotel rooms will be gone even at treble their usual price.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:19, Reply)

My mates are really organised.
They booked rooms for the Friday and Saturday before the tickets went on sale. Apparently with most budget hotels you cancel your room upto the day before you are staying without any penalty. So that's what they did, not knowing what day they (might) be able to get tickets for.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:23, Reply)

Top marks there

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)

I've got no idea what hotel we are in or where it is,
but on the basis they've been this organised so far, I don't expect it to be a huge problem.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:27, Reply)

alright Jeffles?
I have got about a third of the powerpoint presentation done as the groundwork. About to move in to the nitty gritty of the products.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Good work.
That is a weekend well spent.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Two hours well spent.
You want a gander?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Fire it over youngster!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:45, Reply)

emailed!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Got it!
Andy and Colin should move in together. They both look gay.

Looks good. Send it over again tomorrow when you've added in the nitty-gritty.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Will do.
Thanks bbz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:04, Reply)

You coming up my neck of the woods?

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Do you live in a park?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:12, Reply)

I live opposite a park.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Oh wow.
I know where there is a park in Bristol. We are almost park neighbours!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Woo!
Where are you seeing the Stone Roses?
( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Heaton Park.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:22, Reply)

in Manchester?

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Yes.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:25, Reply)

How exciting!
You'll be close enough for me to stalk.
( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:25, Reply)

I'll be hidden in amongst 75,000 other shoe-gazers.
You'll never find me!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:26, Reply)

Pfft! when is it?

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:27, Reply)

I think it is in June next year. I'm not 100%
Hang on. I'll check.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:29, Reply)

29th June.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Bloody hell that's way off yet.
I'll have time to save up for some expensive binoculars to find you.
( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Yay!
I'd imagine I'll spend most of the day in a queue for a pint.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Woo!
I've had a couple of beers, we beat The Old Enemy 2-1, I went out on the balcony for a cigarette and a hot neighbour on the opposite balcony came out and cleaned her balcony rail in a lowcut dressing gown. Lots of leaning forwards.

Today just keeps getting better.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 16:57, Reply)

You are in a Carry on film AICMFP

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Full-on perv
Or free porn
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:13, Reply)

*slide-whistles*

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Oh my fucking legs!

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:16, Reply)

What did you do to them?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Walked on them.
10.5 miles yesterday morning, 11.5 miles at 5am this morning. 22 miles in 24 hours, 31.5 miles in five days.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Impressive amount
I was pleased the other day with four miles in total.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:24, Reply)

I am rather smug.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:46, Reply)

He's B3ta's very own Forrest Gump.
Except he walks instead of runs.
( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Noels life is like a bag of sweets
rather than being a box of chocolates.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:22, Reply)

fuck 'em.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:21, Reply)

I fucked my legs the other day at zumba
They still ache today.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Hehe! I'd love to see you zumba.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:28, Reply)

You want to see b3th at a mobile phone recycling place?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:30, Reply)

LTI

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:31, Reply)

I've got zero co-ordination
It's probaby not a pretty sight, either.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:35, Reply)

I downloaded that
it was completely impossible, so kudos to you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Silly Amberl
That's Zuma.

Zumba is a bunch of sweaty ladies flinging themselves around a dancefloor to fast music. Like this. With about as much co-ordination as the lumpen imbeciles at teh back.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:03, Reply)

Sadly that is the one I mean
fast music and dance moves. I actually fell over
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Oh, fair enough.
Yeah, it's tricky, but an excellent workout. and I'm neither the oldest nor the fattest in our group, which helps my fragile ego.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:09, Reply)

I read 'flinging' as 'fingering'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Stick to playing Amberl at crazy golf.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:38, Reply)

A guaranteed win then

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:48, Reply)

All I will say on the matter is it's a good job you're clever.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:49, Reply)

+ NAILS
Amberl, the Happy Gilmore of OT.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:54, Reply)

I've just had a friends cull on FB.
I feel bad.
( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:23, Reply)

You've removed me.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:25, Reply)

No because you won't let me friend you.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:26, Reply)

That's because I've not logged into Facebook in about 3 years.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:26, Reply)

I know. This is why I've never sent a friend request.
Besides you're on here most of the time so I never miss you.
( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Quite.
There are only so many sources of shit puns you need.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:28, Reply)

I never miss him.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:55, Reply)

You shouldn't feel bad for binning off pretend friend internet spastics Biggers

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:39, Reply)

Which b3tans ?
There's always tears on the board when they get facebook dumped
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:40, Reply)

blub blub i fought we was fwiends blub blub blub

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:40, Reply)

I'M NEVER CLICKING I LIKE THIS ON ANY OF YOUR POSTS EVER AGAIN !!!1

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:41, Reply)

*checks*
Nope, it wasn't me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:42, Reply)

It's popular to bin Al off at the moment
He's facing a tsunami of b3ta h8 at the moment, bless his chubby chops
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:45, Reply)

I'd never bin Al.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:47, Reply)

Where ya wheelie bin?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:53, Reply)

HAVING A WANK!!! ELEVENTYONE!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:48, Reply)

high five

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:49, Reply)

I've only binned people I don't really know or have met.
Oh and I've started that book. It's quite gripping from the start.
( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Glad you're enjoying
the one you sent me arrived today. Thanks!. I'll let you know my thoughts tomorrow :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:51, Reply)

its always the b3tans what whinge when i have a cull
i couldnt give a fuck when im unfriended. internets are mental
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:30, Reply)

But the more friends I have the more I feel loved Rory.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:47, Reply)

Internet friends = not real

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Some are.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:19, Reply)

+ bent

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:21, Reply)

Alright Rory bbz?
Been to the post office yet?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:30, Reply)

Oh man, I've just seen a photo of myself that I took today and my face looks really fat, I look the bloke from Lost only without the long hair.
I'm going on a diet right now right this instant before I get those oriental-style eyes that fat people tend to have.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 17:54, Reply)

Photos are the best motivators I've found

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:01, Reply)

This was definitely the case with me.
The photos from the night we got properly engaged were scary. I looked like Dawn French's fat sister.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Deffo
I was on the stage of not caring on account of it not mattering, to the point where I've become quite a mess, body wise.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:29, Reply)

Don't think of it as how you look but how you feel.
Feeling fit and healthy is a great high.
( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:39, Reply)

2 pints of bitter and BANG! the hangover is gone.
Am about to make peppercorn sauce, which means opening a bottle of brandy. This could be extremely dangerous. Must. Not. Drink. Any. Of. It.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:16, Reply)

2 pints of Cilit! Landlord.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:22, Reply)

Have you seen this?
b3ta.com/questions/internetmeets/post1401103

I have met him once at a bash. He's not the most amazing person himself. In fact I thought he was an arrogant twat.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:26, Reply)

Sounds like you've got a reply to the QOTW then!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:28, Reply)

Done.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:29, Reply)

What the actual fuck?
You can't go round picking on our Gonz. That's just not fair. i vote we send Amberl round to sort him out.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:32, Reply)

He does insulting very well though. You have to admire that.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:37, Reply)

insulting arrogance
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:39, Reply)

Yeah I know, he's a prick.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:41, Reply)

Gonz is not the only one on the list he is wrong about.
I think he's wrong about Chompy, Cr3 and Beckjsbx. I haven't met any of the others on his list apart from these people but suspect he's wrong about some of the others too.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:39, Reply)

The only one on his list whom I have met is CQ (assuming that's who he meant by 'communist'
but being mean to Gonz is like kicking a puppy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:40, Reply)

Him and Chompy are best buddies. He's just having a laugh.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:42, Reply)

This came from a flounce he had a while back.
I think a lot of it is tongue in cheek.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:43, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:44, Reply)

I'm very perceptive, witty and charming.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:45, Reply)

You forgot dashing.

( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:45, Reply)

Oh yeah. I'm slightly drunk.
1-0, 1-0, 1-0, 1-0...

AB has been very perceptive saying baldmonkey is exactly the same in real life. So, a tedious prick, then.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:47, Reply)

Haha! Good result then?
No surprises there tbh.
( girlinthehole, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:49, Reply)

Yep. Close match though.
I now have Beat Surrender on the radio and am making a fuck load of curry for the boy and his mates while we're away tomorrow. Well, while not typing on here of course.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:51, Reply)

Hey DG, I was listening to some stuff Sisters did live that I found on the internet the other day..
..in preparation for November. I thought their version of Gimme Shelter was ace. Outside of the first three albums I don't know a great deal of their stuff, I can't wait for the gig.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:09, Reply)

They haven't recorded anything since Vision Thing, apart from a couple of singles.
They do a couple of new numbers at gigs but as this is an anniversary tour most of it will be old stuff.

I'm meeting Al before the gig so if you want to come along feel free. There's a pub opposite the Roundhouse that's quite good, apparently.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:54, Reply)

Sounds good to me
As long as the eldest son and I can complete the Monopoly shot crawl in time I'll see you there. Floodland was one of the first albums I ever bought and it would be in my top ten of all time if I could find a way of judging art that didn't make me feel a bit queasy.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 20:43, Reply)

Fending off lurgy with chilli and lime, and maybe some brandy...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:25, Reply)

Lurgy?
Poor Roota. You'd better get rid of it before we see you. I don't want to spend my birthday lurgied up.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:34, Reply)

That's ages off!
The concoction will save me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:02, Reply)

This Liverpool game is shit
If they're going to crawl to a win at least Suarez could get some goals and therefore some points for my FF team.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 18:47, Reply)

Evening chumps!
are we all lazy internet-shut-ins tonight, or what?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:15, Reply)

Not my fault.
Meant to be at a birthday party but got the mange.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:16, Reply)

aww man
that doesn't count, then
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:26, Reply)

I've been a lazy internet shut in all day.
Alright you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:16, Reply)

alright
I went out into the real world today. Just a little bit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:26, Reply)

Was it scary?
Were there 'people'?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:28, Reply)

yeah
but I found a wifi connection and talked to you guys for a bit, that made it less like the outside world
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:30, Reply)

Evening.
I have been a proper shut in all day today. I see no reason for this to change tonight.
( Kroney, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:28, Reply)

woo!
join the shut-in party!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 22 Oct 2011, 19:30, Reply)