Clocks back and forward
So do we really need to do this any more? I find that with the invention of "street lights" it is perfectly possible to walk around in the dark without injury. If a few pasty ginger Scottish kids get run over then so be it

What did non-bash attendees get up to this weekend?

Alt:
Thomas the tank engine or Roary the racing car?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 6:24, 195 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I went up to Melbourne for a dance class and such on Friday night.
Was honestly one of the best nights I've had all year. The atmosphere was fantastic, the people were looking good, and I didn't feel like a left-footed yokel from the country - I was holding my own against people who have danced for years!
And then I had to drive alllll the way back home, and I spent that time singing loudly to my mixed-cds. And once home, I realised how very, VERY quiet my life here is.

Also, Thomas, everytime.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 6:46, Reply)

In technical terms I am "shit" at dancing
I can get down on the dancefloor fine with about 6 pints in me, but proper dancing is a total FAIL
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:49, Reply)

I get worse at dancing the more I drink.
But then again, when I drink, dancing isn't usually at the top of my list of things to do. Usually it involves more drinking.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I seem to have been really busy
without actually doing a great deal. I did make beef wellington and apple strudel last night though. I'm still kind of full...

Who and what the fuck is Roary? Thomas, obviously.
(berk, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 7:33, Reply)

Roary the Racing Car
as voiced by Peter "funny" Kay
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:40, Reply)

'Remember cars?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Never heard of them
Is that Lightning McQueen?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:49, Reply)

The poor 1980's Gary Numan single?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I'm rather partial to bit of Numan.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:55, Reply)

* avoids obvious strikethrough *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

As Lusty bizarrely seems to be partial to a bit of "old man"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

I'm watching you, pal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Even with the glaucoma and cataracts?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Leave the clocks on GMT,. it is easier to navigate with the Sun.
I went to a wedding of a friend, it was rather good, but I hate having cameras pointed at me, and then being asked to pay for the privelige of buying the video.

Alt: Thomas the tank engine every time. All the rest can fuck off.

Edit: oooh, I'm a bat.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 7:41, Reply)

EDIT: you're a something that sounds like 'bat'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:24, Reply)

Cat, hat, gnat,...
Are, that one,.. yep.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:32, Reply)

You're a right fucking gnat.
At least I think that's what they're shouting.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Hung like a ....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:42, Reply)

I've got a headache
That's all.

Morning everyone.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:19, Reply)

'MORNIN' JEFF WOULD YOU LIKE A NICE CIP OF COFFEE?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:22, Reply)

Yes.
And some toast.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:24, Reply)

What happened to 'please'?
Tsk.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:25, Reply)

Sorry.
Please can I have some toast. You twat.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:27, Reply)

'Please get me some fucking toast
before I shank you. Thanks awfully'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Today is D-Day for Monty.
I should know by close of business if I am going to go bankrupt and lose my luvverly home. It's going to be a long day.

Alt: I don't want either of them, thank you. I prefer 'first person shoot-em-ups' on the 'SNES'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:22, Reply)

first person shooters on the SNES?
Were there any? Are you sure?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:27, Reply)

How the fuck would I know?
I am taking the piss, old boy. Haven't a bally clue.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:38, Reply)

I'm more than prepared to look after your record collection if you get thrown out on the street.
Your leperous cadavre can find a spike to stay in.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:39, Reply)

I'm sure Gonz will look after Lusty.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Thanks mate!
It's nice to know I have friends who'll help me out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:46, Reply)

And for very reasonable money too.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Fingers crossed it turns out the right way then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Yes siree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Good luck

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Cheers

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I neither know, nor care whether it's needed anymore.
Fantastic bash this weekend, I'm aware your question wasn't aimed at me, but I'm just feeling rebellious like that.

Alt: Thomas.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:34, Reply)

Morning otters
I've done absolutely loads this weekend. Nothing fun, but it's made me feel like a proper grown up and stuff. So we have a leak on a stop cock on the immersion tank. Apparently this is not a Good Thing.

Alt: who? What about Bagpuss or the Flumps?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:40, Reply)

I suppose when a chap reaches a certain age
having an occasional leak on the old stop cock is only to be expected.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)

This explains both the staining and the smell

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:42, Reply)

I hope your bank locks you out and flushes all your drugs down the lav.
And so does my piss-ridden old husband.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Harsh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:46, Reply)

He started it

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:47, Reply)

I actually thought he was talking about himself

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:48, Reply)

He was talking about my ancient other half, as many are wont to do.
Just to clarify, I'm only joshing, and I hope everything goes well for monty.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Alt:
Bagpuss was fucking terrifying! Flumps FTW.

Pom-pom Pom-pom Pom Pooooooomp Pomp Pomp
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Bagpuss is surely a euphamism ffor a ruined mimsy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

There are only 50 odd days
Until Christmas. I hate Christmas
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:40, Reply)

That's because you're a miserable old cunt.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)

I hate it too
Become thoroughly sick of the commercialisation behind it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:44, Reply)

This Christmas will be excellent
The kids are going mental about it already
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:46, Reply)

That's the best part
Fuck the Jesus part, that bit's shit, give me presents and fill me with food and booze!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Wait until the baba is older.
Christmas suddenly makes sense then. Kids opening the living room door on Christmas morning and seeing all the presents, the empty glass and mince pie wrapper, etc.

Soppy as fuck but fucking brilliant
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)

I don't even give a shit about the presents anymore
Give me 5 days off work, a massive beef dinner, then fuck off.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

*places beef on the table*
*reverses out of room with head bowed*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Please also visit Chez Sportscow as above

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

There are 34 days until the sportsbirthday
EDIT:

Can I keep my pumpkin icon please? They are ace
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:44, Reply)

You must be a touch before me then.
I was thinking that about the icon.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:47, Reply)

I always come first
oh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Shit, really?
Damn, I'd best try and sort something out for mine then.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I may have miscounted

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Morning all
Some twat refused to reverse 20 yards so i could drive downa street on Saturday, I had 100 yrds to go back. So I turned off the engine and sat there for 10 mins until they gave up, yey for small victories!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:50, Reply)

*awkward bastard high fives*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)

This^
Courteousness is a lost art these days
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)

I would have capitualted but
as I gestured "move back" he lifted the can of drink he had out of the window to say, 'I got all the time in the world mate' which pissed me off
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Cockneys innit?
CUNTS
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Actually one was Asian and one afro caribbean, but i didn't think this was relevant

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:55, Reply)

It wouldn't matter if they were martians. Bad manners are bad manners.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Lip up fatty

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Damn that Buster Bloodvessel.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Is he still alive?
Always preferred Judge Dreadd myself.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Well done.
I dream of having such an opportunity to do that myself.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)

I had dropped the misses off at a Halloween party and was on my way home with the babba
so i really had nowhere to be and was not missing anything
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Don't down play yourself,
That's our job.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

You mean you didn't see x factor?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Friad not, I watched a documentary about the recent experiment where scientists claimed to haefgv measured a neutrino travelling faster than the speed of light...
rock and roll saturday night
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:00, Reply)

They are re-doing the experiment a different way, aren't they?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Yes they are, we are talking about 6 nano-seconds faster than light over the equivilant distance

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)

I read up on it but didn't see the documentary
Did they have any theories?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

As to why they traveled so fast? Not as such
But they did have theories as to why the experiment may have been inaccurate
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

My theory is that it's rather dull.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Hello grumpy, nice weekend?
Did you get some daughter time?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I witnessed a great example of just this on the train many years ago
Often the train home would be absolutely packed and you would be unable to get on and have to wait for the next one. Train turns up, fairly full but not packed and the guard gets off and says that nobody could board. Guy kicks off and gets on the train. Guard says the train isn't moving until he gets off

"OK mate, I'll just stand here and wait for the next one then"

Guard gives in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

excellent
I once stood in front of a bus until he opened the doors and let us on
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Ha!
You've reminded me of outfixing a bus driver when I was 16.

Walked down to the bus stop and saw the bus drive straight past me at the stop. The bus had to turn a sharp corner and go up a hill where lots of cars were aprked, meaning it couldn't go particularly fast.

Young sportscow sprints up the steps of the pub where the bus stop was, legs it across the car park, hirdles the wall and makes it to the next bus stop before the bus.

Hand out, bus stops, big shit eating grin and a "thanks for stopping prick" and sportscow is on his way
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I've chased a bus before as well
makes you look a bit mental, but it's worth it. I missed the bus at the first stop and the second, but caught the fucker at the third.

This was all on a completely straight road...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I have a properly deranged half-Japanese friend
who once attacked a bus with a wooden Kendo sword for failing to open its doors to him in West Hampstead. He also once broke into a terrified spinster's house because in his drink and drug-twisted lunacy he'd convinced himself it was a knocking shop.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

ONe should be morer careful with ones lighting

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

This was his argument.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Had a drizzly day out with the family in the big smoke yesterday
Natural History Museum, Science Museum, Embankment Gardens, Fleet Street, Trafalgar Square, some bizarre shop based entirely around M&Ms and Baker Street. The children got to build a spinosaurus and got their picture taken with one of those living statues. Got home and watched Exorcist III and Halloween 6 then forced myself to stop watching Ginger Snaps 2 and go to bed.

Alt: Roary has better comic relief thanks to comedy stylings of Molecombe the mechanic. Or something.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

You managed to fit all that in to one day in London?
A bit like the american tourists who "do" England in 3 days.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

...and still have time for a delightful dinner at an Angus Steak House.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I am strangely attracted to those places
out of morbid curiousity really
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

These places facinate me. I have no idea why.
Perhaps it's the 80's menu or the booths with red velvet seats, the dessert (should be pudding) trolley or the look of boredom and desperation on the faces of those dining there.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

And the microscopic slivers of shoe leather sold as 'steaks'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I dont think I've ever been in one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Me either
We just took a picnic
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

We've been to both museums a few times before so we didn't do every section
The main reason we were there was for the spinosaurus thing that the BBC were doing at the NHM to tie in with Planet Dinosaur. The rest was little bits of sightseeing here and there. I'll be trying to cover the Monopoly board in two weeks time so I'll see how long that takes.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

My friend is marketing manager at the NHM, cool job

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)

That is a cool job.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Except you have to work in marketing.
Even there, I'd go batshit mental and slaughter hundreds after a couple of weeks of "marketing meetings"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I believe if you were slaughtering other marketing people
This would be classified as justifiable homicide under UK law. You may even be allowed more time to finish the job off.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

^this man speaks the truth.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

wanking until we were spaffing dust, obviously.
I played a lot of hockey this weekend. Also, I made some pizza, drank some wine and bought some new underarmour. I bet you're on the edge of your seat - what can possibly top that in the exciting world of badger?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I resealed my bath with grey silicone!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I visited my in-laws in Featherstone and carved pumpkins

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

*epic life fives*
I did try to stop my bathroom door squeaking but to no avail, I think it's the frame rather than the hinge.

Also, the bloke from round the corner lowered the fucking tone again by parking his new ferrari next to my car. The classless pleb.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

how utterly crass

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

I know.
Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drive those.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I raped a disabled boy!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

WITH A SPOON!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Well, it was more like a pickaxe, if I'm honest.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

i was glad of the extra hour after a halloween party on the sat!
admittedly i couldn't care less about the ginger scottish kids though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Clocks back/forward with young kids always equals one hour less sleep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

which is precisely why i have none

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

no clocks? good choice.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

But how will she add up how much time to charge?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)

ah no
i have about 17 clocks and they all tell slightly different times.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I geeked out at the MCM Expo
Where, according to FB at least, one other B3tan (or friend of a B3tan maybe) was also geeking out, it seems.

I also have a phone that is from 3 minutes into the future, as it sets itself when the clocks change, but is set 3 minutes fast, so I intend to use it to take photos of things that are going to happen in three minutes time and make fortunes betting on them.

And Southend are top of league two again.

So all in all, a good weekend.

alt: God knows, I am aware of their existence, but have never seen either. I did, however, have to sit through 8 consecutive episodes The Shoe People with my niece last week. It's fucking awful.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I've long been campaigning for the powers that be
to shift the day that the clocks go back to midweek. If I need an extra hours sleep on a Sunday, I could fit it in I'm sure. Please give it to me when I need it, say Wednesday morning, and I will enjoy it all the more.
Who needs bashes to get drunk? I have managed a beer festival, a night out watching bands, the wife insisted on watching some singing on telly on Saturday night which I took as tacit consent for me to sit in the back garden drinking and getting stoned. And finally a halloween party f'kids on Sunday (an excuse to drink pumpkin beer).

Alt: These are both aimed at children, not miserable men in their 30s
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I'm not really happy with my use of the phrase "the powers that be" here
Makes me sound like a right cunt*.

*Or at least a different sort of cunt from the type I thought I was
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Spent the weekend at the in-laws
which meant they willingly did a lit of the childcare while I mooched round some Home Counties charity shops buying posh kid's nice cast-offs for catfaceceilidhbaby. Then I drank a lot of tea and helped Catface do his homework.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Is it not the case
that we are NOW in GMT? Therefore unless we move GMT - and thus fuck up the VERY FABRIC OF TIIIIIME, actually the bit people moan about (ie winter) wouldn't be any different?

I am assuming I'm wrong here otherwise I'm sure I'd have heard this argument before.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)

We are in GMT now.
we would basically stay at GMT+1 all year round if they decided to mess about.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

GMT+1 (or CET as those dirty forrins call it) sounds like a good idea on paper
conjuring up images of long, light balmy evenings with everyone sitting outside enjoying the "European-style cafe culture" brought about by the changes to the licensing laws a few years back. But I think we all know that the reality would be nothing like this, we'll all just have to pull the curtains across to stop the glare on the TV.
Also, it's just not British to move away from reassuring, familiar old GMT, one of the few leftovers of the glory days of the Empire.
That said, it might be worth doing just to piss off the Scots...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

If the french were able to call it PMT you can be sure they would be keeping it.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Most likely
Although I think those humourless French would construct their sentence to form the far less amusing TMP. We didn't bail their arses out in two world wars to allow that to happen.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

No quite, we would still be putting our clocks forward to stay in line with the contementals during the summer.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

FANNY FLAPS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

A well reasoned argument there.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

COCK LIPS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Well done, I didn't see that coming at all.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

ELEPHANTINE FORESKIN

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

used to play left wing for Man City in the 40's I believe.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

ARSE AERPLOANEOGRAPHY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Or American Airlines, as they are officially known.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

HELICOPTER VULVA

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

That one must be Richard Branson
I like deciphering your clues.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Aw, man.
It's the "combine an inanimate object with a colloquial term for a body part" game.

I vote for "cathedral nutsack"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

SHITEHOLE LAWNTENNIS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Henman Hill.
I'm bored of you now. Bye.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

i THINK we could be close friends, if we give it a real try

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I doubt it
you don't even know that lawn tennis is two words, you incorrigible fucktard.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

fucktard isn't a real word neither
and it's ENCOURAGE-ABLE
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

I'm afraid wiktionary and urban dictionary both disagree with you.
You complete cuntpuffin.

And it's not. Although, you well know that, you silly, silly troll.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

they'RE NOT REAL DICTIONARIES
YOU STUPID MAD FOOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

but you're not a real person.
Game, set, and, I believe, match.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

WHOA, THAT'S SOME EXistensial stuff right there

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

My weekend was fucking shit, thanks for asking.

( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

good

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Alright, Adam?

( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

BALLBAG BONGOS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

So I was off work (and therefore off off-topic) on Thursday and Friday
It seems you all took the opportunity to sort a few things out in my absence. So, I think I have picked up:
- Legless has reset the bar for qotw failing
- /talk and /offtopic are now best friends
- Quentin is called Adam; everyone still thinks he's an unfunny cunt

Is there anything else I need to know?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)

your mum likes it up the jaffer

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)

That is not new

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

YOU DIDN'T SAY NEW

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Shouldn't you be at school?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)

ICT lesson
woo!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Then I'm glad you're learning something productive.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Seems to be typing quite well with a headstick.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Yes. You are bent.
You may of course already know this, mind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Of course
There seems to be a lot of it about.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

It's all the female hormones in lager.
That's why after 10 pints you become overly emotional and can't drive.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Who could forget that government ad campaign?
Remember: If you need to drink and drive, stick to proper man's beer.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I got stepped as part of the great legless fiasco
HOW UNFAIR!!!!!
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

seriously?
what for, for fuck's sake?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Yeah I don't think I've moaned about it enough
Rob got pissy on Friday evening pulled the qotw (legless won for all you fanboys), replaced it, pulled that due to grot, reinstated the old one, and then invited people to get stepped on /talk.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Friday was the most entertaining day on here for some time.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

thanks in no small part to, OFTIWEAK, QUENTIN OFTIWEAK

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

You got stepped, and this Quentin cunt didn't?
The fuck?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Quentins ace, he's got very important news for us all

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

oh shit you remembered!
WHIO WANTS ME TO TELL YOU ALL NOW???
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Me, I do!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I don't want to tell you, sorry
I might just gaz the important member sopf this bopard
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

To be here enough to be considerd important is surely a huge failing in life?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

everybody here is a huge failing

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Don't put yourself down, photocopying is VERY important

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I done a photocopy of my foofoo last week

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

oh wait, you're the one with the dead mum
hahahahahahaha, mother's day must be quite depressing for you

and christmas and birthdays and that LOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

How shit.
Anyone else get 'disciplined' or just you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Meh just me, it's nice to be stepped as opposed to being banned for a change

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Hang on, you volunteered to be stepped. Rob asked if anyone wanted to be and you took him up on his offer

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

He wasn't supposed to go through with though, I didn't post grot to begin with

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:32, Reply)

At least the grot was removed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Rory, you have long been my favourite b3tan, this is a gross injustice.
I am drafting a letter to Rob right now, demanding a full and frank apology. In solidarity I shall boycott b3ta for 24 hours (probably at the weekend, 'cause I don't really use it then).
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Send him a gaz that you know where his kids go to school, he'd prefer that

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Done.
I included a picture of my penis to let him know that I mean business.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Ideal!
He will no doubt mistake it for a small child's and think you've already got his kids in the back of your van.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I too shall boycott B3ta between midnight and 8am EVERY DAY
until this INJUSTICE is addressed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

lazy

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I just sent an email with the greeting "Hi Poopy" instead of Poppy....

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

P45 imminient

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Can I get a job with you photocopying please?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

why would you want to photocopy 'please'?
LOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I need 17 copies of the international rules on how to frisbee
for my scout meeting, ta.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:50, Reply)

SCATCH
throw ball
catch ball
throw ball
catch ball
throw ball
catch ball
throw ball
catch ball
throw ball
catch ball
throw ball
catch ball
throw ball
catch ball
throw ball
catch ball
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:53, Reply)