Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Bored nowHappiest/Worst birthday stories please
Alt:
SCHMALT
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:48,
210 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
This year. Got shitfaced at the Duck and even had CAKE. Everyone sang happy bday.The 90's pop bingo folk even gave me a prize. Got free shots off the bar staff and was lolspoilt.
18th. I did nothing.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:50,
Reply)
Cake and booze is goodI got jumped just before my 19th birthday so ended up out on the town dribbling beer out of the corner of my mouth, due to the swelling.
I'll leave it like this for strikethrough lols
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:52,
Reply)
Nah, you've had enough.That sounds fun.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:56,
Reply)
It was actually a good nightIt worked out easier to drink cocktails using a straw which didn't at all get me leathered, ending up with my smoking spliffs in the club made from cherry baccy
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:57,
Reply)
my 18th was shit toomy oxford entrance exam was the very next day. we all went to the pub and i ordered my first legal round.
mine was a diet coke.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:54,
Reply)
Diet coke is shit, that's why(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:54,
Reply)
Yeah, she had her passportOh, you mean Oxford
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:55,
Reply)
pub? yesbig boobs = easy to get served
oxford? no
fucking useless fuckers. not that i am still bitter or anything... no, i LOVED my time at london, wouldn't change a thing.......
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:58,
Reply)
I felt sorry for you and thought what a beakering cunt all in the same post there.You sure stir up some emotions swipey.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:57,
Reply)
it's funny becauseof my many, many thousands of beakering posts... i didn't actually think that was one of them. ah well.
and i had a good night really, all my mates were there, and they were drinking happily.
why don't we just agree: it wasn't beakering, and there was no need to feel sorry for me, but i AM a cunt?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
slightly squidgy around the middleand hard in certain areas when the wind changes direction?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:08,
Reply)
Dunno love, never met you never mind touched you.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:12,
Reply)
half a cider and a packet of pork scratchings could change all that(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:17,
Reply)
are you getting an xbox or a ps3?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:56,
Reply)
still, new scooter eh? COOL.Do some bunny hops and a wikedcoolendo down the skate park!!!
I bets the cool kids will be dead impressed.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
i can't grind, i does bunny hop, wheelie and endo tho and a spinny thingwicked
SCATCH EXTREME!
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:00, Reply)
Man, you must be king of the block in your cul-de-sac(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:00,
Reply)
nah theres 5 year olds round my way who can do a jump off a euro land in a manual, spin and hop round do it agin'm piss poor :(
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:02, Reply)
ohso you think living in a tower-block is a bad thing?
not only stupid and boring but a nasty little snob too?
marvellous.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:08,
Reply)
7th birthdayMay have accidentally slammed the front door right into my advancing 2-year-old sister's face.
Bitch was out of order.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:56, Reply)
I'd imagine so with a door in her face(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
I always hate my birthday and so never make any plans. Not because I am pissed off about getting older, just because I find birthdays boring. I may make more of an effort for my 40th though.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
I've never quite understood why it was posh(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:02,
Reply)
cos the rubber costs money and it feels like someone else is doing it(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:04, Reply)
With all that waving, I bet she wanks like Geoff Capes(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:06,
Reply)
Geoff is a gentle and considerate loverall that bbudgy breeding has given him the soft hands of a Morrocan concubine
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:06,
Reply)
I'll plump for my 4th birthday as the bestIt must have been 1979, which I think was a particularly hot year. In any event, as the pictures attest my parents seem to have allowed me to spend my entire birthday party stark naked, those were the days. Maybe I should re-enact this at my next birthday gathering, what do you think?
I think my last birthday was the worst, I'd just split up with my girlfriend and decided to do the walking/camping holiday I'd planned with her on my own, over the weekend of my birthday (a bank holiday).
I knackered myself on the first day by trying to walk too far with too much kit. On the second day I was barely fit to drag myself to the nearest bus stop for the 2 hour wait for a Sunday bus.
I took the bus to Lyme Regis but couldn't find B&B accommodation at short notice and didn't feel up to the walk to the nearest camp site so got the train home a day early (£50 penalty fair).
The next day was my birthday, so I was alone, tired, aching and skint in my flat and all my friends had made other plans because I had told them I'd be away. In the end I did get one mat to come over for a bit but it really was the grimmest birthday I can remember.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:02,
Reply)
That does indeed sound shit(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:04,
Reply)
It was.Luckily I'm not too bothered about birthdays, it was just a shit weekend that happened to include my birthday. On the up side the next one almost has to be better.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
That's the short version.The long version is worse and possibly funnier, it involves trekking through the mist on an A Road in gathering darkness and throwing myself into the hedge whenever some head lights approach and also having to stand in the camp-site showers (thank god they had some) for 20 minutes before the hot water loosened my seized up leg muscles enough to let me stagger to a nearby pub for some dinner.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:10,
Reply)
Next year will be awesome and not only because you will be spending it in the nude : )(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:20,
Reply)
I think the main advantage of my last birthday is that my next one can hardly fair to be better.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:33,
Reply)
I don't remember a lot of my birthdaysPretty sure alcohol was involved. But that's the same as every day.
Alcoholiclols
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:02,
Reply)
Man I wish I could drink at work(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:12,
Reply)
Maybe I'll start making my ice tea long island style(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:13,
Reply)
I'm not sure I've ever had one(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:13,
Reply)
You're missing out.I'll send you some empty Liptons bottles so you can smuggle some in to work
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:14,
Reply)
They're magnificentDon't half get you pissed though.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:19,
Reply)
I genuinely do not remember my 18th, 21st was a big house party at was a good laugh30th next year, I'll probably just kill myself
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:03,
Reply)
I fell asleep into a curry on my 30th after many many many vodkas(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:04,
Reply)
I did this at someone else's 18thAfter many, many Sambucas. There is a video somewhere which I will not be putting up. I have a upfrontle feeling it will resurface at my wedding.
(
Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:13,
Reply)
When I was a kid, my Parents had all my friends over for fireworks and mum would bake a cake that me and my BEST friends (very important to include/exclude the right people) got to decorate it.One year my parents converted the loft and me and my Dad went up there with spray paint and grafited all over it, that was totally awesome. I had in big scrawl "Terror Kids" because that was the name of our band even though nobody could play anything.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:05,
Reply)
Hmm it seems I can only enjoy myself with MDs...Best ones:
My 18th - I had two celebrations for this. One at my parents house where my mum & dad bought a stack of beer, cooked a big pot of curry and then kindly fucked off out for the night. Then the unofficial celebration which took place at a friend's house where we all took acid and spent the night watching the film It.
My 21st - had a BBQ round at a friend's house, he baked a delicious hash cake, we necked a load of speed then headed into town to dance our skinny arses off. Ate the remainder of the cake on the train back up to uni a couple of days later.
Worst: My 22nd - went to the V Festival (which is the shittest of all the festivals); had a row with my girlfriend and split up with her; it poured with rain non-stop; ate dinner in the Hare Krishna tent with tears and rain pouring down my cheeks. And, if that wasn't all bad enough, I'm pretty sure that cunt Robbie Williams played there.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:05,
Reply)
In the Hare Krishna tent?Oh how the shitey have fallen
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
Free foodplus I was vulnerable.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:09,
Reply)
Naw, this was when he was at his "fat dancer hanging around with oas*s" peakThe cunt was on the main stage.
Like I said - V is the worst festival ever.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:14,
Reply)
I've only been onceIt was OK but my mate fucked off with all the beer tokens on the last night and returned with them after the bars had closed, the stupid fat cunt. And he lost my cowboy hat
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:15,
Reply)
Y'see those two words sum up just how shite it really is"Beer tokens"
What is wrong with "money" you cunts?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:20,
Reply)
This^The bands on were good - the beer situation was not.
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:21,
Reply)
That's how they get youfuckin' religous types, cunts teh lot of them
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:10,
Reply)
On the plus side I got a new haircut and some nice orange robes to wearCome on, sing along with me:
Hare, Hare Hare Rama, Hare Hare Krishna...
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:15,
Reply)
Also, I have a lunch experiment on the go, seen as I'm now a sad shut in.What goes best with eggs? (potato based items that can be baked and I have in the freezer wise)
I can see that grabbed your interest. So, I've made chips, croquettes, roasties and waffles to go with my eggs.
fuck me I REALLY need to get back to work
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
Hang on, how are your eggs cooked?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:08,
Reply)
ChipsChip + egg yolk = heaven
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:11,
Reply)
see now, fluffy croquette+yolk = ???? possible heaven?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:11,
Reply)
Croquettes are rarely as nice as they appear(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:12,
Reply)
good grief, never had you down for a wrongun(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:13,
Reply)
They are nice, don't get me wrongThey should just be nicer
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:14,
Reply)
its mash in breadcrumsb what the fuck do you want a golden chariot?(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:15, Reply)
moon on a stick. That's what you want, Friz's face on a fucking stick.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:16,
Reply)
Whoa there cowboy. This ain't /talk. They don't like that kinda chat round these parts. If you're not careful a mod will bum you, or get Gonz to do it.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:19,
Reply)
the whole damn things out of order man, he be all up in our shizzle(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)
Well, I'm the resident /OTer with no standardsBut even then, no thanks.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:20,
Reply)
i wasn't offering, were you threatening to rape me just then? i think thats what you were ding(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
fried egg and chips is classic pleb foodI would suggest a rostie
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:09,
Reply)
Fried egg and chips is fucking ace, you posh cunt!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:10,
Reply)
I'll soon find out, it's almost ready.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:11,
Reply)
Rosties goes better with meat and/or a sauce(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:12,
Reply)
Not that I can remember, TBHShow your findings
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:16,
Reply)
So I'll be able to tell you.You're making a lot of assumptions here. Like any good scientist I'm keeping an open mind.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:17,
Reply)
I await the results, cock in hand(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:18,
Reply)
I have a feeling the chip will win, due to salt(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:19,
Reply)
Ha, you forgot one thing.I'm from Glasgow, I salt my fags before having a smoke.
This shall be a fair test.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:21,
Reply)
18thI didn't pay for a drink all night. Everybody I knew bought me drinks, and so did loads of people I didn't. Finished the night totally unconscious in the toilets at Wetherspoons. I have never, ever been so drunk again even after three years at uni in Scotland.
Best or worst? Still not sure, but it was memorable.
(
Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:09,
Reply)
My dad died a couple of days before my 16th birthdaythe whole family was in such disarray that I didn't get any presents that year. Bit of a shitter.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:15, Reply)
HmmBest was either my 21st or my 16th.
21st - Pub golf, spent the day getting shitfaced with my friends, on a 12 hour drinking session I only spent £6, no hangover the next day, was woken with a cooked breakfast and a beer.
16th - Was woken by my brother, asking whether he should have sausage, bacon or egg for breakfast? I answered all 3, and went back to sleep, only to be woken a few minutes later with a sandwich containing all 3. He then told me to get up, and come the shop. He sent me to a friends house who lived a few doors down from the shop, as he disappeared in. Texted me a couple of minutes later to meet him, and my friend and I headed back up to meet him, only to see he's carrying a crate he's just bought for me, and we head home. Throughout the day, a few of my friends arrive, until it ends up with about 10 of us in the living room, listening to music, drinking, and having a great laugh.
I think the reasons I enjoyed that one so much is because my brother was an absolute prick, with whom I argued regularly. For him to then go out of his way to make sure I had a great final birthday before I moved away meant a lot.
Worst was my 18th. I'd spent the day working, was absolutely knackered, most of my friends either couldn't be there, or weren't 18 yet, so we couldn't go in most pubs. I ended up home by midnight, stone cold sober.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:17,
Reply)
LiesYou're not 21 yet, are you?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:22,
Reply)
23 nowThat was pretty shit too, I'd said to my girlfriend I only wanted a quiet one, as she said she'd organise something. She neglected to invite anyone.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:23,
Reply)
but will you ever see 24? the way things are goin i don't know/coolio
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)
I have no idea what that is(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:25,
Reply)
I know that had Cat Deeley on if that helps(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:35,
Reply)
18th seems to be a popular choice for shit birthday.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:30,
Reply)
I think it's down to the fact that you're near guaranteed to be unable to drink with half your friends, as they won't be 18 yet(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:32,
Reply)
I started going to pubs when I was sixteen, it's not really that big an issue(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:33,
Reply)
This year was pretty fantastic.House full of B3tans and I was as pissed as a fart.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:22,
Reply)
Last yearwas probably the best, certainly in a very long time. Sorry to bang on about it, but I'd been sober for exactly 14 months and i just took the day off work and walked along Regent's Canal from Kings Cross to Paddington, stopping off for breakfast in Camden, then to go to London Zoo, then I realised I was near Lord's so I took a guided tour of the cricket ground, walked up to Abby Road, had dinner in Little Venice and then went home tired and happy at about 8PM.
The year before that, my 36th, I went to Thorpe Park which was great.
The ones between being 30 and 35 I don't have more than hazy memories of. So I guess they are the worst.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:38,
Reply)
I can honestly saythat I think my 38th birthday was far and away the most enjoyable one ever.
I had a right fucking laugh and you lot were so lovely to me. Gay answer is gay. But true.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:40,
Reply)
Oi youAnswer my gaz! Please....
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:43,
Reply)
Oh for fucks sakeAt least allow me this:
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:46,
Reply)
I'll get you Apey*shakes fist*
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:47,
Reply)
there is anothe big girl's blouse you know.Make sure you get the right one.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:47,
Reply)
For some reason you seem to be well liked.Being-a-total-cunt fail.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:45,
Reply)
We all know under the happy facade lies a black heart(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:41,
Reply)
But I wasn't there, so it can't have been that good...can it?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:44,
Reply)
That was the best thing about it, you kippery flange.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:48,
Reply)
I suspect my fiftieth will be horrendous.I may choose to self medicate with MASSIVE DRUGS just to get through it.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:40,
Reply)
I shall administer them from out of my bath chair.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:42,
Reply)
Good! I'm glad you will be there to go through it with me.I'm deadly serious btw.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:43,
Reply)
Mrs Cow is 40 next yearShe DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT....
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:42,
Reply)
I was much more grumpy about turning 30 than I was turning 40.(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:45,
Reply)
and the NHS will no longer make you pay for them!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:44,
Reply)
Sorry to keep banging on about this.... 
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:43,
Reply)
Chips are, frankly what I expected, a damn fine traditional option.Roasties are fucking awesome but not so much when the yolk is gone.
Croquettes, frankly taste weird as fuck with egg.
Winner is waffle. You can put your egg on it once the yolk is done.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:48,
Reply)
I thought it might be the waffle, surely they're about the perfect size to hold an egg on top?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:49,
Reply)
Fucking genius.The waffle was invented in 1843 by Sir Hilary Waffle, as a cheap and tasty alternative to bricks.
Sadly, the great potato famine brought this to a premature end and he died a pauper, mauled by wild dogs on the streets of Coventry.
Sir Captain Birdseye bought the crumbling Waffle Manor in 1974 and found the plans for the waffle while putting in a nice new conservatory. The rest, is historyfacts.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:53,
Reply)
If those are oven chips, they look hidieously overdone(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:46,
Reply)
That eggs looks overdone tooHard yolks FAIL
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:47,
Reply)
I don't know, it doesn't look too bad...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:49,
Reply)
Not at all, chips didn't look that bad on my plate and egg was awesome.Camera fail, if anything.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:49,
Reply)
christonly on OT could a /talker be bullied for a food fail.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:56,
Reply)
My own fault really, was just trying to fit in :'((
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:58,
Reply)
yeahbut this lot are like a pack of wild animals when it comes to food.
imagine the reaction on /talk if i went on there and said, "oooh, my breasts are just too full and bouncy for this itty bitty red lace bra that i am almost wearing today, i'm having to stroke them down."
a food fail on here? worse.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:00,
Reply)
*hears the sound of a thousand pander-gaz requests**including mine*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:02,
Reply)
You got mine though, right?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:23,
Reply)
Alright, it's not that small!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:38,
Reply)
Yeah cause /talk NEVER bangs on about food.I'm surprised any of us can type, what with our keyboards being all slick with saliva.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:02,
Reply)
i'm almost tempted to do it nowi think they'd actually believe me. janet would choke on her own dreads with rage. and AB would have to set up a brand new fail archive.
i would, but it's actually purple today...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:17,
Reply)
He's ScottishIt's called "salad"
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:48,
Reply)
nah, that's the shite we throw away when we get a kebab.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:49,
Reply)
In that case, does that mean I can start eating this again?
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:50,
Reply)
You may mockwww.guardian.co.uk/education/2011/nov/17/crib-sheet-pizza-vegetable?newsfeed=true
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:57,
Reply)
I saw kids getting pizza for breakfast on Jamies American trip.(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:59,
Reply)
Is that allowed if it's left over from the night before?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
Fucking hell.We were able to get bacon baps at my sixth form, that was alright when you were hungover, but any other time the stuff was vile.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:15,
Reply)
Just walked past a house round our way on my lunch breakHad a sign in the front window saying "Cold callers will be exsanguinated".
Wannabe Vampire? Or just an aggressive, cantankerous old sod with an impressive mastery of long words?
It's basically Monty either way
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:50, Reply)
Exsanguination is one of my favouritewords. I'm not a vampire wannabe either.
I would prefer to defenestrate cold callers though.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:52, Reply)
Now there's a brilliant word. DefenestrationImpractical though. You'd have to invite them in, and then break your own windows.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Giving cold callers your business is no way to discourage themThese people will happily take a few facial lacerations if it means a sale
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:58, Reply)
The worst thing about my birthday is its proximity to xmasmeaning people generally can't be fucked getting excited about it.
My 11th was probably the worst - my super duper present was broken when I opened it, and I fell over at school and knocked myself out.
My 16th birthday was teh day of my Latin GCSE mock. That was fun.
I'm hoping against hope that this year's might be worth remembering, but I expect it'll be another major disappointment.
Wow, that was emo. What I meant was 'birthdays are ace, and this year's is going to be even more ace than usual'. Or something.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:52,
Reply)
I was asked to stop studying GCSE Latin as they forsaw a fail(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:56,
Reply)
Loser.They kept trying to make me take it for A Level, but as I would have been the only one in the class, and the Latin teacher was old and creepy, I politely declined.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:57,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »