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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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Skiving
Best/worst times when not doing what you should have been doing. Extra points for being in up to the back wheels when discovered

Alt:
M, H, S or W
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:18, 218 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I was caught in the pub (nearby whilst) at school by one of the teachers
We should have been in a maths lesson. he should have been teaching a biology lesson. STANDOFF.

/I was not, however, in up to my back wheels at the time. that would have been improper conduct in the school uniform, after all.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)
you had a pub at your school...?!?!
lololololololol
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:21, Reply)
Ale School!

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
what?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
A school with a pub?
I dunno right? Stop bullying me, you big bully
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:23, Reply)
lost me again sportscow, you're intellect is too far above mine

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
Then I shall retire as the victor
or something
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)
Oh, very good.
edited for the mentally challenged.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:23, Reply)
It was better originally
Period 4 - Real Ale
Period 5 - Cider
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
lolperiod

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
Expected response is expected

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)
A good start

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:21, Reply)
You've let yourself down, you've let the school down but most importantly, you've let me down.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:28, Reply)
Sir? Sir? SIR!!!
Your round!
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)
Mine's a pint of grooming.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
The punishment was astonishing
We were - eventually - reported. There were 5 of us and 2 of us were Oxbridge candidates. We were asked to confirm that the other 3 were drinking alcohol (we refused point blank) and then "warned as to our future conduct" .. 2 of the other 3 were suspended and the last one expelled. Nothing like some top-notch double standards, eh?
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)
S

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
My condiments to the chef

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
W?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:23, Reply)
Disney need to say that

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)
H?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
Who goes there?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
M?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeser

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)
totally confused, whats the right answer sportscow?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)
There is no spoon

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:28, Reply)
theres loads of bloody spoons what are you on about??

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
But all he needs is another item of cutlery!

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)
a fork?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1445090
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
ITS VERY CONFUSING HERE

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)
sportscow will give you the answer you seek

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)
*oracles*
*makes biscuits*
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)
NO, WITH A KNIFE!!!11!1!

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
I fell into the thresher.
Claret everywhere.
Good times.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)
Best of all the off licences

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:28, Reply)
They fucking love you here PH.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
I've got a big fucking scar on my arm where I put a machette across it while working as a chef.
It's not a funny story so I'll leave it at that.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)
*laughs like a loon*

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)
You could see it if you like.
I'll show you my scar if you show me yours.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)
Haha!
If only you knew where my scar was.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)
Oh miss!! Me Me Me!
On the cunt miss
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)
Yup, the old slapper's smile.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Five internet points to Cow.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
Woo hoo!
That makes 5
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
Soon you'll be able to cash them in for a prize
I'm guessing you'll go for the teasmade.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)
Cheers
White, one sugar please
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:52, Reply)
I know what scar I was talking about.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)
*agrees*
It is funny, 'cos its not my arm
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
I was still drunk at the time. The singing of opera and the police were also involved.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)
A Police Sting?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)
nope, as I said it's not really a funny story.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)
Bollocks
A b3tan being allowed to work with sharp knives is believable enough, but a b3tan having anything to do with food is obviously bullshit
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)
It was before I joined b3ta, if that helps any Darth.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)
I assume you've since renounced food and the discussion thereof
and become skeletal in appearance, like the rest of us.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)
I'm a finely chiseled adonis.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)
It's so hard to stand out in this crowd of finely chiselled adoni
That's why I've broken the mould and made a commitment to fat.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Never mind, you could always be the bear to Gary's twink.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
What greater dream can a man aspire to?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:54, Reply)
I once was giving it some beans on the dancefloor in a really grotty club
when the sweaty dancers parted and I found myself face-to-face with my history teacher. I'm not sure who was more horrified - me, as I was 16 at the time and dancing like a slut with someone who he knew very well was not my boyfriend, or him, for being a 30-something man dancing like a twat to The Cure with someone half his age.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)
i'm gonna go with you on this one, he wasn't breakin any laws or acting like a sl;ut

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)
Harlot

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
*rumbling bassline*

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)
And proud!

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)
Cue Gonz...

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Yay!
*requests titgaz*
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
I'm fairly sure I've got you on facebook
I'm sure there's enough material on there to keep you entertained.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
I dont think you have me miss

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)
*signs up to Facebook immediately*

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)
Show b3ta your bra again berk!

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)
Old news dear
why not show them yours?
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)
Both would be fine
No need to fight
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:49, Reply)
Old dear
old bra.

/explanation
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:50, Reply)
As if

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:50, Reply)
Now now
Let's stop this feudin' and a fussin'
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:53, Reply)
WOMEN BE FALLING

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:05, Reply)
Not as much as there could be

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Definitely the latter.
I saw one of my old form tutors about 2 years ago. He was out shopping with his wife, he's got to be 70.

I didn't say anything and as I walked past him he said, "Afternoon, 'Stunned." I was so taken aback I said, "Hello, Sir." I am nearly 40 years old!
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)
I have had this happen to me as well
with my junior school headmistress, whilst I was working in WHSmith.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:41, Reply)
Yes, Miss. Thank you, Miss.
Hahahahahaha!
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)
Was this in the old days when you were really porky?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:07, Reply)
Bigger than I am now but not massive, no.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:08, Reply)
How slutty are we talking here,
Facebook birthday party dress slutty?
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:11, Reply)
Not quite that bad, no
I maintain that that picture made it look a lot, lot worse than it actually was.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:16, Reply)
Its not as much fun when you beg for the pandering.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:21, Reply)
Are they making you do "work experience" in ASDA to claim your JSA?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:22, Reply)
Too bloody right.
As a taxpayer.......zzzzzzzz.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:24, Reply)
No
I'm working part time.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:31, Reply)
When I was 17
me and my girlfriend had arranged to go out separately on a Saturday night to schooley parties.

We went to different schools and she spoke about her mates and me mine, never the twain and all that.

I go to my party and at about 10pm when I am digitally introducing myself to one of the girls school's finest, I hear some hysterical Doris shouting, "You fucking bastard!" I turn to see my girlfriend watching me, in floods of tears.

Good times!
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
so which one did you marry?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)
fucking hell, are you me?
The only difference in my case was the "g/f" had said she wasn't coming because she was ill, and then turned up later at a "highly inopportune moment"
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)
Hang on a minute...
You got fingered by Stunnso as a teenager?
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)
Didn't you?
He has knuckles like Scammell wheel nuts
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
well, no, I'd have said "fucking hell, was that me?" in that case

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
but also .. yeah, why not?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
You meant nothing to me.
You were one of many.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)
yeah ... you were me.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)
Got caught bonking by someone who was under the impression the person I was bonking was still with them.
Not my finest hour but not really my fault.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
As long as you finished off before dismounting

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)
Of course
there's no need for impoliteness in times of conflict
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)
She kind of spoiled the mood somewhat.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
meh
"Be with two in two mins pet"
*jiggles*
*spurts*
*wipes*
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
Screaming, crying and ineffectual flailing fists isn't for everyone, I agree.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
*boing!*

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)
Woah. We've got a def con cowbongle here boys.
break out the diffusing slappers...
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)
COWABONGLE!

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:47, Reply)
Too right!!!
I'd have invited her onto the good ship 'Stunnedlove.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)
All aboard!

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:56, Reply)
*puts on lifejacket*

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:59, Reply)
"It's a bit choppy tonight!"

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:04, Reply)
What's that cumming over the blouse?
Is it a sportscow?
Is it a sportscow?
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:05, Reply)
*slow claps*

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:06, Reply)
Hang about!
I signed up for two birds, not two blokes and one bird!!
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:08, Reply)
Two birds, one ship.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:11, Reply)
Tag
Your on

...and by on I mean in
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:11, Reply)
right taht song right, isn't that from another song? i'm sure i heard it in like the 80s but i googled it and couldn't find nothing
i'm sure its an old song
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:12, Reply)
seriously its a dead familiar song, it can't be new

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:26, Reply)
someobdy please answer, i cna't be the only one

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:29, Reply)
You're taking the piss, right?
it's from a couple of years ago. Monster by The Automatic.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:30, Reply)
nope sorry, i've heard that song like a million times as far back as the 80s
possibly it was just a rhyme p[oeple say? i distinctly remember my dad singing it when i was a kid
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:36, Reply)
Possibly, yeah.
But as a song it's only been around since 2006. not a cover or anything.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:43, Reply)
but literally, word for word, i'm sure it was some sort of skanking motto or something
no evidence on the whole internet tho
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:48, Reply)
I'm unaware of how I can showhorn a sexual activity into this as I've never been 'caught' having sex...
... in the resepct that every time I've had sex, all the people who have seen it was fully under the knowledge that I was having sex.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)
My dad caught me having sex once but didn't say anything at the time and I never knew.
I only found out sometime later cause he told my mates who were joking about it. The bald prick.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
I was busted by my mother aged 17 when porking a student doctor
She scratched massive red lines down my back mid coitus and next morning en-route to the bathroom my Mam asked where they had come from as I had no t-shirt on
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:47, Reply)
Was she jealous?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:48, Reply)
zing.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:48, Reply)
Too fucking right she was
No fuck for me that evening, I can tell you
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:49, Reply)
Hahahaha.
No bitty?
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Not even a gash flash
Fucking nun
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:55, Reply)
your mum was 17 and scratched your back?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:00, Reply)
Well I had scratched hers

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:01, Reply)
I was never caught skiving, never been caught cheating, always been able to explain away any trouble I've been in.
I have a feeling karma is going to get me run over, or something.

Then again, I was once 'caught' by my old Maths teacher, whilst balls deep in his daughter. The reason I wasn't caught fully is due to her lightning quick reflexes leading to her throwing the cover over our heads before he was actually in the room.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:41, Reply)
You need to expand on the latter part of your post.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:48, Reply)
fucks sake man that kid was only 7 years old

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:57, Reply)
I did get caught 'working' in a kitchen trying to use the blades of a fan to chop lettuce
but if it would have worked, it would have been very productive and resourceful.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)
I like this

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:49, Reply)
chopping lettuce is a rubbish euphemism.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 14:51, Reply)
I was a student ambassador during an open day once
and was watching flash movies on Newgrounds in the IT lab when a disgruntled parent asked if students were allowed to watch this 'filth'.

The video in question was a parody of Will the real Slim Shady please stand up, called with the real mashed tater brains please stand up.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:11, Reply)
Won't somebody think of the CHILDREN?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Sick filth
www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/2406
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:13, Reply)
I wonder what she thought students looked at on their laptops.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I really don't have anything to say here.
But I AM still here.
Thought you should know.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:14, Reply)
You must have a story.
If anyone was ever the product of love between brother and sister, it's you.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:17, Reply)
That's not very nice.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:20, Reply)
I mean it in the nicest possible way.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:21, Reply)
Fair enough.
*cudils*
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:23, Reply)
When's the album out?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:19, Reply)
About a month after the studio is rebuilt.
Probably February.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:20, Reply)
You must be Two hats as you're actually making sense.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:22, Reply)
Nope.
Just looked in the mirror and I'm sexy. I'm definitely baldmonkey.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I went to a school run by monks.
I snuck into one of their houses once, to see what they kept in their rooms.
Got caught.
Didn't find anything.
That's not a very good story.
Sorry.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:25, Reply)
I am surprised you got out with your arse intact.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:27, Reply)
At least you'll have Kleenex spare

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:29, Reply)
Not all of them were paedophiles and buggerists.
A couple of them were okay.
This one was okay.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:29, Reply)
I went to a party while at school
Thrown by a girl I knew fancied me. There was quite a bit of booze which probably explains why I have only the haziest idea how I ended up on her bed with her going at it as only horny 15 year olds can. Also why it took me some time to notice her boyfriend standing at the door glaring at us.

Probably also why, having noticed, I shrugged and carried on.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:26, Reply)
That was YOU??!!
I dumped her not long after that party.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:27, Reply)
so you fucked a 15 year old?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:28, Reply)


(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:28, Reply)
he fucked a 15 year old Rory, and admitted it online, doesn't this site have a panic button?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:29, Reply)
why do I come here

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:31, Reply)
cos no-one else will have you?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:32, Reply)
shutyourface

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:36, Reply)
sorry i didn't mean to bully you rory, sorry rory

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:37, Reply)
I think when he's 15 as well it's like paedo jeopardy

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:32, Reply)
still an offence, usually in this instance the male is put on the register and the female let off
not sure why the double standard there tho
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:33, Reply)
Not true. at least not your second point
There's no law difference for boys or girls. Technically, either could be charged with an offence but under the sexual offences act if it's truly consensual the Crown doesn't prosecute either.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:41, Reply)
DONT POINT THAT OUT WE WANT TO BE INDIGNANT ABOUT A NONCE WHO HAS A TAILOR TAKE HIS OFF THE PEGS SUITS IN!!!!!!

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:42, Reply)
Sorry Al. won't happen again.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:44, Reply)
NO YOUR WRONG HE'S A NONCE AND IS GOING TO JAIL

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:43, Reply)
He might well be.
but not for throwing it up a teenager when he was 15.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:44, Reply)
i disagree

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:45, Reply)
Fuck off dinosaur flid arms man.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:49, Reply)
NO YOU FUCK OFF

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:52, Reply)
Nah, it was for what he got up to with that little girl he found on the street outside BGBs house at her last bash.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:46, Reply)
For $50, this is a popular phrase intended to imply distrust...
*BUZZ*

What is "nonce in a schoolyard"?
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:36, Reply)
Oh Quentin
When I say "going at it", I am of course talking about playing Yahtzee.

With my tongue.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:32, Reply)
actually you said 'on her bed with her gong at it' which implies her penis was fucking you

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:33, Reply)
*whistles innocently*
I'm sure I don't know what you mean.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:40, Reply)
That wasn't her boyfriend, that was her dad.
You sick fuck.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:33, Reply)
he's from norwich, same thing

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:35, Reply)
No further questions your honour

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:33, Reply)
THis was in the vatican right?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 16:06, Reply)
Karma always kicks my ass when I skive
For example, after twisting my ankle at Ballroom class one evening, I decided (somehow) that this was sufficient to spend the next day at home recovering, and texted my boss to this effect. Got the OK and felt quite chipper. Until said fucked ankle caused me to trip up the kerb and smash my face into a wall outside my house. Cue a trip to A&E, a small scar on the bridge of my nose, and the utter destruction of a very expensive pair of glasses. Had to spend the next day hobbling into town to the optician's. Score.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:32, Reply)
What were
you doing outside if you are sick off work with hurty leg?
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:41, Reply)
Hobbling back from Ballroom class
I should have made this clearer - karma fucked my face up literally minutes after getting the text clearing me for an unjustified day off.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:42, Reply)
I see.
It's the lying I hate.

We are quite lucky, I can email in sick from my blackberry. Don't even have to do The Voice.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:44, Reply)
Hope it hasn't got GPS activated mate

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:46, Reply)
I just read an article in The Sun (whilst waiting for the barber to cut my hair)
which said that PEADOPHILES were giving phone messages to CHILDREN who they were GROOMING with the GPS already ACTIVATED so they could TRACK THEM ONLINE.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:48, Reply)
Typical non-sensational journalism, then?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:51, Reply)
I also heard that David Haye was coming out of Retirement to fight Vitali Klitchko.
Which is good news I guess.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:52, Reply)
*Is non-plussed*
Thank you for your lovely card, by the way. It arrived on Tuesday.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:53, Reply)
Oh good, I was worried it had either not turned up
or you were even ruder than me and weren't acknowledging the effort I had gone to to apologise.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:54, Reply)
It's in pride of place on the bookcase.
Plus I've not been on the internet much the last couple of days owing to jobsearch activity stuff, of which I'm hoping something might have come off thanks to a series of small and hopefully fortuitous coincidences.

By come off, I do of course mean that I'm wanking as I type.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Yes, I saw your hopeful sounding status this morning
Hope it works out.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:59, Reply)
Thanks old bean.
The job will be working with a former colleague and mate, doing his job 2 days a week while he's seconded on other duties. I found the ad on the NHS website, he posted something on my FB status, I messaged him, then rang him to check whether it would be worth my applying as it was asking for specific knowledge in transport policy, which I don't have. His response was "bollocks to that, as long as you do a bit of research on the subject".

Also, the missus may have been potentially headhunted by an acquaintance to go work in a school that will actually pay her a commensurate wage for her mad skillz and autism knowledge, so she's just sent her CV through today. So things are looking up a bit. Woo.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 16:03, Reply)
Excellent News!

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)
Indeed.
I'm pleased I remembered to check the NHS site for jobs as I've been meaning to do it for weeks and kept forgetting. I saw the ad and thought "that's xxxx's job, surely", and then he just happened to pop up on line. Then later that night our acquaintance popped up on FB asking the missus to contact him urgently about a potential job. She likes where she is, and it's only a 10 minute journey but the money is dire.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 16:09, Reply)
He's only been retired a few weeks.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:54, Reply)
Yeah, but I did think it was just a publicity stunt
given that Vitali had already pretty much agreed that they could have a match up.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:56, Reply)
There is so much wrong with this post
a) Why were you reading The Sun?
b) Why would you pay someone to advance the course of nature?
c) Your face
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:52, Reply)
Okay
a) because I was bored and it was that or the Daily Mail
b) because I have adopted the close crop to minimise future embaressment
c) that's fucking rich coming from you, don't make me post that picture of you in your "culture slut" T-shirt.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:58, Reply)
*Apologises profusely*
*Send flowers*
*Heads for border*
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:59, Reply)
I find that my mental preperations for doing the voice usually end up making me feel ill
and then it takes me a good while to cheer myself up and realise that I'm not actually ill.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:47, Reply)
Er, yeah
I get that too. Weird.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:51, Reply)
We're like Bummers in Arms

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:51, Reply)
Dire Straits' less successful follow up album, etc.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:53, Reply)
It's all gone VERY twatty on the other thread
I pride myself on being a Grand High Arch Geek, but that's just too far, even for me.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:54, Reply)
There's another thread?

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Not worthy of the name, no
and that's saying a lot
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:59, Reply)
Me three.
But 9am drinking cheers me up in short order.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:53, Reply)
Yeah, that's pretty much my pattern too.
I could really do with getting "ill" tomorrow, actually
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:55, Reply)
You've got to watch the old MFI.

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:56, Reply)
Is this a laboured "closet" reference?
Am not actually going to pull a sicky, too much to do.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Monday Friday Illness.
It's one of those things, you know, if you have Friday you've got to have Monday. Have Monday AND Tuesday, you know, so it doesn't look suspect.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 16:02, Reply)
Ah, I see
Friday is a daft day to have off ill, because if you then get spotted in the city over the weekend by one of your workmates you're open to snide remarks at the very least.

Probably not a concern in London, now that I think about it, but Norwich is fooking tiny
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


*breathes*


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


You sir, are a homosexual.
(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:41, Reply)

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