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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Slept through alarm again! Is this still jet lag or narcolepsy?
Alt: turkey or alternative?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:22, 298 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Laziness probably.
Turkey, done correctly so it remains moist, is pretty good. Although i wouldn't mind a bit of Rudolph either.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Dunno.
alt: yes please
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:28, Reply)
I've never had turkey, like a roast.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:29, Reply)
no your just a fat, lazy useless fuck
i couldn't give a cuntfart, turkeys got buggar all to do with chrimbo anyway
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:30, Reply)
fannyfarts are hugely hilarious and embarrassing at the same time!

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:32, Reply)
oh are they really!
oh my gosh! how preposterously magnificent!

cunt
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)
yes, cunt to you too dear.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)
MERRY CUNTMAS

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)
A few years back, I was with a girl who did a massive one
I cracked up from laughter, she was so embarrassed she cried.

She was an odd girl.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)
if she's queefing that louid your doing it wrong

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I was about to say this.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)
its like we're the same person

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)
OMG I NO RITE?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)
you ever flown a chopper?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)
no. Heights and I do not agree.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:47, Reply)
fuck off then

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:47, Reply)
You made a girl cry?
*Manly handshakes*
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:36, Reply)
She cried at the drop of a hat
No, really. She dropped her hat into a puddle, and cried.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)
it sounds like you go out with some very well rounded individuals
(joke about only dating fat chicks)
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)
She was slim, talented, and very attractive
Sorry to disappoint you. The one I was sleeping with behind her back was a big larger, but a cracking shag.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)
i meant she was mental

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:42, Reply)
"(joke about only dating fat chicks)"
But yes, she was a tad mentally unbalanced.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:42, Reply)
that was where someone was supposed to imply that i was making a fat joke
when i said well rounded i meant crazy
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)
Fair enough

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)
grand
(like your ex girlfriend, as in 'large')
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Nope

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)
cool
(like the smooth, dimple felsh of her massive thighs)
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:47, Reply)
I once fucked a girl with cellulite so bad, a blind man would be able to read it.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)
long time ago tho right?
you seem like the kind of guy whose had to wait a while
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)
First time, yes
We still sleep together quite regularly though, tis alright.

In my experience, the slightly larger girls are better in bed
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:52, Reply)
so you're not good enough to go permo then?
she just likes to use you and leave? what is it about you that she finds so repulsive she can't stick around for long?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:53, Reply)
We went out for a year, things went south, we didn't talk for a while
Now, we sleep together whenever she fancies it, really. At one point, it was twice a week, but now it's not so common.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:56, Reply)
cos your only half a man

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:58, Reply)
You're right, I'm not very tall

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:00, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Ha ha.
This made me laugh.
Then again, living in Macc, I suppose you have a lot of fat totty.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)
Well, I've slept with most of them
The married one was a bit of a tubber, but fucking hell, she was good in bed
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:52, Reply)
this is fucken grim man, i don't wanna know bout your love life

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:54, Reply)
I do.
It's the most important thing in the world to me.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Stop asking then

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:56, Reply)
I DINT FUCKEN ASK

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:57, Reply)
OK, stop prompting me then

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:00, Reply)
i'm not

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1471564
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1471578
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1471597
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:07, Reply)
it was retorical

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Of course it was(!)

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Change your name to,
Ferret up a fat pipe.
Are they really that easy in Macc? I thought Doncaster was bad.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:55, Reply)
They're not that easy, I'm just that damn talented
(i.e Yes)

Also, considering organising a bash for end of January, fancy it?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Too right mate.
I've missed the last two Manc ones. I bet you missed me :)
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Well, we certainly noticed you weren't there!

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:04, Reply)
This made me do a little cry.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Haha

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:08, Reply)
Well they make me laugh.
But I laugh at arse farts too, ok, I've a peurile SOH.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:36, Reply)
You can't spell Turkey without Suet.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)
i misreadt that as writhing
WITH HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES

you edited that to make me look liek a FOOL
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:34, Reply)
ii suddenly realised you COULD spell turkey without writing.
you could spell it out loud
for some reason the bbc4 comedy of the week podcast this week is north by northamptonshire. it is not funny
at all
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)
sad times, could be worse you could be listening to CHRISTIAN OFUCKICKINGCONNEL
and getting gradually closer to skinning whoever is nearest
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:47, Reply)
i'm not sure who that is but i do know the name

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)
If he means Christian O'Connell
he is without doubt the worst person ever to have lived. Pol Pot has nothing on that epic wanker.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:55, Reply)
oh god its so awful, we have to listen to him every morning and for some reason no-one has told him he's painfully unfunny, its worse that chinese water torture

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:57, Reply)
I hope you don't get bullied again today.
You seemed all sad yesterday, like a punched kitten.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)
thats exactly what it was like, i felt hard done by but i'm a otuhg little soldier and i'll get through
don't you worry bout me
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)
I'll try. Stay strong Quentin, stay strong.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)
i didnt think the bullying would be as big a problem over here
i was disappointed
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:47, Reply)
There are some dreadful bullies here.
They seem to pick on one user and all attack them. Like sharks but on the internet.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:49, Reply)
i'm like a shark
i've got to keep moving
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:51, Reply)
to the funky, funky beat

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Like real 2 real's 1994 hit?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:54, Reply)
deadliest predators in the animal kingdom, that

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:51, Reply)
Seasonal Affected Disorder.
Alt, I had one of the four bird things a few years ago, that was excellent. Think it was a woodpigeon, inside a duck, inside a turkey, inside a goose. With various stuffings inbetween. The fucker lasted for ages.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Brandy butter. BRANDY BUTTER.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)
Cointreau butter also good.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:56, Reply)
NO JUST BRANDY.
Cointreau and irn-bru is nice though. That's called an Auld Alliance that.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:58, Reply)
Goose, motherfuckers.
and it's neither, you've got sleepAIDS. You'll be dead in six months.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)
tom cruise's opening line in etc etc

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Goose is excellent.
The best of the birds to eat.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:57, Reply)
It's very nice
but terribly expensive and has such a large cavity that there's not a lot of meat to it.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Large cavity lols.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:14, Reply)
infuriating
ignoring the fail's slant to it, COME ON. do not strike on fucking boxing day, you cunts. retailers are on their knees and people in london want to enjoy their christmas breaks...

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2074032/Boxing-Day-Tube-strike--50k-year-drivers-triple-pay-demands-turned-down.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

/angry of kensington
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:49, Reply)
a) its the mail scaremongering again
b) you could get a bus/taxi/friend to drive you
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Of course it's the Mail scaremongering
That doesn't mean that the threatened strike is in any way reasonable or justified.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:55, Reply)
whats got three thumbs and doesn't give a fuck?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:56, Reply)
I dunno.
Bob Crow?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:57, Reply)
i heard in the nineties he was into hard house
and loved a bit of Raven
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:59, Reply)
actually
i'll be in barbados on boxing day.

it's the principle of it. retailers are desperate for boxing day sales. the high street is disappearing down the plughole.

and these cunts want to cost them a further fortune in missed revenue?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:00, Reply)
nope they want triple pay for working boxing day, i don't think thats unreasonable
when i was a kid i'd get 2x salary for xmas eve, 4x for xmas day and boxing day
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:03, Reply)
A christmas BJ is a costly one

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:07, Reply)
fuck off it isn't
they're lucky to have jobs in the current climate. and they didn't get triple pay last year.

irresponsible morons. the people they are punishing are the poor sods whose ticket prices will soar to pay for their triple time. they already get paid too much for pulling a few levers and making a few announcements about being stuck on the platform to regulate gaps in the service.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:09, Reply)
you seem very upset and overly reactionary
i guarantee you there will be no strike, its just bluster and balderdash, they'll work they'll get higher pay than usual, end of
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:11, Reply)
yeah great
and then what happens to tube fares next year?

holding the city to ransom to squeeze more money out of the overburdened workers who have to use the shitty service is disgusting.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)
i'm pretty sure the drivers aren't the highhest earners at transport for london

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)
out of interest, if you HAD to work boxing day
how muich would you expect to get paid?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)
no more than i already get paid
it's quite clear in my contract: standard hours 9.30-5.30 or such hours and such times at such a location as the firm might require.

that's what i signed up to. i don't go around trying to hold my boss over a barrel for a better deal.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)
you would if it meant taking you away from your family at all hours and during holidays

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:19, Reply)
so don't be a tube driver then
go and work as something else.

oh, what? there is nothing else that pays £45,000 a year and gives you about 35 days paid leave for having zero qualifications?

funny, that.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Yeah, cause lawyers earn a fair wage.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)
so do tube drivers
if these clowns were nurses or teachers, who do a brilliant job for fuck-all compared to the value of what they do, i'd have much much more sympathy.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Except they perform what you see as a vital service.
They do more than pull a few levers as well, that was very patronising of you.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)
really?
how come the DLR, which has no drivers, has one of the best records on the transport system then?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I have no idea what a DLR is, I assume it's a London thing.
Frankly I don't think you can float about calling someone shite when you have no idea what they do.
Have you driven many trains in your time?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:19, Reply)
only one
but it's not exactly rocket science. most people could train to do that job.

i think £45k pa plus the amount of holidays they get is a pretty sweet deal compared to what a lot of people in the public and private sectors earn.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)
No not anyone actually.
And again, you view them as a vital part of the infrastructure hence why your knickers are in a twist about them being on strike. If it would be such a blow to the economy that's why they get paid so much.
Also due to the hours they work and that the London underground has so many suicides on it. Can't imagine that's fun for the drivers.

Fuck me, you are very patronising.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:24, Reply)
if you are seriously defending them
choosing to fuck up boxing day for hundreds of thousands of people who want to enjoy their rare days off in london and costing the economy a fortune into the bargain, then you deserve to be patronised. dear.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Not me, the tube drivers.
There won't be a stike you dizzy bint, it's part of the negotiations.
Honestly, for a lawyer you are fucking thick. Article in the Daily Mail and you start foaming at the mouth.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:31, Reply)
how many tube strikes have you WORKED through?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:34, Reply)
In Glasgow, quite a few.
I get the bus. I couldn't give a fuck.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:35, Reply)
+ about anyone else

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Hi Rach, I won't be here on boxing day, but i do hate tube drivers with a passion
just sayin liek
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)
this is sad pandering

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:49, Reply)
Nope, just don't get upset at non stories in the Daily Mail.
Or think I'm better than someone cause they're a tube driver.
They earn decent money and ain't had to go to uni, plus have a good union that negotiates well for them. Yup swipey, they're real idiots eh.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:42, Reply)
how many points can you deliberately miss?
if there had never been a tubestrike, there would be no upset. the fact is, they do it too often. and make millions of people miserable.

the article is not just in the fail. it's not liz jones ranting about eggs. it's actual news. this just happened to be the link my colleague forwarded, so i had it to hand.

i do not think i am "better than someone cause they're a tube driver". however, i do think that failing to appreciate the fact that you have a fucking cushy job in the current economic climate and treating your clients with enormous disrespect and making their lives a misery means that you might want to count your blessings and think about your work ethic, yeah.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)
And you're helping the retailers by being in Barbados?
Worse than Hitler you, worse than Hitler.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:04, Reply)
i am helping virgin
with whom we are flying. and thomas cook, who booked it. and you can bet your sweet ass i'll be hitting duty free like a bitch. on top of all the christmas shopping i am - er - yet to do.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Right, so not the high street retailers. On boxing day. That you're upset about.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:14, Reply)
pfffft
don't make facile points. spendthrift that i am, i think they'd be much more bothered about the hundreds of thousands of boxing day sales shoppers, somehow.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Just seems like you can get all rageful about something that's not even going to effect you.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)
sigh
1 - this particular strike will not affect me on a purely personal level, but other strikes have, do, and will. they keep doing it, they call strikes all the time, and it is making their arguments lose all credibility.

2 - i act for a huge number of struggling retailers. they are dependent on boxing day sales if they are to pay the december quarter rent.

3 - i act for a huge number of landlords. if their tenants don't pay the december quarter rent, they default on their loans.

etc etc etc.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:19, Reply)
And you think a ficticious strike is going to change the economic conditions that much?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)
if you've never tried to work in london during a strike
you don't really understand what it does to literally millions of people. who have nothing to do with it, except pay to use the tube every day. it's just not a decent way to go about negotiating.

particularly given the amount of times they do it. you can't tell me that there is no deliberate malice in the choice of day.

yes, if they go ahead, it will cost the economy a fortune.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Right. Not much up on industrial relations then swipey.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:26, Reply)
you get off your ivory tower and move to london
you work your arse off

you find that you can't get to/from work or get to client meetings or hospital or whatever it is you need to do

you find you can't go out that night or people can't come to your party or your wedding

you spend a fortune on taxis or you queue for hours and hours for buses

and then 3 weeks later they do it all again

THEN i might listen to your opinion on people who think it's ok to strike and put literally millions of other people through all that
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:30, Reply)
HAHAHA!! Yeah, I'll get off my ivory tower in Glasgow and move to rural London.
Fuck off you tedious shit, you'll be in Barbados anyway.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:33, Reply)
ah, a lovely personal insult to end it with?
marvellous work.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:36, Reply)
No problem, you earned it.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)
*takes a deep breath*
fucking hell, I almost 100% agree with you on this

*feels slightly dirty, and not in any good dirty way*
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:55, Reply)
i thought we'd agreed recently that we do agree on some things after all
*hurt face*
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:58, Reply)
We do
but I have to maintain the image for Al's sake.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:59, Reply)
he's not even here
murp
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Oh I'm sure he is, taking notes.
and wanking.

Mostly wanking.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
gee, that's a delightful image
/bowks
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Good god!
There will be pedestrians spilling onto the roads! I better go cycling that day to make sure they all stay on the pavements as I lout up Central London in my high-vis lycra.

/s
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:00, Reply)
high-vis lycra?
does it have a free slit in the arse?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Xmas drinkie?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:02, Reply)
As a lawyer, how much would you charge to work Boxing Day?
*Devil's Advocate*
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Fuck all extra you div

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)
You seem to confuse being a lawyer and working in Jennys cafeteria

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:07, Reply)
hey, where did my answer go?!
the answer is, as a lawyer, if i had to work boxing day - which i have done in the past, yes, and new years day too - i wouldn't get an extra penny for it!
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:08, Reply)
I'm back who missed me?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:51, Reply)
yeah, me

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Hurrah, you're not as bad as people say.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:54, Reply)
thx bbz

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:55, Reply)
I did.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:57, Reply)
*Smug look*

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Morning Chompy

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:00, Reply)
where did you go?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:01, Reply)
/Cottoneyejoelolz

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:01, Reply)
I had to google that.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:04, Reply)
greatest hit of 1995

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)
I was 3.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)
i bet you were much less anoying back them

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
oh, the irony

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:11, Reply)
I'm confused as to where this venom is coming from.
Did I somehow offend you?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Has your mum died?
That'll get him riled that will
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)
No, no dead mothers.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)
it was the exclamation mark in your first reply to me
put shit right up my funnel that did
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Man up mate.
It's an exclamation mark. Not like I flipped you the bird or anything.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)
as far as i'm concerned you shat on my doorstep, poked mye in the eye and told me santa doesn't exist

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:34, Reply)
I've heard of Beethoven's 5th
and I'm not 300 years old. Cotton Eye Joe is easily on a musical par with Beethoven's V.

I JUST LOOK IT!!!!zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Well I wasn't going to go there sweetie.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)

1995 ALL TIME
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:08, Reply)
First single I ever bought...

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
ha hahahaha

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:14, Reply)
what was yours then?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)
The beach by All Saints.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I liked the blond one taht was fit

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)
I went up to leeds for work and a christmas do, it was drunken.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Drunken is fuuuuun.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Not the next day when you have to sit next to your boss and fall asleep
droop your head and wake up when you smack your face on the keyboard.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Haha!
What did your face type?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
li gkuhfr,knmvcx

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Cheeky

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)
oh I totally am today.
;)
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:14, Reply)
*waves*

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Something witty

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)
this is witty

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)
and charming too.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I did
Your posts of recent times have been most mirthsome
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
I've been 'off my food' for a few weeks now.
I've never been 'off my food' before in my life.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? I do hope it's not that fucking AIDS back again.

Alt: Best Xmas dinner I ever had was BEEF.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Old people go off their food don't they.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:07, Reply)
shortly before they die :'(

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:08, Reply)
You tell us

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
It means you're a fucking queer.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:08, Reply)

a er ntin
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Oh, you again.
Lollity lol lol.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)
This is confusing me

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Me too,
I thought 'I'm sure I didn't post this'
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Get better food.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:09, Reply)
its just the SADs someone else mentioned up there^
it'll get better
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:09, Reply)
in June

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)
nah, he'll adjust to the lack of light and the cold and he'll man up and start eating fattier foods to compensate
i AM a doctor, you know
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:14, Reply)
I do wonder if I have a mild form of that.
Do those sunlight replacement lamps actually work, do you know?

I am making an effort to not goad you today.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)
never had one, ex emp[loyees swore by them but they only work if you stare right at them
or you expose the back of your knees, apparently
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Harlots!

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Yes they do
One of the girls on our support desk has one and swears by it helping. Could be a bit of a placebo though
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)
i just go out for a walk in the sun every day, does same thing

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I live in the North

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Validation that the North is shit, from a northern

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Just cold, not shit

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:23, Reply)
It's quite sunny out today.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Its a cracking day out today actually
Not helped by me popping to the market this morning to buy soup ingredients and only being able to find one glove.

Michael fucking Jackson impersonator in our house, it would seem
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:30, Reply)
You dirty nonce.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:38, Reply)
You make soup out of gloves?
Fucking hard times mate, hard times.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)
We have one at home for the wife
it mainly made me miserable due to it's extortionate cost
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Haha

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I hate the fact that they call them SADs, it's the most pathetic name for Seasonal Affected Depression.
It's like saying "Awww, moi pour baybi, r u sad dat da sun iz gon?"
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)
All your massive drugs have finally killed the tapeworms you were riddled with.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)
YESSSSSSS

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Ribena, black coffee and a sausage sandwich is keeping my head above water this morning
Alt: Turkey at christmas goose at Easter
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Sausage sandwich for you, pearl necklace for her.
T'is the season for exchanging presents.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)

presents fluids
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:14, Reply)
*Spluffs into Jiffy bag*
*Writes 'Mr Sportscow off the Internet, Sunderland, Englandshire' on envelope, in crayon'*

*Decides not to lick the flap*
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:20, Reply)
You not a flap licker then?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Not when it's covered in my gentleman's gel, no.
Soz.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Sleep apnoea
Turkey is of poor quality and bloody expensive for what it is. Bloody traditions.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)
My Dad has this
He was so proud to be diagnosed with "heroic snoring"
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Yep, me too.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Hello "kid Presentable"
Tell me three things about you please
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:14, Reply)
He's good, I reckon.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Cheers Monty

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Don't listen to him, he's the worst one here

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:19, Reply)
...says the worst one here.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:35, Reply)
I'd like to know why he's into kids

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Well we'd ALL like to know that

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Three? That seems like a lot
I'm married with children
I like playing guitar
I'm not terribly keen on Christmas
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Hang on
That makes you me (apart from the "into kids")
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I'm very much not into kids
I thought I liked children, right up until the point that I had my own.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Hahaha!

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I get this but I've trained myself to sleep on my side or front so it doesn't happen because it is well fucking scary and you wake up paralysed and breathless

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Yeah, I bet
My missus has told me that she reckons I get it from time to time. Would I know if I had it?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
dunno. I do
It starts with a nightmare for me
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:23, Reply)
lolfatty

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:24, Reply)
HA I AM AS WELL!

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)
If you wake up regularly feeling as if you've had a shit night's sleep, then yes.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)
they should try not being hideous fatties

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:28, Reply)
NEVER

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:30, Reply)
I don't think I've had a good night's sleep in years
Maybe I'll look into it. Cheers.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:29, Reply)
My missus pointed out to me
that I regularly stopped breathing through the night. I had some tests done and on average this was happening about 30 - 40 times an hour, making my case a chronic one.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Alt: Nut roast most likely
How are we all this morning? Is Chompy about? I have a news related question.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Nut roast just sounds fucking grim

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)
It's quite nice actually.
I wasn't expecting to like it, but I rather do. Matter of taste mind, each to their own.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:30, Reply)
It's a bi-product of sitting too close to the fire

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I'm here!

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)
hullo.
The question was: Can you explain to a layman what the practical upshot was of the treaty Cameron refused to sign. all the news is on about his decision, but I seem to have missed the bit where they explain what the treaty was/meant.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:49, Reply)
Alt: My mum makes beef made of fluffy dry suede and acceptable chicken.
Her vegetables are liquified.
Her roast spuds and the gravy my dad makes are second to none though, so I forgive her and I love Christmas dinner.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGHGOLD
b qu
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)
vegetaqles?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)
QUEEF

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
it would be qeef though, not queef

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
I'MSTILLLOLLING

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Suede?
Fuck that's grim.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Cold dry fluffy suede

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Swede surely?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:32, Reply)
No. That's a vegetable.
I'm on about the meat being so boiled to death that it resembles a piece of suede.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:34, Reply)
Oh dear...that is grim

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:35, Reply)
scouser innit

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:36, Reply)
why do people do this? Surely it's less effort to cook it less>?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:36, Reply)
She just dumps it in boiling water with a bit of seasoning then leaves it in the oven for a year or so.
She has the audacity to call it 'roast' beef.
She makes nice roast lamb/pork/chicken but for some reason she does this terrible thing to beef. It's her favourite meat too.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)
How can you possibly make an arse of roast beef?
Stick it in the oven for an hour or two, job's a good 'un.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:57, Reply)
She likes it boiled or braised or whatever the fuck you call it
She actually likes it that way so we have to lump it
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)
I think cooking has moved on a wee bit
My mum used to murder mince and tatties. I despised it. She stuck the mince in the oven for about a week and a half. It was horrific.

The 1st time my (now ex-) wife told me she was making it I nearly vommed. It was actually fantastic. It had flavours and all kinds of things that I wasn't used to.

My mum used to boil the fuck out of vegetables. Now I steam them. What a fucking difference.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)
Our stories are similar.
I even bought them a steamer for an anniversary once. For a few weeks we had lovely veg and then she worked out how to murder them in a steamer too.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)
this sounds delightful
Why you stick with the local tradition and get yourself down to "Chicken cottage"?
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Is that one of those rip-off KFCs or is it a chicken carvery?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Rip off KFC, like "Texa Chicken" or "Chick o Ribs"

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Krunchy Fried Chicken

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Oh i just remembered I saw a Chicken Cottage somewhere and took a photo because it sounds like a gay knocking shop

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)
One of them in Southport

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Unlucky Fried Kitten

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Nom nom nom

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Bet you go for a munchy box for lunch now

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Never had one
And I've not had the local equivalent in ages, as it's been closed for months.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:33, Reply)
needed your business to keep them afloat eh?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:34, Reply)
No, it burned down

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)
There's a PFC in Reading
They had an indian version of the colonel sanders as a logo until they got told to take it down.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)
did they simply draw a bindi on him?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Just coloured him brown I think.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:27, Reply)
It was animated so his head wobbled from side to side.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:31, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:32, Reply)
I'm ashamed to say that I lolled at this.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:32, Reply)
You disgusting racist.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)
I'm not quite sure what you said there
as I'm having trouble in seeing out of the eyeholes cut into the pillowcase I am wearing over my head.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)
FCKF is best
'Fried Chicken, Kebabs and Fish'
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Also, when you say it as a word, it sounds like you're saying 'Fuck off'

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:29, Reply)
swearing is fun

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:30, Reply)
i wish rachelswipe would stop arguing with people, i don't like it

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:34, Reply)
yes you do

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:36, Reply)
i don't man, i feel bad for her, shes not coming over well at all anymore

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)
probably dehydrated

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)
i hope this will help

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Bell end.

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:46, Reply)
DOIN'T YOU START

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)
I need more sleep, somwhere in the region of 12 hours will do it
Also I'd forgotten how minging you feel after smoking when pissed
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:35, Reply)
What you need
is a punch in the fucking cock.
(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Who doesn't?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:54, Reply)
My mum?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)
coming from mister seasonal affective disorder 'oh wah wah waaah i haven't slept in years' that dosen't mean much

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:55, Reply)

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