Childish Slang
Guff. Having it Off. Getting off. Duffing someone up.

What slang terms from your childhood do you want to bring back?

Also, hello you Bum Gardeners. What's happening?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:38, 172 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Dinnilo.
To say someone was stupid or mad. "What a dinnilo!"
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:41, Reply)

DEVIL!!
How long until your two good new things?

Also 'necking'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Well:
I start my new good thing on 6th Feb, and the house will be, with any luck, 27th Jan!

How's you lady?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:52, Reply)

YERSE!
I'm sound luv.
You know sometimes, recently, when Abi Titmuss is on the telly and she's being all sweet and not a trollop, she reminds me of Flim-Flam.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Really?
I don't see that myself. But then, I think both of them are tasty.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

I'd never seen it until recently.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:58, Reply)

I may have to start seeing it.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:01, Reply)

Please don't do a John Leslie
I prefer her face unbruised.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:04, Reply)

*spits water over keyboard*
I would never do such a thing!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Then why don't we see her round here anymore eh?
Has she "walked into a door" and is embarrassed to come out?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:06, Reply)

It hurts to admit this, but...
She beats me. She beats me til I'm black and blue. Her preferred method is a few billiard balls in a sock but, truth be told, if she can make a weapon out of it, she will. There's only so many times I can explain my bruises and cuts away. Last week, she hit me with a large cactus.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:13, Reply)

I knew she couldn't be trusted, it's her eyes, they're too close together.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:17, Reply)

Ssh, she'll hear you.
And I'll pay for it.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:19, Reply)

Dicksplash

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:41, Reply)

A classic.
Interchangeable with shitsplash.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Both 'pants' and 'crackers' are used frequently by myself at the moment.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Where's my credit for giving you "Duffing up" earlier on facebook?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:43, Reply)

Shurrup, Needy Gonzales

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:43, Reply)

Oh man, coming from you that's really harsh.
Has your man got himself a job yet?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:46, Reply)

he hasn't started looking yet.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Fucking lazy bum!
How is he surviving for this long, is he properly minted?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:50, Reply)

Well he fucking was.
He's spent the last six months living off it, so i doubt there's much left for ermine for me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)

Cheeky bastard.
Did he get you a nice christmas present?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

He did actually. Really boss.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:58, Reply)

What was it?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:02, Reply)

I don't think a 'pearl necklace' can be classed as a boss Christmas present.
Then again, I'm not from Liverpool.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Close!
It was some earings that are amethyst studs with pearl drops.
This was very clever because my engagement ring is platinum and amethyst, and I have these amazing valuable pearls that belonged to a lovely old lady from Kent. He got me the ear-rings so that I can wear the two things together and the don't look mis-matched.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:15, Reply)

I was going to make a joke about theft
But that's actually a very nice, thoughtful present.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:19, Reply)

That's a bit gay for a bloke present.
I'd have got you a frying pan and some knickers.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:20, Reply)

I got knickers for my birthday
and a frying pan in the summer.
trufax
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:23, Reply)

A man of impeccable taste.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:25, Reply)

Oh, sorry.
SORRY EVERYONE. Al reminded me of duffing up some time ago. Please give him lots of credit and a wee squeeze on the scrotum.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Thank you.
I may now invite you round for dinner and to drink some of our wine.

How are you set in the next 2-3 weeks?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:54, Reply)

I dunno mate, you may have to check with the Mrs.
I think, in truth, we're quite busy what with the house and everything...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:56, Reply)

FINE!!!!! WHATEVER!!!!!!!
I didn't want to see you anyway.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:58, Reply)

Now, now, young lady, don't be undignified.
Just as soon as I have my own home, and don't worry about rolling in to other people's houses at all hours of the night, and am not living out of a suitcase, I will come over with my hawt wife. OK?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:01, Reply)

Okay. But make sure the hot wife comes.
I'm less concerned about you.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:02, Reply)

*newtons cradles*

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Speaking as someone who spends all day calling people spastics, benders and Deacons,
I'd say I'm already doing more than my fair share of bringing such things back.

Personally I think more people should say 'Ooh! Ooh! Mr Peavley!' like in the Hair Bear Bunch, but no-one seems to want to join me on this particular bandwagon.

I'm good. How're you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:43, Reply)

I am a great advocate of 'Ooh! Ooh! Mr Peavley!'
No bastard gets it!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:45, Reply)

I'll stick to my 'Mr Dalliard' if you don't mind

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:48, Reply)

He is not just your Mr Dalliard.
He is EVERBODY'S Mr Dalliard.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:59, Reply)

I can forgive Stephen Fry an awful lot
thanks to that show.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:01, Reply)

I'm good, thank you.
I have got a new job to start, I have a house coming sometime, and yes. 2012 has started well.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:54, Reply)

"Wick"
meaning stupid or crap, e.g. "this thread is wick".

Woecious. Woeful and atrocious at the same time *gasp*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:44, Reply)

we used to say "minglising" if we were heading off around the bar on the pull
also "bop and cop" or "b & c" for short before a night out down some sleazy-ass nightclub in manchester. or worse. STOCKPORT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Ever go to the Pineapple in Hazel Grove? Truly awful.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:56, Reply)

Also calling someone a tube.
"that's wick, you tube".
This has been ruined- RUINED - by the advent of YouTube.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:46, Reply)

"topping" someone
as in second base, not as in killing them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:44, Reply)

old School (ish)
wankstain
Jimmy Hill/ chinny reckon
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:45, Reply)

pimp
meaning 'to fart'
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:47, Reply)

you mean pump?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:49, Reply)

prump

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:50, Reply)

it's pleasingly onomatopaeic

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:50, Reply)

prumpapumpum?
On my drum?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:50, Reply)

quite why that has put "what what in da butt" in my head i don't know
but i wish it hadn't, damn you.

you wanna do it in my butt?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

I'm betrothed to another.
At gunpoint I'd touch a fangita, but that's about it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:56, Reply)

What? I thought you used to be a Lez-Be-Gon?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:00, Reply)

used to.
I was young and scared of boys.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:16, Reply)

If you want, I'll give you power
but please be gentle, I'm delicate like a flower.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:59, Reply)

*waves hand*
Excuse you.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:51, Reply)

nope in my family pimp meant a small, light fart

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)

yeah but "sister" also meant "fuck me" in your family lexicon

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:54, Reply)

i'm glad your not my sister

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:58, Reply)

oh, a squeaker

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

excuse me, i've just pimped
simpler times the 70s, simpler times
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:01, Reply)

african booty licker used to be a big one back in the day

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Over here it was 'African Bum Cleaner'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Brill
Was said to be an African bum disease, as well I seem to remember.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:51, Reply)

In Geneva airport
I noticed that they had special toilet seat sanitiser spray in the cubicles. Does anyone really still think you can catch AIDS off toilet seats anymore?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)

I bet the president of South Africa does.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

loads of people here do, they cover the seats with toilet paper
it's ridic
I know a girl that won't wash her hands in a public restroom because it grosses her out.
how weird is that.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:00, Reply)

weird American
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:14, Reply)

TELLIBLE LACIST!

( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:17, Reply)

It's not racism.
Americans aren't real people, everyone knows that. It's just one massive Disney film.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:22, Reply)

OH OH OH CAN I BE AURORA?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:28, Reply)

it's gross

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:18, Reply)

No you're thinking of 'skill'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

Correct.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:58, Reply)

Can you stop encouraging bullys on my facebook page.
I'm very sensitive.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Ignore the nasty bullies.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:14, Reply)

next you'll accuse me of being racist

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:15, Reply)

I'm white and I consider this a race hate crime against me, I do hope the police are investigating.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:18, Reply)

i want to comment on one of your photos but i'm not sure how you're going to react

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Probably accuse you of racism to be honest.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Spanner
I lived in Kent and we used to call people without pubic hair a "mallet". Not sure why.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:48, Reply)

That's one I am also aware of.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:12, Reply)

I can't remember any that haven't been mentioned.
I'm sorry for this poor thread performance.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Shitcunt.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:52, Reply)

I've let you down stunned, I'm sorry.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)

You've let the OLDSCHOOL down.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

You've let me down, chompo.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)

I'm sorry dude :'(

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)

Don't worry.
It happens to everyone.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:56, Reply)

It's not you, it's me.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:57, Reply)

I'm under a lot of pressure at work.
This has never happened to me before.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:05, Reply)

I think it's the medication I'm on.
ummm, look I'll just go!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:08, Reply)

I really don't.
It makes me cringe when adults use childish words. If you've had a shit, please just say you've had a shit, don't say you've been for a poo, or a number two or anything. If you've farted, you've farted, not guffed or blown off or popped.

And, please, ladies, if you ever call it a 'mimsy' I may well vomit.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)

Call it what it is, a flange!
We don't want to make love to your mimsy, we want you to ride the pig skin bus to tuna town.

Unambiguous, that's how we like it!!!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:57, Reply)

But what if you're in polite company, but still wish to announce an impending defecation?
You can't say to the Queen that you're off for a poo. I suppose you'd have to opt for "do excuse me, ma'am, I'm orf for a dump."
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:57, Reply)

"Pardon me, Ma'am, but would you mind waiting a while as I seem to need to take a shit" is fine, according to Debrett's.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:00, Reply)

In polite company, you don't keep everyone apprised of your bowel movements.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:01, Reply)

Tell her that.
She's always banging on about her Anus Horribilus.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Don't you try telling me I'm not bang up to date with my references.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:03, Reply)

20 yeras old that.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:05, Reply)

Is it really? Blimey, how time flies when you're a raging drunk.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:07, Reply)

1992, mate. Made me feel my age!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:07, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:08, Reply)

'I'm off to strangle a darkie, your maj, back in a mo'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:02, Reply)

I've gotta go an' lay some cable. Do us a tea, good girl.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Careful, Prince Philip will ask to join you.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:06, Reply)

The worst is "I'm going to the little boys room"
sounds noncey to me.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:00, Reply)

My ex Boss used to say that.
So I wouldn't be surprised if you were right.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:00, Reply)

it's a hoo.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:06, Reply)

A girl mate once referred to it as her 'moo moo'.
Honestly made me feel ill.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:18, Reply)

I graduated to adult swearwords at a very early age.
My father would work from home on Fridays and would often collect me from school before then going to the copy shop for him to photocopy and post his memos. (This was 1978 so a long time before email).

Being 5 years old I hated hanging around the copy shop - boring.

Apparently one Friday my dad collected me from school and told me we were going to the shop. My reply: "Oh for fucks sake dad do we have to".
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Tourettelols
I'm terrified my kids will come out with a swear word and I'll just laugh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:05, Reply)

When little tangle was about 2
I was driving him somewhere and hit an unexpected wall of traffic. From the back of the car a little voice piped up "say 'fucking'"
I was most ashamed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:19, Reply)

"Don't be a twat give me my iPad"
Was what my eight year old cousin said to me on Christmas day. We all laughed and then I got the blame.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:20, Reply)

That's skill

( Kroney, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Fanny.
A word what I still use. "Stop fannying about" or "I don't want to fanny around doing that" or "show us yer fanny".
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:59, Reply)

yes, yes, no.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:01, Reply)

I was in Tenerife when I was very much younger
and the northern DJ shouted at this girl who was wearing a very short skirt, "Show us yer monkeh".

Class!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:03, Reply)

Shan
"That's fucking shan, that is"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:04, Reply)

I'M SORRY, I DON'T SPEAK GEORDIE OR MACKEM. YOU WILL HAVE TO TRY AND SPEAK ENGLISH!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Ahl focken knack yee, ya cont

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:42, Reply)

TWO SUGARS, MY MAN.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:46, Reply)

This may have been just in my school...
But for some reason if you were really thick you were called "Shinner".
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:07, Reply)

In mine you were called Barry.
Because of Barry. Who was thick. Apparently. No one had met Barry, he'd left years before.

I actually reckon that's quite an achievement, to be so monumentally stupid that you become an urban legend because of it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Ace
I think most of the 'backronysms' have been covered, apart from this one for A Crappy Effort.

Also, someone mentioned chinny reckon, which evolved into chinder (emphasis on 2nd syllable) at my school.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:15, Reply)

Jimmy
HIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLL!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:18, Reply)

We also used to unintelligibly mutter "oh, yes" whilst doing the hand chin action.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:18, Reply)

Bonus points
For how long you could be nodding and chin-stroking before the other person noticed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Hahahaha!
If it was an all out assault people you weren't even looking at were doing it behind your back.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:23, Reply)

Oh man this takes me back.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:27, Reply)

The shame felt on realising
Might have prompted someone to lick their finger then mime touching your face with an accompanying hiss sound to demonstrate how hot your red face was.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:29, Reply)

Hahahaha fuck me this is memory magic for me

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:42, Reply)

'begin again'
from Michael Finnigen.

Which is really fucking lame, with hindsight.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Oi Tightly, did you see the news about Henry coming back on loan?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:25, Reply)

I did, but I am in two minds about it.
1) A great guy, a fantastic person to have around the team, and at 34 he can still play a bit and will likely be better cover than Chamakh (whose days must be numbered) and Park (who's only played a few minutes of Carling Cup football, I don't think he's up to the prem yet) - and hey, it's TH14. Or 12 as it is now.

2) RvP won't make the whole season at this rate, he desperately *needs* a full-term backup. Walcott's not up to it, Gervinho couldn't hit a barn door (but has a good rate of assists and has great pace)... I'd like to see a 'proper' signing.

So, great to have him back (and I suspect he'll take over from Pat Rice in the next couple of years), but I'd like a new signing too.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:36, Reply)

I hear Pat Jennings has been signed as cover for the keeper.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Fuck off, Bob Wilson's the man we want!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:42, Reply)

*something about Stanley Matthews*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:43, Reply)

It's Mr Football.
We're talking about your team here. You knew that though didn't you, you sly old Gooner?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:45, Reply)

HELL YEAH.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:48, Reply)

I met him at a book signing.
(I went to get his book signed for my Dad's birthday present, I wouldn't have met a dirt Gooner otherwise).

I probably shouldn't tell you how funny it was when he dropped the pen.

Because, sadly, he didn't.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:53, Reply)

It's the HANDSOME and RUGGED Devil_in_Tights!
I have to say, the past two weeks I've been feeling considerably better in general. This is fabulous news and I'd thought I'd use this excellent thread to let you all know.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:47, Reply)

You're pissed aren't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:50, Reply)

If he is he's being very preceptive.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Is that where you're perceptive, but in advance?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:54, Reply)

My perception doesn't do that preceptive thing.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:01, Reply)

I wonder if Captain James T Kroney has topped himself yet

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:17, Reply)

We can only hope Monty.
Monty, as a man who is well into film, what snacks would you recommend that I purchase for my good lady wife at the "pictures" tonight to ensure that I get some later?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:18, Reply)

Scampi and Lemon Nik-Naks
They smell like a bag-lady's minge - drives 'em wild.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:25, Reply)

Eat anything that makes a noise and I'll smack you up the side of the head you fucker.
Well, I'll curtly ask you to refrain at any rate.

At least, I'll tut audibly and look in your direction.

OK, I'll seethe silently and curse you without you ever knowing I exist.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Are you saying that you're Mrs Al?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:35, Reply)

In my dreams, Monty, in my dreams
but he keeps me as his dirty little secret.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:35, Reply)

Fuck you, Alan.
I'm all alone in the world. With only my dressing gown and ticket stubs for comicon for company.

Whyyyyy
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:34, Reply)

Some people are destined to be in happy and stable relationships
others will forever be alone, unloved, unloveable, yet always pondering how best to execute a warp core ejection in the event of a dilithium crystal meltdown
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:43, Reply)

I'm loving the star trek insults today

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 18:04, Reply)

If only your replica 'sonic screwdriver' could mend a broken heart.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:52, Reply)

No booze in almost three weeks.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:34, Reply)

BOO!! BOO!!!!
There you go Noel. Have some boos.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:49, Reply)

Oh the two newslettered answers to last weeks question are from /talkers
There'll be an uproar.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 16:50, Reply)

FUCK YEAH, I HAVE INTERNET IN MY NEW FLAT NOW, PROPER INTERNET THAT IS MINE ! YEAH YEAH YEAH FUCK YEAH.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:19, Reply)

No need for the jazz-mags now, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:26, Reply)

who needs jazz mags when theres hollyoaks?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:27, Reply)

Non-paedos?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:31, Reply)

Yeah', exactly, it's well worth waiting that 24 hours for £5.99 (or 3 for £13.99).

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:39, Reply)

Yeah', you can totally tell I'm circamsised.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:52, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 17:56, Reply)

Beard!
It's bobby, this login is on my phone and I don't know my password for main account.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 18:01, Reply)