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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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So. Work?
So do you have a job or a vocation? Are nurses sexy?

Should tube drivers earn £66k a year?

My bum's warm.

Stop staring at my crotch!!
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:28, 211 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
You've totally threadstomped Quinten.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I have him on ignore so did not know this.
Never mind.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I figured.
*stops staring at Stunned's crotch*
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:32, Reply)
*blushes*

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:33, Reply)
Nurses can be very sexy. The one I went out with for 4 years certainly was.
Then I found her in bed with a french bloke. Bad enough she was cheating on me but the fact it was with someone French made it even worse.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Nurses are filthy. Truefact!
I've known a few, not in the biblical sense though.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:36, Reply)
I am so sorry.
French bastard. Did he look like Renee out of Allo Allo?
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:39, Reply)
Or Renee out of Renee and Renato?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Save your love, my darling. Save your love.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Shame she couldn't 'save her love' til Battered got home, eh?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
ha ha

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Nah. More like this.


not really. He was a good looking cunt. The cunt.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
That looks like Darth.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Worryingly so.
His raised eyebrow makes me worry about the fate of those baguettes...
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:46, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Did you catch him sticking his massive French penis inside your bird?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Not exactly.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Not exactly?
WTF does that mean?
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:49, Reply)
No
He caught his bird sticking her penis in the frenchman
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:51, Reply)
They were "post coital"

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Needs MOAR onion

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:48, Reply)
I have AIDS, if that counts?
I went out with a nurse as a teenager. She once picked me up after she'd finished work, in her 'sexy' nurse outfit, covered in - and stinking of - old man's shit. PHWOARRRRR.

Should they bollocks.

You have crapped yourself. Again.

I can't help it. I've never seen poo/spunk stains like those before. They are almost hypnotic.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:35, Reply)
I went out with a trainee doctor who was half french
She left scars
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Physical or mental?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:37, Reply)
internal

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Physical
Right down my back
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:38, Reply)
No, silly,
she left a box of Henri Wintermans on the night stand.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Like it.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:39, Reply)
SHE CERTAINLY FUCKING DID, THE DIRTY FRENCH COW.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
DID SHE LIKE SQUEEZE, THE DIRTY FRENCH COW?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
FUCK YEAH.
SHE THOUGHT THEY WERE 'GREAT'.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:44, Reply)
She liked it up the junction!

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:44, Reply)
THIS^

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:51, Reply)
I'm in an office with about 40 nurses at the moment no.
My vocation is to mine landfills, probably using robots with some sort of swarm based intelligence.

Yes, they should get whatever they can.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Mine landfills?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:38, Reply)
No they're his
or something
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:39, Reply)
urban mining
Chompy has taken a Quintin-esq obsession with it
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:39, Reply)
This time next year NA

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:40, Reply)
I'm 100% with you on this.
It really is the future.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Was that you I heard going through my bins last night?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Yes. Soz.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:45, Reply)
They're doing it already in some places
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ICVoyT5uy0
I just see that as a whole bunch of money.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:44, Reply)
what? what am i obsessed with?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Yep, for the scrap metals, and maybe the plastics.
Then burn any of the organics to create electricity sell the scrap, clean it up a bit then sell the land.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:40, Reply)
What you going to do for start up capital?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Dragons den

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:46, Reply)
or might hit up my cousins hedge fund.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Good idea
Leaves and sticks are easily recycled
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:49, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:49, Reply)
I can give you a grand for 40% share.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:47, Reply)
To be honest I'd need more like 4 million to even get going.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Then I am out.
Soz!
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Look at the trommel video up there and reconsider.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Hmmmm!
*looks down back of sofa for loose change*
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:55, Reply)
I teach children about woodwork and waterproof trousers.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:37, Reply)
And Sinclair C5 maintenance.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:39, Reply)
And to always wrap up when bumming.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:40, Reply)
and gay bikes

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:47, Reply)
It pays the bills, I wouldn't choose to spend my days here.
The idea of sexy nurses is nice, but the reality is that most of them are as fat and ugly as the rest of the population.

No, tube drivers should not earn that amount. They should give it to me.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Student nurses are best.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:41, Reply)
It does get my goat.
I heard one of their poorly educated members trying to justify his wages on Newsnight.

He compared himself to a airline pilot. Silly cunt.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Ship in a load of Poles prepared to do it for minimum wage.
That'll teach 'em, eh?
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Just mechanise it.
When they do, half the houses in Epping will go up for sale.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Self employed stuff, doesn't feel like a job.
Employed stuff, I'd happily hit the cunts with a frying pan.
In Carry On movies, usually; even Hattie Jacques has a certain "why not" appeal.
No.
That's nice.
I'm not.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Hattie Jacques was apparently a right goer.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Fat birds innit.
They try harder.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:45, Reply)
More squishy bits

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:50, Reply)
"Let's go and jump up and down on a couple of fat whores"
Name the book and I'll send you seven british pence.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Down and out in London and Paris by George Orwell.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:52, Reply)
ZERO PENCE

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:55, Reply)
I've got that on my desk!!

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:58, Reply)
It is a great book.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:59, Reply)
The Koran.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:56, Reply)
That's worth fourteen pence at least. What's your paypal?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:10, Reply)
I miss lesbianism : (

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Me tarzan :<

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:55, Reply)
I didn't know they'd had the competition already.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Just got it.
*flashes comfortable shoes*
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:11, Reply)
I have work, probably not a vocation though.
yes they are sexy, it's about power innit.

No, fat fucks should be replaced with computer driven trains asap.

my bum is, therefore I am.

I would but i can see your growler from here
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:41, Reply)
My job is shit but to be honest I get away with murder and it's very well paid.
A woman of my age and lack of talent should not complain.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Tubedriver salary is £46k with a pay deal that'll raise it to about £50k
Are you some sort of filthy communist?

I can't see your crotch for all those moths.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:43, Reply)
One of the papers did a review
of their wages. 66k was based on 42k basic, pension, bonus and 2 free 1-6 zone passes.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Sweet.
That Bob Crow must have truly massive balls.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:49, Reply)

Bob Supreme
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:50, Reply)
I have stood next to him at the pisser.
He does. They are fucking massive.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Relative to your ball bearings?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:53, Reply)
Relative to my large and, quite franky, impressive genitalia.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Bob crow is a cock, a big fat cock, the biggest damned cock in the whole wide world.
If ever there was a cock, bob crow would be that cock, fucking up london for all the boys and girls !
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Go Gonz.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:59, Reply)
He isn't the mayor.
His job is to get as cushy a deal as possible for his members. By that measure, he's fucking superman.

And I mean he's literally fucking superman. He's got the man of steel bent over a TFL bus shelter and is hammering his Kryptonian ring with all his mighty might.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Poor old Superman.
Imagine that red-faced, piggy-eyed cunt doing you up the soil pipe.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:16, Reply)
That is fucking ridiculous!
And as you know I don't usually use bad language.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:50, Reply)
I know.
It's not even like you need to know where you are going.

Accelerate when it's dark. Apply the brake when it gets suddenly light.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:54, Reply)
I had to explain to my mrs that train driver don't use a steering wheel to steer the train along the tracks.
Bless her. She's far better qualified than me, yet appears to know nothing.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:56, Reply)
They don't have a steering wheel?
Who'd a thunk it?
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:57, Reply)
Ahhhh bless!
I guess she must be nice to look at though.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Well I would

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:00, Reply)
I have.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:12, Reply)
She'd rather fuck a Frenchman

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:23, Reply)
She told me she has. Like Zulus
"Thousands of 'em"
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:30, Reply)
*something about them shooting in the whites of her eyes*

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:50, Reply)
It's the deal their union has reached with their employers.
Seems odd to get worked up about a mutually agreed package.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Then their employers are idiots.
Can I get worked up about idiots?
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Their employers are a corporation subsidised and indirectly governed by Londoners.
So you're basically saying that cockneys are idiots. You terrible racist.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:58, Reply)
I fucking hate cockneys with their cheeky grins and ridiculous fancy clothing splattered with a million buttons.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:00, Reply)
Porkie pies knees up the apples and pairs strike a light mary poppins lovely jubbly awright.
I'm bi-fucking-lingual, me.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:05, Reply)
It's all Greek to me.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Evening everybodypeeps. Is Stavros innit.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Only worked up because I have an annual season ticket.
I am allowed to complain, it's my democratic right. As it is theirs to withdraw labour whenever the mood takes them.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:56, Reply)
That's fair enough.
London has a public transport system that's about as good as most major European cities and costs three times as much. You muppets.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:09, Reply)
That's because it is ancient and can't be shut down for any real length of time for a complete overhaul

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Unlike every other underground system in the world.
Mnnnng.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:18, Reply)
I think you're implying that London is unique in not being able to be shut down.
But it is unusual, a lot of other subway systems have dual rail setups so they can close down an entire set of tunnels for inspection while the service still operates.

This is is why the New York subways runs 24 hours a day.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:20, Reply)
If you get stuck between stations in NY
you can sometimes see 1970s graffiti. I get very excited by this, because I am a twat.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:23, Reply)
I like this.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:24, Reply)
This sounds like something I could learn all about on The Internet.
If my life were crushingly tedious and pointless.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Nah, you'd never find that information on the internet.
You can only get it by talking to other people.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:35, Reply)
If only I knew some crushingly tedious and pointless people in Real Life.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:51, Reply)
If you don't know a crushingly tedious and pointless person, then it's you.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:57, Reply)
i fucking hate the tube
i might feel less strongly if i didn't have to use the district line, mind.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Bank holidays, a friend's birthday, nice weather etc

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:15, Reply)
gross incompetence that could have killed many, many people
because someone is too dumb to know their left button from their right button.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:17, Reply)
ETC ETC

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:18, Reply)
This is easily the best job I've ever had
but that says much more about my employment history than anything else.

As regards tube drivers, if it was fair for that sort of remuneration to be applied to sit there for a bumpy ride occasionally pushing buttons, etc etc laboured gay metaphor GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:46, Reply)
where oh where is st mmps
patron saint of the poor misunderstood tube drivers?

it's up to london underground what it pays them. but do i believe that the job warrants that kind of skill? hell no.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:02, Reply)
As you passionately believe that it's entirely up to the company to determine what it's employees are worth
then your opinion as to whether or not you think their employees are worth that much is entirely worthless.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:14, Reply)
of course my opinion is worthless to them
i'm just one of the poor sods who has to pay them MOAR MONEY every year despite the fact that there is no improvement in the service.

much like your grammar. please go and read up on the use of apostrophes and then report back, kthx.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Oh man, that was so cutting. I can't believe you totally pwned my grammar.
She's over eighty you know.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:17, Reply)
then she should have learned the difference between "it's" and "its" by now

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Work, eh?
I wouldn't fucking know.

Nurses? Are they any more sexy than everyone else? Must be a uniform thing.

Tube drivers may only be going forward and backward on rails, but they're doing it underground in the dark, they have to put up with 'the public' and are responsible for the safety of their passengers all day. They should get whatever train drivers & pilots get.

Leave your nether regions out of this, you massive pervert.

In other news, I'm back and I done good. I think.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 12:59, Reply)
Don't they just press buttons and read dashboards that tell them when it's ok to stop and go?
As for responsible for passengers safety!
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:02, Reply)
You are right. They press 'stop' and 'start' buttons for a living.
Plus they DON'T deal with the public other than over the intercom.

Compared with bus drivers they do shit all for almost twice the money. The sooner it's automated the better. The fucking greedy, blackmailing cunts.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:11, Reply)
i hate the way they inevitably time their announcements
so that you can't hear a word over what's going on outside or the automated announcements. this also applies to the station lot.

URGENT, URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT. WHICH WE ARE GOING TO TELL YOU JUST AS THIS TRAIN RUMBLES THROUGH THE STATION AND DROWNS OUT THE LOT.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:16, Reply)
It is almost lunch, so this should be fine.
A colleague took it at Braknell a few minutes ago.


(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:01, Reply)
I'm sure I saw one of those on fb this morning taht was in Croydon.
Methinks Waitrose are taking the piss now.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:02, Reply)
I hope I've not been lied to.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:04, Reply)
it's huge!
my eyes, my eyes...
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:02, Reply)
You've NO IDEA how often I hear this.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:14, Reply)
I think you're forgetting that we know your girlfriend.
We can check, you know. We have the power.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:17, Reply)
I for one am willing to check myself.
As an un-biased member of this board.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:19, Reply)
You spelled 'sex pest' wrong.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Good idea. I think an independent inquiry is probably best.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:22, Reply)
It is Monty's unbiased member that started this talk

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:59, Reply)
Feel free.
She'll be back online later, once she gets back from the hospital where she's been since our last 'encounter'.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:19, Reply)
The GUM clinic again?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:20, Reply)
Is that your husband's dentist?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:21, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:22, Reply)
hahahaha!
PROPER officelol
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:59, Reply)
is it "never" ?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:18, Reply)
See? I told you that you had NO IDEA.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:21, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:32, Reply)
There are pictures of Waitroses like this all over the web today.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:03, Reply)
I'm going to sit on the bastard when he gets back to the office.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:05, Reply)
They've obviously forgotten all their shops have those kind of frames.
Saying that, I think ours has big plain glass windows. I'll have to go there today and look.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:06, Reply)
I work in an office, for a company that makes plastic cards.
I was shagging a nurse for a good few months when I was younger, she was filthy, and always up for it, it was great. I am most envious of her new fella.

No fucking chance do they.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:06, Reply)

www.puppetsbypost.com/image/products/large/Nurse_Hand_Puppet-pc003905-1L.JPG.jpg
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:09, Reply)
Yeah, look at that filthy bitch
Could take my whole hand without even having to lube it up first. Phwoar!
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:10, Reply)
A job, definitely.
Nurses I've met have all bee large middle aged Affrican women, so yes, sexy.

I assume if tube drivers actually do earn 66k then that's how much you have to pay them to do the job, so yes.

Glad to hear it, better than cold.

I'm sorry, just not seen one that small ebfore.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:07, Reply)

I assume if bankers actually do earn £10m then that's how much you have to pay them to do the job, so yes.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Interesting article about how much Stephen Hester is worth
www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jan/23/stephen-hester-payout-bad-for-taxpayer?INTCMP=SRCH
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Innit.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Same in both cases, saddly
If you can get someone cheaper to do it then please do. 66k for a horrible job is rather less silly than 10M for a cushy one though.

What I find sillier is that they never seem to get fired for fucking up.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I'd be interested to see the total tube driver wage bill and how what percentage of a ticket is related to it

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Christ. You must be unbelievably fucking dull even for this place.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:10, Reply)
oh piss off i was answering the question
you're the one who likes to run long drawn out trolling arguments with people when you are RIGHT ON THE INTERNET
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:12, Reply)
I read that as zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:12, Reply)


(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:14, Reply)
hahahaha
I almost didn't post it, biut couldn't be bothered to rewrite, wuv oo really shammykins
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:15, Reply)
GAY

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:18, Reply)
You're the one posting images of handbags.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:19, Reply)
You wish Jean-Paul

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:21, Reply)
This is the most correct thing I have ever read.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Wait till I get dumped again.
You won't know what's hit you.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:12, Reply)
The Who's beakering hit single.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I'm going to retrain as a tube driver.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:13, Reply)
You're used to things going into dark tunnels, aren't you.



That was a joke about bumming, in case you missed it.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:16, Reply)
it was a little subtle

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:21, Reply)
I'll help
1: push this button
2: push that button
3: strike
4: ???????
5: PROFIT
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:16, Reply)
I would ask why people who think the pay is out of order don't do this.
it's near twice what I earn, but still I'd not spend my working life underground, even for that money, but maybe that's just me.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:33, Reply)
/Jam

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:04, Reply)
As with a lot of things
The idea of nurses is far sexier than the reality.
That said, as has been mentioned, the Uni I went to had a student nursing dept. If you stayed on over summer they all had some sort of convention. You would have to be the ugliest bloke on the planet not to get your whistle wet*


*didnt get whistle wet*
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:26, Reply)
i have a vocation, too stupid for a job
nurses are sexy yeah, i saw this thing on more4 really late the other night and this noice nurse had to tend to a convicted paedophile who kept putting his poo on the windowsills

and her boyfriends was a fat waste of space who didn't want to marry her, i'd have maried her

alt yes they should, i wouldn't want to spend hours underground working evenings and weekends and bank holidays
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:35, Reply)
I have two jobs.
Al would have you believe that one of those jobs involves selling meats and cheeses at a deli counter and the other involves being jizzed at. In the eyes.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:41, Reply)
al believes a lot of things.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:44, Reply)
I don't believe the second thing.
That's not a job, it's just what she does at the weekend. The first thing is true.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:45, Reply)
the children are our future?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:48, Reply)
No they aren't.
That's just what capitalists would have you believe.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:50, Reply)
teach them love and let them lead the way

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:50, Reply)
I'd like to introduce you to my band, Sexual Chocolate

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:52, Reply)
ha ha ha

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Here he is... Randy!

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:58, Reply)
*applies Soul Glo"

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:00, Reply)

the greatest love of al
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:54, Reply)
THERE'S A GAAAAHD IN HEAVEN!

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:56, Reply)

Amen! Yes, sir! Can I get an "Amen"? Ha! Ha! I don't know you what you come to do, but *I* come to praise the name! Lord, Lord!
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:04, Reply)
Is food.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:56, Reply)
And running marathons.

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:56, Reply)

running eating

this strikethrough was brought to you by the 1980's
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:11, Reply)
Are you not a Librarian?
A proud profession.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:46, Reply)
No, she's a Virgo

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:49, Reply)
http://instantrimshot.com/

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Naaah I'm only an assistant

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Nowt wrong wi' that

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)
Tenuously related...
I met up with some old flatmates last night who've since become (behold my tenuous link) doctors. They now live on a nice quiet residential road, and told me they'd recently received a letter from a neighbour
concerned about the noise from a house full of young people further down the road. Said letter encouraged the street to complain to the council about this noise, and finished by warning fellow residents that they "may wish to talk to this household personally but, youth being what it is today, one or more of them may be carrying a knife."
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 13:58, Reply)
I can't do a Coming To America quote for this :(

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:00, Reply)
what about Boomerang?

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:03, Reply)

Prince Akeem: Good morning, my neighbours!
Voice: Hey, fuck you!
Prince Akeem: [genuinely happy] Yes, yes! Fuck you too!
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:03, Reply)
TO BE LOVED, WOOAH, WHAT A FEELING!

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)
Talking of work....
...I've only gone and done a bit.

Now where we? Oh yes............*stares at Stunned's crotch*
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:04, Reply)
alright love leave it out, bit sex pesty goin on here

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Duh!

(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:09, Reply)

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