Hello Off Topic
What is your favourite chocolate bar? Mine is a Boost. I had a Double Decker at the weekend after spending years under the misconthingmabob that it had nuts in it which I cannot eat. It was still not very good in my opinion.

Alt: Which member of this here forum makes you do a bile-burp in disgust every time you see them post?

Alt-Alt: You have 5 minutes till the end of the world, a gun and one bullet. Who do you kill?
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:57, 151 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

If you have conversations with your wife like this, it's no wonder she doesn't love you anymore.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)

I made no mention of her feelings for me, but carry on

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Now this is a much better way to post than your wawawawa initial contribution.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:04, Reply)

I agree.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Is that like a wahwah pedal?
(I think this is a music gag)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Kit Kat Chunky, the king of chocolate bars.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Not a big fan of kitkats.
The Dark ones though are pretty good.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)

No, he was telling you to get him a Kit Kat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)

FUCKING HELL.
First you ruin Batman and now you bad mouth Kit Kats. My estmation of you has gone right down in the last few minutes.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Proper lol, thanks mate. I needed that. :D
It's funny though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:10, Reply)

It is excellent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)

^This is the correct response, Poppet.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:10, Reply)

I am a fan of this
Four fingered KitKat birthed many a wonder but is now the deformed uncle sitting by the bayou with his banjo
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Does this make him bigger or smaller?
I lose track
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)

A banjo should have little or no bearing on a person's perceived size.
It is the banjolele which often disrupts perspective.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)

my dad has gone off his vintage banjolele because it's hard to play
he has bought himself a cheap one for practising.

which is what i suggested in the fucking first place.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

clearly it has to be hotel chocolat lemon cheesecake slabs
alt: obvious question is obvious.

altalt: if it's the end of the world in 5 minutes time, what on earth is the point? pointless question is pointless.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:10, Reply)

OI. You owe me a gaz.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

oh shit yes
hang on
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Why were you absent on Saturday evening?
There is a small north London gathering tomorrow evening if you're free?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

shit, i owe stunned a text as well
i'm failing all over the place here. sat night i was out dining on amaaaaazing japanese fodder and then getting cunted at a speakeasy. it was underground, so i only got his text when i fell out onto the street at about 3am.

i am coming tomorrow night, berk is liaising, i believe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Splendid. I will gaz pub details.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

brilliant
i'd better have my hair done. stunned looked at me critically the last time he saw me, and said, "you look very different with curly hair, don't you?"

:(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

No charm that boy. No charm at all.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)

he was wanking into monty's hair at the time

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)

The altalt says something about who your are or some shit
It says you're dull and obvious
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)

i thought the obvious answer was EVERYONE?
oh well. carry on.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Fuck off Oldman

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)

well. aren't you a treat?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Ooh, I like treats, there were something from back in the day unless I'm misremembering
Sorry to bring you back 'down to earth' but I meant no offence, it was a FILM reference.
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Are you saying that Swipe is, in fact, Big Mo?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Mo
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Wouldn't dream of it

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Boost is a good choice, either that or Twirl for me
However, if they still existed, it'd have to be a Maverick bar.

Alt: You.

AltAlt: You.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)

hotel
chocolat

lemon

cheesecake
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

I prefer strawberry cheesecake
And I've not tried that stuff.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Aw shucks
*ruffles AA's hair*
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Hang on, I have questions.
Do I already have the weapon? Is it properly licensed? If I don't already have a weapon will there be someone giving out firearms? As a logistical excercise with only 5 mins to go until the end of tbe world, that'd be impossible, right? What if the person I wanted to kill was miles away? Then I'd have to settle for killing someone close by, like my wife.

And as we all know, she's under a patio in Penge.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Oh, did I say gun? I meant gnu
*rolls eyes*

What a lemon!
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Fuck off.
Handing out nearly 7 billion gnus would be more challenging that 7 billon guns. And why would a gnu need bullts?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)

*panics*
*something about great boo*

*runs and hides*
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)

YEAH, YOU'D BETTER RUN!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)

Also, I've never fired a gun before
I'm sure it would take me at least five minutes to load the bullet into the gun.
Why don't people think of practicalities like these when posing these questions?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)

I've fired a pellet fun, does that count?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)

pellet fun! like throwing rabbit poop at your friends and making them into nesquik cereal

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)

No. A Spud Gun would, though.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)

It's a worry, tanglers, it really is.
Obviously, being an "Internet Hardman" I have no problem using firearms (see? I said 'firearms', so I know what I am talking about here), but we need to remember that some people don't know the difference between a safety catch and a sliding lock mechanism.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)

I can see that you've read Bravo Two Zero.
I'm thinking of getting a copy.
And maybe dressing in "combat" gear.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)

+ watching 'Ultimate Force'.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)

That's actually used by 'The Regiment' (ACTUAL military term) for training videos.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)

I've read all the books about WAR.
I know all about "RV" points and Evacs and I reckon that I could just walk in to the SAS with no training at all and they'd be all "Oh man, you're just the man we needed. Here are the keys to the regimetal Honda Accord."
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)

Regimetal
Best of all the metals. \m/ \m/
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I like Squares, but am not sure if they count as a chocolate bar.
I love everyone here. I!'m not sure about that AA though).
No idea.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)

Cunt.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Eye thenk yew.
How's things?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Not bad thanks, you?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Yes good.
A 3 day series of drunken debauchery. Feeling like absolute shite here.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)

dunno, someone mentioned a chocolate bar yesterday that i haven't had in ages but i can't remember what
alt battered, rachelswipe, poppet, psychochomp, barry and CQ, just to name a few

alt-alt any of the above
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)

I love you too darling x

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)

stop flirting

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:27, Reply)

stop flirting

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)

Fuck off, I'm one of the best ones on here.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:27, Reply)

And that's up against some pretty high standard posters too.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)

hahahahaha

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Yeah well you're pretty shit too.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Noun 1. understatement - a statement that is restrained in ironic contrast to what might have been said
statement - a message that is stated or declared; a communication (oral or written) setting forth particulars or facts etc; "according to his statement he was in London on that day"
litotes, meiosis - understatement for rhetorical effect (especially when expressing an affirmative by negating its contrary); "saying `I was not a little upset' when you mean `I was very upset' is an example of litotes"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Don't they still send Barrygate blaggers to the colonies?
He could go and live with Poppet, her accomodation problems would be solved. And she'd never go short of cheeky lines.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Or sunglasses

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)

No.
My accommodation plans involve someone else.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Me1Me!
Say it's going to be meeeee.
8Stamps petulantly*
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)

I miss Barry.
As someone who only interacted with him online, it makes no difference to me if he is a theif or not.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)

Has he gone permanentl?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)

I reckon so.
=(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Hopefully. Thieving little cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Thieving By the way (apropos of nothing) I'm a
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)

LOL! I sure got you all good!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)

this made me laugh (the pointlessness and Darth's reply, NOT the actual unfunny post)
also, a definite candidate for the altalt:

www.b3ta.com/questions/burninhell/post1673743
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)

That guy still annoys me
I should probably let go
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)

why would you give up when he is still being an arrogant pointless tool? when someone admits they acted a cunt. then you can let it go
until then, they need reminding how they come across to normal people. it's philanthropic, darth.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Good point
MASS TROLL
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

He is a fucking wanker.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Double Deckers are all of the awesome
but I had a Raisin and Biscuit Yorkie at the weekend with a brew and that was excellent.

Alt:
JMG

AltAlt:
Whoever is nearest
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Double Deckers are shit.
Hope this helps.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)

More for me innit
A Boost is also excellent
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)

My problem is that lots of chocolate bars have caramel,
and I fucking hate caramel.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

I care not a toss for chocolate bars. If I never eat one again I wouldn't mind one bit.
Alt: Every single miserable one of them. Ghastly bunch to a man. or woman.
Altalt: Ghostbusters?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Awesome movie there.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Have you heard this?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiH1wNmZTII

a 'mashup' of AC/DC and the ghostbusters theme tune.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Ghostbusters should have won every Oscar that year.
It's perfect in every way.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)

I hadn't seen the first one in years
Watched it again last weekend, it is absolutely excellent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

I like it on super hero movies when the super hero is on the top of a sky scraper, like, on something they shouldn't be standing on....
.... and their cape is eaither flapping in the wind or they're beeing all dark and broody. I always wonder though, as they're "watching over the city", what can they actually see? They're like a zillion floors up, they couldn't see anything happening on the ground, not even with super zoom vision (which they don't even have).
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Shut up Gonz.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)

This place was much better without you.
It's like we're doing your family a favour by keeping your unbanned.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Go and shit in a bag you pathetic drug addled sex pest.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Should I be picturing you as Stewie from Family Guy?
No offence little guy etc
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Wouldn't know. Never watched it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)

I remember when Mummy and Daddy wouldn't allow me the remote
Your time will come little man!
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:44, Reply)

I have this issue with my daughter, not even a year old and she has worked out that my iPad and the remote controls are high value, to be played with at all costs.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)

There really isn't any need to get so angry, have you seen those Kalms things in the phamacy? Or that St John's Wort stuff?
Maybe that'll help you out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Better that than get addicted to opiates eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:47, Reply)

The two aren't relivent... The opiates are not for my mental problems
I'm not sure why my dependency would be something to look down on, it's not like it would benefit me to not be on them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I suppose the drugs help you compensate for a lack of an offline sex life.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:10, Reply)

Caramac
ThunderCunt
I'd be tempted to put a slug in myself just to know what it feels like, five minutes to go why the hell not.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)

Best altalt answer yet

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)

i was gonna agree on thundercunt, but then i realised you ARE him

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

I'm you too

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)

I've got 5p, wish that I ahd 5p, what can you buy with %p,
you can buy a Caramac Bar!
Not fucking now. I nearly shattered my teth on a Dime Bar, appalling things.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Are you drunk already?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

It's the advertising jingle.
Burnt into my subconscious.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Twix. Can't wait for them to nick KitKat's design ideas.
Alt: Oh shit, I need a new answer to this after Friday. Only joking, it was always Rory. Or Apeloverage, but since he got royally flamed if he does appear it usually means much LOLs are right around the corner.

AltAlt: Depends on the transportation methods available to me, you can't get far in five minutes, especially since traffic at T-minus five minutes to Armageddon will be horrific. If I have a teleporter, one of the Gallaghers. Can I also have a hypnotist on hand to convince them to put their heads together so that one bullet will do for both of them? I'd like the specify that the gun be a Desert Eagle .50 and the rounds be caseless titanium-tipped shells for maximum penetration and exit wound satisfaction. LOL penetration LOL wound.

Actually, what kind of end of the world? If we're talking instantaneous world-explosion then I'll stick to my original answer but if the event occuring in five minutes is the commencement of the seas rising and the ground quaking etc then probably myself, get it over with quickly. Can't stand long drawn-out goodbyes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Twix Chunky?
At the risk of coming across as a LOLFatty - I am THERE.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)

OR
four-finger Twix. Which sounds like a LOLfatty comedy death metal band.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:50, Reply)

I don't play favourites, I hate you all equally.
As for a boost, frankly you're a fucking idiot. I hope you die painfully today, whoever the fuck you are.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)

Alright MMPS?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

alright

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Double Decker
Euphemism lols.

Alt- Monty, Swipe, Al, CQ, AA, Darth, Chompo, Gonz.

Alt alt- David Scameron and 'Nick' Clegg.

Cutting satire, right there.

Shit off.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

alt - is this a list of b3tans that have refused to sleep with you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)

can't be, you're on it.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Zing.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:52, Reply)

prick

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)

twat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)

wanker

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)

cock.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:00, Reply)

prick

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:06, Reply)

twat

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:09, Reply)

i think you're confusing me with your other half, bbz
now there's something that would sleep with anything
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:54, Reply)

nah, she can sit on the couch at the same time as me.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

well yeah
what else would you do when you're signing on?

at least i'd be at work, dude.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

I'm at work right now.
I should probably be pretending to be an internets lawyer though, that'd make me well popular.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)

course you are
keep wiping that arse, boy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)

oh man, you so got my number random internet lonely beaker person

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:00, Reply)

yep
you're a bitter scottish prick with a crippled partner and no prospects.

nice number.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:01, Reply)

a sad lonley junior lawyer with fading "looks" who gets literally shat on.
oh boy, I'm taking what you said to hart :'(
I'll console myself later by not being on my own in my house.
I bet you have cats.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:05, Reply)

yep
coming home from the dole office and wiping your partner's bum is DEFINITELY the better option. you go, boy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:07, Reply)

LOL! yeah, she's not a cripple.
I wonder who'd look after you if you were ill. the cats?
you're so charming they'll probably be a HUGE queue.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)

well, here's how it works when you have a proper job
your income is protected by things like insurance. so you don't need your partner to dabble in benefit fraud to wipe your arse.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:12, Reply)

still, not a sad lonley wobble gunt.
silver lining and all.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)

yeeeeeeeah
i wouldn't swop even for 10 seconds, mcbitter.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:16, Reply)

I'll remember that when I get home and see my son tonight.
say hi to the cats for me.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:18, Reply)

christ, they let you breed?
he'll be bitter AND crippled. best of both.

still, i'm sure you'll give him a great future. down at the dole office.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:19, Reply)

at least I can swipey, at least I can.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:20, Reply)

you say that like it's a good thing
it's most definitely NOT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:20, Reply)

yes it must be sad to have a barren womb :'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:23, Reply)

i may or may not decide to have kids
it's my choice. your poor little bastard, however, has no choice but to be a povvo scumbag.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:28, Reply)

random internet judgement lolz!
swipey has spoken!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:35, Reply)

no.
The ones that make me do a vom.

Soz babygirl.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:59, Reply)

chocolate bar wise
you can't go wrong with the mighty peanut butter kit kat chunky.
fuck your arguments to the contrary/you're wrong/STFU

alt: who's that one who waits till someone posts somethignthat sounds more exciting than what happens in their bedsit on a daily basis, then starts calling them liars/trying to outdo them with an even more improbable anecdote/accuses them of being a returned ex-poster?

oh yeah

EVERYFUCKINBODY.

alt-alt: it's thnking like this that's the reason we might actually find ourselves in a situation where the world is ending in five minutes. /treehugger
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)

You should have a nice carrot filled cornish pasty, that'll cheer you up.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)

ok, you just made the five minute world end list
go ahead, crimp it on the top, make my day *flexes trigger finger*
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:12, Reply)

I'm going to be mainstream and conventional and say Mars
but I'm secretly thinking of Double Decker.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Yorkie.
alt: the one continually posting photos of Steve McDonald from Corrie. Ignored.

altalt: Anyone I hate should stick around for the pain, why would I give them an easy way out?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 11:23, Reply)