Fuck tha police?
So, the good old British Bobby, eh?
Overworked, underpaid, essential public servants whose lives are constantly under threat?
Or violent thugs, who enjoy nothing more than bashing people with their big sticks?
Or are they simply 'plebes'?
Argue away please.

Alt: I don't know, argue about food or something. Which brand of baked beans is best or some shit.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 12:55, 219 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I have a huge distrust of the coppers
But society needs them. Just a pity they're so venal and self-serving.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 12:57, Reply)

Just to clarify
I am including Scottish policemen when I refer to 'British police'
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:00, Reply)

You may include them
but they don't include themselves
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:03, Reply)

I thought as much.
Typical English imperialist attitude.

You prick.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:05, Reply)

i was looking at crime statistics the other day
typically they only solve 10-20% of burglaries, robberies, sex offences and other such crimes, but around 90% of drugs crimes.

brilliant that innit eh?
(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:41, Reply)

Alright Quentin?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:44, Reply)

not really
i thought i was being MEGA clever setting up a new account and manolith ruined me :(
(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:46, Reply)

He's such a dick, I hate him.
Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:47, Reply)

i hate him too
it's too late now, everybody knows, i might as well leave 6ever
(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:50, Reply)

I had nothing but positive experiences with the british police. They were fantastic.
You will always get plebs and thugs in any sector that you work in unfortunately.

Baked beans are wronger than your granny's skidmarked underpants.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:00, Reply)

You can fuck off with your baked bean bashing
and come back when you actually have some culture of your own.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:04, Reply)

It's not my fault that baked beans are paste-y mush that is covered in a shitty tasting tomato sauce.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:05, Reply)

I hate baked beans.

( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:06, Reply)

Yeah well that's cos you're awesome, innit?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:07, Reply)

Pretty much, yep.

( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:08, Reply)

so.... many........ strikethroughs..............

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:10, Reply)

I'm struggling

we ome wan
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:50, Reply)

je detest haricots cuits au four!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:11, Reply)

baked beans are fucking rank
they are the product of a diseased mind
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:05, Reply)

THANK YOU!
At last, someone with a semi refined palate around here...
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:06, Reply)

mush covered in sugary synthetic crap is not food
it is punishment
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:07, Reply)

I'm with you two
Now lets get some badges made up
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:07, Reply)

The "flick those beans away club"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:08, Reply)

Click

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:08, Reply)

hahaha
ape is on fire
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:10, Reply)

What the fuck do you people put on your baked potatoes, eh?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:08, Reply)

pints of cum

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:09, Reply)

Chips

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:09, Reply)

I didn't realise you were Scottish.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:10, Reply)

Close, I just like potatoes

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:12, Reply)

Ah, Irish.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)

English, from the Home counties

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)

STOP SPOILING IT, JOCKO!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:17, Reply)

Can yee ma sew pal?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:19, Reply)

cheese and jalapeno coleslaw
is the ONLY acceptable topping

possibly vegetarian chilli
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:10, Reply)

coleslaw is for Krauts and mouth wrongs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:11, Reply)

oooh no
coleslaw rocks
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:11, Reply)

Again, we agree.
We're sailing dangerously close to having something in common, here. Quick talk about something Tory.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:12, Reply)

the new proposed tax is fucking irritating

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)

Sorry, I haven't been paying attention.
But if you don't like it, then it's probably in my favour.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)

basically i don't care how much tax everyone else pays
but i shouldn't have to pay any, ever. how's that?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Ah the Jimmy Carr Hypothesis

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:22, Reply)

i was going to say something about paul mckenna
but it really wasn't funny. let's pretend it was, and you do a massive LOL?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:28, Reply)

LOL*
* LOL is a Registered company in Jersey
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:30, Reply)

..Something about keeping Canisten VAT free

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:16, Reply)

I have no problem with the poliss.
One of my best friends is one, my dad was one and I've thought of joining more than once. The coppers I've been busted by were professional and courteous. I don't really understand why people hate the police. If you've been nobbled by them, then you've done something to deserve it.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Tell that to Ian Tomlinson

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:01, Reply)

Or Blair Peach

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:02, Reply)

I should insert a "probably" in there.

( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:03, Reply)

or Tony bLIAR

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:04, Reply)

FREE GARY GLITTER

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:40, Reply)

I thought about joining the police more than once too.
would be a great way to help people I think.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:03, Reply)

You should join the flying doctors

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:07, Reply)

Why would I do that? I don't want to be a doctor, and I'm afraid of heights.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:08, Reply)

ok, ok
subterranean police then
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:09, Reply)

That could make a good TV show
tonight at 9 'U-Boat cops' Detectives are hot on the trail of criminals using lobsters as drug mules

Edit: I know you said subTERRAINian not subMARINE, but the London underground falls under the remit of the BTP who rarely if ever encounter lobsters
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:11, Reply)

I think you are confused about the word "Subterranean"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)

She could work for the secret service
as a mole.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)

it looks like the worm has turned my friend

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:14, Reply)

I have extremely mixed views of the metropolitan police:
Their Sapphire unit was excellent when a friend of mine was raped two years ago.

One of my mates has been pulled over more than 10 times in the last few months for DWB (driving whilst black), just because he drives a Lotus.

They were useless in helping us with a mentally ill neighbour (who in the end was sectioned).
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:05, Reply)

Do you think we should go to the US style system of only being allowed to pull someone over if they have 'probable cause'?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:08, Reply)

The 'probable cause' in this case was that the person was black

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:09, Reply)

I don't understand what the problem is, here.

( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:11, Reply)

Alright Noel.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:18, Reply)

I bet he voted to have the burka banned in public

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:19, Reply)

I actually think wearing burkas is a) fucking weird and b) fucking creepy
and I think that anyone who wants to wear one should be banned from doing so for being a fucking idiot.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:20, Reply)

You are such a right wing racist, you make me SICK

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:23, Reply)

I wouldn't ban the existance of them
just people that actually wanted to wear them. If they were being forced to wear them, then they could, but then everyone would know that the people wearing them were actually the victims of a male dominated deeply misogynistic culture.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:25, Reply)

I heard they like to stick their little brown winkies through the post slot and have the woman flutter her eyelids on their bellends

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:29, Reply)

What's the difference between blacks and Asians?
Black women aren't all that much more efficient than their men.

Worst joke ever told.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Yes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)

I don't think that's a very good idea
There have been several cases where people who have clearly commited crimes being let off because the police didn't have "probably cause" to pull them over in the first place.

But I do think that better record keeping on the ethnicity of people that are pulled over and those who are stopped and searched and basically fuck over the police forces where the ethnicity of the people covered by "random" searches doesn't match that of the make up of the area where the searches were carried out.

That coupled with any police officer who is shown to have assaulted someone in custody or who uses terms of racial abuse to suspects to be immediately suspended and the people who investigate them to actually investigate the issue and not just act as a whitewash over the official line that no policeman can ever be guilty. And if they are found guilty they should face a much harsher punishment than if the same crime was carried out by a civilian because they should be held to higher account.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:19, Reply)

I suppose the % of stops should eb proportionate to the % of crimes commited by that ethnic group

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Yes, you could work out the details along those lines.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:24, Reply)

That would still lead to more black people being stopped than white though
and the argument would continue
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:25, Reply)

But then you're providing a valid justification.
At the moment it is totally unjustified, and I don't think the percentage of ethnic minorities that actually get found guilty of crimes is that much greater than that of "white" people.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:27, Reply)

According to my policeman mate it is.
But then he's A) insitutionally racist and B) working in a poor, black area.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:28, Reply)

I seem to remeber a stat that said the black population makes up X of the overall population, but are responsible to Y% of crimes. Ie more than they should be for their size
the simple explanantion for this is the amount of black people living in poor urban areas, where you get to the real issue which is poverty rather than race.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:32, Reply)

This is basically it
if anything like that can be reduced to a single factor.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Plus they are more likely to get stopped by the police, so get caught more often than their white counterparts.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:39, Reply)

interesting. probably true, but presumably impossible to prove.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:58, Reply)

there are some racial indicators in crimes
a disproportionate amount of drugs/robbery/burglary tend to be black, but you get to the other end of the scale, the rapists, the murderers, and they are nearly all white. as apey says, the former is explicable due to social-economic factors. but why are all the really sick cunts white? weird.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:38, Reply)

Similar reason.
I mean, assuming you're talking about serial offenders, sexual violence and sadistic murder tends to be a middle class crime, presumably to do with some fucked up aspect of upbringing/boredom/whatever I guess. So you could argue if that socio-ecomonic group is predominently white, so will the criminals

I'm not sure more rapists and murderers in general are white though, I bet it pretty much exactly mimics the ethnicity stats in the UK. There are just more white people here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:42, Reply)

this is as good an explanation as any
i mean, you think of a really sick fucker, your albert fishes, your ian bradys, your myra hindleys - all white.

i read somewhere that a lot of killers have lower than average IQs and higher than average testosterone levels - guess that would explain why so many of them are male. hmmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:47, Reply)

You've just named 3 white serial killers.
But I can't think of any others.

Oh hang on, John Wayne Gacy. That's 4, i'm sure that's not representative.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:48, Reply)

This contains a list of 57 black serial killers.
blackpeoria.wordpress.com/list-of-black-serial-killers/
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:50, Reply)

not certain I want to click a "blog should be evidence itself of the growing Race War being waged against White America. "

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:00, Reply)

dennis neilson and ted bundy
where is monty when we need him?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:57, Reply)

oh and peter sutcliffe

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:57, Reply)

I heard they were so middle class about it that they had to post their knives and penises back and forth across the country so as to ensure confidentiality.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:47, Reply)

take it up with the Wellcome Trust, IT boy.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:51, Reply)

It's cos of our proportionately smaller winkies

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:46, Reply)

I think that is talking in hindsight
If someone is 'obviously' doing something illegal that is grounds for probable cause.

If I can refuse a search, or not let the police search my home or business without a warrant. Why can't I as a free citizen use a public highway without the presumption of innocence?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:29, Reply)

Because you're probably doing something illegal just by standing in one place for too long
or by the way you drive.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Don't we already have that?
I thought the police couldn't stop you without cause. Hence the flap every time they ask to introduce random breath tests.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:33, Reply)

I don't care for baked beans
I would agree that police are essential public servants. I have only had positive dealings with the police. I blame the problems that seem to pop up with them on politics.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:05, Reply)

HEY LOOK ITS ANOTHER PERSON WITH A BIRTHDAY HOW EXCITING

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)

YAYYYY CAKE TEIM!!!
also I'm older.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:17, Reply)

uh oh
*ducks*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:17, Reply)

I have less b3ta friends
and by that I mean none.

I fucking win
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:21, Reply)

It's traditional to have a bash for double birthdays.
If you don't I'll come around your house and cut you. You know I can.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:17, Reply)

:(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:20, Reply)

:D

( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:20, Reply)

It's Munsta's b3ta day too
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=16476
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:37, Reply)

Criminals are probably bigger cunts than the police

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:07, Reply)

Nobody ever became less of a prick when they put on a uniform

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:14, Reply)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)

You'll probably get stepped for having a candle.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)

It's brilliant not being here, I get stuff done and don't want to kill myself

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:19, Reply)

Well it's great to have you back

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:22, Reply)

I've seen the populol page, you friggin guys ! Eh eh I've missed ummm loads I see

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:24, Reply)

that uniform dating website that gets advertised on tv
is that a pisstake or what?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)

Gimmick, innit.
There's a dating website for bikers and those that fancy bikers.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:16, Reply)

There is a dating site for everyone!
Including those with STDs
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:17, Reply)

I'm far too highbrow to watch tv

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:17, Reply)

Always the voice of reason, Rory.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:16, Reply)

Sometimes I don't even need to wear velcro strapped shoes

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Ask that question here in Manchester mate,
after the two poor sods who got shot the other week.
I'm still not really a fan though.
Alt, I had Borlotti beans and meatballs for breakfast, nom.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:18, Reply)

Thre seems to be a bit of a History of Mancs shooting female police

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:18, Reply)

The fact that this happened as soon as I moved here is entirely coincidental I assure you

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Shot AND exploded.
Seems like overkill to me.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:19, Reply)

He could have used that grenade to go fishing
although i doubt the local "Iceland" would be too pleased
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:20, Reply)

The pikey Crocodile Dundee method.

( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:21, Reply)

yeah because "Mick" was dead posh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:23, Reply)

No, but he did it in a lake.
And Iceland is...oh, never mind.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:25, Reply)

What's DNS?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:26, Reply)

How do supermarkets choose what to stock?

( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:29, Reply)

They phone everyone up and check
"no beans for you mr. Kroney, no worries. lots of Love Lidl"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Grenade into a cash and carry

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Dead Nakers Shortly

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:51, Reply)

Strewth mate, Daaags

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:24, Reply)

Why do people have to be so simple?
I have no issue with the police being all of the above, some time simultaneously.

ah, for the stupidity of this world!

Alt: all baked beans are shit. the beans are fine but the sauce is rancid.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Your sauce is rancid
least that's what my mum says
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:24, Reply)

It's a mix
Just as some people are nice, and others brave, and others smart, and others racist, and others cruel, and others dishonest - so are the police. In general they're alright, although their disregard for established case law when I disputed a speeding ticket irked me somewhat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:51, Reply)

would this "established case law" be you trying to weasel your way out of a conviction for something you clearly did?
and you wonder why they wanted to disregard it?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)

Clearly your lawyer wasn't expensive enough.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:55, Reply)

Haha.
The lawyer I used when I was taken to court for speeding was actually quite expensive, but was a mate so it didn't cost me owt. However and I made no attempt to weasel out of it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:57, Reply)

funnily enough
i've never had a single client complain that i am "not expensive enough".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:02, Reply)

YANAL, maybe?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:05, Reply)

You are not Anal enough?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Indeed.
And you can't even post a reply in the right place, so that's proving something.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:05, Reply)

If you weren't weaseling out of it
why did you need to go to court?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:03, Reply)

Because if you're going fast enough
you get taken to court anyway, so that the punishment can be set higher.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:04, Reply)

My dad didn't have to go to caught
they handed him a massive fine, but he didn't actually have to appear.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Ah, right, yeah.
No, I didn't appear, I used a solicitor to plead by letter. So, of course, I could have done it without a solicitor, but obviously I wanted advice on whether it's advisable to show up or not, as you do get a summons.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:07, Reply)

This, obviously, being one of the very few occasions
where I figured "asking b3ta" probably wasn't a sound plan.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Yeah, my dad just sent a letter.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:08, Reply)

I heard you can go whatevr speed you like as long as it's a prime

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 13:56, Reply)

It was a technicality
The law states a fixed penalty notice must reach you within 14 days of the offence, mine took 16 days.

I pointed this out, they said "no, we have to send it within 14 days".

I pointed out that was not in fact what the law said, and referenced a case where that was the decision.

They said, "no, we're right, let's go to court - or you can just take the fixed penalty". At which point I caved.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:10, Reply)

It states the rules re. service on the back of the letter you know. Citing case law as a lidl value Nick Freeman must have caused loads of lols
you knob
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:14, Reply)

And those rules agreed with me!
I just didn't want to take a day off and stand in front of a judge with my crappy excuse for why I shouldn't pay sixty fucking quid.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:17, Reply)

Probably wise. Since those are only the rules for fixed penalties.
I'm fairly sure they can do you for speeding at their own leisure, without bothering with a fixed penalty. It's just designed to save courts and the police and you time.

So even if you were right, the fact the fixed penalty wasn't done correctly is probably no barrier to them taking you to court for speeding anyway. Whereupon the fine would be means-tested rather than fixed and the court would have your balls for being a bit of a prick about it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:25, Reply)

i got caught twice in two days, in the same place
fucking sneaky hiding pig bastards
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:27, Reply)

They were hiding when they caught me
which, bizarrely, is legal in Scotland but supposed to be not allowed in England and Wales.

However, I was going a bit quick. So, fair cop.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:36, Reply)

they were hiding a mile down the road beyond a speed camera that everyone slows for
it's a 40 limit on a dual carriageway ffs, stoopid westcountry yokels
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:37, Reply)

The problem here is that those whose job it is to uphold the law have little to no training in law.
That and the fact that you were caught speeding, which is one law even a copper can understand.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:00, Reply)

The devices used to register speed have varying degrees of error

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:01, Reply)

yes.
But the margins are much smaller than the leeway you are given above the speed limit.

And people who try and use shit like this to get off something they are demonstrably guilty of are, frankly, cunts.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:03, Reply)

do you mean leighway, tmb?

(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:11, Reply)

no, I'm pretty sure I mean leeway.
as in from the space allowed for ships to drift. But I could be wrong, wouldn't be the first time.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:16, Reply)

lee·way/ˈlēˌwā/
Noun:

The amount of freedom to move or act that is available.
Margin of safety: "there is little leeway".

Also has 7.7 million google hits compared to 132000 for leighway which appears to be a place in or near Staines.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:19, Reply)

The A436, renamed after Lee Donovon was tragically killed in a bizarre white van/veal truck accident
4 eva in R hartz
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:22, Reply)

*cough*BOLLOCKS*cough*

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:03, Reply)

I get this all the time, I killed someone for littering once by mounting the pavement, but managed to get off in the end having cited the 'batman defence'
fucking pricks totally wasting my time
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:01, Reply)

you know what
in criminal cases, death by driving is hard to prove. you have to prove their was intent or dangerous driving.

what i'm saying is if you want to kill someone do it with a car, sentences are lighter than outright murder and you may even get away with a motoring offence rather than a conviction

that's all
(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:02, Reply)

max sentence for DBDD 14 years, you'd serve seven
that's all i'm saying
(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:03, Reply)

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE THE HINT AND RUN THAT PRICK PLMDZR OVER FOR ME PLEASE?

(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:03, Reply)

hello comedy person

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:06, Reply)

it was about bloody time somebody started some comedy around here

(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:09, Reply)

hello

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:06, Reply)

its just me quinton, no shakes

(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:09, Reply)

ITS QUINTIN !

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:12, Reply)

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:14, Reply)

Or is it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:14, Reply)

Check his DNS address and IP signature

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:14, Reply)

re-route the mainframe! somebody get the CPU on the motherboard!
dammit man, we're running out of KUDOs!
(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:16, Reply)

I've missed you the most Q

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:23, Reply)

Could you please explain what those things mean, for those who don't understand as well as you do?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:16, Reply)

*sits back with popcorn*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:19, Reply)

I had some cake

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:20, Reply)

He doesn't have a DNS address, he's a person behind a private router, not a website.
*bites*

*kicks self*
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Can still be traced
they manage to find naughty pirates OK.

*kicks Kroney*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:29, Reply)

He said DNS and IP
IP is valid, man! Stop kicking me :(
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:30, Reply)

*stops kicking*
*searches for bentspastic.Co.UK*
*search returns naked_ape*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:35, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1737073
(quintsy, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:14, Reply)

there's more comedy accounts out there ? I'm totes out of the loop man

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:15, Reply)

Honda accord?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:04, Reply)

with vtec stickers

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Fuckin' Justice!

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:09, Reply)

I was charged with public order offences
but I pointed out that I had said "Cheers" afterwards so they let me off since the Legless defence if legally bulletproof.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:04, Reply)

I once got a school bully raped once, needless to say she later killed herself rofl

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:07, Reply)

That's the last time I do you a favour btw.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:18, Reply)

Can you just tell us what you've done with Barrys remains? There's a poor mother who just wants to bury her son and you've stuck him into the footings of a new superwarehouse in romford or some shit. The jokes over man

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:24, Reply)

RIP Barry.
I bet he was looking forward to the bash too, loads of thieving opportunities.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Never!
Barry will never RIP.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Similarly, I got off several rape cases
since the victims admitted I had shouted "surprise!" immediately beforehand.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:07, Reply)

does anyone know what the required conditions for cutting off a drug dealer's head is?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:16, Reply)

The police aren't interested in investigating this sort of crime.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:18, Reply)

Does it need to be raining?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:19, Reply)

It can't hurt
nobody likes standing around in the rain.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Some from column A, some from colmn B and definitely some from column C,
But the U.K. police are supposed to be independent of the government, which isn't the case in some other places - this is a good thing.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Independent of the governmet?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Yeah, check it out:
Sorry for the Wikipedia link
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Yeah.
All the forces answer to the Home Sec/Justice Sec though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:29, Reply)

Absolutely, and the funding etc...
But, the principle is to:

1: Serve the public trust
2: Protect the innocent
3: Uphold the law
4: Classified
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Stay out of trouble Jim

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:39, Reply)

I don't have a dollar :-(

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:45, Reply)

I have just been invited to 2hr an upskilling session
starting in 6 minutes, wtf
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:24, Reply)

hahahaha!
genuine officelolz potd etc..
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:27, Reply)

if you hurry you might get some extra magicka and an epic longsword

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:28, Reply)

It may be an uphill tunnelling session,
and they spelt it wrong. Anyway, as it's an invite, technically you can turn it down.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:28, Reply)

tunnelling gardening
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:31, Reply)

It's supposed to be a 30 minute upskilling session
but they know who they're dealing with.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:29, Reply)

I am, and i quote my line manager here, "technically and interlectually streets ahead of my peers"
IN YOUR FAT FREnCH FACE PHILLPE
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:39, Reply)

do you stitch footballs in cambodia?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:41, Reply)

trainers...British Knights ones at that :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Your line manager can't spell either

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:42, Reply)

it's from my notes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:43, Reply)

Wow, you must be very proud.
Where do you work? A morgue?
( Kroney, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 14:58, Reply)