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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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 'I'm going to shock you now...'
	'I'm going to shock you now...'Tell the class about something you like (or dislike) that might surprise people who think they know you.
I'll start: I have a secret liking for 'Midsomer Murders' and the quiz programme 'Pointless'. Whilst I rail endlessly about how shit things are on here I am in real life a fairly jovial fellow with boundless enthusiasm for a great deal of things.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:05, 260 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
 I rather enjoy Pointless also
	I rather enjoy Pointless alsoI might have a go at it, in fact, with my Dad. He's a seasoned veteran of many TV quiz shows so we should have a decent shot at not completely embarrassing ourselves.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:08, Reply)
 Maybe wait til you aren't mental any more then.
	Maybe wait til you aren't mental any more then.Nothing says 'embarrassing' like a pilled-up mod dribbling all down himself, with his flies wide open and his shoes on the wrong feet.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:11, Reply)
 Good point
	Good pointMaybe I should aim slightly lower than a programme presented by the impressively witty Mr Armstrong. Is Pat Sharp's Fun House still on TV?
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:14, Reply)
 I dislike Kate Bush with a passion
	I dislike Kate Bush with a passionI have no basis for this dislike
I like mindless action films with little or no plot
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:08, Reply)
 Yeah, that kind of stuff
	Yeah, that kind of stuffI'm watching Killer Elite at the moment with Jason Statham and Robert De Niro
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:12, Reply)
 Crank 2 is a high point in his career
	Crank 2 is a high point in his careerWho else do you think could bring to the screen a realistic portrayal of a man who survived a fall out of an aeroplane only to have his heart removed and replaced by an electric one the power supply of which is slowly running out and who has to have sex with his girlfriend on the street to stay alive.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:28, Reply)
 In Transporter 2 he speaks this immortal line
	In Transporter 2 he speaks this immortal line"No, I'm not one of the gays"
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:37, Reply)
 The first Expendables is hugely underwhelming
	The first Expendables is hugely underwhelmingIt's a cast waiting for a decent movie. Dark Knight Rises is brilliant, as expected. Although not as good as the first two. As expected.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:16, Reply)
 I think it's better than the first one
	I think it's better than the first oneAlso, whilst I did hugely enjoy the second one, I can't help but think that it was only good because of Heath Ledger. If anyone else had played that part, I don't think it would have been any good.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:18, Reply)
 The rest of the cast is uniformly excellent after they got rid of Katie bloody Holmes
	The rest of the cast is uniformly excellent after they got rid of Katie bloody HolmesBut yes, it's Ledger's film. I prefer to look at it as it being excellent casting - knowing the success of the film hinged on hiring someone who could deliver a decent portrayal of perhaps the most entertaining and complicated of all comic-book characters. Same way that the first film hinged on finding a decent Bruce Wayne.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:24, Reply)
 I'm not denying they played their roles well
	I'm not denying they played their roles wellThey just weren't very interesting.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:26, Reply)
 Just because they didn't dress up as a woman and listen to green day doesn't mean they weren't interesting.
	Just because they didn't dress up as a woman and listen to green day doesn't mean they weren't interesting.(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:28, Reply)
 It's a good thing I haven't done either in a number of years, isn't it?
	It's a good thing I haven't done either in a number of years, isn't it?Morning Al
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:31, Reply)
 I disagree, as I say, as a stupid film with little plot, it's enjoyable enough
	I disagree, as I say, as a stupid film with little plot, it's enjoyable enoughThey went wrong with the second by trying to give it a plot
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)
 Midsomer Murders is fantastic.
	Midsomer Murders is fantastic.I'm going to shock you now, but when I'm sick, my favourite thing to do is watch Dr Phil. And Ellen. And read trashy magazines.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:11, Reply)
 I watched 'Pointless Celebrities' on Saturday. Accurate name.
	I watched 'Pointless Celebrities' on Saturday. Accurate name.Also the first episode I've watched all the way through. Was getting irritated at Rowland Rivron not knowing who 'Hobbes' was though, the fucking idiot. Also, he's a twat.
There isn't really anything I can say that will surprise people, as I have a tendency to reveal if I'm fond of anything anyway.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:12, Reply)
 I can't see why Chris Martin gets such a hard time
	I can't see why Chris Martin gets such a hard timeI assume it's because he's in Coldplay, but I also find them spectacularly inoffensive
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:12, Reply)
 I have plenty of time for him myself
	I have plenty of time for him myselfNo-one's forcing him to raise money and awareness for Amnesty. I think he gets tarred with the Bono brush.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:15, Reply)
 I enjoy reading novels about the character Jack Reacher
	I enjoy reading novels about the character Jack ReacherI like to pretend that he's actually real and if I were in a real bind that there is a good chance he would somehow come into my life and help me out.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:16, Reply)
 Have you seen there's a film coming out with Tom Cruise playing Reacher?
	Have you seen there's a film coming out with Tom Cruise playing Reacher?Tom Cruise FFS, hardly comparable to physical description of the character in the books.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:18, Reply)
 I thought you lot had to stick up for each other?
	I thought you lot had to stick up for each other?Or are you trying to get ahead in the pecking order for a go on Smurfette?
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:19, Reply)
 You'd make an excellent Reacher.
	You'd make an excellent Reacher.With all the practice you get in shops, the kitchen etc.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:21, Reply)
 trying to get back off the sofa without twisting his ankle as he drops the last six inches
	trying to get back off the sofa without twisting his ankle as he drops the last six inches(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:23, Reply)
 
	 Tom Crews is a cocktail maker, Tom Crews is a pretty good cocktail maker. Tom crews has a chrisis of confidence and is no longer a good cocktail maker. Tom Crews meets a girl, gains his confidence and then becomes a good cocktail maker again.
Tom Crews is a fighter-pilot, Tom Crews is a pretty good fighter-pilot. Tom crews has a chrisis of confidence and is no longer a good fighter-pilot. Tom Crews meets a girl, gains his confidence and then becomes a good fighter-pilot again.
Tom Crews is a race driver, Tom Crews is a pretty good race driver. Tom crews has a chrisis of confidence and is no longer a good race driver. Tom Crews meets a girl, gains his confidence and then becomes a good race driver again.
Tom Crews is a warior of worlds.....
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:46, Reply)
 My daughter turned to me on the bus on Sunday and said
	My daughter turned to me on the bus on Sunday and said'Daddy when I'm watching Noggin the Nog I feel like I'm in the story', which is almost vomit-inducingly cute but an indicator of excellent taste, I'd say.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:19, Reply)
 That is a wonderfully cute thing to come out with.
	That is a wonderfully cute thing to come out with.It's sad that it happened on such a povvo form of transport though.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:21, Reply)
 I quite like most of you on here (just don’t tell em I said so).
	I quite like most of you on here (just don’t tell em I said so).Not really into TV much mainly background noise, but I watch anything with Rick Stein for some reason.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:19, Reply)
 I have it on excellent authority
	I have it on excellent authoritythat he is a major-league alcoholic and really fucking unpleasant when he's lashed.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:21, Reply)
 I watch enough cookery shows, sadly, to have developed a theory on TV cooks
	I watch enough cookery shows, sadly, to have developed a theory on TV cooksThere are TV naturals who can also cook a bit, like Nigella Lawson.
There are chefs who've taken to TV surprisingly well, like Keith Floyd.
And there are undisputably superb chefs who shouldn't ever have been let anywhere near a camera due to a total lack of anything vaguely resembling a personality.
Mr Stein is the latter.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:22, Reply)
 Nigella is such a charicature these days.
	Nigella is such a charicature these days.Also I can't watch her programme without constantly thinking about what a cunt her father is.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:22, Reply)
 I know
	I knowYou could get an image of him on the vinegar strokes too
*shudders*
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:25, Reply)
 Ooh, torn here
	Ooh, torn hereOn the one hand I should call you a bender for thinking about Nigel Lawson whilst watching those tits.
On the other, he really is a cunt.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:25, Reply)
 She annoys me
	She annoys meevery chapter of her book is illustrated with a picture of her licking her finger or a piece of fruit in a suggestive manner.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:27, Reply)
 I had dinner with her brother Tom once.
	I had dinner with her brother Tom once.An utter, utter cunt as well.
It's amazing how dated Nigella's early programmes look, I think.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:27, Reply)
 Funnily enough, I can't stop thinking about a nice bit of cunt when watching her too.
	Funnily enough, I can't stop thinking about a nice bit of cunt when watching her too.(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)
 I love Post Apocalyptic films
	I love Post Apocalyptic filmsMy love of these films started with Mad Max 2 and led on to films like 12 Monkeys, Brazil etc.
The embarrassing part is I also like Mad Max 3 - Beyond Thunderdome, Waterworld, The Postman and a lot more terrible films. The exception is The Book of Eli which I thought was shit.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:19, Reply)
 The Book of Eli is indeed shit
	The Book of Eli is indeed shitDespite Gary Oldman's best efforts to make it otherwise. However so is Kevin's Gate, and no-one even looks like they're trying to improve it.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:26, Reply)
 secretly i quite like cross stitching
	secretly i quite like cross stitchingit's very soothing. until my inherent shitness at maths means i have counted the rows/colours incorrectly and i end up in a mongy rage with yet another 20% finished tapestry picture.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:24, Reply)
 I am spectacularly PC and left wing and an overly sensitive liberal type who will cry at the drop of a hat.
	I am spectacularly PC and left wing and an overly sensitive liberal type who will cry at the drop of a hat.As evidenced by the fact that I did on the walk to the station this morning listening to a documentary about the US Dakota War and the Dakota Indians walking back into Minesotta after being officially unbanned on the 150th anniversary.
Yup, I agree, that doesn't sound like much to cry about.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:24, Reply)
 Much more interestingly
	Much more interestinglywhat did you think of the New Krypton stuff? Been reading it recently, excellent stuff so far.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:28, Reply)
 Nope. not read that one.
	Nope. not read that one.I'm not a massive Superman afficianado really. I'm reading the current run, but don't have any real background knowledge.
Batman, on the other hand...
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)
 Ah sorry I thought you were a DC completist
	Ah sorry I thought you were a DC completistAm reading Kevin Smith's "Cacophony" at the minute. Well I say reading, occasionally picking up in between slavishly devouring "Preacher" would be more accurate.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:53, Reply)
 I have the full first 12 issues of the New 52 and a fairly extensive collection going back
	I have the full first 12 issues of the New 52 and a fairly extensive collection going backbut it has a big Superman sized hole in it.
Cacophony is good. And Preacher is amazing. The first full run of anything I ever read and still one of my favourites. It is entirely the fault of Jesse and Cassidy that I spend as much as I do these days.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:58, Reply)
 Preacher is just about my favourite full run ever
	Preacher is just about my favourite full run everWhich is a little unfair - one can hardly expect X-Men to sustain that sort of level of quality over 40 years. Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men series from 2004/5 is the best Marvel output I've ever read.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:03, Reply)
 
	 I'd go with Y: The Last Man (which is something else that made me cry, actually) or Transmetropolitan. But yeah, Preacher is up there.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:12, Reply)
 Just got started on Transmetropolitan, first compendium was excellent
	Just got started on Transmetropolitan, first compendium was excellentY is on the list
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:14, Reply)
 While I think of myself as fairly bright
	While I think of myself as fairly brightI do love dumb shit films with explosions etc (as has been mentioned)
On the flip side I really dont like children. I get very fucking bored of people who mention how clever their child is, and I have (while slightly under the influence) offered to challenge a relatives child to a quiz to see how fucking bright it was.
This didnt go down well
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:27, Reply)
 Really?
	Really?We all had you down as a monumental retard, Bonz.
Sorry to etc
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:28, Reply)
 Oh man, this is some kind of hilarious "in joke" which we won't get as we didn't go round to your house last friday.
	Oh man, this is some kind of hilarious "in joke" which we won't get as we didn't go round to your house last friday.(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)
 Hurh hurh dribble
	Hurh hurh dribblePlease note the use of the word "fairly" I think we can accept that most posters on here would fall into the "above general populace" on the brightness chart
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:29, Reply)
 For me, there's no harm in films where you can just switch your brain off and simply enjoy the crash-boom-bang nature of it.
	For me, there's no harm in films where you can just switch your brain off and simply enjoy the crash-boom-bang nature of it.Alien Vs Predator being one of the best for this.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:31, Reply)
 Fuck off you tit
	Fuck off you titAvP wasn't even a good brain dead film. It was just shit.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:32, Reply)
 I agree re mindless pap.
	I agree re mindless pap.It's like lager: sometimes the last thing you want is a complex, nutty finish and a hoppy, citrus fucking whatever, you want A COLD DRINK THAT YOU CAN DOWN and there's nothing to apologise for.
cf music: i frequently find that the simpler and more moronic a record is, the better. Take *THAT* Rick Wakeman!
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:34, Reply)
 This is why I like "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry and "Call me maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen so much
	This is why I like "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry and "Call me maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen so much(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:35, Reply)
 Call Me Maybe is about as close to a perfect pop song as I can think of
	Call Me Maybe is about as close to a perfect pop song as I can think of(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:37, Reply)
 I massively prefer "Call Me Maybe"
	I massively prefer "Call Me Maybe""Grace Kelly" by Mika is about the only pop song of recent times that's as good, IMHO
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:40, Reply)
 I like to do "Don't go breaking my heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee
	I like to do "Don't go breaking my heart" by Elton John and Kiki DeeOnly I have to sing Kiki Dee's part.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:45, Reply)
 I know what you mean about films
	I know what you mean about filmsbut have sadly got to the point where I only like expensive lager. I'd rather go without than drink Carlsberg or Fosters.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)
 Oh for sure but I meant lager vs bitter or ale which some wankers seem to have a religious devotion to.
	Oh for sure but I meant lager vs bitter or ale which some wankers seem to have a religious devotion to.By all means don't enjoy lager but don't pretend some dark brown syrup is a better thing to wash down a huge gobful of dry meat with.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:41, Reply)
 Just for the record I fucking love some of the 'brown beers' too.
	Just for the record I fucking love some of the 'brown beers' too.They definitely have their place.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)
 There's a local brewery to me that is producing some excellent ales
	There's a local brewery to me that is producing some excellent alesIf you see anything from Offbeat Brewery near you, give it a go.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:45, Reply)
 The American Pale Ale  produced by the Dark Star Brewery is rather excellent.
	The American Pale Ale  produced by the Dark Star Brewery is rather excellent.(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:53, Reply)
 American 'craft beers' can be v nice, I have found.
	American 'craft beers' can be v nice, I have found.I rather like that 'Blue Moon'.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:56, Reply)
 That stuff is bloody gorgeous
	That stuff is bloody gorgeousbut you have to make your peace with drinking a beer with a slice of orange floating in it.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:06, Reply)
 The best American one I've tried was called 'Lucifer'
	The best American one I've tried was called 'Lucifer'Fuck me, that stuff was strong. Very nice though.
EDIT: Shit, turns out it's Belgian. How odd. Ah well, might get one of the others next time
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:16, Reply)
 Look, I'm not looking down on any limp wristed bass playing types who shacked up with birds off of the internet
	Look, I'm not looking down on any limp wristed bass playing types who shacked up with birds off of the internetI'm not doing that at all, but seriously, who sits down to a big pile of lamb chops, spicy poos, fish tikka and dry meat with a bottle of best bitter?
I'll tell you who Monters, woofters, that's who.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:43, Reply)
 Oh yeah, with you there
	Oh yeah, with you thereI'm sure a fantastically rare oak-aged mead has its place but anywhere that serves such fare will have Peroni or Estrella on tap as well.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:47, Reply)
 Same.
	Same.Although, much to my regret, I had a pint of Carling a little while back which I seriously enjoyed. Granted, we'd done an 8 mile hike before it, but that didn't stop me being ashamed of myself.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:43, Reply)
 When I cycled around the Isle of WIght I enjoyed several pints of fosters top.
	When I cycled around the Isle of WIght I enjoyed several pints of fosters top.(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:44, Reply)
 I am a bit of a closet monarchist
	I am a bit of a closet monarchistalthough more of the "hang the politiians and let someone who's been bred for the job do it" type rather than the mugs and tea-towels brigade.
I am also a big fan of Sharpe, both on telly and in books.
IRL I have a lot of time for Monty
that's all I can think of that might surprise people.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:35, Reply)
 I was wondering why no one was replying to me, you only goen and made a new thread without telling me =(
	I was wondering why no one was replying to me, you only goen and made a new thread without telling me =(I did a good gag about wanking in a library too.
Oh god, I hate midsomer murders, or "Generic english village detective show" like johnathan creek and all that. And Pryroe can fuck off too.
I don't think I could say anything about my likes that would shock people, everyone thinks my tastes in entertainment are crap, but only too look cool. Secretly everyone loves a bit of Will Young.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)
 I do actually, I was listening to Magic FM in teh car the other day and he was playing and I thought to myself "I do like a bit of Will Young"
	I do actually, I was listening to Magic FM in teh car the other day and he was playing and I thought to myself "I do like a bit of Will Young"(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:38, Reply)
 Yay ! Echos is really good, and I like Friday's Child.
	Yay ! Echos is really good, and I like Friday's Child. I don't think he's a good singer, he has a slight whinnyness to it, but I just really like the vast majority of his stuff.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:40, Reply)
 I will watch almost any film or tv series involving time travel
	I will watch almost any film or tv series involving time traveland read any book whose cover talks about a 'centuries old secret'.
Actually, I can't think of anything about me that I haven't already told you.
Now that is shocking.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 10:43, Reply)
 I like the quiz programme Just Connect
	I like the quiz programme Just ConnectIts not very surprising that I spend the half hour oggling Victoria Coren's magnificent tits.
That David Mitchell, is the luckiest fellow alive.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:11, Reply)
 I fucking love all those cop chase shows,
	I fucking love all those cop chase shows, Cops on the street, streetcrime UK, worlds scariest police videos, all that tosh.
More worryingly, anything involving serial killers fascinates me, documentaries, books, articles, none of the made up tv white mind, only proper grim murderers. And fat people, any of those weight loss, or extreme obesity documentaries, I sit there, and feel utterly disgusted that these people exist, band have allowed themselves to get to the point where they haven't stood up in a decade, but I watch it
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:13, Reply)
 I'm using the cop chase shows to house hunt in Slough.
	I'm using the cop chase shows to house hunt in Slough.If the street appears on the programme, I cross it off my list.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:19, Reply)
 Good amount of sirens all up and down the Bath Road last night
	Good amount of sirens all up and down the Bath Road last nightI thought some sort of national emergency was going on, there were that many.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:24, Reply)
 I have an all-consuming love for CSI
	I have an all-consuming love for CSIand really, REALLY hate suede.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:21, Reply)
 The material.
	The material.Former flatmate used to threaten me with replacing my pillowcases with suede ones. Terrifying.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:26, Reply)
 there was some lesbian boob grope-age on fri
	there was some lesbian boob grope-age on fribut i was the taker, not the giver
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:56, Reply)
 It's great isn't it. If you're a girl it's fine to sexaully assault other women.
	It's great isn't it. If you're a girl it's fine to sexaully assault other women.But if you're a man you get in all sorts of trouble.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:58, Reply)
 i had 3 of them on me, it were grand
	i had 3 of them on me, it were grandi suspect monty put them up to it, as it gave him an unimpeded line to the booze
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:00, Reply)
 Hello stranger
	Hello strangerCongratulations on graduating. Are you still living in London?
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:26, Reply)
 Hello darling.
	Hello darling.Congratulations to you! I am doing an MA and I am still in London living with Crow. Which is nice.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:29, Reply)
 Wonderful stuff.
	Wonderful stuff.I am getting quite desperate for some spicy meat so we should arrange a hot date with Monty and your limpwristed co-habitor
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:30, Reply)
 Most definitely! Would be lovely to see you again.
	Most definitely! Would be lovely to see you again.Though I still can't believe your face is bald now...
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:35, Reply)
 It won't be for long
	It won't be for longI'm growing it back again. I can't understand how people manage without beards, my face has never been so cold these last few days.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:41, Reply)
 his disappearance is solely responsible for the number of posts per day
	his disappearance is solely responsible for the number of posts per daydeclining at an alarming rate
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:52, Reply)
 Despite all evidence to the contrary
	Despite all evidence to the contraryand disappointingly for swipe, I'm not actually gay.
Q is right though, I am a prick.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:42, Reply)
 Pretty good.
	Pretty good.The woman who does the building management in my new place is smoking hot. I'm glad I don't see her that often or I'd never get any work done.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:53, Reply)
 Seriously, she's small, blonde and thin and is currently wearing black leggings and knee high patent leather boots.
	Seriously, she's small, blonde and thin and is currently wearing black leggings and knee high patent leather boots.(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:55, Reply)
 we had a rather hot girl at my old firm who was a dead ringer for michelle pfeiffer but with D cup boobs and about 5'4
	we had a rather hot girl at my old firm who was a dead ringer for michelle pfeiffer but with D cup boobs and about 5'4she used to maraud around in tight tops and fuck-me boots, and the boys were reduced to panting morons chanting MILF MILF underneath their breaths (she was probably about 35). one of them had a very vocal fantasy about "dipping her in chocolate". THEN they found out she used to be a policewoman and nearly came in their pants.
THEN she turned gay and moved in with a woman.
and all their heads exploded. TL:DR - men. hopeless.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:59, Reply)
 I have an irrational hatred of Oasis
	I have an irrational hatred of Oasisand Liam Gallagher in particular. Don't mind Noel though.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:42, Reply)
 This?
	This?www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.coca-cola.co.uk/content/shared/img/brands/browse/HP_203x218_oasistrio.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.coca-cola.co.uk/&h=218&w=202&sz=51&tbnid=sctg5Ze12Hif4M:&tbnh=94&tbnw=87&prev=/search%3Fq%3Doasis%2Bdrink%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=oasis+drink&usg=__NA3qKKikqUyCZODoCRxKoY9jSSg=&docid=Z3lfmCngROFU4M&hl=en&sa=X&ei=N-K9UOfIJ9GU0QXwsYD4DA&sqi=2&ved=0CD0Q9QEwAw&dur=1872
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:45, Reply)
 I tell you what
	I tell you whatI cannot understand why people buy drinks like that. What kind of idiot pays a quid for some squash?
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:49, Reply)
 The citrus punch is frighteningly effective on hangovers
	The citrus punch is frighteningly effective on hangoverspossibly because it contains a metric fuckton of sugar, I suspect.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:51, Reply)
 Bacon is the cure TRUFAX
	Bacon is the cure TRUFAXOr was it Love? was love the cure? never can remember.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:54, Reply)
 There's nothing irrational
	There's nothing irrational about hating oasis. It's more rational than fractions.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:47, Reply)
 I wanted to be an actor when I was a nipper.
	I wanted to be an actor when I was a nipper.I was in a BBC education programme called 'Throwaways' and an extra in Byker Grove for a few years post Ant and Dec.
I also had an audition for 'Purely Belter' but didn't get it on the grounds of not being Geordie enough... (they then cast mackems for the main parts)
I then got into music and spent a lot of years DJing, for which Im now very very deaf!
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:47, Reply)
 What kind of records were you playing?
	What kind of records were you playing?Bronski Beat, Erasure etc right?
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:55, Reply)
 I'M PRETENDING THAT I THINK ALL BENDERS LIKE BRONSKI BEAT ETC!!!!!!!!
	I'M PRETENDING THAT I THINK ALL BENDERS LIKE BRONSKI BEAT ETC!!!!!!!!(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:55, Reply)
 Bloody Stereotype!
	Bloody Stereotype!Back in the day it was all trance and hard dance. I was a bit of a raver
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:59, Reply)
 Me too, but back in the acid days and into the hardcore era.
	Me too, but back in the acid days and into the hardcore era.I went off it all after a while though I did have a thing for Detroit techno for a spell.
I DJed hip hop and funk for fucking years before eventually admitting defeat maybe 5 years ago or so.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:02, Reply)
 Im actually going up North this weekend for a rave
	Im actually going up North this weekend for a raveIn a warehouse somewhere... I've booked the Monday off in advance cos Im cracking on a bit now
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:03, Reply)
 I had a dream the other night in which I was back at a rave in about 1991
	I had a dream the other night in which I was back at a rave in about 1991it was so realistic it did my head in. I woke up super-nostalgic.
I fucking miss those days A LOT.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:05, Reply)
 Not that I remember.
	Not that I remember.I went to several of the old aircraft hangar/warehouse parties: no idea of any of the latter were in Docklands as I can't drive and was constantly high so not paying attention to where we were going. Some of those fuckers were incredible.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:26, Reply)
 I'm currently in the top 5 most recomended comments on a daily mail article.
	I'm currently in the top 5 most recomended comments on a daily mail article.(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 11:51, Reply)
 omg reel names on the internet
	omg reel names on the internetwww.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2242576/Kate-Middleton-Just-years-glow-fading-shaft-light-cheers-up.html
fucking awful article.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:05, Reply)
 Hahahahahahah
	HahahahahahahThe only reason William is living is due to the fact Diana was sacrificed
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:13, Reply)
 
	 I agree, William and Kate's shaft of light has cheered us all up. This Royal shaft of light rounds off a great year to be British. But I think it is probably Kate who has taken the most pleasure from the Royal shaft.
- Sgcustom, Chelmsford, United Kingdom, 4/12/2012 8:41
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:19, Reply)
 i like the way the infertile woman got downvoted.
	i like the way the infertile woman got downvoted."fuck off shrivelled ovaries"
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:21, Reply)
 I noticed that
	I noticed thatAs I can't have babies I get sad when I hear about other peopl.......Fuck of and take you barran womb with you.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:25, Reply)
 I dunno what the fuck is going with sites like the mail
	I dunno what the fuck is going with sites like the mailbut if I go to that and try and go back, every fucking entry in my history for the last 100 pages is some adbot thing.
And it's not that it's a virus on my PC, I've checked that one. It's just odd.
(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 12:20, Reply)
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