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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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HAPPY EASTERI made a batch of marmalade with whisky in it as part of my povvo 'I made this' Xmas gift campaign. How about THAT, eh?
What's the best thing you've made (apart from sweet love to my dad)?
Alt: So, last day of trading for Comet. Who do you reckon is next?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:28,
164 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
which whisky?Best thing I've made is several young children cry.
Alt- B3ta.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:32, Reply)
I used a 1000 year old Wee Jimmie McTaggart AuchtenbuggghauichNO I DIDN'T I USED SOME CHEAP SCOTCH FROM TESCO YOU FUCKING HELMET, DO YOU THINK I'M RETARDED?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:33,
Reply)
I'm certain that's fascinating to someone.However
a) I made mine at home so relevance here is almost non-existent
b) what part of 'povvo 'I made this' Xmas gift' are you struggling to comprehend?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:41,
Reply)
what part of'Prick off and go and give CQ a gob job' do you not understand?
Wanker.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:43, Reply)
which part of'you're turquoise and a midget - are you a fucking smurf?' are you struggling with?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:45,
Reply)
is this you teasing me about being a recovered stammerer?You horrible bully.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:48, Reply)
Did you drink the rest of it this morning?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
Christ no.Much as I love 'Special Reserve' Tesco blended Scotch, and goodness me I truly do, even I with my iron constitution draw the line at having it for breakfast, although I did LOL at the label which read 'makes any occasion special', including 'shouting in a bus shelter', I presume?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
Nicely done.Fuck knows, probably the soup the other day. That was a bit good.
Alt: DFS.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:32,
Reply)
Alt: nah mate, HMV.All because of Al and Chompy and their grubby little theiving.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:34,
Reply)
No question.Although I bought a record off them online about a year ago. Took a month but was the best price out there.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
I think it might be only the second or third thing I've ever bought off them.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
I once made a turd the size of a beer canAlt: your mum, I'm not sure her heart is really into suck jobs
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:34,
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Alt: a north london based e-commerce business, owned by a jew and ran by an idiot.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:34,
Reply)
That might not be as funny is you think it is.Sales are dismal.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:35,
Reply)
For lots of places. I think the economy will get even worse next year; very high inflation to come.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
Good news for me with my 'pay freeze as standard' (
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
Alt: BHSUnless they've already gone bust, haven't seen one in years
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:40,
Reply)
borders is gone no?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:06,
Reply)
what did i do?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
I reckon Bejams and Rumbelows are next!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
Where will I get toner for my Amstrad fax machine!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
I don't really mmake stuff much. oh, my cider was pretty boss.I quite liked comet really, keeping fat unpleasant sweaty men in work and off the streets. Some of the guys in the oxford one smelt worse than most tramps.
I should think everyone else will survive, maybe whsmiths? Can't be making much on all that £1 chocolate.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
Smiths have been on a knife edge for years,Every year they change the top person as if that will help. They're fuckin' doomed.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
But where will I go to read magazines and not buy them?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:58,
Reply)
I'd like to point out that this isn't stealingmore like copy write infrigemnet
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 8:59,
Reply)
or even 'copyright'I was lolling hard at Chompo about that yesterday.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:02, Reply)
mumble...i-phone....mumble...auto correct(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
correctthere is nothing funnier than a pompous twat talking about something about which s/he knows nothing
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
this why no one likes you.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
Well, it's one tiny part of it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:07,
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You're only saying what everyone else is thinking.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
Merry Christmas Nakie-NooI love you really xxxxx
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:23,
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MorningMade a cracking chicken jalfrezi last week, not sure it's the "best" thing I've ever made, though.
I've made an enormous tit of myself on many occasions.
Alt: The Syrian Government
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
Alt: I haven't bought a thing off them in years. Poor old 'troubled high street giant' The Syrian Government.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
I suspect there'll be literally "giving away" their chemical weapons stash as a parting gesture to their customers(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Does everyone know this?z8.invisionfree.com/Ssenorita/index.php?showtopic=179
According to Lusty it's old but it's new to me and very funny indeed.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:09,
Reply)
Reads like someone has copied and pasted other "Closer" articles together"The other fans on the Chucklebrothers message board were so jealous when I told them"
Can't be real.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:13,
Reply)
What the fuck is going on with that site?I couldn't read a word of that because there appeared to be fleas or some shit flying around my mouse cursor.
Or am I starting to hallucinate?
I think I need a lie-down.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:16,
Reply)
Move the cursor aside and all will be wellAlt: You are having a breakdown, kill yourself
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
THEYRE CRAWLING ALL OVER MY SKIN!!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
that's because you never wash you crusty hippy(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
It's not that shocking a revelation.Famous man uses fame to get sex.
The funniest bit is the quote from lovely Sally at the end:
“I can’t believe I almost slept with an ageing comedian when my husband’s got the body of Brad Pitt’ says Sally
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
uhhh I made a few drawings. I did one for you.And I think YOU'RE next.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)
Poor old 'troubled high street giant' Ding Dong Montily on High.In fairness I am rather tall and I do live in a doorway on the High Street.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
HAPPY EPIPHANYHave I mentioned my album?
Alt: The NHS
/liddlebiddapoliticsthere
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:18,
Reply)
ooh, harsh...There are some good ones...
There's...um...the one with..., surely...
Nope. You may be right after all.
Although I booked tickets to The Book Of Mormon, I'm hoping that is different.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
I did see 'Wicked', but all I really remember was that Gin & Tonic was very expensive, so I'm not qualified to pass judgement.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
I read this as "I have homosexual tendencies"(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
Oliver!I like that one.
I knew there had to be at least one.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:28,
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you just like that bit where Oliver tries to touch his bumhole with his cock(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
Oliver! has to be one of the worst.Quite apart from the fact that Dickens is utterly shit, Lionel Bart's songs are arse-drippingly trite aural vomit.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
And "Jerry Springer: The Opera" was excellent.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
Sorry about yesterday scarpers.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
Not a second thought, my man, don't worry about it.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
I am much calmer today, (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
And yes, just as I hit 'post this message'I realised that there's a massive clue in the title 'Jerry Springer: The Opera' as to why it's not a valid counter point to 'all musicals are shit'.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
I suspect that most opera is not great either, but it is not something I have listened to a great deal of.It gets away with a lot by being in Italian or German though.
Have you ever heard English operas?
Oh my god the libretti are dreadful.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
Opera is a heap of 'emperor's new clothes' shit.Fucking Italian peasant entertainment with 'plots' as shit as Shakespeare's comedies and that fucking dismal bellowing.
It's shit. Wagner excepted.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
You know he was deeply ashamed of his association with your heroes?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:46,
Reply)
Nazilolz aside I don't mind old Waggers.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
I meant proper operasand also I'm not really paying attention.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:49,
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It is a proper opera, just a modern proper opera.I want to keep saying the phrase 'proper opera' now.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
Some say that only the Italians did opera properly.So consider 'proper wop opera'
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
I like the one about the Roman Burger KingProper Wop Whopper Opera.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
Nah, that's just silly.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
I should very much like to hear Jonathan Ross say that.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
I just had a little office chuckle to myself trying to say that in Ross' voice.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
where is the line drawn between opera and musical?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
If it's got music in it, and it's in a theatre, it is shit.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
*displays arch hypocrisy and betrays a lifetime of smug principles by cosying up to Lloyd Webber in exchange for money and status*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
*loses heart to a starship trooper*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:31,
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The NHS won't go anywhere.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
Yeah? Which marmalade?It better be some sensitively aged in oak casks cottage industry marmalade made with only oranges from Pablo Saumerez' farm just outside Seville or else I'm going to look down my nose at you.
I've got a cold. I am currently making unholy amounts of snot. My only comfort is that I'm going to infect an entire plane load of people with it tomorrow morning and if there's a screaming child as there so often is, I'm going to sneeze RIGHT IN ITS FUCKING FACE.
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Kroney, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
If it'll rescue me from your relentless bleating, I'll welcome it.(
Kroney, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
I can't believe you'd actually welcome fireydeath over talking to me(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
what kind of egomaniac goes back and reads their own posts?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
Nakers doesn't believe 'knees' are real.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
It must be nice to live a life so simplethat simple act of getting out of bed, or squatting to take a dump, is full of so much magic and mystery.
"How does my body do it, when it remains upright and rigid at all times?" he wonders aloud, whilst his care worker once again silently considers whether euthanasia wouldn't be kinder.
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Kroney, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
oh is it your romantic holiday with the missus tomorrow??(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:46,
Reply)
ignoring me doesn't make it less of a relationship, you knowyou can ignore me, but you can't ignore the LURVE
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
I don't care about the intentions of your threadI am stuck in stressed and terrified of missing a delivery driver. I just checked the website, it says it should be here today, but it also has a thing advertising for delivery drivers in the same way you might see on a pizza shop. This is not encouraging.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:49,
Reply)
while usually that would be nicenot today
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
Really? A thread about home-made stuff doesn't interest you?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
i'll be honest I am so stressed I didn't read it. I was like "a monty thread? it'll just be some nonsense"
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
plus, I'd end up making a list(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
someone gave me a jar of honey the other day, from their own beehivei didn't - and don't - quite know what to do with it. smearing it all over bradley cooper and spending the next 137 years licking it off aside. but the label says "made by our happy bees" which i thought was nice.
alt: i know (and it's more than one) but i can't say. stupid professional obligations.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
homemade mead is grim as fuckI have never had nice homemade mead
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
I *nearly* had mead at a beer festival the other day.Luckily at the last minute I realised that I was in fact not a level 9 paladin so I drank some retardedly-named beer instead.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
paladins often don't drinkdepending on the particular faith they follow
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
he's trying to be cool like mebut he don't know his character classes
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
it's an emotional lollercoaster(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
I think mead is fine when they are giving away free samples at Kenilworth CastleBut I would never buy any.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
depends which one you getthis is awesome
www.highlandwineries.co.uk/moniack-mead.php
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
Never, I said.Never.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
professional obligations?there is nothing professional about any gazzes that i receive
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
No, for breaching them by privately telling me who is going down the tubes(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
I reckon its sunglass hut.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
I started a new thread you know.But not about sunglass hut.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
does sunglasses hut really exist?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
I bought sunglasses from them.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Dec 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
that was really a wizard in disguiseyou have magic glasses
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 10:02,
Reply)
i have at least 4 major names that have been asking for tip of iceberg concessions blah blah blahwatch the news after the december quarter date...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
is it basically everywhere except Tescoand we're all staring at a future with one big shop laid out in the way most likely to disorientate and frustrate you, where the lights are too bright and people attack you with trolleys?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 10:02,
Reply)
Tesco are losing market share at the momentand have failed in America, so don't think they'll be taking over any time soon.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Their cuntishness will hopefully be their undoing.Jew bastards.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
I hope it's M&Sfed up of hearing people go on about how wonderful their stuff is, as if you can't get the same for less elsewhere without the snob badge on.
(, Tue 18 Dec 2012, 9:55, Reply)
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