Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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bonerEVERYBODY DANCE NOW!
Dun dun dun-dun dun!
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:03,
241 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Based on this statement and my knowledge of Chompy's home life, I can only conclude that he's either a gay or a paedophile,Or a gay paedophile.
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:15,
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So his girlfriend isn't just a stripper, she's an underage stripper?Tsk.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:17,
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Yeah, well at least I didn't push poor baldmonkey over the edge by getting married.(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:17, Reply)
If I'd have only known how successful a piece of trolling that was going to be I'd have done it years ago.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:18,
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I can't my hip's playing up.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:34,
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^thisPlus knees, ankles and back.
And this floor isn't reinforced.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:38,
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hips, and ankles, knees and backknees and back
and cateracts and zimmer frames and false teeth and hearing aids...
hips, and ankles, knees and back.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:41,
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is the boner mandatory?that might be a problem for me
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:36,
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Just think of Greggs Hat and try a wide on instead. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:37,
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omg this weeks shameless (US version) "That's my girl penis"
"It looks like a boy penis"
I died
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:39,
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Do you consider 1 night of fumbling dating?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:41,
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if there have been a number of dates before the fumblingas there should be, then yes.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:43,
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Swipe admitted to having a hairy one once. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:43,
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er noyou accused me of it. i denied it.
baby's bottoms have nothing on my waxing, thank you.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:43,
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I'm pretty sure you don't wax babies bottoms.It definitely wasn't in the NCT course.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:44,
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What are the other couples like?cunts? i bet they're cunts
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:46,
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At least a couple of them are definitely OK.One of the other couples is into hypnobirthing, though. Although, being fair, it has nowt to do with hypnosis it turns out, so not quite as utterly mental as it first appeared.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:51,
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Our NCT group were alright, apart from one lot of yogurt weavers. Have you got to the bit about the mucus plug yet? Delightful.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:01,
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Yeah, we've finished them now. But I've spent quite a long time in medical researchincluding 3 years working on endemetriosis. There's nothing that any antenatal class can do that will provoke a reaction other than "meh" in me.
My wife, on the other hand...
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:06,
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At one class they talked about 'breast confusion'. I asked a mate about this and was told 'there is no confusion. You won't be allowed anywhere near them'.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:09,
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Well played. Man of the match award.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:12,
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well, not in scotlandpersonal grooming isn't what it is down here in civilised countries
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:46,
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The gingers up there don't try and dye their hair brown for starters(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:47,
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hey, it's me against the world baby/tupac
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:49,
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And Dre. Don't forget about Dre.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:53,
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Never!I was listeing to "Straight outta Compton" just yesterday
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:53,
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I don't think you can use "civilised" and "hairy-arsed babies"as a positive example, sweetheart.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:52,
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i figured it meant a foof that was so sticky-outythat it looked like a cock?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:43,
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well, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much...(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:44,
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In Nakers case it was probably explained asWhen a mummy isn't getting very well with daddy and goes out and meets half a squad of the royal engineers, she ended up being multipled and mummy doesn't know who your genetic daddy is.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:46,
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Engineers eh? Well this baby's prospects are looking up!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:48,
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Airtight plus ski-ing I believe. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:05,
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I'm guessing that the girl is actually a boy and doesn't know any different(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:44,
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I thought she had a 3 inch clit like a body builder woman(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:45,
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so she's a girl child, with no tits and a penis?i think she might be a hermaphrodite
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:49,
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I'm so exicted I just weed a little bit and now there is wee down my leg and in my shoe and wehn aI walk my shoes squelches and everyones looks at me like I've got wee in my shoe(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:57,
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I can't right now - I'm too busy searching for the hero inside myself.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:39,
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you probably shouldn't have eaten him, in hindsight.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:39,
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Like you could have resisted.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:42,
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Heather Small was always Shovelling sweets from one of those large plastic M&M People sweet hoppers into her gobShe really didn't feel proud afterwards
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:44,
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Yep. I sold her some grass, got a blow job and then cut her head off.
/montystyle.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:53, Reply)
Like gangnam style but with more machetes. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:02,
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is no one appreicating my M-People pun post?i think it's the worst thing i've ever posted
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:51,
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I liked it.I just don't feel worthy of trying to reply.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:53,
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that's enough for be vaga you old rascal(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:54,
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It's even worse than you.If that's philosophically possible
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:53,
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WTN is a metaphysical irony that could lead to a tear in the space time hymen(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:54,
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Afternoon sad sack, how ya feeling, do you need a hug?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:50,
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I swear man, what really does my tits in, is these fucking eCard things that everyone is posting, it fills my facebook every hour, that fucking pathetic people with no fucking lives think is all about them.*Victorian sketch* I START EVERY DAY WITH A LIE - I SAY GOOD MORNING
*Victorian sketch* BEST FRIENDS ARE PEOPLE WHO DISLIKE THE SAME PEOPLE AS YOU
*Picture of a kitten* SOMETIMES I NEED TO SAY A SWEAR WORD.
I might make one saying "My life can't be defined by a fucking e-card" and see them all copy it.
Does my fucking tits in all these things, it's the modern equivolent of writing lyrics.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:53,
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Ok, I'm gonna be controversial hereI get none of these things, you know why? Because i am only "friends" with my friends and not random fuckwits and internet wierdos.
try it you might kike it
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:56,
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dangerous theory. (
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:56,
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we don't mention Gonz's jewish heritage.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:57,
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I'm pretty sure he kikes everything.Being, you know.
I'm just saying, it wasn't an *inaccurate* typo.
Where does that slang term come from, anyway?
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Kroney, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:03,
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I get so much shit from my friends on FacebookAnd they're actual, real life friends too. I actually got one of those chain letter posts the other day that promised to make my wishes come true if I reposted within 15 minutes. Fucking what?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:59,
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just out of interest are they fuckwits in real as well?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:01,
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Well.....I'm afraid I'll have to say yesThat's the problem when you make friends as a kid. All you need to have in common is that you're both kids.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:02,
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Oh godAnd those awful 'motivational' things that people post. "A real man is someone who blah blah blah". Also, put every word in a different font and put a completely unrelated picture in the background.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:08,
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the yanks seem to like those alot, i see many in InstawankHey, hey windy!!
Keep Calm
and
Buy stilettos!
Drink tea!
Listen to Savage Garden!
Kill yourself!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:09,
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It is a problemeveryone needs to have some slightly stupid friends, or the conversations just become one-dimensional
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:01,
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Double stamp the cunts, Gonz. You won't unfriend them because there is the prospect that you might be interested in some of their future drivel.
Hobson's choice.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:56, Reply)
Gonz, I'm entirely with you.However, just remember, there are probably people who think exactly the same about all the pug shit and food pictures you post. Just sayin', mate.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 16:57,
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There are probably people who hate my tendecy to re-post Daily Mash articlesProbably they sit around going "for fuck's sake badger, if I wanted to see that I'd just go to the daily mash, you fucker"
They're humourless cunts, of course, but I'm sure they are still there.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:00,
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well I think the think is peeps is all differentso you have to put up with people postying stuff you don't like.
or unfriend them
and then watch a dull stream of people posting the same shit as you.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:08,
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To be fair, it's people posting pug shit on my wall, not me posting pug shit. Maybe once every other month i'd do it myself.But yeah', fair play 'bout the food.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:01,
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The defence would be it's stuff you did yourself (the food)rather than reposting any old shit (the Victorian pictures)
But everyone will have something that winds them up. Like Kroney says, what can you, delete everyone?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:02,
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I swear to God I'm going to start deleting all the breeders I know.Fucking hell. OK, a picture to introduce the kid, but when every other post is about "my little princess" it makes me want to rage murder their entire family with hammers.
So yeah, I have anger issues.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:05,
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We don't really do that, mainly as it's weird having Mark Zuckerberg wanking over your kids picturesbut also it's annoying
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:07,
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Get your own issue. Anger's MY gig. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:07,
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People who refer to their daughters as 'princesses' are common as muckAnd as such should be tossed around a farmyard with a big fucking rake.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:08,
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This one certainly is.She named her kid after, I assume, Ava Gardner. Which I used to think was a nice name until I heard her say it. Ay-VAR. In a horrible, nasal West London.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:10,
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I recommend you cease all contant immediately in case it's catching.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:11,
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I will always pronounce it EH-ver, as I'm not a horrible prole.(
Kroney, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:15,
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There are kids at one of the classes my daughter goes to called Atticus and Arlo. Queens Park wankers.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:19,
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The most honestly-named football team ever.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:21,
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says the man that bought a castle for his daughter(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:10,
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I also bought her 'Wind in the Willows' and I don't call her Mr fucking Toad either.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:12,
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if i had a daughter I'd call her a toadJust to keep her in check
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:13,
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That's sexistHe could have got the castle so she could practice being a crusader-era knight.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:14,
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or a plague riddled corpselike her father
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:15,
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This is exactly why.She once asked me if we could play 'knights and kills' and loves my (real) swords as well as her toy ones.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:17,
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"He's a little angel"*small boys in background is setting fire to the dog*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:11,
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"He's a cute angle"*small boy standing at 30°*
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:15,
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Two of my close friends, who are (were) genuinely sound, fun peoplestarted a facebook account for their rugrat the second it was born.
I mean, for actual fucks sake. What is wrong with people?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:09,
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I can only diagnose that they are fuck wits, I'm sorry but there is no other answerthey'll look back and realise what pricks they are
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:11,
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The answer is hammers WAY too often these days, mate.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:13,
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Nothing a fucking scalpel to the windpipe won't cure.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:12,
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yeah.I know. They are really great people otherwise. But I think you might be right, for the good of humanity.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:15,
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Because people are blissfully unaware that no one gives two shits about their kids except themI fucking hate people with children, no offence to anyone here. I don't bang on about my kids for this exact reason...NO ONE CARES!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:18,
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You'd never catch me banging on about mine.Hang on....
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:20,
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DifferentIt's all the "Little Jimmy said something SOOOOOO funny the other day, wait a minute, I've got a 10 minute video on my phone of him spouting some utter bollocks that won't mean anything to you"
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:22,
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it is hard not to, as they take up so much of your time/consciousness (
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:24,
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Mine sure doesIt'll be two months a week Friday, not counting the 15 mins in which I got strangled.
:o((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:26,
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yeah sorry about that, didn't mean to rub it in.you know I'm rooting for ya!*
obvious strikethrough alert!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:28,
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I know, I know.Sorry to bang on about it so much.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:31,
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don't be silly, I'd be devastated if i was you; i totes understand(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:34,
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i do care about me close friends kids as i tend to know them(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:25,
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I care about them to a degree, but I don't need to hear about every tiny little thingAnd it is EVERYTHING.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:26,
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Yeah' man, exactly.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:06,
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Yes you can.And your own account.
People are cunts and they should all fuck off, and, preferably, die.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:07,
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Course you can, or simple block all updates from the fuckwits(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:07,
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yeah, I dop this with people I want to stay in touch with and not actually offendbut who post utter drivel 99% of the time.
usually about football.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:11,
Reply)
I have some good friends who occasionally post stupid things.I find a far better solution is not to get irrationally annoyed about words and pictures on a computer screen, like a well-adjusted grown up.
Except when people start facebook accounts for their babies. That shit justifies maiming.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:11,
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I get fed up with food posts.What can you do? Delete everybody?
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Kroney, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:00,
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Facebook is shit, apart from keeping in touch with people overseas. HTH. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:04,
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and looking at pictures of people who know pwople you know in their bikinis(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:08,
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Most of my Facebook friends are female.This is entirely unrelated.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:08,
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Imagine Joey Deacon in a bikini. Does that answer your question?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:14,
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No, but I know that I could cut glass right now.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:16,
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I do have good legsThere are also somewhere, although thank god not in the internet, pictures of me in a mankini and some brown brogues
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:14,
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A couple of days ago, an ex put up a picture of me from when we lived togetherabout 16 or 17 years ago. I'm topless, with a russian hamster on my shoulder.
Clearly she hasn't fucking forgiven me for leaving her.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:18,
Reply)
haha, norussian hamsters are just smaller and slightly more aggressive than other hamsters. Kind of the Battered of the hamster world.
And you have to keep them in a fish tank.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:20,
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LOLOLOLOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:22,
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your powers are weak old manSTRWARZLOLZZZ
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:22,
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See how many FB adds you get from B3tans now you've told them that. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:20,
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gaz me his name so i can have a look yeah?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:22,
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haha.Most of the /OT ladies have already stalked me, obviously.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:22,
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I imagine that is similar to when humpback whales corral fish with trails of bubbles(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:23,
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I've got a mental image of swipe swimming around a tank gushing bubbles out of her faffas Badge desperately swims closer to the surface.
You know I was wrong about Winder's parentage. THIS is the weirdest boner ever.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:25,
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I can't really it'd break dozer's heart, i rejected him(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:20,
Reply)
Why is it so late in the day before we start getting accurate posts like this?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:21,
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you'd never think i got an A at GCSE French(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:27,
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Didn't do it, in fact I'm even sure it was offered(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:30,
Reply)
He really isn't. He had quite a substantial Bert episode the other night.
Questionable mental stability IMHO*
* yes Rory, I know, stones, glass houses etc. Snore.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:54,
Reply)
Oh man, work owe me £753 worth of expenses!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:30,
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So a receipt for a good lunch then?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:35,
Reply)
pfft, just many miles in the car and on the train£820 now
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:36,
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My brother is on the road for a good few house most days,his expenses claims are fucking gigantic.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:41,
Reply)
What mileage rate can you claim?I get 45p a mile for a 2.4 turbo diesel.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:43,
Reply)
You know you claim back any difference between what your company pay Nd the inland revenue limit? So say there is a 5p difference and you do 10k miles a year that's £500 you claim back against tax.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:56,
Reply)
I had no idea and actually would have no idea about how to claimI'm a bit useless about stuff like that, could do with doing a course in personal finance really.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 17:58,
Reply)
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